Victoria gestured for Holly to walk in front of her. She placed her hand gently on the girl’s back and guided her towards the airbridge.
She normally wouldn’t be considered a tactile person, but for some reason Holly was bringing out another side of her. At the embassy, she’d quickly stood between Holly and the buffoon with the camera. Her fingers deftly brushed through Holly’s short locks before her brain had engaged and she’d stepped back.
At the time, she had made the point that a passport photograph was something Holly would have to live with for a few years and pressed that it was important to look one’s best. But the truth was that she’d acted without thinking.
Just a short time before, she’d been sitting shoulder to shoulder with Holly as they looked at the iPad. Their hands touched occasionally as they skimmed over the iPad screen, pointing to icons and swiping. She’d never touched Holly before, but now it was becoming a habit.
A habit that she needed to break.
Holly stopped dead in the middle of the airbridge. Victoria nearly walked into her.
“No way,” Holly said firmly. She pointed towards the window. “No way can that thing fly. Look at it.”
Victoria looked through the window to the Boeing 757 that they were on their way to board.
“Don’t be absurd. Of course it can fly. If it couldn’t fly, then how did it get here?”
“Look at it, it must weigh a million tonnes,” Holly whispered through clenched teeth.
Victoria noted the other first-class passengers starting to walk around them.
“Why don’t you focus your attention on those colossal ten-million-dollar apiece engines that are designed to carry the enormously over-exaggerated weight of the aircraft?” Victoria replied.
Holly spun around and glared at Victoria. “You said I wasn’t afraid of flying!”
“You never told me that you were,” Victoria argued.
“Well, let me show you something.” Holly drew an imaginary ring around her face with her index finger. “This, this is me… afraid of flying.”
“Very mature.” Victoria sighed. She lowered her sunglasses from the top of her head, aware of the scene they were creating. “It’s not even that big. If we were flying from London, it would hold another three hundred passengers. It would have another floor.”
Holly looked incredulous. “So, we’re on a smaller plane and we’re travelling farther? Thank you for not helping.”
Victoria rolled her eyes in exasperation. She took a step forward and put her hand soothingly on Holly’s shoulder.
“I promise you that it is safe. Hundreds of thousands of these aircraft fly all across the world every year without incident. Yes, it’s noisy. And, yes, it’s daunting, but I swear to you that it is perfectly safe.”
Holly looked into her eyes, or at least at her own reflection in Victoria’s sunglasses.
“Take a deep breath in,” Victoria instructed slowly. “And then another one out.”
Holly did as she was instructed.
“Now, we’re going to get on the plane and we’re going to take our seats. I promise you that you will hate take-off. But once we are up in the air, you will wonder what all the fuss was about. You’ll look back at this and laugh.”
Holly slowly nodded. Victoria squeezed her shoulder and then let go. She gestured for Holly to walk in front of her.
“If we die, I will never let you hear the end of it,” Holly mumbled as she walked towards the aircraft door.
As predicted, the take-off had been horrendous. Holly had gritted her teeth and held the armrests in a vicelike grip.
Victoria had no idea how to comfort her, so she had left her to her panic. Instead, she flicked through the inflight magazine with a critical eye and a sneer. Despite her attention being focused on the magazine, she was very much aware of what was happening next to her. She wondered if offering Holly the much desired window seat was such a good idea. Out of the corner of her eye she had seen the girl flipping between staring in awe and tightly closing her eyes.
It wasn’t long before she started to feel a headache creeping at her temples. She had forgotten how exhausting it was to look after someone else. Hugo was fifteen and practically an adult in his own mind. Alexia was eight going on fifty. Then again, she’d always employed the services of a nanny from the moment her children were born.
Watching over Holly was like having a second full-time job.
Once take-off was over and Holly had released her death grip on the innocent armrests, Victoria leaned her head into the leather headrest and closed her eyes.
Victoria was no expert when it came to the art of sleeping. She spent her entire life in a state of hyperawareness. Even with her eyes closed, she was completely aware of her surroundings. The rumble of the cabin crew trolley, the chuckling of someone watching an inflight movie. And, of course, the woman sitting next to her.
It would be fair to say that Holly wore her heart on her sleeve, but knowledge of that fact didn’t stop Victoria being surprised at her ability to monitor Holly’s emotions, even with her eyes shut.
She could sense the girl’s fears slowly fade. After a while, she heard a pen scratching its way over the scrappy notebook the girl seemed so fond of. She could practically feel excitement emanating from the girl.
Victoria had been lying with her eyes closed for around fifty minutes, but it had seemed like hours. It was clear that sleep wasn’t going to come and whisk her away. She was far too curious about what Holly was up to. She opened her eyes and tilted her head towards her neighbour.
“Out with it,” she muttered.
“Oh! You’re awake!” Holly beamed. “I’ve been making plans.” She folded printed pieces of paper up and slid them back into her notebook.
“I know,” Victoria sighed.
“Sorry, did I keep you awake?”
Victoria waved the question away. “No, no… just tell me what you’ve been doing.”
“Well,” Holly started excitedly, “I think I’ve finally chosen a hostel. I had three to pick from. One is a good backup in case the first one is closed or not what I was expecting—”
“Hostel?” Victoria questioned with distaste. “You mean hotel? Why would you need a hotel?”
“I don’t, I need a hostel,” Holly corrected her. “You know, somewhere to live. My apartment will be long gone, even if I knew where it was. So, for now, I’ll get a hostel until I can find a job and get a few months’ pay. Then I can try to rent a room in a house…” Holly drifted off as Victoria stared at her.
“You will not be staying in a… hostel,” Victoria almost spat the word. “You will, of course, be staying with me.”
“I can’t stay with you forever, Victoria. It’s not right. I already owe you so much. No, the sooner I’m independent and out from under your feet, the better,” Holly said triumphantly, her accompanying nod seemingly agreeing the matter for both parties.
“Who said forever?” Victoria pinched the bridge of her nose to relieve some of the stress that was building.
Holly rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Once we land, I’d like to go to this hostel to have a look around. I have the emergency funds they gave me at the embassy. It will depend on their availability, of course, but I hope I can get settled immediately. And then I won’t be such a bother to you.” Holly circled the address in her notebook.
Victoria picked up the tatty book and peered at the addresses. To say the addresses were located on the wrong side of town would be an understatement.
“Absolutely not.” She tossed the book back to Holly. “I forbid it.”
Holly’s mouth fell open. “Excuse me? You what?”
It felt like the cabin temperature dropped by five degrees.
Victoria sighed and started again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. It’s just that it… it will be late when we get back to the city. And I don’t want you, or me, to be lost in one of those neighbourhoods late at night looking for a hostel when I have a perfectly good guestroom for you to stay in.”
Holly looked like she was going to argue.
“At least for tonight,” Victoria hurriedly added. “Of course, you are welcome to stay as long as you like. But at least tonight, maybe the next as well, until you settle a little. We have so much to do, speak with your doctors, find your old apartment, locate your friends, find your bank account… so much to do. It would be better for you to remain at the townhouse. At least for the first week.”
Victoria wanted more. She wanted Holly to stay for the first six months, maybe even a year. After spending so much time without her, it now felt imperative that she have Holly close. If only to ensure that she was safe and well. The thought of her living out of sight in New York was too much to bear. How would she know if Holly was safe if she were out of sight?
Holly still had a face like thunder but appeared to be taking the words into consideration.
“Fine.” She nodded. “But as soon as the administrative stuff is done, I will go to the hostel.”
Victoria rolled her eyes. “Why a hostel?”
“Because they’re cheap. I’m unemployed and I need to get back on my feet again. I can’t afford a New York hotel.”
She frowned. “You’re not unemployed.”
Holly frowned in return. “Yes, I am.”
“You work for me, you’re my second assistant. I told you all of this.”
Holly looked incredulous. “I was your second assistant, a year ago. I’m sure you’ve replaced me by now, and even if you haven’t, I can’t do that job now. I know nothing about it. I’d be no help to you at all. No, I need to start over. I need a new job, a new home. A new me.”
Victoria headache spiked. She massaged her temple.
“You seem intent on causing me pain and removing yourself from my presence as soon as humanly possible,” she mumbled.
“That’s not true,” Holly said softly. “I’m sorry your head hurts, and I’m sorry you can’t sleep. But I want to get back on my feet as soon as possible. I haven’t been able to do anything for myself for a year. Before that, I can’t even remember. I want to be independent. I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to help me.”
“I’m trying to help you, too,” Victoria whispered.
“I know,” Holly admitted. “And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you are doing. I know you want to protect me and look after me, but I need to do some things for myself… I don’t need you mothering me.”
Victoria turned away and stared at the back of the seat in front of her.
Holly gently placed her hand on hers. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Victoria gave a small nod and closed her eyes.