chapter 23
The remainder of the week floated by like a dream, one I dreaded the thought of waking up from. My days were spent with Emmett, mostly hiding from the rain in either his cottage or mine, whichever one had a “parent present.” We watched movies, played video games, and sneaked in some alone time whenever we could. On Thursday, I helped his mom make some candles while Emmett, antsy from too much sedentary time indoors, went out for a long, muddy run.
One thing we didn’t do was talk about Harper. Until Friday at five-ten, when her plane was scheduled to land, she didn’t exist between us.
Friday afternoon, I spent a couple hours with him before leaving at two to meet my aunt Carrie at her cottage. Against my better judgment—which was how I did most things these days—I’d agreed to go with her to pick up Harper. The airport was located just outside Weldon, and the thought of a two-hour drive with my aunt, who had no clue about the secrets I’d been keeping from her daughter, filled me with anxiety. As a high school teacher for the past thirty years, Aunt Carrie had an uncanny intuition when it came to teenagers. Mostly, I was afraid she’d somehow draw the truth from me before I was ready to spill it.
Luckily, my aunt was far more concerned with Harper’s impending emotional state after several days with her father. Even a five-minute phone call with Lawrence could unsettle her for days, she reminded me as we drove toward the city. Who knew how five days with him had affected her?
To our surprise and relief, Harper was all smiles when she spotted us waiting for her near the baggage claim. Her grin held as she approached us, hugging first her mom and then me. She looked tanned and well-rested and happy to see us, which for some reason only intensified my guilt.
“Where’s Uncle Bryce?” she asked as we made our way to the exit.
“In the middle of a cliff-hanger, probably,” I said. “He said he couldn’t leave this close to the end.”
Aunt Carrie glanced at her watch. “Kat, text Mark and let him know we’re on our way, okay?”
I nodded and dug out my phone. We’d made plans to meet Dad downtown at a Japanese restaurant for dinner before the four of us headed back to Millard Lake together. It felt strange being back in Weldon. We rarely came back home during the summer, and when I stepped outside into a wall of smoggy heat, I remembered why. Summer in the city was hot, loud, and dirty.
On the drive downtown, Harper told us about her trip. “Dad’s new girlfriend is actually really nice,” she said with a quick, apologetic glance toward her mom.
Aunt Carrie looked more comforted than offended, however.
“They were on vacation from work so we were able to do the rock-climbing after all. And yesterday we went shopping and I got these.” She lifted a curtain of blond hair and showed us her earlobes, which were home to a pair of dangly, yellow gold earrings with multicolored stones.
“They’re gorgeous,” I said from my spot in the backseat. It was true. They were beautiful, and so unlike the simple studs and hoops Harper usually wore. They were the kind of earrings I liked, flashy and noticeable. “Did your dad get them for you?”
She nodded, glancing again at her mom as she dropped her hair back over her ears. Aunt Carrie’s face remained passive, but a slight thinning of her lips betrayed the irritation she worked so hard to hide. Lawrence often tried to buy Harper’s affections, but never extravagantly. He must have really wanted to impress the new girlfriend.
When we reached the city center, Aunt Carrie asked me if I wanted to drop by my condo for a minute, but I declined. There was nothing in there I needed and truthfully, I just wanted to get back to the lake as soon as possible. Being home made me think about Shay, and thinking about Shay made me dread my upcoming tell-all conversation with my cousin. Would she scream at me like Shay had? Quit speaking to me? Ignore me whenever I tried to make amends? I wasn’t sure if I could handle a second round of that.
Then I thought of sitting on my dock with Emmett as we watched the first rays of sunshine in days peek through the clouds, and I knew I had no choice.
“Did I miss anything exciting while I was away?” Harper asked me during dinner an hour and a half later.
Dad had shown up at the restaurant late, having gone home to change out of his suit first. He was picking wearily through his Thai barbecue chicken, looking exhausted and slightly disappointed that Pop hadn’t come with us.
“Not really,” I replied, popping a California roll into my mouth so I wouldn’t have to elaborate. God, I’d missed sushi. The only sushi to be found in Erwin was the packaged kind in the supermarket deli, which I feared might kill me if I ate it.
“So what did you do all week?”
Instead of answering, I shrugged and shoved another roll in my mouth. I couldn’t talk about it over dinner in a busy restaurant with our parents present. I couldn’t tell her about the countless hours I’d spent with Emmett, kissing him, observing him, getting to know him. I couldn’t share the things I’d discovered about him, like that his beloved dog died of old age two years ago and he didn’t have the heart to get a new one, or that his childhood best friend’s name was Joel, or that he acted like two different people around his parents—sweet and solicitous with his mom, short and indifferent with his dad. I couldn’t describe the way his hair changed color depending which way the light hit it, or the scuff of his jaw against my skin, or how his breath hitched whenever my lips found the sensitive spot beneath his ear.
And I definitely couldn’t tell her about my feelings for him, how they expanded by the day and were unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. That, more than anything, would be the hardest to confess.
My dads’ second big barbecue of the summer took place the next day, and everyone they’d invited showed up. Well, almost everyone.
“Excuse me,” I said to Mr. and Mrs. Schaefer, who’d been regaling me with an amusing anecdote about their greyhound, Benson, who was stretched out on the lawn a few feet away. A childless forty-something couple, they owned the cottage on the other side of Harper’s and only came out on weekends.
“Sorry,” I added when they stared at me, taken aback by my sudden disruption. “I just have to—” I motioned behind me at the convergence of neighbors in our yard, vaguely indicating that I had other things to attend to. In truth, I had just spotted Emmett emerging from the woods.
“Of course,” Mrs. Schaefer said, waving a hand to dismiss me.
I gave them an apologetic smile and headed toward Emmett. Seeing me, he paused at the periphery of the yard and glanced around. His gaze landed on the deck, where I knew Harper was currently located, and then flickered back to me, questioning. I shook my head. No, I replied with my eyes. I haven’t told her about us yet. His expression darkened slightly, and I felt the urge to defend myself. It wasn’t that I was stalling, exactly. I just hadn’t had a chance to bring it up. She’d gone straight to her cottage when we got back last night, and this morning she was at soccer practice. I couldn’t very well break the news to her in the middle of a party.
“Hey.” I reached him, careful to keep a respectable distance between us, even though I longed to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hello, like I’d done all last week.
“You haven’t told her?” he confirmed. His eyes locked on mine, softening in a way that let me know he wanted to kiss me, too.
“Not yet.” When I explained why, his expression lightened again, but not all the way. He seemed distracted. “Where’s your mom?” I asked as we crossed the yard.
“She couldn’t make it.”
“Why not?” I’d invited Mrs. Reese myself on Wednesday, and she’d happily accepted. She jumped on any excuse to hang out with my dads and aunt.
“She just couldn’t.”
I stopped walking and seized his forearm, not caring who was watching. Something was going on. “Emmett,” I said softly. “Tell me why.”
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, not meeting my eyes. “She and my dad had a huge fight this morning.”
I nodded. His parents’ arguing wasn’t exactly groundbreaking news.
“The worst one yet,” he went on, the words halting.
“What was it about?”
He focused on my face again. “Your father.”
Confused, I peered over his shoulder at the deck, where Dad was manning the grill while chatting with Dr. McCurdy. Harper was deep in conversation with Mrs. McCurdy at the patio table, their backs to us. She either didn’t know Emmett was there, or was ignoring him in an attempt to stay true to her “I’m over him” declaration. She was also ignoring Nate, who’d been trying to get her attention for the past half hour.
“Dad?” I said to Emmett. “Why would they fight about him?”
“From what I gathered after listening to them yell at each other for an hour, they bumped into him in town last weekend and—well, you know how affectionate my mom is.”
I nodded again. Mrs. Reese was like me, a toucher. Effusive.
“Anyway,” Emmett continued, looking aggrieved. “My dad thought they acted a little too friendly with each other. I’ve mentioned before how paranoid he can be. He accused her of . . .” His sentence trailed off like it literally pained him to finish it. “God, it’s so ridiculous, I don’t even want to say it.”
All I could do was stare at him with my mouth hanging open. “My father is gay,” I said after a few moments. “He has a husband.” Even as I said it, though, I could understand a tiny bit why a certain type of guy might feel threatened by a tall, built, handsome, utterly masculine man acting chummy with his wife, even if the man in question wasn’t into women. Illogical, but not entirely crazy.
“Yeah, my dad knows that. Like I said, it’s ridiculous.” Emmett sighed again, wearily. “He freaked out this morning when she mentioned the barbecue, so she told him she wouldn’t go just to shut him up. She’s going to call your dads later to apologize.”
I shook my head. “That’s insane.”
“I know. I’m sorry you have to deal with my messed up parents.”
“I’m sorry you do.”
He reached up to stroke my face but I stepped back just in time, almost colliding with a lawn chair. Frowning, Emmett dropped his hand and tossed a glance over his shoulder. Harper was watching us, an inscrutable expression on her face. When she saw us looking at her, she lifted her hand in a small wave.
“This sucks,” Emmett said under his breath as he turned back to me. “I can’t even touch you.”
“Just until I tell her,” I assured him. My stomach lurched as if protesting the two glasses of lemonade I’d put in it earlier.
“And when will that be?”
“Soon.” I slipped past him, gesturing for him to follow me up to the deck.
Instead, he turned toward the wide stretch of yard near the driveway where Nate and his brothers were tossing around a football. Apparently, Nate had given up on his pursuit of Harper. That she still hadn’t forgiven him for something that happened weeks ago didn’t exactly bode well for Emmett and me.
“I’ll be over there,” Emmett told me before heading in Nate’s direction.
Nate seemed surprised to see him coming. They hadn’t exactly gotten off on the right foot at the beginning of summer, and never did get around to becoming friends. Still, I guess even hanging out with McTurdy was preferable to being with me and pretending.
I spent the rest of the evening with Harper, eating and talking and watching the guys horse around on the grass. We talked about her trip, and soccer, and how big the moon looked . . . everything but what we should’ve been discussing. What we needed to discuss, and soon. I’d had a million opportunities to say the words, coax them from their hiding spot at the back of my throat, but they refused to surface.
Harper had returned to the lake brimming with renewed hope. She was happy. Almost confident. She deserved to enjoy the feeling for at least one more night before I came along and ripped it away.