Pushing up his hat, Tex swiped at his sweaty brow with his sleeve. His side didn’t ache as much today, in spite of driving the plow and team for the last few hours, thanks to Ravena’s poultice last night. But he could still tell he wasn’t completely back to full health. There’d been a time when half a day of regular farm work hadn’t worked up this much sweat and exhaustion in him.
He lifted the reins of the horses to start them moving again when he caught sight of Ravena walking toward him. The sight of a covered dish and a canteen in her hands prompted a tired smile. It must be time for lunch. The horses could use another rest too. Ducking into the shade of a nearby tree, Tex removed his hat and waited for her approach.
“You’re almost done,” Ravena commented as she came to a stop beside him. “Only one more field to plow.”
“Then it’s on to spring planting.”
She nodded. “Here’s your lunch and some water.”
“Thanks.” Tex accepted the canteen from her before downing a throatful of the cool liquid. Brushing the lingering moisture from his mouth, he took a seat on the ground and settled the covered dish on his knee. “Did you eat already?”
“Yes.” He expected her to leave, to retreat to the house, but instead she lingered.
“Care to sit for a spell?” he asked, patting the dirt next to him.
Her upper lip pressed in on the bottom one, but after a moment, she took a seat next to him on the ground. “It’s rather warm today.” She lifted her long dark hair off her neck and shut her eyes.
Tex uncovered his lunch, but he couldn’t help glancing at her once, then twice. Light and shadow chased each other across her face and the slight breeze ruffled the hair along her cheekbones. He’d always thought her pretty—inside and out. Even when they’d been younger. And yet there was a graceful, sophisticated quality to her beauty now that hadn’t been there eight years ago.
Looking away, he bit into one of the hard boiled eggs she’d made him. “So how long have these kids been with you?” he asked after swallowing.
Ravena leaned against the tree trunk. “Let’s see. Mark and Luke came to the farm two years ago. Jacob and Fanny have only been here six months, and Ginny has lived here a year.”
“She doesn’t say much, does she?”
A slight frown pulled at her mouth as she shook her head. “No, she doesn’t. She used to have awful nightmares, though they aren’t as frequent now. I don’t know what happened to her and she’s not saying, but I hate the thought of anyone mistreating her. She’s such a good girl, very smart and respectful. She’s a real help to me in the kitchen. And I will say, the quiet makes it downright peaceful when we’re cooking together while the others do their chores.”
Tex took another bite and swallowed. “Now Fanny on the other hand...”
“Can talk a streak when she wants to, I know.” Ravena gave a light laugh. “And then Mark and Luke are double the trouble sometimes.”
“Reminds me of two other boys who used to live around here.”
She shot him guarded look, but it soon relaxed into a smile. “I’ve thought the same. Although, unlike Tate, Mark is more the instigator of the fun.”
“That would not be Tate.” Tex smirked. “He was usually wound tighter than a spool of thread and as humorous as a porcupine.” It was the wrong thing to say. He saw it at once in the way Ravena’s shoulders stiffened.
She scooted a few inches away from him, putting more distance between them. “Please don’t speak ill of him, Tex. I know things were strained between the two of you at the end. But he’s done far more to help me than you may know.”
His gut twisted with apprehension—and jealousy, if he was honest with himself. “What do you mean by that?” he asked, far more casually than he felt. Had his brother come back to see Ravena?
Plucking up one tiny flower and then another, she began plaiting them together. Tex remembered how she’d done that as a girl. Then insisted he or Tate or both of them wear her homemade “crowns.” Tex and his brother would protest at first, but eventually they’d give in to Ravena’s big, pleading eyes. “Before he left for good, he came to apologize. For what he felt was his part in...in that night.”
So Tate had apologized to Ravena? Well, Tex was glad to hear it. Although his brother hadn’t seen fit to apologize to him too. And did you? his conscience prodded. Tex frowned. What about this place was nudging his inner moral compass to start yapping at him again?
“He’s also sent me money through the years,” Ravena added, her tone full of gratitude.
Tex choked on his next bite and hurried to wash it down with water from the canteen. Why did Ravena think Tate had been the one to send her money? Unless perhaps his twin had been mailing her cash too.
“That’s awfully generous,” he remarked. “Did he send it in a letter or something?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s never been a return address, though most of the postal marks have been from Texas. Just a plain envelope with a little money inside. It helped us pull through more than once.”
At her words, Tex felt like he could breathe again. She was describing the envelopes he’d mailed her, which meant the little bit of money coming to the farm was from him. Not Tate. Why then did Ravena suspect his twin of the generosity and not him?
“You sweet on him again like you were when you were fifteen?” he asked before downing more water. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer, and yet, he needed to know.
There’d been a time before Tex had won Ravena’s heart completely when she’d been sure she was smitten with Tate. As for Tate, he’d been awfully interested in her himself—though he hadn’t been very good at showing it. Mixed signals and hurt feelings had ended Ravena’s fascination back then, and Tex had been careful to make sure he was there to step in. But when he was gone, perhaps those old feelings had sprung up once more.
Storm clouds flashed in her dark brown eyes, making him wince inwardly. “That is no longer any of your business, Tex.”
Remorse coursed through him. It was another emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time. “I only meant—”
“I know what you meant,” she snapped. “And no, I’m not sweet on him like I was then. Although...” She dropped her flower chain to the ground and lifted her dress-clad knees. “You ought to know that I did ask him before he left if he thought we could try again.” She leveled Tex with a stern look as if daring him to challenge such a decision. He kept his mouth shut. “But Tate said no.”
Tex shifted uneasily on the ground, wishing he’d never brought up his brother. This conversation was pushing him down a rocky path he wasn’t comfortable traversing, now or maybe ever.
Still he felt compelled to ask, “Did Tate give you a reason?”
It was Ravena’s turn to appear ill at ease. “He said he didn’t think he and I could have what you and I once did.” The truth behind his brother’s admission clouded the air between them with thick silence.
Tex tried to think of some way to lighten it, but he came up empty. Anything he said would likely anger her further or prompt her to dig even deeper into the past—and Tex couldn’t abide either.
Thankfully Ravena spoke first. “I’m grateful for your help with the plowing. We’ll be spring planting much sooner than I’d thought after that last hired hand quit.”
“You’re welcome.” Tex wrapped up the rest of his lunch to save for later. He wasn’t sure how much more he could stomach, of the food or this conversation. “I guess you can take the boy from the farm but not the farm out of the boy, huh?”
A light laugh accompanied his weak joke. “Is that what you did all of these years? Farming?” Why did she sound less curious and more suspicious?
Despite the temperate day and his earlier exertion, a sudden shiver rocked through him. “Uh, no,” he said, putting his hat back on and standing. He hoped his vague answer would head off the dangerous turn to their conversation.
Ravena stood as well, but she didn’t make a move to leave or stop talking. “I suppose I’m not entirely surprised. You never did love farming in the same way Tate did.”
He shot her a thin smile of agreement.
“So if you weren’t farming, what were you doing these last eight years?”
Ice-cold panic gripped his throat, cutting off any words. Ravena couldn’t learn of his outlawing career. At least not until he was far away from here. Even then, he didn’t like to think of her hating him once she found out.
Tex coughed to clear his throat of the fear. “I drifted here and there.” Which was true. “Didn’t ever really settle in one place for long.”
She studied him a moment, which only increased his uneasiness. “That sounds rather lonely, even for a bachelor.”
Feigning an indifferent shrug, he stepped toward the horses. “It was a nice way to see places I never would’ve seen otherwise.” Another truth. “Thanks again for the lunch, Ravena. Better get back to plowing the field. It isn’t going to do it on its own.” His laugh sounded wholly forced, even to himself.
Her brow pinched together, but he walked away to escape seeing any more of her reaction. Avoid conversations about the past, he told himself, as he gathered the reins once more and urged the horses to walk on. It was the only way to stick around and not reveal the truth.
* * *
She’d made it through another awkward conversation with Tex. Ravena wanted to shout the victory to the world. Instead she decided to celebrate by walking down the road to meet the children coming home from school. It was a luxury she hadn’t been able to afford while she’d played nursemaid, run the farm, and tried to finish the plowing all on her own. But now with Tex’s help...
That help still comes with a price. She’d do well to remember that.
Things were far from simple with Tex around. She hadn’t intended to bring up Tate or question Tex about the past either, but the words had slipped largely unbidden from her lips.
There were still things she didn’t understand about Tex—why he’d felt he hadn’t deserved her or what exactly he’d been doing as he’d wandered from one place to another. She didn’t think a drifter would have as much money as she’d seen inside his saddlebag. And yet, the more she poked at the past, the more she was liable to get hurt again.
She folded her arms against a sudden shiver, though the sun warmed the dirt road in front and behind her. Maybe holding back any more questions about the past was the smarter course of action.
Shading her eyes, she smiled as she saw the children come tromping up the road. She’d given up her girlhood dreams of marrying and having a family of her own, and yet, she loved these orphans every bit as much as she imagined she would have any children she might have birthed herself.
As usual Mark was in the lead followed closely by Luke. Ginny took up the middle, while Jacob hung back with his sister to accommodate Fanny’s shorter steps.
“Miss Ravena,” Mark hollered with a vigorous wave when he saw her. She waved back.
“How was school?” she asked as the group drew closer.
As usual all of them began talking at once, with the exception of Ginny. Ravena shook her head with a laugh, realizing her own foolishness in asking a question they would all wish to answer. “Let’s start with Fanny, since she’s the youngest, and everyone can have a turn.”
Fanny grinned and began chattering about recess and eating lunch outside. Then each of the other children took their turns, regaling Ravena with experiences from the day. Even Ginny proudly announced she’d been the only one in her grade to get all of the spelling words correct.
After everyone had a chance to share, Mark, Ginny, Fanny and Jacob hurried toward the house, eager for a slice of the bread she told them was waiting. Luke hung back though, to Ravena’s surprise. He was rarely far from Mark’s side.
“What is it, Luke?”
He slipped his hand into hers in a spontanteous show of affection, and Ravena’s heart swelled. “I have to bring something to school on Monday to show the class.”
“Ah. And what do you want to bring?”
Kicking at a rock with the toe of his shoe, he shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to bring something really neat though, Miss Ravena. ’Cause Ollie in my grade, he keeps saying I don’t have anything neat ’cause I’m an orphan.”
Ravena squeezed his hand and bit back an unkind remark about Ollie. “Are you sad about what he said?”
Luke’s thin shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Naw. Just mad.”
“I think I’d feel mad too,” she pretended to confide in a loud whisper, coaxing a small smile from Luke. “Do you think Ollie’s right? That you don’t have anything neat?”
The boy’s face scrunched in thought. “No. ’Cause I got you and Mark and Ginny and Fanny and Jacob. And Mr. Beckett now too.”
Ravena nodded in agreement. “That’s a good list.”
Suddenly Luke tugged her to a stop. “Do you think Mr. Beckett would be my thing to share with the class?”
She pressed her lips over a laugh when she realized he was in earnest. “That would be very neat, Luke. But I don’t think Mr. Beckett will be able to stop plowing to come to school.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But that’s too bad. ’Cause he’s nice and he’s funny.”
They started walking again, but his words kept circling through Ravena’s mind. Luke’s admiration for Tex wasn’t unique. She’d seen how all of the children had warmed to him, more so than to either of the hired hands she’d employed. Of course the other two had kept mostly to themselves, insisting on sleeping in the extra room off the barn and eating alone. Tex was the first to ingratiate himself into their makeshift family.
Which, she thought, looking at Luke again, could be good. With her grandfather gone, it might be nice for the boys especially to have a grown man about the place to look up to. Even if it would only be for a few weeks.
“I’m sure you’ll think of something neat to bring,” she said as they neared the porch. “And Luke...” She waited for him to stop and look at her. Crouching down, she released his hand to put hers on his shoulder. “I agree with you. Ollie isn’t right. You have people in your life who love you very much. And you know what?”
He shook his head, his large brown eyes somber. “What?”
“I became an orphan when I was about your age.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat when she thought of all the people she’d lost—her parents, her grandmother, Tate, her grandfather and Tex, the man she’d loved with all of her heart back then. She knew what it meant to feel different, even if she’d had grandparents who’d stepped in to raise her. “I’m familiar with the Ollies of this world and what they say. But we know the truth about us and what we have, don’t we?”
Luke’s expression brightened. “We sure do, Miss Ravena. Now I’m going to get some bread.” He darted onto the porch as she rose to her feet, then he spun back. “You don’t have to be mad or sad about being an orphan either. ’Cause you got neat people too. Me and Mark and Jacob and Ginny and Fanny and Mr. Beckett.”
Ravena offered him an encouraging smile, though she didn’t feel quite so confident about including the last person on her list. “Thank you, Luke.”
She did have much to be grateful for, including Tex’s help. Beyond that, she would simply have to hold out hope that all of Luke’s words would prove true—that having Tex back in her life would be a good thing.
* * *
“Mr. Beckett! Mr. Beckett!”
Tex glanced over his shoulder to see Mark and Luke racing toward him. School must have concluded for the day. He grinned at the thought of someone to talk to. Plowing the field had left him with little else to do but think. And that was something he didn’t want to do, especially after his conversation with Ravena at lunch.
He faced forward again as the boys ran into view. “How was schoo—” The question hadn’t fully exited his mouth when the horses suddenly reared in fright. Tex was jerked forward by their abrupt movement, but he managed to keep the reins in his grip.
“What in the world...” he muttered as the team danced nervously.
“Look what we caught just now,” Mark hollered as he hoisted a snake in the air.
The boy’s loud cry and the dangling reptile spooked the horses again. They charged forward, dragging Tex along at a jog.
“Get that snake away from here,” he shouted, hoping the boys would be quick to comply.
He let the horses have their heads for half the field, then he pulled back on the reins. After a minute or so, the team came to a stuttering halt. Tex released the reins and flexed his burning fingers within his gloves. Circling in front of the horses, he rubbed their heads and spoke in soothing tones until they’d both calmed.
Deciding to call it a day after their ordeal, he unhitched the pair from the plow and led them to the barn. Mark and Luke were nowhere in sight. Tex brushed and fed the two horses, taking extra time and care with each.
As he finished up, he saw two flashes of blond hair outside the barn doors. “Mark?” he called. “Luke? Can you come here?”
The boys didn’t appear immediately, but after a long moment, they slunk inside. “Are you gonna leave now?” Mark asked without looking up.
Tex stared at them in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Mr. Grady up and left after we spooked the horses last time.”
Understanding flooded his thoughts. “This isn’t the first time you’ve brought a snake around the horses, is it?”
Both boys shook their heads, their chins tipped low.
After locating an empty milk bucket, Tex turned it over and sat down. “We need to talk.”
The brothers inched forward in tandem as if headed to the executioner’s block. Tex suppressed a chuckle. He wasn’t going to rant at them, but they needed to understand the seriousness of their actions. “Boys, do you understand how dangerous it is to bring a snake around a team of horses?”
Mark nodded solemnly and Luke copied the gesture, but Tex guessed they didn’t fully grasp what he was asking. Otherwise they would’ve stopped the last time.
“Mark,” he said, trying a different tactic, “is there anything you’re scared of?”
“No sir, Mr. Beckett,” the boy blurted out, then he ducked his head again. “Well, maybe one thing.”
“And what’s that?”
Mark toed the dirt. “I never did like that old goose we had when me and Luke still lived with our parents before they died.”
A measure of sadness filled him at the boy’s words. While Tex and Tate had been adults when their mother died, they hadn’t been much older than Mark was now when their father had up and abandoned the family. Tex swallowed back the bite of grief and anger such memories provoked. “Did the goose ever chase you?”
“All the time,” Luke piped up.
“Is that what you’re scared of too, Luke?”
Mark shook his head. “Nah. He don’t like spiders.”
“I’ve been known to get the shivers around attacking geese and large spiders myself,” Tex said gravely. “So tell me this. What would you do if say Jacob came and found you and wanted to show you a big fat goose or a spider?”
Luke’s eyes widened, but it was Mark who protested aloud. “I’d run away so it wouldn’t get me.”
“I agree.” He turned to look at the younger brother. “Is that what you’d do, Luke?”
“Uh-huh.”
Tex placed a firm but gentle hand on each of their shoulders. “Want to know something?” He dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Did you know horses are as afraid of snakes as you are of geese or spiders?”
Mark frowned. “But they’re way bigger than a little ol’ snake.”
“And you and me are way bigger than a little ol’ spider or even a grown goose.” He let his words hang there a moment before he continued. “Just like you wouldn’t stand there gawking at something you’re afraid of, the horses don’t want to stick around either. And when they bolt they can hurt themselves or someone else.”
“Like you, Mr. Beckett?” Luke asked.
Tex dipped his head again. “Me or you or even someone small like Fanny. A frightened horse team is a dangerous thing.” Releasing his grip, he rested his elbows on his knees and leveled each boy with a stern look. “Which is why I’m going to ask you to promise me and Miss Ravena that you won’t bring any more snakes around the horses. Will you promise us that?”
“Yes,” the brothers said together, their gazes on the ground.
Standing, he nudged them both toward the barn doors. “Let’s go share your promise with Miss Ravena then.”
“So you aren’t leaving?” Luke’s expression appeared full of hope and trepidation. It cut straight through Tex’s heart.
He cleared his throat of emotion. “No, I’m not leaving yet.”
Tex guided them toward the house, passing Jacob in the yard as the older boy headed to the barn to milk the cow. Inside the kitchen, Ravena and the girls were preparing supper. “You’re done for the day?” she asked, glancing up.
“Yes. And the boys have something to say.”
She paused, searching the brothers’ faces. “Mark? Luke?”
Mark glanced up at Tex and he nodded for the boy to speak. “It was for Luke, see. For him to show the class on his sharing day.”
“Yep,” Luke said glumly.
“What was for Luke?” Ravena asked, sounding resigned, as if she knew she wouldn’t like the answer.
“We found another snake and wanted to show Mr. Beckett...” Mark explained.
Shutting her eyes, Ravena visibly blew out a breath. “Did they spook the horses again?” she asked Tex as she opened her eyes. “Boys, we’ve talked about this.”
“We won’t do it again, Miss Ravena. Honest.” Mark pointed his thumb at Tex. “We promised Mr. Beckett that we wouldn’t.”
“I told them they needed to make that same promise to you,” Tex added. Something flickered through her gaze, but he couldn’t identify the emotion. Was she thinking of other promises made and broken?
Luke took up the thread of conversation. “We won’t bring any more snakes around the horses. ’Cause even if they’re big they don’t like ’em any more than me and Mark don’t like that old goose or a big, ugly spider.”
Ravena threw Tex a perplexed look and he couldn’t help chuckling. “Let’s just say I attempted to put things into perspective for them.”
“Thank you,” she said with evident sincerity before turning her focus back to the boys. “Remember what the consequence is for bringing another snake around the horses?”
“Yes, Miss Ravena,” they intoned in gloomy unison.
“In addition to mucking the stalls for a week...” She motioned to the table where Tex noticed a lovely, golden pie. “There will also be no pie for either of you after supper tonight.”
The boys groaned loudly with regret, but they made no further complaint. Tex hoped his little talk in the barn, a week of mucking stalls and the forgoing of Ravena’s delicious pie would be enough to convince them to change their behavior.
“What’ll I bring to show the class on Monday, Mr. Beckett?” Luke regarded him sadly. “’Cause it’s real important I have something neat to bring.”
The way the boy was looking up at him as if he had all the answers did something funny to Tex’s lungs. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation either and one he felt certain he’d experienced in the past.
Maybe it was a feeling of being needed. No one had needed him in years and he had to admit it felt real nice not to solely be looking out for himself at present. “I’ve got an idea, Luke. Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
With that he headed for the stairs, feeling lighter and more agile than he had in days.