“Miss Ravena, Miss Ravena!”
Small hands pushed at her shoulder, but she didn’t want to wake. Just a few more minutes of sleep. She’d stayed up far later than usual to help Tex finish plastering the inside walls of the new house and then she’d rested on the floor for a moment...
Ravena sat up in confusion. How had she come to be in her bed inside her room? Luke and Fanny each grabbed one of her hands and began tugging her forward.
“You gotta come see,” Luke said.
She allowed them to pull her up and out of bed. She still wore her work dress from yesterday and there were splotches of plaster on her hands. “What is it?” she asked, yawning. “Have you had breakfast?”
“Mr. Beckett made us eggs,” Fanny announced proudly.
“But that isn’t what you gotta see.” Luke released her hand to rush toward the door, motioning for her and Fanny to follow.
Ravena brushed out some of the tangles in her hair with her free hand. “What am I coming to see, Fanny?”
The little girl shook her head and grinned. “It’s a surprise. That’s what Mr. Beckett said.”
I’m sure he did, Ravena thought ruefully as she and Fanny headed down the stairs and out onto the porch. Luke kept his lead ahead of them.
The man of surprises met them as she and Fanny started across the yard. “Morning,” Tex called, his expression every bit as excited as the children’s. Ravena wondered what time he’d fallen onto the parlor sofa to sleep.
“Good morning. I heard you made breakfast.” She’d slept later than she had in years, judging by the sunlight and it felt rather wonderful. “Thank you,” she added, sincerely.
His blue eyes seemed even brighter today. “You’re welcome. We saved you some, but first I need you to come with me. There’s something you need to see before the children go to school.”
“All right. Is it something in the new house?”
“It is the—”
Luke’s words were cut off when Tex good-naturedly clapped a hand over the boy’s mouth. “You’ll see.” He released Luke with a knowing smile, then turned to Ravena. “Your eyes need to be closed, though.”
She lifted an eyebrow at him. “Closed?”
Coming around behind her, he settled one hand over her eyes and cradled her to his side with the other. “Is she peeking, Fanny?”
The girl giggled. “No, Mr. Beckett.”
“Good,” he said near Ravena’s ear. “Now just walk slowly in the direction of the new house. I promise not to let you trip or run into anything.”
His nearness and the low quality of his voice made her pulse speed up, even as she began moving in tandem with his measured footsteps.
“Do you know how I came to be in my room last night?” she asked as they shuffled along. “The last thing I remember was taking a short rest on the floor.”
Tex’s chuckle stroked her cheek. “After that short rest, I couldn’t rouse you. So I carried you to your room.”
The realization she’d unknowingly been in his arms caused her to blush. But it wasn’t out of embarrassment alone. Ravena wished she’d been awake. She very much enjoyed being carried by him. “When did you go to sleep?”
There was a pause as if he were trying to remember. “My pocket watch indicated it was three o’clock.”
“Three o’clock?” She stumbled in her surprise, but true to his word, Tex steadied her. “If you were up in time to make breakfast, that means you’ve only had a few hours of sleep.”
“Ravena,” he said huskily, causing the skin by her ear to tingle, “I’ll be fine. But you have a long journey ahead of you today to bring those four boys here.”
“Yes. If the house is done.”
Tex stopped her. “Let’s go see. We’re going up the steps now.” She allowed him to guide her onto the porch, away from the sun’s early morning rays and into the new house. The children were talking and moving about nearby.
“Can I see it now?” she asked with as much exasperation as excitement.
His warm laughter washed over her. “A mite impatient, aren’t we?”
“Tex!”
“All right. All right.” She could hear his grin. “On the count of three,” he directed the children. A chorus of voices counted, “One...two...three.”
“Welcome to your new home, Ravena,” he said, an unmistakable note of tenderness in his voice, as he removed his hand from over her eyes.
Ravena blinked, then her gaze went to the white plastered walls of what would be their new, larger parlor and to the children standing there, all eagerly watching her reaction. “It’s absolutely beautiful. Just as Grandfather would have wanted.”
Mark let out a whoop and the children scattered, some toward the kitchen and others upstairs.
“You finished the rest of the plastering yourself?” She turned to look at Tex.
He shrugged, but she could see his pleasure at her astonishment. “After everyone’s help yesterday, there wasn’t much left to do.” He extended his hand to her. “Want to see the upstairs?”
Nodding, she slipped her hand into his and felt a moment’s wish that things could remain just as they were right now. Tex led her up the stairs and into each of the six, large bedrooms that would be for the children. Mark and Luke had already claimed theirs.
“The glass still needs to be picked up and placed in all of the windows,” Tex explained as they walked down the hall to the seventh and final bedroom. Her grandfather had ordered and paid for all of the window glass, but it was still sitting at the mercantile in town. “The outside walls need to be whitewashed, and the indoor plumbing put in by someone who knows how. But once the furniture is all moved over from the old house, it’ll be livable.”
Ravena shook her head. “I can’t believe it’s practically done.”
Pushing open the last door, he released her to let her move past him into what would be her bedroom. This room hadn’t been whitewashed before she’d fallen asleep.
“It looks amazing...” Her compliment faded to silence when she caught sight of something sitting on the windowsill that hadn’t been there the night before. “What’s this?” she asked, crossing the room. Ravena picked up the object and realized it was the bird she’d seen Tex carving several weeks earlier.
She ran her fingertip over the tiny carved feathers of the wings. “Tex, this is incredible.”
“It’s a raven.” He walked over and stopped in front of her.
Lifting her chin, she gazed up at him, her heart resuming its earlier rapidity. He knew the story of how her parents had come to name her “Ravena” because of her raven-black hair. But was there more behind his choosing this creature to carve? “Why a raven? Why not a different bird?”
“Because a different bird doesn’t remind me of you.” The intensity in his blue eyes made it more and more difficult to draw a full breath.
“I remind you of a bird?” she countered, half teasing. If she kept things light, as Tex usually did, then she wouldn’t have to acknowledge the emotion his closeness or his gift inspired. Emotion she wasn’t sure she wanted to examine—not when he was leaving for good tomorrow.
His half smile seemed to suggest he knew what she was doing. “I’ve always thought of you whenever I see a raven.” His fingers brushed wisps of her hair from her cheek, warming it as surely as the blush she felt there. “They remind me of your black hair and eyes.” He softly ran his thumb over her right eyelid. “They remind me of your compassion and loyalty too. Like in the story with Elijah when the ravens bring him food and help save his life.”
Tex cupped her face between his hands then, his fingers tangling in her hair. “How many times have you saved my life, Ravena—or given me something worth living for? First when we were kids and my father left. Then when my mother died. And again when I came back here, shot and bleeding.” He cleared his throat as his expression grew more somber, almost pleading. “Why do you keep saving me?” The last question hardly made a sound in the empty room.
Tears filled her throat and pressed hard behind her eyes, but Ravena willed them back. “Because you are worth saving, Tex Beckett.”
His gaze widened in surprise before dropping to her lips. Ravena held her breath. He was going to kiss her, for certain this time. Closing her eyes, she only had to wait a fraction of a second before Tex’s lips touched hers. The familiarity of his kiss filled her with the happiness of a thousand shared memories. And yet the newness of kissing him now, after all these years, sparked fresh delight and anticipation as if she were a girl of sixteen all over again.
Resting her hand on his shirt, Ravena kissed him back. And in that moment, the heartaches of the past and the uncertainty of their future fell away, forgotten. What mattered was Tex was still here and she was here and kissing him again felt like the most natural, most wonderful thing in the world.
He eased back after a minute or two, his eyes searching hers. “Ask me to stay longer, Ravena.”
“What?” she asked with a startled laugh.
“I don’t have to leave tomorrow. I can stay and help you, after you bring those boys back. I can even stay until harvest time.”
Shaking her head, she tried to make sense of his words. “But you said you couldn’t stay. You had to go. You’ve already proven you’re not your father, Tex. You don’t have to prove anything else to anyone.”
His thumbs caressed her face. “I wouldn’t stay to prove something.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’d stay because I want to.”
She didn’t quite dare believe his declaration. “But...”
“I’ll stay in the old house or in the room off the barn, if that will make it more proper and ward off any gossip.”
Sharp hope beat in time with her heart, making her feel lightheaded. Did he really mean what he was saying? “What made you change your mind?” She needed to know, to have everything laid out.
Tex lowered his hands to her shoulders. “You helped change my mind all these weeks I’ve been here. And something the pastor said on Sunday helped too.”
“Ah. The infamous pastor.” She shot him a smile, thinking again how thrilling it had been when she’d realized Tex was a little jealous of the other man’s perceived attentions toward her.
He kissed her quickly. “Yes, that pastor.” His demeanor grew serious again. “I’m done making choices out of fear. And I’m done running. I want to stay put.”
Ravena wet her lips, feeling her own fears creeping in. Could she fully trust him to keep his word this time? And if she could, did she want to remain just friends?
She knew the answer at once. Given more time, she knew she’d want more from their relationship than friendship. But Tex had to want that too. His kisses today were evidence that he might wish for something deeper, and more permanent, between them, but he might change his mind again in another few months.
“What happens with us?” She hated the feeling of vulnerability that came with asking such a question, and yet, she wanted no more surprises. She’d lived with his abrupt disappearance from her life once before; she wouldn’t willingly go through that a second time.
Tex regarded her without a trace of amusement or teasing. “I want to be in your life, Ravena. Now and always. If all you’re willing to offer is friendship right now, then I’ll take that and wait. But you need to know, I’m holding out for more than that.” His earnestness was palpable. “I foolishly chose to let you go once. I don’t want to do that again.”
“You promise?” She could hardly believe he’d voiced the words she’d hoped for so long to hear from him.
“I promise.” His firm answer echoed in the room.
She peered deeply into his blue eyes, wanting so badly to trust him again. The sounds of the children playing outside floated up and through the window opening. It was time for them to go to school and for her and Jacob to head to Boise. “All right,” she said with a nod. “I accept your offer to stay.”
It was Tex’s turn to look taken aback. “You do?”
Letting her smile break through, she nodded. “Yes, Tex. I trust you to keep your word this time.” She glanced down at the smooth floorboards, feeling suddenly shy. “And if you’re willing to wait and stay in the old house once we move into this one, I’d like to see if we could be more than friends too.”
He clasped her to him and swung her around, making her laugh. She hadn’t felt this lighthearted in ages. “You’d better go,” he said when he set her back on her feet. “So you can reach Boise by this evening.”
“Will you be all right here?” she asked. He’d already agreed to watch over the other four children and the farm during her two-day absence.
Tex grasped her hand and brought it to his lips. “We’ll be fine. Ginny can help me with the cooking, and the boys can help with the chores.”
“And Fanny?” she prompted with a smile.
“Fanny can tag along and entertain us with the kittens.”
When they reached the stairs, she stopped him, his lovely bird carving still clutched inside her hand. “Thank you, Tex. For finishing the house and for being here so I can go get the others.”
His eyes softened right before he pressed another lingering kiss to her lips. “I’m glad it all worked out.”
And so was she. As she trailed him down the stairs, she couldn’t help offering a quick prayer that things would continue to work out—for the orphans, for the farm and, most of all, for her and Tex.
* * *
After seeing Ravena and Jacob off, Tex completed the morning chores, checked on the fields and saddled Brutus to ride into town. He wanted to have as much of the remaining projects on the new house completed as he could before Ravena returned the following evening. Not having a wagon posed a problem, but he would try to find someone willing to cart the window glass back to the farm. He was no longer afraid of someone recognizing him, not after the warm welcome he’d received while attending church.
The bright sunlight, shining down on him as he rode, suited his jovial mood. Today the surrounding hills, farms and fields struck him as beautiful in their familiarity. It was time to hang up his hat, so to speak. Because there was no other place on earth he wanted to be right now than here, with Ravena.
Recalling their kisses earlier, he smiled foolishly at himself. He had to admit he’d wanted to kiss her ever since his first night at the farm when he’d woken up and found her compassionately rebandaging his wound.
And now he was here to stay. Hopefully he could convince her that he’d already fallen in love with her a second time. But for now he’d accept her friendship and the adoration that frequently filled her dark eyes when she gazed at him, until Ravena was ready...to be his wife. He grinned, his chest expanding with the possibility. That’s what he wanted, more than anything. To marry her, to be a father to these children, and to stay put.
You can’t change that before coming here you were an outlaw. Tex frowned at the intrusive thought. Eventually he’d need to tell Ravena the truth about his past, but he could wait. He’d first let her see that he meant what he’d said about staying indefinitely. His outlawing days were over. No more heists, no more running, no more loneliness.
But his mind refused to let go of the familiar rut of self-denigration. Why did he think he deserved Ravena? You’re still a worthless no-account, who up and left everyone. The voice in his head sounded exactly like his father’s, the words echoing ones Tex himself had often said about the man.
Except he wasn’t a worthless no-account. Wasn’t he worth saving, as Ravena had declared, worth loving?
And if he was, then the same was true for his father.
The simple but powerful realization struck Tex so hard he stopped Brutus in the middle of the road. Thinking the worst about his father had only made it easier for him to think the worst about himself. They’d both made mistakes—big, painful mistakes. But he wanted to believe those mistakes didn’t make them worth less. And chances were, that’s what his father had wanted to believe about himself too.
“I’m sorry, Pa,” he whispered to the cloudless blue sky. He didn’t know if his father was dead or alive, but somehow voicing the words aloud eased the resentment he’d been holding on to for twenty years. “And most important, for me, I forgive you.”
He nudged his horse forward again, but he couldn’t maintain their earlier languid pace. Kneeing Brutus into a gallop, Tex let out a shout of joy. He felt less burdened than he ever had in his life. And he couldn’t wait to tell Ravena about it, after he surprised her with a completely finished house. His life had taken a new direction, had a new purpose now, and he couldn’t wait to see how it all unfolded.