Exiles

(for Marek Laczynski)

One the foreign woman

More than my life’s map

of notebooks and lost gloves

I know the moon’s other look.

I remember a hat rolling

and rolling. No name

no other detail swings

in that street’s wind.

Counting the steps to my room

in the damp house I glimpse

the fence and the roof

of my grandfather’s house.

Here I continually

open a drawer on the dust

trapped under newspaper.

I look through the glass

at an indifferent skyline.

I count the steps

in a strange house.

 

Two the return

Objects, clenched in their

separateness. Streetnames,

a park, the Jewish memorial.

In a place changed

out of my presence I find

known friends in strangers.

I remember I say, being

deceived, touching

the stopped door to a room

lit with child’s songs.

Dead streets, dead houses,

dead people. Here I walk

with my eyes turned away

not to see absences, blind windows.

 

Three the photograph

Face of Kafka, the camera

flattened old shadows that moved

in the eyes and mouthcorners.

How much of our lives is filed

in deep drawers, a red form

for my birth, a black for my death.

Documents, passports, the

European darkness is trapped

in the breath of officials –

jobs to do, quotas to fill.

As we learned when the shoes

were fetched up and counted

and the long graves were dug.

Out of that darkness ashes

and letters and photographs.

Stopped in a fragment

the shutter admitted

the curious look of a man.

The smile and the angle

of sunlight survive him.