Wind, cloud, rain gullied slopes.

Border country, lawless by habit,

nature, habitat, ungovernable.

Snores from the corner. Someone

scratching his itch. A ripe fart, a groan.

Oh for the blessing of sleep and forgetfulness.

Outside a nightbird, nightingale, robin?

They say in sleep we travel,

talking in another time.

Messages rise from the muck:

Lydia, please come to my birthday.

I send you Flavius a gift of woollen socks.

Part of the world’s mundane chatter

to itself. Men drinking after work,

embellishing stories that become legends.

Voices behind voices; behind each thought

the ghost of another thought, travellers

arriving with their dogs and sandwiches,

cameras, backpacks, their own preoccupations.

Ghosts, drifting through, out for the day, here

to say they’ve been and gone. By the south gate

a loud woman describing the dress from was it

C&A or M&S, or is or is not that out there

the 3rd cohort ala I Pannoniorum glittering

in the long sunlight over the fell side,

come to relieve us at last?

Me, I’d abandon this place

to the wild beasts howling all night

and the painted men skulking

in the bruised hills, the dumb

contradictory panorama of the north

from which cries come: Go home Rome.

By day by night I stare over the blank space

we call landscape, my share of the watch

my share of the world. Some days

a messenger, others a sulky sentry,

on a bad day skiving in the shithouse.

I make all sharp and bright burnished,

my watchword in whatever tongue, my password,

motto muttered in the wind’s mouth

                 don’t mess with me,

my chorus and my long refrain:

                 we’re here because we’re here because…

My brother is to be the man bride

of the evening star. Think of that.

It is a secret, a mystery among others.

My brother will be Miles the soldier

under Mars. He will kneel, naked,

blindfold, his hands’ bounds

cut at a stroke, he will step up

to be crowned and refuse the crown.

In this half lit theatre there will be

scorpion, raven, dog, snake,

the sun and the moon, brass, drumming.

He is crowned, then he is free,

he can see at last in so much smokey gloom,

declaring Mithras is my only crown.

Words put into the mouth of a god,

words that get men killed.

I praise the sun and the sun’s rays.

I praise all that lives and struggles,

and those that have power over water,

appearing at the crossing wearing

the armour of those to die that day.

So what can he see now that not before?

So what is he? – a soldier or a bird,

or does he think himself a god in feathers,

the corpse bird speaking from the other world

in all his colours that are all of them black?

He will be the sun runner, dressed

in the colours of fire and blood and the sun,

his cape the star map of the night sky,

his pointed cap, he will straddle the bull,

yanking his nostrils back, he will slit

the bull’s throat and scatter his blood

glittering like the constellations down the sky.

The raven says time for a new dispensation,

there is a wobble in the constellations,

a long slow shift among the stars

and therefore some shift in the complex

arrangements of the gods, therefore

the long war between the dark and the light,

between chaos and order, therefore war

and therefore men will die for this.

We’re here because.

Because.

Because the Wall.

Because because.

Because we do what we’re told.

Go where we’re sent.

Because the commandant.

Because the Emperor.

Because it’s here.

Because the government.

The government says so.

Because.

There would otherwise be barbary.

So we’re here because it’s here.

And it’s here because we’re here.

Because.

Iberia, Dacia, Pannonia, Gaul, Syria,

from the watery lands at the mouths

of the great rivers, some from Africa,

some from these parts, how I envy

that for them is no country of childhood

to long for, or I despise them this vacancy.

 

As well envy another man his prick.

Our lives a dice game in the crapper.

My world is not much though my life

is filled with it, its tune the same

over and over, quick march, halt,

at ease, attention, present arms,

in my head counting the arithmetic:

2 steps equals one pace, one mile

a thousand paces, a wall one sea

to the other sea. Mine is a world

all in the wind and the wings of birds,

their cries that foretell our deaths.

Of my own I think what women

and what offspring left behind.

There are limits not built of stone.

I am myself a wall, thick,

nothing gets through me. All the walls

have two sides, I could be on the other.

I could get lost and never found,

don’t mess with me, wandering

the boglands all my days and after

what life to remember, sent off

abruptly at a sharp edge, drowned

under hooves, choked, dumped in the midden,

forgot, chucked at last into the sharp yellow gorse.

Always in season.

So be it. So it goes. Here.

There’ll always be a big wall,

Big walls keep us free.

Without a wall there’d be bugger all at all,

There’d be nothing here but you and me.

I am that sort of man who bears all

to the last, happy when an old kettle

comes to the boil still, content

with my porridge and hard tack

and share of sour wine, in hopes to live on

with my limbs all in all the right places

and my eyes to see and my strength still,

25 years if I’m lucky enough,

a bit of land somewhere and sons

to work it, living my days out

still tight mouthed, weathered,

scarred, wearing the same tattoo:

don’t mess with me.

Scarp. Ditch. Crag. All the north

and the south of it, edge of empire,

blue cap of the sky, cloud splattered.

Sometimes the shadowlands

of the great mountains of mist

shuttering the hills, sliding over

my eye corners as I run, bearing

my message, sheep voicing

their complaints, bull braying

in so much weather. And all the birds.

Voices behind voices. Where was

my beginning, my eyes opening

to the foggy river banks, woods,

wide snakey water lands, glimpse

of my own stranger’s face

in the moonlit pool at midnight,

cries of the flayed ox, the stuck pig,

flogged horse, dogs hunting

along the horizon’s line, always?

I speak from the lost world of all the living.

I am someone becoming someone else,

I have a name somewhere about me.

I am muddy with others, a body

separating itself from the common grave.

I send you Flavius a gift of woollen socks.

I am in praise. Of the sun. Of the bear, the wolf, the deer.

I am in praise of the horned god that hunts them all.

I am in praise of all that breathes.