I REACTED instinctively, without a second thought for who this was and where we were. All I saw was a threat to my Ethan—my lover, my partner, the man I would protect with my very life if necessary. My training kicked in as I jumped to my feet and blocked Joe Junior’s throw. For a split second, I debated laying an uppercut on him he wouldn’t soon forget, but common sense prevailed, as well as the realization this was Ethan’s brother, not one of the criminal element we usually dealt with. Grabbing his wrist instead, I pushed him away from us, so hard he fell over backward, right on his ass. He sat where he landed, rubbing his wrist and looking up at me, disbelief written all over his face. A what-the-fuck-just-happened look.
I think everyone was staring at me now. I’d just let the damn cat out of the bag, even if they didn’t realize immediately what they’d witnessed. To hell with it. I was not about to let anyone harm Ethan. End of story.
Slow down, slow down.
Maybe the situation was salvageable. What if I did my damsel in distress impersonation? Think they might put my strength down to a sudden surge of adrenaline?
Before I could gather my thoughts and implement my plan, Ethan’s brother scrambled to his feet, and I couldn’t help but think how stupid he was if he intended to try again to hurt Ethan. I realized a split second too late that I was now his intended target. Luckily, Ethan caught on faster than I did, and interposed himself between us.
“Don’t you dare touch him!” Ethan growled. “Or you’ll answer to me.”
That just about did it right then and there. No putting that pussy back in the bag. I could only think of one thing worse….
“What’s going on here?” a deep voice rumbled from the hallway.
And that was it.
Everyone began to speak at once, a cacophony of accusations that flew about the room like verbal missiles.
“Silence!” Reverend Thorne thundered, and everyone fell still.
Ethan still stood protectively in front of me. Sarah had taken up a defensive position on Ethan’s other side. Joe Junior was still in front of us, looking suspiciously between Ethan and me. I noticed Heather in the doorway, arms folded, watching us as if we were performing a play for her benefit. I was more concerned for Ethan’s mother, who looked understandably upset. It couldn’t be easy to watch your children try to hurt one another, no matter who was at fault.
“Ethan, can you explain what’s going on between you and your brother?” the minister asked.
“Oh naturally, ask him first,” Joe Junior began, but a single glance from his father shut him up.
“I don’t know what his problem is,” Ethan said in a deceptively calm voice. He reached behind him as if searching for my hand, and I gave it to him. “He ran in here yelling about something, and he tried to hit me, and then he tried to hit Vinnie.”
“You would hit a woman?” Reverend Thorne’s voice rose with indignation.
“She’s not a woman. I mean, he’s not a woman,” Joey stumbled over his words. “He knocked me down. No woman could do that!”
“I could, if I tried,” Heather interjected, and I had to work hard not to snicker as Joe Junior turned beet red.
“And he said him!” Ethan’s brother pointed an accusatory finger at him.
“You must have heard him wrong,” his father said. “Now, I want you two—”
“No, he heard me correctly,” Ethan interrupted. I squeezed his hand reassuringly, just before he pulled me to his side, instead of behind him. I had a feeling I knew what was coming. I braced myself for an explosion, even as I thought let the chips fall where they may.
“It’s time I told you the truth. I’ve been hiding something for years, and I’m tired of it. I shouldn’t have to be afraid of admitting who I am, and I’m not going to pretend any longer.”
“Pretend what? What are you trying to say?” his father asked.
“I’m telling you that your younger son is gay, and always has been.”
“And she’s gay too?” The reverend gave me a confused look.
“She’s a he,” I answered, letting my voice fall into its natural register. Not a great deal of difference, but enough.
“But your name is Lavinia?”
“My name is Vincenzo,” I corrected him. “Vinnie for short.”
“His name is Vincenzo,” Ethan affirmed, “and he’s the man I love and plan to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Holy shit!” That was from Heather, who gaped at us, her eyes wide.
The minister glared at her, and she subsided into a sullen silence. He turned his attention back to us. “That can’t be,” he insisted. “You can’t be. Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s true,” Ethan said. “I didn’t have the nerve to tell you before, and because of that, I hurt the man I love. But you see what he was willing to do to keep the peace between you and me? He put on a dress for me, that’s how much he loves me. I’m not going to keep him a dirty little secret any longer, Father. I’m just not doing it.”
Sarah broke into applause, followed a moment later by Maureen. Her husband seemed about to have apoplexy.
“All my dreams for you, my hopes… you’re willing to throw all that away for some ridiculous idea that you’re gay?”
“It’s not a ridiculous idea, it’s the truth,” Ethan said, “whether you like it or not.” He gave his mother a beseeching glance. “Mom, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times. I did.”
“It’s all right, Ethan.” His mother sounded remarkably calm. “I’ve always known, honey, even if you weren’t able to admit it. And I love you just the way you are.”
“Get out!” Reverend Thorne roared, his voice fairly vibrating with anger. At first I thought he meant his wife, and I think Ethan did too. He took a protective step toward her. Then we realized he was talking to us. “Get out of this house and never come back.”
“No!” Ethan’s mother and sister cried together.
Oh. Hell.
“Dad, please,” Ethan said, and it hurt me to hear the pain in his voice, “can’t we sit down and talk about this? Like adults?”
“Like adults? Like adults?” the minister parroted. “You tell me you’re a Sodomite and you expect me to simply accept that there’s something wrong with you when it goes against everything I stand for? What’s there to discuss? Are you saying if I asked you to, you’d forget this whole crazy idea and go back to the way you were? Before you were seduced into your perverted lifestyle?” He took a step toward Ethan, and then as quickly stepped back, toward his wife. Finding no quarter there, he retreated to the doorway, never glancing Heather’s way.
I was finding it difficult to hold my tongue, but I managed, for Ethan’s sake. I knew this was something he needed to get out, on his own, but I couldn’t help thinking this family put the d in dysfunctional. Benny was getting excited, what with everyone yelling and carrying on. I scooped him up and held him out of harm’s way, soothing him so he wouldn’t bark and draw anyone’s anger.
“The way I was? I’ve always been this way, I’ve always been gay,” Ethan said. “Nothing’s changed. Nothing other than I found the balls to tell you the truth.”
“And this is the son you wanted to keep close to you?” Joe Junior’s voice was more than a little bitter. “The prodigal son you wished to welcome home with open arms and a fat job? I couldn’t believe it when Heather told me what you did. I thought she was lying, but I guess she wasn’t. Well, that’s just peachy. You give me a damn insurance agency, and you set him up with the FBI. There’s gratitude for you.”
Reverend Thorne gave his older son an icy glare. “I would have given you the same opportunity had you showed the same initiative Ethan did. He worked to get where he is. You married into it.”
Everyone glanced at Heather, who’d pulled out a compact and was busy powdering her face. She looked up to find all eyes on her. She snapped the case shut with a loud click. “By the way,” she said, in a matter-of-fact voice, “the next time you want to know if someone’s a woman or a man, check out the Adam’s apple. It’s a dead giveaway.”
That was true, but people tended not to look at those things when you wore a dress and made up your face. People see what they want to see.
“Can’t we sit down, please, and discuss this calmly?” Maureen pleaded. “Joe, he’s still our son, please don’t turn away from him.”
“Turn away from him?” his father repeated. “He’s the one who needs to find his way back to us, to forsake this… this… person.” He waved his hand in my general direction.
“This person has a name,” Ethan hissed, “and it’s Vinnie Delarosa, and don’t you ever forget that or treat him with anything less than respect. Do to me what you will, but never ever mistreat Vinnie.”
“What if I told your boss about the two of you? How long do you think you’d keep that precious job of yours?” Reverend Thorne threatened.
“Dad!” Sarah cried out, echoed by Maureen’s “Joseph! You wouldn’t. You can’t.”
“Tell away,” Ethan said. “Our boss already knows. And he accepts us for who we are. You know what? I’m not doing this. I refuse to do this. Is it any wonder I waited so long to say anything, knowing this would probably happen?”
“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass,” Joe Junior smirked. I took a menacing step in his direction, and he quickly backed off. I think his comment was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I couldn’t keep quiet now if I tried.
“Dude, I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to grow up. Seriously. And you.” I turned in Heather’s direction. “You need to figure out who it is you’re married to.” Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at me, speechless. Finally, I rounded on the minister.
“And as for you, Reverend Thorne, Ethan is the finest man I know, how dare you talk to him like that? He’s worked hard for what he has, and he’s good at what he does. He doesn’t need you to try to bribe him to love you with some FBI job. If you weren’t so blind, you’d see that he does love you, and he loves his mother. All he wants is for you to love him for who he is, not for who you want him to be. I’m not even sure why he loves you, but he does. You’re pompous and arrogant and full of yourself, and you seem to think the sun rises and sets on you. Well, I’m here to tell you it fucking doesn’t, so get over yourself.”
Now everyone was staring at me, and I realized too late I’d worked myself up into an emotional state, and I was in danger of bursting into tears, and wouldn’t that just be the icing on the cake? Ethan wrapped his arms around Benny and me, and I turned into him, working at controlling my breathing, careful not to crush our pup between us.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” he soothed. “We’re going now. We’ll go back to the motel.” He rubbed my back, and I couldn’t see what was going on in the room behind me, but I could hear that no one was speaking.
Then I felt another hand on my arm, heard Sarah echo, “It’s okay, Vinnie, it’s okay.”
“Joseph Thorne, you owe those boys one hell of an apology,” Ethan’s mother said, and I think everyone was shocked to hear those words coming out of her mouth. I turned in Ethan’s arms and stared at her. “You are not throwing my son out of my home. This is my home too, and I want him and Vinnie here. Do you understand me?”
“Maureen,” the minister fumed. “You can’t ask that of me. He’s everything I stand against… my own son.”
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you,” Maureen said firmly. “I’ve put up with a lot from you over the years, but I won’t put up with this.”
“Then I’ll leave, is that what you want? Rather than remain in the presence of unrepentant sinners, I’ll go. Will that make you happy?”
Ethan’s mother closed her eyes and drew a long shuddering breath before opening them once more. “No, that’s not what I want. But the decision is yours. You won’t make me choose between you and my son. I refuse to do it.”
For once, the minister seemed indecisive. He ran his hand through his hair while he worked at collecting himself. He held up one hand. “You are not yourself, Maureen,” he said in a softer voice, “and I will not agitate you in your present condition. I shall be in my study as long as they are here.”
“Joe, want me to come with you?” Heather offered. I noticed Joe Junior flinch, and I couldn’t help but think Heather was a real piece of work. He shook his head as he walked past her, out of sight.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Ethan began, but she stopped his words with her own.
“Don’t be. None of this is your fault. Yours or Vinnie’s.”
“Thank you,” Ethan said. Turning his attention to me, he tilted my head back so he could look into my eyes. “You’re so brave,” he said. “I could never have stood up to him like you did. Thank you for that.”
“You make me strong,” I said. “I’m only strong with you.”
He gave me a soft smile and kissed me, and for a moment, we became lost in our own little world. “I think we need to get out of here for a while. Get you out of that dress. What do you think?”
“Sounds perfect to me,” I said.
I heard Joe Junior mumble something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “fucking faggots.” Only Ethan’s restraining arms kept me from jumping on him and pounding his face into the carpet. Almost tripping over his own feet in his haste, he retreated to the doorway, standing beside his wife, who gave him a scornful look.
“Brave man,” she said sarcastically.
“He’s not worth it, baby,” Ethan murmured in my ear, and Benny barked his agreement.
I glared at Ethan’s brother. “I guess he forgot these faggots are federally trained cops,” I said scornfully.
“Well, you know how brave and strong insurance salesmen are,” Sarah joked. Everyone but Joe Junior laughed at her comment, relieving a little of the tension. Even Ethan’s mother joined in. Joe stalked off toward the kitchen without another word.
“Mom,” Ethan began. We approached his mother’s chair, and Ethan knelt down beside her, taking her hand in his. “Thank you for standing up for us. And believing in us.”
“Always,” his mother replied, pride evident in her voice. “Ethan, I’m sorry for everything you and Vinnie have had to go through on my behalf, and I appreciate you being here, very much. But I can understand if you need to go back to Roanoke. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’m getting better every day. And Sarah’s going to be around. She’ll look after me. So you see, no reason to worry.”
“Yeah, I’ll be here,” Sarah piped up, “if you guys need to get back to work.”
“We’re not leaving yet,” Ethan said. “Work can wait. He’s not going to chase us away. I won’t let him. We’re here for you, not him.”
Maureen sighed. “You know he loves you, don’t you? Please don’t ever doubt that.”
Ethan seemed skeptical, and I couldn’t blame him, but I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t my place. Still, I wondered what kind of love that could be if he couldn’t accept the person his son was, if he preferred a false image of what would never be. With that sort of logic, someone might say my father loved me and my mother, and because of that, he left us. That argument just didn’t make any sense.
“Listen, we’re going back to the motel, just for a little bit. But we’ll be back, I promise. As long as you don’t think our being here will cause a problem between you and Dad.”
“There won’t be any problem. I’ll make sure of that.” She looked up at me and gave me a tired but radiant smile.
“Vinnie, thank you.”
“For what?” I asked, startled. I hadn’t done anything but cause trouble in her family ever since my arrival. Hardly something to thank me for.
“For loving my son the way you do. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him, and in his when he looks at you. All I want is for you two to be happy together.”
“That’s all I want too,” I said, choking up despite my best intentions not to. I wished Ethan’s father was more like his mother. Life would be easier for everyone.
Now that everything was back on an even keel, more or less, Ethan and I took our leave. We turned down lunch, having no appetite for it, but promised to eat when we returned, and that pacified Maureen. Heather was still hanging around the living room, like a lost lamb. Maybe she was waiting for the reverend to reappear. I knew that wasn’t going to happen as long as we were there.
“Let me walk you out,” Sarah offered. She carried Benny cradled in her arms, and he basked in her attention, like the little ham he was. Ethan and I followed her, hand in hand. Nothing was said until we reached the car. She leaned against the passenger door, silently stroking Benny’s soft fur.
“I guess it’s time to let you know what’s going on with me,” she said at last.
“We’re listening,” Ethan said.
“Scott’s screwing around. Has been for a while, I think.”
Well, that was certainly unexpected. Ethan looked as startled as I did, as if he hadn’t seen that one coming.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
Sarah nodded. “Positive. He admitted it. Couldn’t do much else. I found the motel charges on our credit card, and I confronted him about them.”
“He charged them to your joint account?” Ethan asked in obvious disbelief. “What’s the matter with him?”
“I asked him just that. You won’t believe what he said. He told me he thought I was still hung up on James. That he could never be the man to me James was, or the father I wanted for Alexander. So he found someone who made him feel like more of a man.”
“So he blamed you ’cause he couldn’t keep it in his pants?”
Sarah nodded. A tear slid down one cheek, and she hastily wiped at it.
“I need to have a little talk with him,” Ethan said, a quiet menace in his voice I only heard when he got protective about the ones he loved. Me, his mother, his sister….
“No, Ethan, don’t,” she said. “It’s not worth it. I’m moving in with Mercy. Maybe he’s right, I don’t know. Maybe I do love James more than I’d like to admit. Maybe I married Scott just to give Alex a father. Whatever. I just wanted you to know.”
I took Benny from Sarah, and Ethan hugged his sister, while I patted her arm. “Whatever you need,” Ethan said, “just ask. We’re here for you, I hope you know that.”
“I know, and I love you both.”
Were all family relationships this complicated?