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Matt left Erena's cabin so he could get showered and changed, and so she could get to work on the tiny house. Soon, he'd talk to her about moving in together—he didn't want to spend a moment apart. But he also didn't want to live together while this secret was still between them. A heavy sledgehammer of guilt came down on his shoulders with every lie, with every misleading statement.
He walked across the Ring of Fire to his own cabin, passing Kayla, who was staring intently at Parker's cabin as if willing him to come out. She looked like she might say something to Matt, but he shook his head. He couldn't talk right now—he'd tell her everything later, after he'd talked to Jameson and Erena.
As soon as his door was shut, blocking out the cold as well as Kayla's curious stare, Matt's phone rang. Bronson, again. He'd have to answer him soon, but for now, he clicked ignore.
Water rained down over his face and body, but it didn't make him feel clean. He hated this, this feeling of holding back. He wasn't just holding back from Erena, but from the entire clan. It wasn't fair to him or Erena, and it sure as fuck wasn't fair to the rest of them.
That was it—he couldn't do this anymore. He'd call Jameson and tell him over the phone, because this was messed up.
As soon as he was out of the shower, he dialed Jameson. The phone rang and rang, then went to voicemail. A second later, Jameson texted him: Emergency? I just landed in Boise.
Sighing, Matt texted back, Not an emergency. Just need to talk when you get back.
Fuck. It would have to wait.
Fine, then, he'd go talk to Erena. At least he could be honest with her.
He started toward the door, when his phone rang. Jameson must have gotten a break. Matt answered without looking at the screen. "Jameson?"
"It's Bronson, you dumb fuck. Didn't you look at your phone?"
"I was expecting a call from the RCC alpha," Matt said smoothly. "I was hoping to get some more information, find out when he's leaving the territory and you might have a look around."
Bronson was quiet for a long moment. "The useful thing about you, lion, is that you can deceive shifters. But you know, I don't think I trust you anymore."
"Is that why you're sending over the others?"
Bronson didn't respond. Instead, Matt heard the beep of a dropped call.
It was all coming down around him. Every carefully laid plan, every deception. He couldn't wait anymore—he had to tell Erena.
On his way to her workshop, he passed Rex, who was pulling on a t-shirt.
"Just get back from a run?" Matt asked him.
Rex nodded. He squinted at Matt as he said, "Yeah. Patrolling. I caught some strange scents out there—you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
"Nope." Rex must have caught wind of Bronson's people. Shit. Matt shook his head and kept his heart steady. No uptick in nerves, no looking off to the side, no strange inflections. "Want me to go out there in a bit and run around?"
"Sure." Rex sounded surprised.
"You know, I'm just as invested in protecting the clan as you are," Matt said.
Rex stared hard at him before nodding once and walking away.
The steady drip-drip of icicles melting off the sides of the cabins' roofs punctuated the quiet as Matt looked around, readying himself for the talk he was about to have with Erena. She deserved the truth now, before it came out in some other horrible way.
It wasn't going to be easy, no matter how she learned, but hopefully this would be better.
As he crunched through the snow, closer to Erena's workshop, he heard voices.
"It's so strange to be confiding in you," Erena said.
A woman laughed quietly—it sounded like Nina. "Remember when I first got here? We were mortal enemies."
"Don't remind me."
The sound of a table saw cut through their conversation and Matt winced at the high-pitched, grating noise. He walked a little closer, though. He could hang around until Nina left, and then go in to tell Erena everything.
The very thought of confessing his original reason for coming here had his chest feeling tight and achy. She'd be pissed, but he deserved that and he could handle it. But this confession would hurt her. And hurting Erena? No. Every cell in his body revolted at the thought.
The saw stopped and he heard the two of them moving around. He could picture them lifting a board into place. Sure enough, a second later, the sound of Erena hammering—quick, strong, efficient—reached his ears.
"Why did you hate me?" Nina's voice was tentative.
"I don't even know, exactly," Erena said. "Jake hated you, and going along with him was easier than thinking for myself."
Bam! Bam! She hammered twice more. Matt got the impression that she hadn't needed to drive the nail in any harder—she just needed to hit something.
"I don't have any good answers," Erena continued, "but I do want to say I'm sorry."
"I think you already did—you paid everyone back for repainting Phil, didn't you?"
Phil? Matt thought. Then he remembered someone else talking about Nina's truck—she'd named it Phil.
"You weren't supposed to find out I did that," Erena said.
"I always kind of guessed, because Jameson got all shifty every time I talked about paying everyone back."
Nina and Erena both laughed. Matt liked the sound of that, his mate and her friend, joking and laughing together.
"How come you didn't want me to know?" Nina asked.
There was a pause, then Erena said, "I was ashamed, I guess. Still am, a little bit. Jake never actually lied to me, but he definitely led me to believe certain things that weren't the truth. It makes me wonder about my judgment, you know?"
"If you're worried about Matt, he's not gonna break your trust," Nina said.
Matt held his breath, wondering if Erena was having any doubts. He was holding back, so any doubts she had were legitimate and warranted.
Nina continued, "He's been living here for almost two weeks, and we can all see he's crazy in love with you. We could see it before you could, even."
And yet, here he was, about to barge in and confess that he had the ability to lie.
Shitty timing.
He needed to get away, and fast. Before Nina came out and caught him eavesdropping. He hadn't meant to, but...there was no excuse. He shouldn't have stuck around to listen to them talk.
Spinning on his heel, he turned and marched back to the cabins. Each step he took was a reminder that he would have a fuck-ton of making up to do once everything came out.
No more lying. No more deception. Shitty timing or not, he had to do this. He turned again and started back.
The door to Erena's workshop squeaked as it opened. Nina walked out, a red beanie pulled down over her hair. She smiled when she saw Matt. "Hey! We were just talking about you."
"Good stuff?" He kept his voice light, playful.
"Always a good word for a fellow mountain lion." She punched him lightly on the shoulder as she wandered past.
Matt's smile fell as soon as she was out of sight.
With a heavy heart and that damned persistent ache in his chest, he opened the door to Erena's workshop.