Stu frowned, turned off his computer screen, and looked at Spock.
“What do you want? And why are you sneaking around my house?” he asked.
“I wasn’t sneaking, but as usual you left your door wide open. You can’t blame me because you are too tight-fisted to put on the air-conditioner. You must have been too engrossed in your epic novel to hear me come in,” said Spock and sniggered.
Stu, feeling perturbed, saw Spock wearing his daft fishing hat, and said. “I thought you were going fishing.”
Spock nodded. “Yes, I was going fishing, but Shithead called me and said that your phone’s switched off and he has been trying to get hold of you.”
Stu furrowed his brow. “Oh, is he okay? What does he want?”
Spock shrugged. “I don’t know, but he sounded anxious and said it was urgent that he spoke with us both.” He rubbed his chin and said. “I told him that I would come here and then call him back.”
“Oh, okay,” said Stu, walking to the coffee table to get his phone.
He turned it on and called Pon.
“Huh,” said Stu, number busy. He tapped his lips together. “Okay, I will make us a mug of tea and then call him.”
“Good idea matey,” said Spock as Stu walked into the kitchen.
Spock smirked, turned on the computer screen, and read what little Stu had written of his book.
Spock shrugged and shouted. “What’s it about?”
Stu grumbled, walked back into the living room, turned off the screen, and said. “If you must know, it is about a one-toothed vampire.”
Spock looked gobsmacked before bursting out laughing.
Stu, unimpressed by his friend’s disbelief in his literary prowess, stormed back into the kitchen grumbling.
Spock, with a titter in his voice, called out. “What are you calling it...Gums or Woneater?” he sniggered and said. “Watch out Bram Stoker… here comes Wilson.”
Stu mumbled as he heard Spock’s condescending laughter before the kettle clicked off.
“Very funny,” said Stu, walking back into the living room with two mugs of tea and placed them on the coffee table.
He sat on the sofa and said. “Stop taking the piss and come here while I call Pon.”
Still tittering, Spock sat next to Stu while he called Pon again.
“Ah, it’s ringing now,” he said, and put his phone on speaker when Pon answered.
“Hi mate what’s up?” asked Stu.
“Hi Stu, is Spock with you?” said Pon sounding concerned.
“Yes matey, I’m sitting here with Agatha Wilson,” said Spock chuckling.
“My friends, I have a problem, and I need your help,” said Pon sounding wistful.
“Why, did you trap your tail in the door again?” asked Spock and tittered.
“Or did Kim think it was a hairy snake and chop it off by mistake?” said Stu chortling.
With the sound of his two English friends laughing, Pon tutted, ignored their attempts at wit, and sounding serious, said. “I can’t explain over the phone, but can you come to the Imperial Palace?”
The lads stopped joking, and while Stu took a slurp of his tea, Spock said. “Do we need to bring anything with us, a change of clothes or toothbrushes?” Then, fishing for clues, asked, “Should I bring my Adventure hat?”
Pon, not wanting to divulge information over the phone, said, “If you get here tomorrow morning, I can explain everything when I see you. You will need to stay for a few nights.”
“Oh, okay,” said Spock and looked at Stu who shrugged, nodded, and said. “Okay, we will leave here first thing and should be there around 10:00 am.”
“Thank you my friends. Oh, and Spock you better bring your Adventure hat,” said Pon and chuckled.
Stu groaned and then the pair looked at each other as Pon said. “Come straight to my quarters. You can bring the girls if you want, it will be great to see you all.”
“Okay Shithead, we’ll see you tomorrow,” said Stu, and after hanging up the phone, asked Spock, “what do you think mate, he sounded worried?”
Spock giggled and said. “He’s winding us up matey. He just wanted a night on the piss, that’s why he said to bring the girls, so he can fob Kim off with them.”
Stu rubbed his chin and looked puzzled. “I don’t think so Spock, they only came here a few weeks ago, and we went out then.”
Spock smirked. “Yep, but he got a bollocking from Kim for being out late.”
Stu chortled. “Yeah, and so did you.”
Spock took a drink of tea, recalling the major bollocking he received from Moo after coming home spannered with a tattoo. He frowned as he looked at his arm and picked dead skin off his recent tattoo. “Bastard,” he mumbled, “hurry up and heal.”
Stu sighed and said. “Well, we won’t find out anything until tomorrow and now you aren’t going fishing, shall we go for an afternoon libation?” He took a slurp of tea and said. “We can pop to the Butterfly bar, have a couple of beers, and get our todgers fondled. We can come home early, get the girls to pack, and then have an early night. Then we can leave in the morning and go see what Pon wanted.”
Spock pondered for a split second, smiled, nodded, and said, “Good idea matey.”
The pair walked outside into the hot afternoon sun and got into Stu’s Hilux, feeling excited about their plans for the afternoon and intrigued by Pon’s phone call.
“Take off that stupid hat,” said Stu, “you know what happened the last time you went to the Butterfly Bar wearing it.”
Spock grunted and took off his hat.
The memory of how his headpiece got swiped while he was having a quick shag went through his mind. He felt sure he left his hat on the bar, but when he returned from the short time rooms, his hat was nowhere in sight.
With everyone at the bar insisting they hadn’t seen it, Spock looked like Sherlock Holmes as he walked around the bar looking for his hat amongst the bins, shelves, and around the bench seats in the bar.
As he and the girls in the Butterfly Bar searched outside, Stu sat at the bar sniggering.
Spock found his lucky fishing hat floating in the hot tub set up in a dark recess in an area outside the bar.
Customers paid the bar to have the girls service them in the warm frothy water, and it’s commonly known as Pattaya’s Infamous Butterfly Bar Aqua Shag Pool.
Spock grimaced as he remembered his disgust at having to remove his treasured hat from the tub. Water and sticky blobs of gizm that floated on the water dripped from his soaked bonnet, with some sticking.
While putting his fishing hat in the glove box, Spock glanced at Stu smirking. He frowned and still felt convinced that he had something to do with it, despite his denials. However, Spock wasn’t concerned at the time, as it seemed to have cheered his old mate up during his dark depressive period not so long ago.
Several minutes later, Spock saw Stu smiling while driving, and realising he was now thinking about his stupid book, said. “Oh, and by the way Hemmingway. Growel is spelt G-R-O-W-L. Blood spurted, not oozes from a vein, and I’m certain it’s sank, not sinks.”