Sher
While I sat in my living room, thinking of my conversation with Am, my visitor bell chimed. I rose and walked over to the small monitor mounted on the side of the wall. Janine stood in the lobby, looking angry. Oh, hell. I was not in the mood for another showdown that night, but I couldn't very well pretend I wasn't home. Well, I could, but it would only be putting off the inevitable confrontation.
I took a deep breath before pushing the intercom. "Janine—"
"We need to talk, Sher. Right now."
"Come on up," I said and pressed the button to release the lobby door lock. Then I paced the floor until she rang the bell outside my door. After glancing out the peephole to make sure it was her, I opened the door.
"Janine—"
"How could you?" she asked, pushing past me.
Oh hell. Shane had obviously made his lack of interest obvious and she now wanted to blame me. I closed the door and walked past her into the living room.
She followed me. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself, Sherlyn?"
Her tone suddenly pissed me the hell off. I turned to face her. "About what?"
"About how you stabbed me in the back with Shane Reddorn! He tried to deny it, but that must have been one hell of a dinner you two had last night. When did it end? Sometime this morning?"
"If you're implying that we spent the night together, we didn't!"
"Then why is he interested in you instead of me?"
I'd had a rough day and I just didn't feel like taking anymore shit from anyone. Her implication that no man could possibly prefer me was the end. Don had preferred me to her. As had Darkwater and clearly Shane. "Maybe because I actually have a personality and don't need anyone else to sing my praises to get a date with the man of my choice!"
She recoiled. "Are you implying I have no personality?"
"No, Janine. I'm coming right out and saying it! It's not my fault he prefers me to you. I tried to get him interested in you—"
"When? Between attempts to titillate him yourself? Every damned time he opened his mouth he found a reason to mention you. You might not have slept with him last night, but I'll bet you came pretty damned close! What did you do? Give him a blowjob?"
I sucked in a breath and stared at her. I was angry and afraid. I know I should have admitted the truth, but certain our friendship hung in the balance, I wimped out and shook my head. "I tried to steer him to you—just as I've always done when you asked me to. It's not my fault it didn't work."
She stared at me with an angry look in her eyes until she spotted Don's picture still lying in the twisted frame. "What happened?" she asked in a cool voice.
I shrugged. "Darkwater tossed it against the wall in a fit of...something."
"Oh. I see. So because you can't have him back, you thought it would be a good idea to take Shane from me?"
Her lack of empathy eroded my sympathy for her. "In order for me to have taken him from you, he had to be yours in the first place. He never was!"
"I hope you and he have a good time fucking each other over before moving onto other people! When he's finished screwing over you like Darkwater did, don't expect much sympathy from me!"
I stared at her, in shock. How could she say such hurtful things? "I don't believe you just said that—not after all we've been through together."
"Believe it," she said, turned and slammed out of my apartment.
I sank down onto the sofa and let a flood of tears stream down my cheeks before I got up and went into the kitchen. I sat pushing cold veggies and a piece of fish around on my plate just before ten p m when my visitor bell chimed again.
Oh, hell. What now? I was shocked to see Darkwater in my lobby. "What part of I'm never going to forgive you didn't you understand, Darkwater?" I asked.
"I know saying I'm sorry is inadequate, but—"
"You're damned right it is."
"But what the hell else can I say, Sherlyn?"
"Nothing. That's all I want to hear from you. Nothing."
"Really? Well, that's too damned bad because I have a lot more than that to say to you."
"Doesn't mean I'm going to listen."
"The hell it doesn't. Release the door," he said.
"No."
"Release the door or I'll do it myself."
"What?"
"I haven't changed my lock codes any more than you probably have."
"So?"
"So let me in or I'll let myself in," he said, his hand hovering over the keypad.
I’m not sure why, but it had never occurred to me to change my code after our relationship ended.
"Are you going to let me in or do I need to do it myself? Either way, I'm coming up."
And of course, I'd never bothered to ask him to return the keys to my apartment, just as he hadn't asked for his back. So once he was past the lobby, keeping him in the hallway would be impossible. I could put the chain on the door but the way my luck was going, he'd probably kick the door in.
I could call Michael or Jeffery, but neither would arrive in time to keep him from having his say. Besides, I wasn't so sure Michael wouldn't just urge me to hear him out.
I didn't fear him so I decided to let him have his damned say. Once he had, I'd either get my keys back before he left or I'd change my code and my locks. I released the buzzer and walked into the living room to wait for him.
When he rang the bell outside my door, I ignored him. Several minutes later, I looked up from the sofa as he stalked into the living room.
I don't know what I expected him to say or do, but as usual, he surprised me. He crossed the room with a bag in his hand, knelt in front of me, and took my hands in his. "I'm so sorry, Sherlyn. I had no right to even touch his picture. Throwing it across the room was unforgivable."
"And yet you expect me to forgive you," I said, pulling my hands from his.
"I do. Not because I deserve it, but because I know you have a forgiving heart."
I shook my head. "I've had a long, hard day. Just say what you have to and then please just leave me alone."
He rose and shocked me by reaching for Don's picture that still sat on the coffee table. "If you..."
He picked up the bag and lifted a beautiful ornate gold frame that I recognized as having held the picture of his parents that sat on the end table by his favorite chair in his man cave.
"What are you doing with that?" I asked.
"It was too late to shop for a frame to replace the one I damaged so I thought I'd lend you this one until I could replace it." He carefully slipped Don's slightly bent picture inside the frame and placed it on the table, facing us.
I stared at him. "What did you do with your parents' picture?"
"I put it in an album until I get this one back from you."
He had three different pictures of his parents and one of his father with Am's mother in various rooms in his home. That he had bought the one I knew had contained his parent's wedding picture touched me. "Oh, Thomas, you shouldn't have."
He shrugged. "I knew they'd understand and I hoped this gesture would signify how sorry I am. I really do regret doing that, Sherlyn. If you don't believe anything else I say, please believe that."
"Why did you?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"Not to me."
He rose and walked over to stare out my living room window. "I'm sorry."
"So you said and I believe you, but that doesn't explain why you felt the need to try to damage the picture of a the only man—"
He swung around to stare at me." If you say the only man who ever loved you again, I'll..."
"You'll what?"
He quickly crossed the room and knelt in front of me again. "If you believe I'm sorry, why do you keep pushing? What do you want? You've known me long enough to know..."
"To know what?"
He took my hands in his and brushed his lips against my fingers. "To know that I have difficulty expressing my feelings."
I leaned back, surprised by the odor of alcohol on his breath. "Have you been drinking?"
He narrowed his gaze. "I'm almost forty-one, Sherlyn. That's old enough to not need permission to drink."
"I know, but I've never smelt alcohol on your breath. I've never even seen you drink."
"I generally don't drink but you've driven me to it." He laughed and rose. "Since the smell of it offends you, I'll take my drunken ass home to sleep it off." He turned and walked out of the room.
Am had once told me that all five of her brothers had solemnly promised their father that they would guard against alcoholism and that most of them, including Darkwater, didn't drink at all. The others only indulged in an occasional celebratory toast.
The thought of him drinking and driving scared me. I jumped up and ran after him. "Thomas! Wait! Please."
He turned with his hand on the doorknob. "Yes?"
"I can't let you drive drunk."
"I'm far from drunk," he said.
I wasn't convinced. "I'd feel better if you stayed."
"And sleep where?" He glanced towards the living room. "I'm too tall to sleep comfortably on your sofa and I've grown too accustomed to comfort to consider sleeping on the floor."
"You can sleep in my bed," I said.
His gaze locked with mine. "And where are you planning to sleep?"
I moistened my lips and lowered my gaze to his mouth. "My bed is big enough for both of us."
He arched a brow.
"Before you get the wrong idea, I'll expect you to keep your briefs on and your hands to yourself."
"You say that as if you think I can't do that," he said in a cool voice.
I wanted sex with him that night. Needless to say, I was counting on his inability to control himself. "Then there shouldn't be any problem," I said and left him at the door. With my heart pounding, I went into my bathroom where I undressed. After hesitating for several moments, I slipped on my favorite cotton nightie that fell just below my knees and had been made for comfort and warmth rather than tempting a lover.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I found Darkwater lying on my bed. Although he wore his boxer briefs, I saw the clear outline of his cock. He was at least semi-erect. My pussy pulsed and my heart pounded. And oh, God, I wanted to feel his big body pinning me to the bed seconds before I felt his cock powering deep inside me.
I crossed the room. After turning off the bedside lamp, I slipped into bed. Lying on my side with my back to him, I waited and prayed he would reached for me.
He didn't and after five minutes or so, I closed my eyes on a stream of silent tears. He must know I wanted him. Hell, I'd admitted earlier in the night that I wanted sex. So why the hell didn't he instigate it? Did he want me to humiliate myself by begging for it? Well, I wasn't going to. I closed my eyes and struggled to fall asleep.
Just as I started to drift off, I felt him shift in the bed. Seconds later, his warm lips brushed my ear and nape. A big hand cupped my breasts.
With a rush of relief and need overwhelming me, I turned onto my back, and eagerly stroked my hand down his abs to his groin. I pushed my hand inside his briefs. Finding him fully erect, I parted my legs.
He slipped between my thighs and pressed his full weight on me.
I felt his cock pressing against my thigh. Oh, lord. Yes. Yes. Even though I would have probably been sexually satisfied sleeping with Shane, sex with Darkwater would always be the standard by which all other encounters were judged.
Pinning me to the bed, he bent his head to brush his mouth against mine.
I parted my lips and rubbed myself against his groin.
He kissed me slowly, deeply, pressing his tongue in my mouth while grinding his hips against me until I felt on fire with the need to feel his fully erect shaft sliding inside me. I tore my lips away from his just as he shifted his body.
I reached inside his briefs and eased his cock out. He pushed my nightshirt up above my breasts. Moments later, I gasped and shuddered with joy as he slowly pushed his hard length deep into my pussy—where it belonged and would always be welcome.
There was no feeling in the world to rival the joy I felt having him inside my body. Once he was fully seated inside me, he lay still, taking slow deep breaths with his lips pressed against my neck. He trailed his mouth down to whisper something in my ear.
I didn't hear it and really didn't care what he'd said. All I cared about was having my pussy full of his bare cock. I slid my hands around his body to clutch his ass. "Fuck me," I whispered.
"No," he said, his voice brusque. "We can fuck later. First we make love."
That's what we did. And it was the best sex of my life. Each slow, foray deep into my pussy, accompanied by his warm, insistent mouth and tongue raining sweet, moist caresses on my face, neck, and ears, sent chills of delight through me. The delicious motion of his strokes combined with the weight of his body pressing me against the mattress left me feeling completely surrounded and full of his cock. What an utterly wonderful sensation of feeling almost as if I were drowning in him.
I gloried in every thrust of his hips that drove his bare shaft as deep inside my pussy as possible. Trading hungry, greedy kisses with him, I rocked my hips in time with his and felt the sensual tension building between us.
The pleasure I felt was almost incomprehensible. The sense of being a part of him and never wanting the sex to end, even as I rushed towards what I knew would be a powerful and overwhelming orgasm, robbed me of the ability to do anything but feel. Feel and glory in having him inside me again with nothing between my pussy and his utterly delectable thrusting sugar dick that gave mind-numbing pleasure.
As the tension built, I tore my mouth away from his demanding kiss. Moaning, I draped my legs over the back of his thighs. I shuddered while wildly humping on his cock. Then I surrendered to the thrill of unmitigated bliss as my climax rushed over me with the power of a hurricane-like force of nature, shattering and splintering all the mental defenses I'd struggled to erect around my heart; leaving me happily drifting in a vast ocean of total bliss.
Oh. Fuck yeah this was how intimacy was supposed to be.
Although I longed to slump against the bed and wallow in the afterglow, I instead made an effort to hold him close and tighten my vaginal muscles around his cock until he groaned my name and then shot his cum in my pussy.
Oh God! I closed my eyes and clutched him close, eager to keep every drop of his seed inside me.
When he stopped coming, he relaxed his body on mine, burying his lips against my neck and muttering incoherently to me.
We lay still joined for several wonderful minutes until he finally eased out of me.
We belatedly disrobed and then he turned me onto my side, spooning his body against my.
Oh. So nice. I leaned back against him and sighed with pleasure as he cupped one hand over my cum-filled pussy and the other over my breasts. I fell asleep savoring the feel of his semi-erect shaft against my ass thinking one day I'd like to feel it powering as deep in my ass as it had just done in my pussy.
I woke several hours later to find myself sprawled on my stomach with a pillow under my hips. With his cock already in possession of my pussy, he groaned with pleasure every time he thrust in and out of me with a rough hunger that quickly filled me with lust and love.
Reaching back to grip his hips, I moaned with delight because each time he drove his hard dick home, it forced my clit roughly against the pillow. It only took a few hard, almost ruthless thrusts to send a jolt of absolute lust roaring through my pussy and my body. Within two minutes of waking up to find him already fucking me raw, I was sobbing with bliss and coming hard all over his cock.
Clutching his hands over my breasts, he pounded my pussy even harder. His climax came quickly. I held him tight as he pumped his seed into my pussy.
Oh. Damn. What a man and what a wonderful fuck.
When he pulled out of me, he kissed a trail down my back to my ass. After caressing and massaging my neither cheeks, he parted them and proceeded to lick and eat me to another blistering orgasm.
Fuck. When I came, he rolled onto his back.
Lying on top of him feeling his heartbeat return to normal, I waited for him to say something to me. Anything to show me what we'd shared had meant something special to him.
His silence convinced me that he'd gotten what he wanted and didn't feel any need to pretend to feelings he'd probably never had for me. Yes the sex had been more than wonderful but physical intimacy wasn't enough. I wanted more and needed him to want more too.
But he clearly didn't. I slipped off him to lie beside him on my back. "So you just wanted a fuck after all," I said, hoping he'd make me believe otherwise.
He inhaled slowly and then swore. "If all I wanted was a fuck, I know plenty of women who'd happily give me as many as I wanted without my having to go through the shit I get from you!" He rolled away and sat up.
Unwilling to risk his leaving angry, I reached out to catch his hand in the darkened room. For a moment, I felt him tense and half expected him to pull away and make me beg him not to leave.
Instead, he lay back on the bed, close to, but not touching me.
Suspecting I'd have to make the next move, I shimmied across the mattress until I could press my body against his side. After a long moment, he suddenly turned from his back to face me. When I moved closer, he slipped his arm around me and pressed a slow, warm kiss against my mouth.
I kissed him back and pressed closer.
Reaching a hand between our bodies, he stroked my pussy and continued to place soft, warm kisses against my lips.
Savoring the delightful sensation of knowing my pussy was full of his cum, I closed my thighs on his hand. As sleep descended, I felt happy and thought of Don. "Don." He would be happy to know I might have my happy ever after ending with Darkwater after all. Considering Darkwater's tenderness, I decided Am was right. It was time to put Don's pictures away. We could talk in the morning and clear the air between us. Maybe then we could decide if we wanted to try again.
* * *
Darkwater
When I was sure Sherlyn was asleep, I slipped out of bed, picked up my clothes, and went into the living room. As I dressed, I struggled with frustration, anger, and pain. Recalling how she had called out Don's name again just as she fell asleep, I reluctantly admitted that I couldn't compete with him. She would probably always love him. I could accept that fact and try to move on with my life. Or I could pursue a relationship with her while trying to come to terms with knowing I was and probably always would be second best with her.
I had to admit I was tempted to settle on the latter solution until my pride kicked in. Why the hell should I settle for his leftovers? She wasn't the first woman to fall in love with me and I knew she wouldn't be the last. I'd just have to cultivate an attitude that made falling in love with someone else easier. That meant admitting failure with her and walking away this time without regrets or constantly looking back.
After briefly returning to her bedroom, I quietly let myself out of her apartment and drove home to a house that felt as cold and lonely as the ache in my heart.
* * *
Sherlyn
I woke the next morning feeling hopeful. Even though I knew before I opened my eyes that Darkwater wasn't in the bed, I inhaled slowly, expecting to smell coffee brewing along with whatever he'd whipped up for breakfast. Not that I was interested in eating. While I was hungry, it wasn't for food. Recalling the pure ecstasy I'd felt when he'd eaten me, I decided I wanted to return the favor by sucking him to orgasm. Smiling at the thought of our then showering together and finally hearing him sing I was his remedy again, I opened my eyes.
As I had known, I was alone in the bed. However, instead of a covered tray on my nightstand, I saw Don's picture. My smile widened, pleased that he'd made the gesture of bringing it back into the bedroom and placing it on my nightstand. Hopefully, he would appreciate my gesture of removing it.
Sitting up, I picked up the picture. After slowly tracing my finger along the contours of his face, I sighed. Then before I could change my mind, I removed the picture from the frame. I carefully placed the picture face down in my drawer. With that done, I was ready to try again with Darkwater. I rolled out of bed, spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom, and then walked to the kitchen where I expected to find Darkwater making breakfast. What I found was an empty apartment.
It was only when I returned to my bedroom and sank onto the side of my bed that I saw the keys I'd given him. My heart felt broken into countless pieces as I stared at them because I knew his returning them was his way of telling me it was over between us. This time for good.
Although hurt and angry, I forced myself to face reality. Who could I blame except myself? When would I learn that nothing good ever came of having unprotected sex with him? Each time he got what he wanted, he turned cold or in this case, he just left in the dark of night without a damned care for how I'd feel when I woke to find him gone and my keys on the nightstand.
I wanted to sit and cry but I didn't have the time. I made a cup of instant coffee, dressed, and left for work. Although I wanted to talk I didn't want to hear Am going on about how badly I'd treated Darkwater. Talking to Janine at the moment was out of the question. And I didn't want to drag other friends into the equation.
For once, fate decided to give me a break. I made my way to my office without seeing or encountering either Janine or Shane. The urge to have a good, gut-wrenching cry lingered well into the morning. When my cell phone rang just after eleven and I saw the call was from Shane, I didn't know rather to feel angry, annoyed, or just indifferent.
I walked away from my workstation and answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"
"Hi, Sherlyn. I know you're probably angry about how things turned out with Janine last night, but I really need to talk to you and—."
"Okay."
"What? Did you say okay?"
After waking to find Darkwater had just walked out without a word, I needed to see a man who made no secret of finding me attractive. Okay. I know I shouldn't have agreed to see him, but between the two of them, I felt as if Janine and Darkwater had worked me over. I nodded. "Yes."
He blew out a breath. "Can you manage lunch? I'm free from now through two o'clock."
"Yes, but not in the building," I said quickly. The thought of Janine looking down from her office and seeing us together sent a chill through me. Yeah. I know that if the thought worried me, I shouldn't have agreed to see him, but I needed a pick me up.
"Name the place and I'll meet you there. I assume you'd rather we arrived separately."
As if we were cheating. He on Janine and me on Darkwater. I shook my head, dismissing the thought. "Yes. How about the park two blocks from here at one?"
"I can bring sandwiches," he offered.
"Thanks. I'll see you then," I said and hung up before I changed my mind.
Although I pretended to work, I didn't accomplish much and left work to walk to the park feeling confused.
As soon as I entered the park, I spotted Shane seated on a bench watching the West entrance with several bags beside him. He smiled and rose as I walked up to the bench.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi," I said, forcing a smile to my face.
He waited until I sat before resuming his seat. "How are you?"
"I've had much better days. What about you?"
He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I wanted to explain about Janine."
I shook my head. "She came to see me last night and accused me of stabbing her in the back because I wanted you for myself."
"I told her you'd sang her praises but she was convinced otherwise. I'm sorry."
I sighed. "She's angry with me now but we've been friends since junior high. We'll get through this."
"I'm glad to hear it. I would hate to think I'd damaged your friendship."
"We've been through too much together to allow any man to do that," I said confidently.
"Well, damn. I feel marginalized," he said.
I laughed and then slipped my arm through his. "Don't. You're one of the most exciting men I've ever met."
"That takes some of the sting away," he said and disengaged his arm from mine. He opened his bags. "I have turkey and provolone, ham and Swiss, corn beef and American, and chicken salad, all on wheat. What's your preference?"
I shrugged. I really wasn't hungry but knew it would be a long afternoon if I didn't eat something. "Turkey and provolone," I said.
He offered me a sandwich.
When I reached for it, he drew it back and locked his gaze on my lips. "Nothing's really free."
"Just like a man—always so damned devious."
"What do you plan to do about it?"
After a long, tense moment, I leaned forward and touched my mouth to his. "Satisfied?"
"Hell no," he said and pressed a soft, gentle kiss against my lips that although brief and devoid of passion managed to make me feel better before finally giving me the sandwich. "I have cranberry juice and cola to drink," he said.
"Cranberry," I said.
We ate half our sandwiches in silence before I looked up to find him staring at me. "What? What's wrong?"
"What about you and Darkwater?"
I tensed. "What about us?"
"Have you rekindled your romance?"
I could have kissed him for calling it a romance instead of an affair or something even sleazier. "There was no romance to rekindle. But why do you ask?"
"Because he called me this morning."
I paused with the sandwich halfway to my mouth and turned to stare at him. "He did? What did he say?"
"He warned me to stay away from you."
This from the man who had probably left in the middle of the night after returning my keys. As I had told Am, he was clearly one of those men who didn't want anyone else to have a woman—even when he no longer wanted her.
"How did you respond, Shane?"
"I told him to fuck off and that I'd stay away from you when you asked me to." He paused. "Do you want me to stay away, Sherlyn?"
"No," I admitted. "That's not what I want, but it's what I need you to do."
He narrowed his gaze.
"Not because of him but because of the need to repair my relationship with Janine. I can't do that and go out with you too."
"Don't you think you're allowing her too much say over how you handle your love life?"
I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know. All I know is that I have no family in the area. My friends are very important to me. Even though I'd love to get to know you, I just can't. I hope you understand."
"I don't know if I do or not, but I'll honor your wishes, Sherlyn."
So, like Darkwater, his interest was purely sexual.
"But if you change your mind, I'm sure you'll find me ready and eager to pick up where we left off at your apartment."
I leaned against his shoulder. "Thanks for saying that."
"I'm not just saying it. I mean it. I mean this too: if you ever need to talk or just need a shoulder to cry on, mine's available—at least until I start dating someone who might object to your using it."
The offer surprised and touched me. "Thanks, Shane," I said and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
Of course he turned his head and our lips brushed and then clung together for several warm, sweet minutes. During the kisses that followed, I struggled with the urge to lean closer. I longed to press my breasts against his chest. Wrestling my desire under control, I finally pulled away from him.
"Part of the reason you're saying no is because of him. Isn't it?"
I shrugged.
"You're in love with him. Aren't you?"
I sighed before finally nodding.
"Lucky bastard."
"I don't think he considers himself lucky. He's not in love with me."
"What makes you say that?"
"Experience. He just wants unprotected sex with no commitment or consequences." I said and then bit my lip. Why the hell was I being so damned honest with him admitting to feelings I hadn't even shared with Amber and Janine?
"Have you ever actually met a heterosexual male who didn't?"
I turned to frown at him.
He shrugged. "Of course most of us with common sense who aren't married or in a committed relationship, don't act on the desire. However, I'd find it difficult to believe that you would encounter many males who didn't want the same thing."
"So you're saying...what? That he's probably screwing every woman he meets raw?"
He shook his head. "I doubt that."
"Why?"
"He didn't strike me as a fool and that type of behavior would be both foolish and dangerous. Although I love it, I've only ever done it with the two women I married."
"He's never been married."
"I still doubt he's screwing raw." He arched a brow. "He probably saves that level of intimacy for you."
I felt my cheeks burn and looked away from him. "You probably think I'm—"
"I think you're a woman in love with a man who had better get his damned act together before he loses you to another man who realizes your true worth."
I sighed and turned to look at him. "Thanks for saying that."
"I wish you and I had met without either him or Janine in the picture, Sherlyn."
I nodded. "So do I, but I can't change how I feel about either one of them."
"For which they should both be thankful. As for me, I'll reluctantly settle for your friendship."
"And Janine?" I asked hopefully. "Will you consider asking her out again? She really is a great person."
He shook his head. "I'm just not interested in her, Sherlyn."
"I wish you'd reconsider."
"I admit I'm tempted to ask her out again—just to please you. But what would be the point, Sherlyn?"
"You would see she's a great person."
"She'd only end up hurt. My lack of interest in her isn't going to change just because I accept the fact that I won't be getting to know you better."
We finished our lunch in a companionable silence and then returned to work. Back in my office, I sat planning how I'd get Janine to forgive me.
* * *
Darkwater
After spending hours trying to decide if I should try again with Sherlyn or just cut my losses and move on, I found myself driving to her office in the hope that I could surprise her for lunch. Surprise her? I was the one who ended up with a nasty surprise.
As I drove into the parking lot, I spotted her leaving the building through the side entrance. With traffic behind me, I continued and drove around looking for a parking spot. By the time I found one, I could see her walking in the direction of the park where we'd had the occasional lunchtime picnic. Instead of following her immediately, I went back in the building to buy two sandwiches and a drink from the vendor machines.
I arrived at the park entrance in time to see her sitting, smiling at the damned Shane Reddorn. Then, as I watched, she linked her arm through his before leaning forward to kiss him.
I'm not sure how to describe my emotions. I know I felt rage. The urge to storm across the park and knock him the fuck out was mitigated by the fact that he only responded to the kiss she had initiated. Why the hell was she kissing him after spending the previous night having unprotected sex with me.
I also felt sad and a sense of hopelessness. Those emotions won out over my rage and I turned and walked away, giving the sandwiches and drink to a man sitting at the entrance of the park.
Back in my car, I sat taking slow, deep breaths and telling myself I had no one to blame but myself. Had I made a damned move she might not now be sitting in the park trading spit with a man who couldn't possibly want or need her as much as I did. Before I drove off, I noticed Janine leaving the building.
On impulse, I got out of my car and called to her. "Janine."
She turned to face me with a surprised look on her face. She briefly glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the park before walking over to me. "Hi, Darkwater."
"You looked surprised to see me."
She looked over her shoulder again. "If you're looking for Sher, I think she's out to lunch."
"At the park?"
"I..." She shrugged. "Maybe."
"She's there all right. I just saw her."
"Did you?" She moistened her lips. "Was she alone?"
"No. She was with Shane Reddorn."
She gripped my hand. "Don't get the wrong idea. She's just doing me a favor."
"Is she?"
She nodded. "Yes. She's talking me up to him."
By kissing him?
"You don't have to worry that there's anything going on between them."
There we were: two idiots twisting ourselves into knots trying to protect a woman who was currently betraying us both. "I think we need to talk. Can you spare some time?"
"Not right now. I'm just going for a walk."
"Not to the park, I hope."
"Why not?"
"There were a couple of unsavory characters hanging in there," I lied, deciding her friendship with Sherlyn would suffer if she saw her kissing Reddorn. "You shouldn't be in there alone today."
"Sher's there."
"But she's not alone. She's talking you up to Reddorn. Remember?"
She nodded. "Yes. Right. That is what she was doing. Wasn't it?"
"Of course. What else could she possibly be doing with him?"
"Nothing," she said quickly.
Too damn bad that wasn't true. "Are you free for dinner tonight?"
She hesitated and then nodded. "Sure. Where shall we meet?"
"I'll pick you up here after work."
"Here? I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Well..." she shrugged. "I wouldn't want Sher to see and misunderstand."
I would. Maybe it would wake her the fuck up. "We're two friends having dinner. We don't have to hide that fact from anyone." Unlike Sher and Reddorn sneaking damned kisses in the park.
"Okay. I'll see you then." She glanced at her watch. "I think I'll forego the walk and return to work."
"Good idea. I'll see you later."
"Okay." She turned and walked back into the building.
I got in my car and waited until I saw Sherlyn returning from the park. The damned Reddorn walked about a half block behind her. It took all of my will power to allow her to walk past without making my presence known. As for him...the only thing that kept me from leaving my car and knocking him on his ass was the thought of how difficult it would make Am's wedding if I did. But that bastard was not going to take her from me.
* * *
Sher
I don't know how, but I managed to make it through the rest of the day. Mentally exhausted, I left work planning to spend the night at home reading and not thinking about Darkwater, my damaged friendship with Janine, or my desire to get to know Shane in the biblical sense. However, my plans were blown to bits when I walked into the parking lot and saw Darkwater leaning against his car, parked several feet from mine.
I hate to admit it but my heartbeat increased and I longed to rush forward and toss myself at him and beg him to take me home and love me just once more. Or fuck me. I didn't care. I just wanted to experience the magic that existed only in his embrace.
But wearing my heart on my sleeve with him had never yielded positive results. So I continued at a normal pace until I stopped by his car. "I'm not sure what you think we have to say to each other," I said in a voice I struggled to keep level.
"Aren't you, Sherlyn?"
"No," I said, depressed by the cool look in his eyes.
"Then it's just as well I'm not here to see you," he said.
My thoughts turned to Shane. Although I was sure he could take care of himself, Darkwater was taller and more muscular. He'd wrestled his way from high school into a full-scholarship and had kept in shape. His height, weight advantage, along with the air of barely concealed anger he could emote left me fearful should he decide to provoke a physical confrontation with Shane.
"Aren't you a little old to be here trying to start a fight with Shane?"
He inhaled slowly before he spoke. "I'm not here to see you or to start a fight with your new boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend."
He shrugged. "Seemed like he was when the two of you were kissing in public again."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the park today, Sherlyn. I saw you kissing him."
"I..."I shook my head. "That wasn't what you think, Darkwater. I was just—"
"I saw you initiate the kiss so don't bother trying to convince me not to believe my lying eyes." He turned away.
I grabbed his arm. "Thomas—"
He disengaged his arm. "Darkwater will do fine. And here's my date for the evening."
Bracing myself to see some tiny blonde approaching, I turned. Janine walked across the lot, spotted us, paused for several moments, looking indecisive.
I frowned. Surely, he didn't mean her.
When he turned and walked towards her and they embraced, I felt as if someone had ripped out my heart and shredded it into tiny pieces. Yes, I knew she was upset with me because of how things had turned out with Shane. Yes, I knew she felt I'd betrayed her with him, but that was not the same as her going out with the man she must know I still loved. That level of betrayal took my breath away and sent a shock of hurt through me I hadn't felt since Don's death.
Blinking back tears, I turned and walked towards my SUV.
"Sher. Sher, wait," Janine called out to me.
Without responding or looking around, I got in my vehicle and drove away. My phone rang several times during the next fifteen minutes. I ignored Janine's ringtone, Darkwater's, and finally Am's. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone to cry my heart out.
When I was sure Darkwater hadn't followed me, I parked on a quiet tree-lined street, and picked up my phone. I went through my calls until I found Shane's number. Taking a deep, calming breath, I called him.
"Sherlyn, what a nice surprise," he said when he answered.
"I...I...I need to talk," I whispered.
"What's wrong? Are you all right? Where are you? I'll come get you."
I looked around at the street signs and told him where I was.
"Are you all right?" he asked again.
"Physically? Yes. Emotionally? No."
"I'll be there in twenty minutes," he said and hung up.
* * *
Shane
As I left work and got in my car, I called John. "Do you know what's going on?" I asked after I'd told him of Sherlyn's call.
"Am and Janine have been calling her. Where is she? Am and I will go meet her and see her safely home."
I shook my head. "If she wanted to talk to either of you, she would have called you instead of me. I'm on my way to her now."
"Apparently, she's misunderstood Darkwater taking Janine out to dinner. Right now things between her and Janine are strained and have the potential for getting even worse, according to Am. Look, I know you like her, but don't get involved, Shane. Where is she?"
"I’m already involved, but not in the way you imagine. I like her but thanks to your warning, that's all I feel. Like and lust. She's still in love with him and my heart is still whole and in no danger. I'm going to meet her, but tell Am I'll call to let her know what's going on."
John sighed. "Shane—"
"It's all right, Johnny. I'm in no danger of falling in love with her, but I promised her I'd lend a shoulder if she needed one. That's all I'm going to do."
"Are you sure that's all you plan to do?"
"Yes."
"Please don't sleep with her, Shane."
I shrugged. "That's not my intention, but if she wants me to, I will. Talk to you later, Johnny," I said and hung up. I knew John was right and I should defer to his wish for him and Am to go to her. But I was pissed that the first woman I'd really been interested in getting to know emotionally as well as physically in a few years was in love with a man too stupid to appreciate what he had.
I wouldn't make the mistake of falling in love with her, but if she wanted or needed physical intimacy, I'd happily oblige. I suppose, given the circumstances, I liked her far more than I should. I wasn't going to sweat it because I really wasn't in any emotional danger since I knew she was still in love with the damned Darkwater.