Wonder Heroes 4.06

High above the Earth, both double phase-cloaked and hidden behind the moon, an alien starship maintained a perilous, secretive vigil. This starship lacked the sleekness and grace most people thought of when they imagined such craft. The ship seemed unsafe; cobbled together and patched haphazardly, with no thought given to aesthetics or design. Originally this was a small ship with little in the way of armament or protection, but over time it had grown, lumpy and tumorous, into a tangled knot of stolen and scavenged technology. A Saturn-like ring of garbage orbited lazily around it.

The ship creaked and groaned, threatening to break apart and expose its crew to the cruel death of cold, empty vacuum. At the main control station, multicolored lights flickered uncertainly, and the alien crew of sprats raced from station to station, patching faulty circuits, and forcing incompatible generators to power obsolete and dangerous systems. Tools, spare parts and stuff that was merely junk was strewn about everywhere. In the center of this chaos, firmly in command of this always leaking, never more than seventy percent functional starship was Spratsis 3 of 8.

On the main view screen was the broadcast from Earth that introduced the new Wonder Heroes, the planet’s defenders, to the world, and to the universe. Spratsis watched with great interest, if not understanding, as Wonder Hero Ultra continued to answer a question.

“I used to think the Gauntlets chose us because we were people of quality, so I overlooked Harlan’s sometimes obnoxious behavior,” said the Wonder Hero, “The signs were all there but I ignored them. He was constantly visiting Gargoyle in her cell. I thought he was researching. Oh yeah, researching.” Spratsis wondered as the human wriggled his clawless paw digits in the air.

Another human had his hand on the Wonder Hero’s shoulder from behind. To the discerning eye of Spratsis 3 of 8, the two humans looked nearly identical, save for the coloring of their respective clothing.

“Answered it my ass! Have I grieved my teammates? Four of the… I mean three of the best people this world has ever known, my best friends...”

To the human eye, there was not that much to differentiate Spratsis 3 of 8 from any of the rest of his species. He was brown, and his fur was matted and greasy due to the long space flight and a lack of water stored on the ship for anything other than drinking. He had small black eyes and sharp stained-yellow teeth. He wore robes that once, long ago, were fine and fashionable, but were now, many years later, tattered and filthy.

As Spratsis 3 of 8 listened to Wonder Hero Ultra, he thought that perhaps, just possibly, he had detected some sort of weakness. Entwining the digits of his fore paws he thought hard and came to a command decision.

“Bring me the human we captured!” Spratsis screamed at a lower order sprat that hurried to do its master’s bidding, “The alienist!”

Moments later a human prisoner was dragged to the command center from the cells below deck by two foul smelling lower order sprats. Spratsis could tell that the human was scared, as it should be. He also knew that the human would be eager to please, because it understood, in that dull, slow manner in which primates could be said to understand anything, that its life was dependent on obedience. The human was pasty pink in color, like a newborn nestling, and wore some sort of colorful uniform.

The onboard translation device, stolen years ago from a derelict spacecraft of unknown origins a thousand light years away, ground the human’s guttural utterances into basic patterns of meaning, and then reconstructed those patterns of meaning into a close approximation of words Spratsis 3 of 8 could understand. A sprat smile played over his sprat face. To the human, it looked like a pained grimace.

“You! Human-thing! You claim to be an expert on the…” began Spratsis, but the translator obliterated the last word of his sentence into shades of meaning so fragile they were lost on the human.

The human’s name was Robert Whittaker, Bobby, to his friends. He was an unemployed high school history teacher delivering pizzas to tide him over until a school district somewhere decided to hire him as more than an on-call substitute. On a delivery only two weeks ago, his classic green 1978 Gremlin was suddenly grabbed from above by a large rusty metal claw, and hoisted into the belly of an alien space ship. He soon found that he had been kidnapped by Spratsis 3 of 8, who had come to Earth to avenge the deaths of his brothers at the hands of the Wonder Heroes. Bobby Whittaker was taken so that he could share information about the Earth, its defenses, and its people.

Even if he had been an actual expert in these fields, Bobby Whitaker would never willingly betray his planet, so whenever Spratsis 3 of 8 questioned him, he did the only thing he could to save his life and protect the Earth. He lied.

“On my home world creatures such as you are vermin,” Spratsis 3 of 8 loved to remind Bobby of this, “but here, on your planet, the natural order has been upset, and it is my kind that is considered a pestilence. Is this not true?”

It was a trick question, of course. Agreeing meant that humans were, in the natural order of things, vermin. Disagreeing had the potential to anger his captor, and Spratsis had made it clear that he was prepared to toss Bobby into the vacuum of space the instant he was displeased by the human’s behavior. Bobby had no wish to join the ring of debris and trash orbiting the ship that he could see through the tiny porthole window in his cell.

“It’s true,” said Bobby, “We primates tricked the sprats in our prehistoric past, and usurped their rightful place,” and now we set traps for them and use them in laboratory experiments, thought Bobby, but said nothing of this aloud.

Spratsis 3 of 8 met Bobby Whittaker’s gaze, as if he could see the defiance brewing within the human “We’ve had this conversation before, haven’t we?”

On the main screen the press conference was over. Spratsis 3 of 8 gestured a paw at the screen and asked, “You watched the transmission from your cell?”

“Sadness,” Spratsis 3 of 8 shook his head ruefully, “imagine how empty must be the human conception of ‘sadness.’ I have suffered true sadness. When I was a mere nestling, and my brother, Spratsis 1 of 8 came to Earth in conquest, only to be murdered by these Wonder Heroes, I felt an overwhelming sadness, tempered only by my need for revenge. I watched my next brother lead a plague swarm in the name of vengeance, only to meet the same fate…”

Spratsis 3 of 8 leapt forward and in a flash lifted Bobby off the floor by the neck and pinned the hapless human to a bulkhead, his razor sharp rat claws inches from the human’s face. “Dead or captured means failure, human! To a Spratsis failure is death!”

Bobby was thrown aside by the powerful space rat, and landed hard on the dirty, debris-ridden floor. Lower order sprats, excited by the smell of blood, hissed and circled him, but none dared to move on the pet of Spratsis 3 of 8. Bobby pulled a sharp piece of metal from his arm, and held his hand over the puncture wound as blood welled there. He tried to remember the timing of his last tetanus shot, which was probably ten years ago, when he was fifteen. He imagined slowly dying of blood poisoning on this hellish ship and despaired.

Spratsis 3 of 8 stood tall and laughed at Bobby’s fear and pain. “I perceive that it is time to strike! A new, untested team of Wonder Heroes… their leader feeling ‘sad’…”

Yeah, time to join your brothers, thought Bobby, now all but forgotten by his captor and tormentor as he leaned against a bulkhead wall and kicked away a minor order sprat.

Spratsis 3 of 8 turned and climbed into his command chair, standing dramatically with one foot on the seat and the other on the chair’s back. He screamed his order to his nervous and obedient SpratHorde. “Take us to Earth!”

The press conference over, General Rumpole hustled the new team of Wonder Heroes out of the makeshift auditorium and through the hallway towards the elevators. The tension was palpable. The General radiated a bottled anger that demanded space and no one stood closer than two feet from him, despite the tight confines of the elevator. Together they dropped, inertia-less and silently, to level three, where a spacious and modern conference room awaited them.

They entered the room, each taking a seat in one of the comfortable and color-coded office chairs, ignoring the breakfast cart that had been wheeled in and parked by the windows. Susan longed for coffee, but there was a sense among those assembled that they needed to get right down to business.

Jay, Wonder Hero Jet, was the only one who seemed unaware of the tension, or, if he was aware, he did not let it stop him from saying, “Man o’ man. That was something Matt. You really gave it to those reporters…”

The General slammed his fist into the table, silencing Jay and startling everyone. “Dammit Matt! I know it’s been tough but you’ve got to watch what you say. The world, hell, the universe was watching!”

Susan shot Jay a look, and Jay looked around the table, where everyone save Matt stared at him, finally shaming him into silence. Jay’s mood shifted from arrogance and energy to quiet sulkiness. He petulantly crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

How could the gauntlet have chosen anyone so clueless? Susan thought, but she quickly put that aside and turned her attention towards Matt and the General.

“If we betray weakness, at a time like this,” continued the General, in a more conciliatory voice, “we open ourselves up for an attack.”

Theodore stood up and called after Matt as the door to the conference room opened silently. “Matt! I’m not Harlan, man. Give me a chance.”

Matt paused in the doorway, sighed, and turned around. He looked Theodore in the eyes. “It’s not you. It’s the uniform. The color. I’m tired, is all.”

As Matt paused uncertainly in the doorway, an alarm sounded, and the Wonder Computer interrupted the conversation. “There is a situation in Calgary that requires the immediate attention of the Wonder Heroes. I have already set the coordinates and will brief the team en route.”

The change in Matt was instantaneous. Tired or not, he now had a mission to perform. He looked across the room at the General, who nodded his assent. Matt looked at his new team, now all rising from their chairs. “Follow me, people.”

The Wonder Heroes followed Matt out of the room. Last out was Jay, who slammed his right hand into his left palm as he said, “All right! Now we’ll get some real action!”

The Wonder Computer updated the team as they walked quickly through the hallway. “An alien ship has decloaked near an abandoned warehouse. Initial scans indicate a composite design, with over a ninety percent probability of Spratsis origin.”

Matt did not slow his pace as he responded, “It’s the third. The first one died and the second one is in the tombs. We always figured there’d be more.”

Theodore put on a brave smile and said, “Yeah, sure. I’m used to people not liking me. I make a crappy first impression.” Theodore brightened and smiled for real as he continued, “Our first mission, and we’re going up against a Spratsis. That’s kind of cool.”

Susan tried to remember what she could about the Spratsis, and quickly realized that she knew almost nothing about the species. “Are you nervous?” she asked.

A door slid open and the team entered the teleportation room. Matt’s Wonder Armor flowed from his gauntlet, and in a flash he was Wonder Hero Ultra. “Okay gang, suit up.”

Susan summoned her armor. Her armor appeared and her visor instantly fed her a torrent of information about the Spratsis and the situation in Calgary. With a thought she toned down the neural flow and dismissed the readings. “We haven’t trained at all,” she said.

Jay suddenly realized he was the only one in the room not suited up. He summoned his armor and together he and Kalomo marched onto their telepads. Before another word could be spoken, the Wonder Computer activated the telepads and the Wonder Heroes were gone.