My head aches. The first thing I’m aware of is the smell. It’s different from the scent of the city and rainfall. It doesn't all smell of cold steel. It’s warm, manly-cologne. God, it’s been so long since I inhaled anything so nice. My stomach shifts, and I groan to hold down the bile in my stomach. I open one eye first. A beige, shaggy rug is under me. My fingers immediately separate as I sink them into the fibers to try to keep myself from spewing everywhere. I open my other eye and the room comes into focus. I’m in a living space. Four short legs of a coffee table are in front of me. A black leather couch is beyond that. The cushions on the couch are the same beige as the rug under my hands. My gaze skitters to the ceiling where pin lights shine down on me. I close my eyes as a new wave of pain assaults my head. Hairs rise on the back of my neck as footsteps ring out close to me. A wave of dizziness sends the room into a spin. I know I shouldn’t move, but I slowly draw my legs up to my chest.
“I know you’re awake.”
My eyes pop open, my heart threatens to explode from my chest. What will he do to me? He killed that man without hesitating. A whimper pulls from my lips.
He bends down and places a finger over his lips. “Shhh.”
I want to close my eyes, I want to disappear, but I fear if I blink that he’ll hurt me. My jaw feels like it’s being wound up too tightly, like it might shatter at any moment.
His dark eyes roam across my face. My heart beat thrashes in my ears and I can no longer hear any other sound. Even as he stands back up—it’s soundless. He turns and leaves me, my fingers tighten around the shaggy rug. He’s going to get his gun, he’s going to end me now. I never had my Mars bar. I swallow the bile that rises in my throat again. Over the pounding of my heart I can make out the sound of running water. My gaze darts around the room for a weapon. A large red and black lamp sits on a table beside the couch. I could use the lamp, I could hit him with the brass end.
The water stops running. My hands dig further into the rug.
Move, Scar.
If I get the lamp, I can hit him over the head and escape. I’m playing out my next move in my head, but my body won’t move. I’m afraid to move. He returns, holding a glass of water that he has no doubt laced with poison. He kneels down and like I’m some dog and he pushes it close to my lips. “Drink.” His words are sharp.
The glass clangs against my teeth as I attempt to keep my cracked lips pressed together. A whimper slips from my open mouth as he pours the water in. My throat works by automatically swallowing and consuming what he gives. The cold water travels right down to my aching and empty stomach. He pulls the glass back and stares down at me.
“I don’t want you to speak.” He nods after his words.
The water in my stomach rebels and I try to focus on his face, focus on something so the liquid doesn’t come up.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing with you yet, but this is my home. No one will ever find you. You need to resign yourself to that fact. You will never leave.”
I swallow more bile. His mouth moves again but my heartbeat takes over my hearing. It rushes blood too fast through my body and the corner of my vision fades. If I were standing, I wouldn’t be able to keep upright. I take a breath in through my nose and slowly let it out through my mouth.
His lips stop moving and fear chokes me. The glass is pushed against my lips again and he pours the remainder of the water into my mouth. My stomach quivers when the water hits it.
“You look like a Kate. So that’s your name. That’s what you answer to. Nod if you understand.”
What? I’m bobbing my head.
“Do you want more water?”
I swallow more saliva that pools in my mouth, and nod.
He seems pleased as he rises and leaves me. My gaze snaps to the lamp again. It’s a weird moment, a moment of clarity. I’ve been kidnapped and I am now this man's prisoner.
I shift my hand and it’s all I need. I rise and the room tilts. I hear the running water as I crawl over to the table. The lamp, just focus on the lamp. That’s all that matters, the lamp. With shaking hands I reach for the lamp and slowly take it down off the table. It’s attached to a plug in the floor. I unplug it and wait. The water isn’t running. I hear his footsteps returning to me. His feet appear.
“What are you doing?”
I slowly look up at him and stand as my insides sway. I can’t stop the liquid that rushes up my throat as I spew the contents across his boots. He jumps back, the glass falls from his fingers and shatters across the wooden floor. I’m moving towards him as my eyes burn from getting sick. The lamp is so heavy, it feels like it’s made of marble. I raise it with both hands and with every bit of strength I possess, I slam it down on his head. He stares at me with wide eyes briefly stunned as I bring the lamp down again. Blood runs down the side of his face and my stomach roils.
I’m waiting for him to fall over from the blow, but he continues to stare at me.
Run, Scar.
The bang of the lamp when it hits the ground has me running across the wooden floor, which changes to a hard marble flooring. I pass a kitchen and move down a long white corridor. He isn’t following me. I turn each door handle, trying to find a way to the outside world. Each door has my pulse spiking: bedroom, bathroom, a gym, a living space. The last door I open, I pause. The walls are decorated with guns from floor to ceiling. I’ve never held a gun in my life, never mind fired one.
“Kate!”
My body locks up as he calls my name. My legs refuse to move as cold air creeps over me. I want to curl up—or let him get me—so this ends.
“Kate!”
The sound of my name leaving his lips is the key that unlocks me and I grab a gun off the wall. He enters the room and I spin, holding it up.
“I’ll shoot.” Tears leak from my eyes as I speak.
He holds up both hands and pauses in the doorway. The gun must be loaded. I blink and more tears fall. “Move into the room.”
He takes a step towards the wall.
“The other side!” My hands tremble and I try to steady the gun. He listens to me and moves to the other side of the room with his hands still in the air.
He takes a step towards me.
“Stop!” My stomach roils and I swallow the sick this time. “You stay back.” I warn him.
He pauses. Blood still runs from the side of his face. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to leave.
“Don’t move.” I remind him as I walk backwards toward the door. “Don’t follow me.” I add.
My words have a calming effect on me. They’re telling me I’m in control and I will survive this. That it’s okay. This is a blip in my messed up life.
He takes a step towards me and when he lowers his hands, I hold the gun higher.
“I will shoot you.” I plead with my words for him not to make me become a killer. He takes another step and tears leak from my eyes.
“Please!” He keeps walking and he’s going to reach me and kill me, I see the brutality in his eyes.
My eyelids flutter closed as I pull the trigger. The snap has me opening my eyes. It should have been a bang, not a snap. My eyes clash with his and I keep pulling the trigger; each time fear consumes me. The gun’s empty. His dark eyes tell me he already knew that.
He reaches me and pulls the gun from my hand. It hits the ground hard and sails across the wooden floor. Heavy hands grab my arms and I’m airborne, my head hits his back as he slings me over his shoulder. I’m frozen as the world blurs around me. The pendant on my necklace swings in front of my face like a pendulum. My fists hit his back as he carries me further down the white corridor.
“No!” I keep pounding my fists on his back and wriggling, but he doesn’t stop or react. The upside down world blurs and rights itself as he releases me and I land on something soft. I bounce a few times and try to regain my balance. I don’t have a second to process anything as steel wraps around my wrists. I yank my arms back and kick out at him, but he clamps the chains around the steel bed frame. My arms are stretched above me as I pull, fear claws its way up my throat.
I’m trapped.
I’m facedown on the bed. He rams my face into the blankets and for a moment it’s like being underwater. The small sounds around me are amplified. He pushes down on my head a few times, I think he’s shaking me. I close my eyes and try to go someplace else. I’ve been here before. This place of darkness—but it’s quiet.
The darkness shatters as his hand grips the back of my neck, the sound rushes back in as he forces my body deeper into the bed. The heaviness of his body has my chest tightening. His erection brushes against my ass and the air stills in my lungs.
He’s going to rape me.
“Nooo!” I buck my body while I scream, spit and shout. I can’t control the absolute terror that assaults me. “Nooo!”
I’m screaming. He’s shouting and I can’t silence the fear in me. My head is pushed down into the bed again. His breath is quick against my ear.
“Shut up.” His words are like a gunshot that pierce through my veil of terror. “Just shut up.” He’s breathing heavily and I want to leave this place. A sob tears from me and he rams my head into the blanket one final time before the bed creaks and the weight of him vanishes. The slam of the door has more tears falling, as I cling to the quilts and try to find an anchor to hold me together. The air grows thinner. I sit up as far as my restraints will allow. My hair is plastered to the side of my sweaty and tear soaked face. He’s gone. My eyes confirm what my mind had already told me. I’m alone. I want to scream. I want to lash out. I want my freedom. Turning my head into my arm I sink my teeth into my jacket, it penetrates all the way to my flesh. The pain is instant and registers with me, I sink my teeth deeper until that’s all I am, one huge ball of pain. I release my burning skin. My pulse pounds in my gums as I yank my arm. I fall slightly back as the cuffs come away from the bed. A small gap at the top of the steel bar has allowed them to slip through. I’m staring at my hands, wondering if I’ve passed out and I’m dreaming. I quickly stand and push my hair out of my face with my joined hands.
The door handle is heavy as I wrap my trembling fingers around the cool steel and I push down on it. The click of the door is like a gunshot. He never locked the door. Hope blossoms inside me. I can escape.