Soon, we were back on his jet and soaring through the air over the midwest. Hugh was in bright spirits that morning and so was I. I felt off though, like maybe things were happening too fast.
“Is this too fast?” I asked him, leaning closer. He was sitting opposite of me, his legs crossed. His gaze was wandering out the window.
He looked at me. “Us? I don’t think so...”
I swallowed spit. I shook my head, but I didn’t really know why.
“Okay. It’s just, everything is so intense you know?”
He nodded. “Is that bad?”
“Maybe it isn’t... just different,” I said. I sat up in my seat a little, a sense of relief washing over me.
“Different is good. I need different.”
The hum of the airplane droned on. So much flying. I thought having a week off from it would be relaxing, but even still, it was a little much. I decided to try and doze off for the rest of the flight. As I was closing my eyes, I saw him study me, his eyes flicking up and down my body. I smirked a little.
***
The rumble of the wheels hitting the tarmac woke me up with a start, and I sat up quickly. I wiped drool off my face, and looked around to see if Hugh had seen me in such an embarrassing way.
He looked startled too, so he must’ve just woken up.
I laughed. “Did it wake you up too?”
“Y-yeah, I usually can’t sleep on planes...” He ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to fix it.
Hugh followed me as I exited the plane, and he poked me in my ribs, making me to laugh.
***
We picked up his car and drove home. I don’t know if I should have called it home, but it felt right. I even had to admit that the interior design was really charming, which I don’t think I could have managed when I first found out. Not honestly at least.
She had good taste, I had to give her that much.
It felt nice to not have such a strong animosity towards her. Talking to Hugh helped me see that he wasn’t trying to antagonize or trick me with his ring, just that he might have been as confused as I was.
I sighed as I dropped my bags unceremoniously in the entryway. I didn’t care to unload them that moment — I was too hungry. He moved past me to take his luggage into the bedroom.
“Aren’t you starving?” I called after him.
His voice came from the hallway, “Definitely. Want me to whip something up?” I heard his luggage crash on the ground in the bedroom. I sighed and picked my suitcase up, figuring I might as well take it into the bedroom too. “How about some chicken clubs?”
“That sounds good,” I said. We ran into each other in the hall, and I added, “I’m going to take a quick shower then.”
“Great, I’ll get started.” He clapped his hands together with a smile. He seemed happy to be home too.
I was going to be happy just getting showered and fed. After the last week, I felt like I could take on anything.
***
In the bathroom, I turned on the hot water. I let the spray hit the shower wall before I climbed in.
As I started soaking my hair, I thought about waking up next to Hugh that morning. His strong arms, his smooth chest, his confessing his love to me.
“God, why didn’t we fuck?”
I daydreamed about him scooping me up in his arms and throwing me onto his bed. My fingers wandered down my body, tracing the water until I reached between my legs.
Better yet, he could take me right on the balcony, my hands tied to the railing and his hips slapping against my ass. His hot dick coating my insides. I’d have to spread my legs out pretty far for him to have room. The desert breeze would kick up and tickle my dewy body. I’d squeeze the rails as he pushed into me, and I’d moan, reaching behind me and groping his ass.
“Oh god, that sounds really hot,” I muttered to myself. I brushed my hand back against my clit, giving myself a tantalizing tease.
I’d have to save it though, maybe later I could convince Hugh to have his way with me again.
After rinsing, I shut the water off. As I dried my hair as best I could, I got an idea. I wrapped my towel around my body and went out into the kitchen to meet him.
He looked surprised to see me, a dirty look in his eyes. “That’s lovely,” he breathed.
I dropped my towel to the floor before stepping out of it. He was still fully clothed in his suit, but I was completely naked. His eyes widened, and I felt that sense of heat flow from him.
“Do you want me? Right here in the kitchen?”
“Mhmm,” he grunted, stepping closer to me. He set down the cutting board he was holding and cupped my breast. I quivered under his touch, goosebumps coating my skin.
He leaned down and kissed my breast, before taking my nipple in his mouth with his lips. He tongued it, and sucked on it like a piece of hard candy.
I moaned, feeling my knees grow weak to his touch. I leaned onto his arm that was wrapped around me, giving him a better angle to suck on my tits.
“You like that?” he gasped for air. I nodded slowly, my damp hair slicking off my upper back.
He grabbed my hands and put them on the edge of the counter. “Don’t let go of this counter. Whatever you do.”
I nodded, feeling my cheeks turn red. I loved the tone he adopted when he told me what to do.
“Yes, whatever you say.” I eyed him.
“Don’t be coy, just grab the counter,” he said. I shuddered as I did. My knuckles turned white, and I leaned over the granite. He moved behind me, his hand staying on top of my back.
He put his hands between my thighs and coaxed me to spread my legs out. I did, still holding the counter, almost balancing some of my weight on it.
He knelt down and I felt his tongue taste my skin. It moved between my thighs. He slid his tongue against my pussy, tickling each fold and drinking me up.
My arms grew weaker, my legs dropping some slack as I collapsed against the counter. My elbows shot out from under me, and my tits pressed against the cold granite. He slurped and drank me up.
“Don’t let go of the counter, Cay.”
His tongue was moving further south, more than I thought it should. I gasped as his tongue hit my asshole. I moaned in a mixture of surprise and shock, as he licked me over and over again, swirling his tongue around my rim.
He growled, “You like that? You’re a dirty girl aren't you?” I nodded hard, my hair falling onto my face.
He stood up and started unbuckling his pants. I shivered in lurid anticipation, my breathing shallow and fast. My heart raced in my palms, my ears burning. I pushed myself up off the counter, some of my strength coming back.
I felt the smooth tip of his cock glide against my pussy, moving between my lips and coaxing my clit. I seized again, falling back against the counter with a light slap of skin.
Before he penetrated me, I felt his fingers slowly wrap around my neck. He slid them underneath my hair, and his smooth hands tickled me.
As he plunged his cock into me, he squeezed and made me gasp for air. My vision blurred with tears for a moment. A second later, he released his grip on my neck, his cock fully inside me. It was a blur, but I couldn’t believe how hot it got me.
“Don’t go slow,” I begged him.
He eased out of me with an agonizing pace. “I don’t think you’re the one to give orders right now,” he said. A chuckle escaped his lips. He pushed his cock back into me, and I tried to thrust my hips back into him, to make him go faster.
He paced me, squeezing my ass. He laughed. “Nice try,” he said. “But I’m in control.”
I looked at him over my shoulder, and saw the difficulty in his eyes. He wasn’t having an easy time restraining himself either.
I swear I could feel every textured inch of that shaft run through me. I gasped and moaned loudly, my voice echoing through the kitchen.
“That’s fucking hot,” he finally relented. He started fucking me harder, his balls slapping against my skin with every powerful thrust. I felt like I was getting rocked, my skin rubbing hard against the granite with every tempestuous stroke.
“Shit, Hugh,” I cried out. “Right there, keep going.”
“I would, but...” he grunted, slowing his pace for a moment, “I don’t have a condom on.”
“I don’t care, I’ll take care of it,” I said. I looked at him again, and he nodded. His groans grew closer and shallower, and I started to realize what was happening. I gasped, and a hot wave of energy rippling through me, blinding me. I convulsed, my pussy feeling white hot with him inside me. He thrust a couple more times, then pulled out.
I hopped off the counter and knelt down in front of him, pulling his cock in my mouth. He grunted for a moment, and I felt his load spill onto my tongue. I drank him down, every suck making him shudder with impossible pleasure. He twitched and sighed heavily, before pulling his cock out of my mouth. I kissed him, giving him a sly look.
“Shit, you’re dangerous. I nearly came inside you.”
“Oh man, that would’ve been bad,” I teased him. “But so hot.”
He nodded, his forehead glistening with sweat.
He pulled his pants back on and buckled them. I felt my stomach and realized how hungry I really was now that I was worn out. “Now I’m starving.”
***
We sat to eat at the table and I didn’t bother getting dressed. Just being naked in his house felt so freeing. “This sandwich is amazing,” I said, smacking my lips.
He laughed a little, “You’re absolutely glowing you know.”
“Shouldn’t I be?” I shot him a coy smile.
He glanced at his watch. “Would it be okay if I dashed into town? Scott wanted to see me.”
“When did that happen?” I licked my fingers.
“He called me when you were in the bathroom. I guess James must’ve told him I was back in town.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I should be fine.”
“Okay good. I’ll pick something up for you,” he said with a wink. He stood up and gathered our plates and put them in the dishwasher. I watched him move around the kitchen, just studying him.
“I’ll only be gone a little bit...” He looked around, and his expression softened. “Make yourself at home.” He kissed me, which started as a simple peck on the lips, but grew into something more passionate. I held on to him as long as possible, his lips moving against mine, light gasps of air between us.
“Okay, okay.” I pushed him away with a smile, “You should get going.”
He beamed and went out the front door.
I let the air settle, while the idea that I was completely alone in his huge condo dawned on me. I moved to the couch, turning on the television and using a pillow as a makeshift blanket. I refused to get dressed.
***
The late afternoon sun peeked through the blinds into the living room. It was cool inside, but it looked miserable out there. I grew bored of watching TV and decided to do a little snooping around. Maybe he did have some pictures of me?
I looked around at all the decorations, until I came across a small table with a bunch of picture frames on it. I stood up from the couch, my curiosity piqued.
I picked one frame up. Looked like Marcia and Hugh, enjoying some sunny day. I felt a twinge of sadness and happiness. He looked happy.
Tucked underneath the table was a photo album. Now I really shouldn’t dig, but a peek couldn’t hurt. I pulled the album out and sat on the floor in front of it. It isn’t a competition, I reminded myself, as I opened the first page.
Wedding pictures of Marcia and Hugh. Each picture had a caption, including who took it. A polaroid on the first page was signed by both of them, with a fancy plus-symbol between their names. They had their arms around each other, and were both laughing.
It was a nice picture, but I felt... confused. A little irrational.
But now I was transfixed. I kept going through the pictures, finding ones of Hugh’s dad and Marcia, toasting. Hugh and his best man. Hugh and Marcia eating their cake. Each page kept building this anxiety in me, and I felt my chest tighten each time.
The last page was just her, a candid. It stood out from the rest because she wasn’t in her wedding gown. It was dated before the wedding anyway. The flash had caught her, but it was surprisingly flattering.
It wasn’t secured against the page like the rest, so I pulled it off. On the back was a little letter, signed by her.
“Hugh - you took this the first day we met. Had I known what would happen between us, I would look even happier in this picture. I feel so lucky to be with you, and I can’t wait to grow old in your arms. -Yours forever, Marci”
As I finished reading it, I noticed my hand was shaking. It didn’t matter how many times I told myself I wasn’t competing with her, I just couldn’t believe it. That if I was a better match for him, he wouldn’t have such a hard time getting over her, right? I fought back my tears, and put the picture back the way I found it. I felt like it was written to upset me. I wanted to tear it up, but I stopped myself. I put the album back. My face felt hot.
What is Hugh doing with me anyway? Why would he want to be with me? Was it to try and re-live some kind of high school dream?
I wanted to grab his hand, and tear that ring off. I wanted to take it and throw it into the trash. Tears would be pouring down my face, but not out of sadness, but desperate anger.
“Am I not good enough?” I would scream at him.
He’d be silent, and that would be all the answer I needed. I’d walk out the door, and go back to my shitty town, with my shitty parents and my shitty friends. What was the point anyway?
***
An hour or two of bad TV shows later, Hugh came home. He was smiling when I meant him at the door, but his expression faded when he saw me.
“Anything wrong?” He asked as he shut the door behind him.
“What’d Scott want to see you about?”
“Oh, nothing much. He just wanted to bullshit a little, see if I was happy with you.”
“What’d you tell him?” I still felt a little weird.
“I said I hadn’t been as happy in years.” He gave me a kiss. “Do you want to go get dinner tonight?”
It was getting pretty late in the day. I looked at the couch and coffee table, it was littered with snack food wrappers and trash. He added, “Oh, maybe you’re not hungry enough.”
“No I’m actually really hungry. I think that sounds really nice. What did you have in mind?”
“I know a good place downtown. I can get us reservations,” he snapped his fingers, “like that. You should wear your dress.”
I laughed, “I have to use it for something I suppose. I’ll get ready.”
***
Dinner was just a little bit across town. The building was silhouetted against the setting sun. Inside, the atmosphere was dark but warm, a kind of nostalgic sensation pricked the back of my neck when I stepped into the air conditioned entry. My hair was brought up into a bun, keeping it off my sticky neck.
The host didn’t look pleased to see us. There were already some people waiting near the front door, albeit in comfortable seating. After Hugh told the host who we were, the host’s expression brightened immediately.
“Right this way Mr. Evans.” The host grabbed two menus and led us to our table, another secluded spot near the back of the restaurant. It was a little warm to be sitting outside.
I stared at my menu, feeling overwhelmed with the choices. “What should I get?”
“Don’t worry about picking, I’ll make sure it's good.” He winked at me. I sighed with relief and gave him my menu. I just wanted to turn off for the night and enjoy. After the waiter came back, Hugh ordered us both the bison filet.
“That’s an excellent choice, how would you like those steaks done?”
Hugh glanced at me and nodded. “I’ll have mine medium and she’ll have her’s medium-rare.” As the waiter scribbled down the order and collected our menus, I grinned at Hugh. “We’ll also have a bottle of your finest cabernet sauvignon.” Our waiter nodded silently and left us alone.
I leaned forward. “You remembered that I like my steak to be able to kick off the plate?”
“Of course,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I try to remember everything.”
I mused. “That’s quite a responsibility.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
***
The steaks came and were delicious. Melt-in-my-mouth delicious. I savored each bite, giving Hugh a performance with my exaggerated moans.
“Ha-ha,” he joked. “Is it actually good?”
I nodded hard and swallowed. “It’s way too good honestly. You’re spoiling me.”
“Impossible.” He clenched his hand into a fist. I noticed his breathing seemed a little shallow.
“What’s wrong?”
He shook his head hard, and pushed away from the table. He moved closer to me, and knelt down on one knee. My heart started racing, blood pounding in my ears. My hands grew clammy and weak. I squeezed my knees together with my hands.
He pulled a small box out of his pocket, and presented it to me. He clicked it open.
“Caitlin Winters, I know this seems rushed and crazy, but I didn’t think I’d find happiness again.” I gulped down another swallow of wine. My hands were shaking, so I squeezed my thighs through my dress. “Will you marry me?”
His hand was still wearing his wedding ring, from before, from Marcia Evans. I thought about the photo album I found.
“Hugh... stand up.” My voice betrayed my nervousness. I wanted to sound powerful, but I couldn’t. I felt weak, and on the verge of tears. Wasn’t this what I wanted? What I was dreaming of?
He stood up, slowly. His expression changed, and he frowned heavily.
“I don’t think I can Hugh,” I whispered. I pointed at his hand, mine shaking from the tide of emotions I was trying to hold back. “You’re still wearing your wedding band... I’ve been terrified to bring it up, but now I feel forced to.” He put the box with the ring in it, still open, on the table. “I can’t marry you if you’re still in love with Marcia.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, exactly what I was afraid would happen. I fought to try and keep them down, clenching my eyes shut. It only made them worse. The knotted ball in my chest rose, and I choked it down. “I want to say yes, god knows I want to say yes. Until I met you I thought I would be doomed to float from man to man, never satisfied with what I found in each one. No one in college could fill the hole you left me with, Hugh.” I pounded my fist on my leg, trying to stem back the flow. “No one.”
He looked at his lap, and was probably touching his wedding ring. “I thought I’d never be happy after Marcia.” He took off his wedding band. The first time I had ever seen him do that.
He put it on the table. “Until I met you again.”
“You can’t do that. Put it back on.”
He shook his head.
“Hugh. If you really were ready to marry me, to propose to me of all things, you wouldn’t have forgotten to take that off first. It only betrays you. I’m sorry, I can’t marry you, and feel like I’m...” My voice cracked, “just replacing someone who isn’t here anymore.”
He nodded slowly, and grabbed the box. “That’s not true... you know,” he mumbled. He dragged the box back across the table, leaving ripples in the tablecloth.
After it fell back into his lap, he put it in his pocket.
My makeup was ruined, black mascara smeared on my napkin. I poured another glass of wine, and sat in silence.
I managed to finish the bottle of wine, almost entirely by myself. I ordered another bottle and started drinking that too. Hugh protested, but I brushed him off. I wanted it. I needed it.
The rest of the dinner was a wash, Hugh didn’t speak much. I almost felt bad, like I might have cut into him too deep. But I couldn’t forgive him at that moment.
What was he thinking anyway? What was I thinking?
***
Hugh unlocked the door to his condo and I stumbled in, my arm wrapped around his neck. He wasn’t as amused as I was. Or as drunk.
“Caitlin?” He seemed worried.
I smiled at him, oblivious. “Hey stud.”
He seemed to be looking through me. “Are you okay?”
I pawed at him, grabbing his shirt. “What would make it right? What if I pretend I’m Marcia? Should I dye my hair? Would that make you happy?”
“You’re being ridiculous. You aren’t here to replace her.”
“Aren’t I though?” I started unbuttoning his shirt. “How did she talk?” I adopted a bad british accent, “How would you like it Mr. Evans?”
“Stop,” Hugh said, but he didn’t move. I finished unbuttoning his shirt, and I started pulling it off his shoulders. I left it gathered at his wrists.
“’Stop, you’re drunk, you’re not replacing her,’ I mimicked him. “I thought you were the rich and powerful Hugh Evans? The man who left me for college, who is the vice president of a company?”
“Not tonight, I’m not.” He wasn’t looking at me anymore. I kissed his neck, biting him a little. He pushed into me, and I felt him growing again. His member pushed against my thighs.
I had to hold onto his arms to keep my balance on top of him, otherwise I’d fall over.
He stared at me, his lips parted.
“Don’t you like me, Hugh?” I said, “Why aren’t you taking those clothes off?”
He was growing irritated. “Why do you think I proposed to you?”
I looked at him, confused.
“You’ve had too much.”
I went into the kitchen, bumping against the counter. I pulled down a bottle of rum, managing to slip the cap off and take a swallow before Hugh seized it from me.
I glared at him. “W-What are you doing?” I still had my hand out, as if he’d give it back to me.
He slipped his arms under me again, jostling me. The room was spinning, and the motion sent me reeling even more. Suddenly I felt faint and all wrong inside.
“Bathroom. I need the bathroom.” I motioned for the bedroom. He carried me into the bathroom, and set me down in front of the toilet. “I think if I puke I’ll feel better.”
“I think I need to take you to the hospital.”
“God damn I won’t. Alright?” I gripped the edges of the toilet basin. “Just get me some aspirin or something,” I pointed at the cabinet, before losing my balance and swinging my face down into the toilet. He moved away from me to retrieve some medicine. Everything was numb and dark. I only knew he moved because the heat that he was giving off vanished.
He came back after what felt like hours. I was getting worse. Any sense of jubilation was fading quickly. My heart was racing, and I felt like my entire body needed to curl up and die.
“I need to take you.” He tried to slip an arm under me and lift me.
“Now now, I’ve been worse off before.” I tried to wave him away. I groaned, leaning deeper into the basin.
“No!” His voice startled me. He looked frantic, confused, upset. “You’re blue Caitlin. I’m taking you.”
I vomited, feeling almost nothing move. The water was tinged red.
“Oh my god,” I shook, adrenaline coursing through me. “Is that blood?”
Hugh was already on the phone, calling an ambulance to pick me up. I tried to focus on him, but I was too dizzy. I collapsed on the the floor.