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Michelle thrashed from side to side. Something heavy covered her. She was afraid to look, afraid to see the blood, the bear. “Luther...”
“Hush, lie still.”
A rough hand patted hers, and she opened her eyes.
“Luther, I thought—” She froze and snatched her hand from beneath Black Elk’s. “What are you doing in here? Where’s Luther?”
“Settle down.”
“No. Where’s Luther?” She struggled to sit up, but the heavy stack of blankets and pelts piled on top of her weighed her down. Black Elk grasped her shoulders.
“Let me go.” She fought with what little strength she had. After a few moments, she collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted.
“Be still. Owl Feathers is hunting with Redfeather. He will return soon.”
“Where did he go? He said he wouldn’t leave me.”
“Do you ever listen? He went with Redfeather this morning. He did not wish to, but Redfeather insisted.”
Morning? She glanced out the window. The midday sun dappled on the orange and yellow maples outside. Her body felt achy and sluggish. How long had she been asleep? The last thing she remembered after her bath was drinking the bitter tea Redfeather had made. That was yesterday. Why was Black Elk still here?
“You were supposed to leave yesterday morning, before you dragged Luther hunting and nearly got him killed. Why are you still here?” she snarled, not trying to hide the bitterness in her voice.
“Not yesterday, Ayasha. The day before. You slept all of yesterday.” Black Elk licked his lips. “Redfeather is a wise man. He talks to Owl Feathers while I sit here and watch you.”
“There’s no need to watch over me. I’m fine. I may be a disgrace, but I can be left alone for a few hours. Luther even lets me cook for myself,” she spat.
Black Elk’s shoulders slumped. She was glad her words had hurt him. He deserved it. “Now leave, so I can get out of bed.”
“No.” Black Elk’s long braids swished from side to side as he shook his head. “Owl Feathers said you are to rest until he returned. I will not go against that.”
“Since when have you ever listened to what he said?” She slid to the opposite side of the bed and pulled the blankets and pelts down. She was surprised to see she wore one of Luther’s long-sleeved flannel shirts and her black wool skirt. The room spun as she stood. Black Elk ran to her side and caught her around the waist before she fell.
“You are weak. Your spirit has not yet regained its strength.”
“My spirit?” Michelle closed her eyes and waited for the dizziness to pass. She allowed Black Elk to help her into a chair. She was in no condition to fight him. “When is Luther coming back?”
“A few hours. They will walk for a long time. Are you hungry? I made food. You should eat.”
Michelle leaned her elbows on the table and cradled her head in her hands. Her throat felt raw, and it burned when she swallowed. How dare Redfeather take Luther away and leave her alone with this horrible man.
Black Elk knelt in front of the fireplace and scooped something from the cooking pot onto plates. He carried the dishes to the table.
“What’s this?”
“Rice and duck. It is good.” He placed a tin cup of water in front of her and sat.
Michelle folded her arms across her chest. “Why are you being nice to me? You hate me.”
Black Elk cleared his throat. “You need to build your strength after what the bear did to you.”
She ignored him. She didn’t want to think about the bear. “How is Luther’s shoulder?” What if the wound crippled him for life? She shivered as she recalled the horrible monster swatting him to the ground.
Black Elk spooned rice into his mouth. “Redfeather sewed the wound after Owl Feathers tended to you. He refused to sit still until then. He was quite upset after almost losing his wife.”
She pushed the pieces of duck around on her plate. Black Elk’s tone of voice had softened. He almost sounded concerned. Why was he talking to her like this?
“A wife should obey when her husband gives an order. She should not ignore his wishes. Owl Feathers told you to stay. I told you to stay and not to run from the bear. You—”
“I had to. If I hadn’t turned the bear away from Luther, it would have killed him. You should be happy I ignored Luther’s order. At least I tried to do something to help him. Where were you? I didn’t see you rushing out to save your son’s life. Then again, why would I expect you to? You never cared about him, you hate him and—”
“You acted very brave.”
Her spoon slipped through her fingers and clattered to the table. “What?”
“Brave.” Black Elk repeated. “To throw yourself in front of the bear to save Owl Feathers showed great courage. You had no fear. Many warriors I know would not have been so bold as to challenge the bear.”
“I couldn’t let it kill him. I love him, and he’s the only man who’s ever cared about me.” She paused. “I had to go with him yesterday. I’d had a dream that he’d been killed.”
Black Elk nodded and ate more rice. “The spirits watched over you. Now eat, and tell me of this dream.”
Michelle drank some water and tried to wash away the bitter taste in her mouth and throat. Despite Black Elk’s kind gestures, she still didn’t trust him. “Why? So you can make fun of me?”
“No, Ayasha. Dreams are signs from the spirits.”
“That’s what Redfeather said. I’ve had strange dreams before. I had one about me dying. I was covered in blood and—” She gasped. “It came true! I was—”
“We thought you were dead. Owl Feathers refused to let you go. He believed you were alive, and he was right.”
She recalled the last few seconds of the bear attack. “I remember shooting the gun and blood covering me, then everything went dark.”
“The bear knocked you out. Its life-force spilled into you as it died. You must love Owl Feathers very much to risk dying for him.”
“Yes. We love each other. Why can’t you see that? Why isn’t that enough for you?”
“It will not last. You will become weary after a few winters and regret leaving your people. One day you will grow tired of this life and be lured back by money or ease of living.”
“That’s not true. I gave that all up when I came here. None of that matters to me.”
“You do not know of what you speak. You will change. You are emotional, weak...”
“You don’t know me. I’m not like her.” Her, that’s how Luther’s mother was referred to, as her. Never by her name, just her. She didn’t know what the woman’s name was, and she didn’t care. “You think I’m like her, but I’m not. I love Luther. I won’t leave him for anything.”
“What have you been told about his mother? He speaks of her?”
She trailed her spoon through her rice. “No. He hardly mentions her. He said she educated him with a Bible in one hand and a switch in the other. Luther told me she was cruel and beat him. She left him with you and went back east.”
Black Elk pushed his plate away. “This is true. She left to collect an inheritance. She had grown tired of her Christian duty of teaching English and civilizing the savages. She could not let her family know of her sin, so she gave Owl Feathers to me. She brought him to shame me, to show the village what I had done.”
Michelle braved a question. “Did you know she had Luther before she brought him to you?”
“Yes. Once her belly grew, everyone knew what we had done. She had much shame and sin to pray away. I tried to see Owl Feathers a few times. I brought her blankets, food, and toys I made for him, but I was sent away. I was very young, as was she.” Black Elk paused.
“Years later, she brought Owl Feathers to us wearing white man’s clothes and carrying a blanket infested with lice. Owl Feathers was terrified of me. She told him we were soulless monsters who ate bad children. I was the leader, the devil.”
Michelle gasped. “His own mother did that to him?”
“Yes. Then she said, ‘Here is your son. I never want to see him again.’ Owl Feathers acted much younger than his years. I think it was because she beat him. When she tried to leave, he clung to her and promised to be good if she saved him from the savages.”
Black Elk sneered. “She kicked him away. He cried and begged her not to leave him. She struck him, and he cowered like a dog.”
“That’s horrible. What did you do?”
“I slapped her to the ground. I said if she wanted to beat someone, to beat me. I would not allow her to strike my son again,” Black Elk said. “She rose with much fear in her eyes. Owl Feathers watched, crying and shaking. I told her to go and never return. Owl Feathers tried to run after her, but I held him back. In time, Redfeather became his friend. Many in the band did not approve. His mother got what she wanted. She never saw him again.”
Michelle dared another question. “Were you mean to Luther on purpose?”
“I tried not to be.” Black Elk exhaled loudly. “I wanted him to be strong. I challenged him. He needed to learn. He was afraid of everything. I tried to teach him and undo what she did. I wanted him to grow to be a man and be happy, to live a good life.”
“But not with me,” she said, meeting Black Elk’s penetrating gaze.
“I wanted better for my son.” He pursed his lips. “But I see now you are very precious to him. I will not try to take you away from Owl Feathers.”
Did he mean it? Black Elk sounded tired, like the fight had gone out of him. Maybe Redfeather had talked some sense into his father. “Did you love Luther’s mother?”
“Yes, four or five times,” he said, grinning.
His joke caught her off guard, and she chuckled. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”
Black Elk smiled. “No. There was no soul-love there. We did what our bodies craved. But I did not force her. She wanted it as I did. I had never lain with a white woman before. I was young, and she was different.” Black Elk cleared his throat. “I do not speak of her often. It brings back bad memories for all. What else do you wish to know?”
“Why did you go to the rendezvous? Why did you want to see Luther?”
“I wished to learn how he was, to know if he was well.”
“That’s a lie. You wanted to see his white wife. That’s why you had Redfeather sneak off with me.”
Black Elk rose and carried his plate to the fireplace. “Redfeather told me Owl Feathers had taken a white wife. I did not approve. I had hoped Owl Feathers would have more sense. I tried to teach him to deny the white part of him. He did not.”
“That’s the problem, he can’t. He can’t change what he is any more than I can. I try to be a good wife. I help him and keep him company. Do you have any idea how lonely he was up here, isolated from everyone?”
She saw Black Elk’s shoulders sag. “I love him and I accept him for what he is. How many white women from back east would do that? The people in town hate him because he’s part Ojibwa. Your people hate him because he’s part white. What the hell is he supposed to do, cut himself in half?”
Black Elk didn’t answer, so she continued. “You of all people have no right to hold what he is against him. You made him that way. Your people didn’t want him around any more than his own mother did. Everyone blamed him for something that wasn’t his fault.”
“By taking a white wife, I thought he was turning back to his white ways. But now I see that is not true,” Black Elk replied. “His love for you is stronger than his need to be with his people. Owl Feathers said he would not come back to live with us unless you were welcome. I see now he would never leave you. And I will not dare separate you from him. I fear what you would do to me if I tried.” He grinned. “You are a strong woman who would die for your husband.”
She thought about Black Elk’s words. In his own way, he was letting her know she was accepted. “I’ve learned a lot since I came here, and I have Luther to thank for it. I’m sure Redfeather told you how I acted when I first arrived. It’s not something I’m proud of. I was mean to him and Luther.”
“That is in the past, and it is over. Now eat your food, Ayasha.”
Michelle ate a spoonful of rice. “Are you going to leave when Luther comes back?”
“I will do as he wishes,” Black Elk answered. “But I fear I may have lost my son forever.”
* * *
“HURT HIS FEELINGS? I don’t give a damn if I hurt his feelings.” Luther whirled to face Redfeather. “What about all the times he hurt me? Or how he treated Michelle? Do you think my brains fell out and I forgot?”
Luther stomped through the woods toward the cabin. This so-called hunting expedition was a joke. Redfeather had used this as an excuse to talk to him alone. All he’d done for the last three hours was try to convince him to forgive Black Elk.
“He came to see you and to make amends. He cares for you, Luther. He wanted to meet your wife.”
“I already know his opinion of my wife.”
“Father says words he does not mean, you know that.”
“I don’t care. He acted horrible to Michelle, and I won’t stand for that. I didn’t get her back just to have her called names.”
Redfeather cleared his throat. “Remember your promise.”
He bowed his head. His promise. Yesterday he had promised Redfeather he’d forgive Black Elk if the spirits sent him a sign. So far, he hadn’t seen a sign of anything.
Luther tromped up the path and came out of the woods next to the cabin. He froze in mid-stride as he saw Black Elk and Michelle sitting on a blanket by the campfire. Michelle was stringing beads on a leather cord while his father carved a piece of bone.
He furrowed his brows. Something about Michelle was different. After a minute, he realized someone had braided and beaded her hair. She must have let his father do it, but why? What had happened between them while he was gone?
Redfeather rested a hand on his shoulder. “See how they have mended ways?” he whispered. “It is a sign. Let us join them.”
Michelle smiled as they approached the blanket. He bent and kissed her forehead. “You feel all right? You should be in bed.”
“I wanted fresh air. I feel fine.” She rose and fussed over him. “How’s your shoulder?”
“It hurts, but it’ll heal. Since that’s the worst of it, I got off real lucky.” He wrapped his arms around Michelle’s waist and hugged her close.
Black Elk cleared his throat and stood. “Redfeather, sit with Ayasha. Owl Feathers and I will take our walk now.”
“Now? I just came back from hunting. I’m tired.”
“You are my son. I ask you to come with me. If you wish, this will be our last walk together. But I must speak with you,” Black Elk said.
Luther rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine, I give up. Can’t anyone ever talk to me without wanderin’ all over the damn mountain?” He kissed Michelle’s cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
* * *
LUTHER TRAILED BEHIND Black Elk as they hiked to the lake. What did his father want? Would he try to convince him to leave Michelle and rejoin the band? Although a small part of him longed to be a member of a family again, he wouldn’t leave Michelle. If Black Elk wanted him to choose, he’d stay with her without question.
Black Elk sat on a fallen log and folded his hands in front of him. “I spoke with Ayasha,” he said in Algonquin.
Luther leaned against a maple tree and pulled off a clump of orange leaves. “About what?”
“Many things. She is clever. She thinks like a man.”
“I know that. And despite what you think, she’s not stupid. She saved my life, and if you—”
“Owl Feathers, hear me out.” Black Elk raised a hand and chuckled. “Now I see why you two get along so well. You and your woman both speak your minds. I talked with her using new eyes and new ears. I was wrong about Ayasha.”
“Hell, I’ll say.” For the first time he could remember, Black Elk had admitted he was wrong. Did the bear attack change his mind about Michelle? “What did you two talk about?”
“Different things, you, the bear, your mother. Ayasha loves you a great deal and you love her, too. I saw that the other day.” He was quiet for a moment.
“White Duck is a good wife, but she never would have made such a sacrifice for me. Your woman is different. I see now she is good for you. You take care of each other.”
Luther sat on the log next to his father. Redfeather and Black Elk had spoken at great lengths last night. Whatever was said must have struck a nerve in his father’s heart.
“Michelle’s not like her, if that’s what you’re thinking. She’s learned to respect our people. She didn’t hate me when I told her what I was.”
“Your mother poisoned your mind against us. I should have taken you away from her when you were younger. If I had, your life would have been different. You would have been raised proper.” Black Elk paused. “But I couldn’t. You were my secret shame.”
“Shame is right,” Luther scoffed. “When I lived with you, you always said I was no good. I wasn’t accurate enough with the bow and arrow. I ran too slow. I was a bad hunter. Even though I tried my damnedest, I couldn’t get the white out of my blood.” He lowered his voice to a whisper.
“So I stopped trying. I wasn’t good enough for anyone. When Snow Fox died, I felt terrible. It was another way I had failed.” He wiped a tear from his cheek. “I never wanted any harm to come to her.”
Black Elk patted his arm. “I know. She was my little one.” He smiled. “And that is what Redfeather has named your Michelle. If it is any solace, you make me proud. You have a good home and you provide for your wife. Everything I taught, you learned well.”
Black Elk paused, then continued. “When Redfeather told me you had taken a white wife, I had to see her. I did not want you to suffer and make the same mistake I did. I took the hate I felt for your mother out on Ayasha. I welcomed her scorn. I wanted to see if she would run or fight. I needed to learn what she was made of inside and to see if you would leave her. I was cruel to her and tested her.”
“And?” Was he accepting Michelle? Was there a chance they could become a family?
“She showed me she has much strength. I saw all I needed to in the clearing.” Black Elk’s voice had a ring of pride to it. “I know my grandchildren will have a strong mother who would die for them and a father who will teach them well, as he taught their mother. You have grown into a fine man, Owl Feathers. I am honored to call you my son.”
Luther felt a long-held tension drain out of him. After all these years, his father was proud of him. He was no longer a shameful failure in Black Elk’s eyes.
Black Elk slapped Luther’s knee lightly. “You must thank Redfeather for bringing us together. He was clever in the way he told me about her. He knew my curiosity would bring me here.”
Black Elk stood. “I am sorry we have been apart, my son. We will become a family, all of us. Let us go back and have a feast to celebrate.”
Luther smiled as he rose from the log. “I’d like nothing better.”
