Chapter 23

She’d done it. She’d dropped him off, kissed him good-night, and had driven off. Maybe she had absorbed some of his willpower while they were dancing. She reached for the windshield wiper switch. It was drizzling now as she made her way down the streets of the tiny village, turning onto the country road that would take her home.

The truth was, she hadn’t wanted to go upstairs with him. Okay, that was a lie. She had wanted to go upstairs with him. More than anything she wanted to make love to him. But she’d never been so scared in her life. She had felt just a little too comfortable, too content swaying back and forth in his arms for close to an hour.

She hadn’t even requested a fast song. Out of character for her. Very few couples were dancing, and those that were, seemed more than content with the slow tunes the band had selected for that set. She had gestured for them to continue in that mode. The truth was, she had initially wanted a slow song. She wanted to be in his arms. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted to feel him pressing into her. What she hadn’t expected was to want to be in his arms dancing the entire evening.

Not going upstairs or attempting to go upstairs with him was not just a display of willpower. It was full on fear. Clearly the man was just as stubborn as she was. If he was going to continue holding out, she didn’t think she could hang on. Whether he had planned it or not, his resisting her was bringing up feelings she had never felt for a man . . . and wasn’t sure she ever wanted to feel.

Maybe it was time to change her strategy. Clearly he wasn’t going to make it easy to get over him by letting her have her way with him. At this point, with her new performance schedule, she wouldn’t even have a chance to enjoy him enough to get him out of her system. Her only choice was to avoid him completely. It wasn’t that much longer until she’d be leaving. Then she would never have to see him again.

She shivered and wrapped her coat more tightly around her as she drove onto the McCullough-Jameson property. The sanctuary of home. She shivered again as she thought maybe it was time to move out of her parents’ house. They made it way too easy for her to stay. She adored them. She loved living here. And it wasn’t as if she didn’t travel and go off on her own adventures. She had created a life for herself. And the truth was, there was no need for her to move out. She helped them out on the ranch when they needed help. She cooked on occasion. She filled the gap that was caused by empty-nest syndrome.

But still, she was a grown woman. Maybe it was time for her to live alone.

Once her Cousin Matt and Uncle Patrick had finished building Alex and Cassie’s house, she could move into the apartment over the general store. Her Cousin Sean had lived there for a couple years. Then Sophie had moved in with him. Once they were married and had settled into their newly-built home on the McCullough Farm, Alex and Cassie had moved in. Maybe she was next in line for the apartment.

It was the perfect size with a bedroom, large living room with a vaulted ceiling, a decent-sized kitchen, and a lovely soaking tub in the bathroom. And the best part was, it was just down the street from the dance studio. Definitely something to consider. She would mention it to the landlords, her grandparents. But right now she had something else she needed to focus on. How to avoid Christopher Newell until she left for San Francisco—or he did—whichever came first.

Chris lay back on his bed, his arms folded behind his head. He was glad he had taken a deep breath when she kissed him on the cheek. It had given him a moment to inhale her lilac scent so he could take it upstairs and dream of her. As if he would dream of anything else or anyone else.

He closed his eyes and savored the scent that still lingered in his memory. He was still bewildered by how different she’d been tonight. He couldn’t get a grip on it. He didn’t know how to handle it . . . her . . . the subdued Anne. Once they had started dancing at the Dunedin Inn, the flirty, candid Anne had disappeared. She had been replaced by a soft, quiet, introspective Anne. He didn’t mind. He just would have liked to know what had happened to cause the shift and what she had been thinking in all those quiet moments.

It might have been the perfect opportunity to have a serious conversation—the kind she avoided having. It might have been the right time to tell her that he understood, that he got her, that he loved her, and that she was safe with him. And he would have attempted it, except for along with the introspective, subdued mood, he had also seen a hint of vulnerability.

Clearly she hadn’t been plotting how to get him into bed. He wondered if she had given up. That thought caused more distress than relief. He wanted her to want him. He wanted her to want him so much that she didn’t ever give up on him. 

He was in for another restless night, only this time it had nothing to do with a need for cold showers. Tonight it would be his brain that needed an off switch.

He had been right to worry. Two days had passed without seeing her. He had called, left a few messages, two on her cell and one at the dance studio. Both phones went directly to voice mail. She had turned off her cell.

Maybe she was busy preparing for Christmas with her family. He had heard that the McCulloughs were big on holiday celebrations. And he had heard that Anne’s other siblings were home, the twins, Aidan and Allie. And since the dance studio was closed, there was no reason for her to come into town. Or maybe she was avoiding him.

He considered driving out to the ranch to find her, but thought better of it. He didn’t want to interfere with her family’s preparations. It was the day before Christmas Eve after all. His only sources at this point were Skye and Nick who weren’t working as much as usual, taking time off to prepare for Christmas.

Once the rain let up, he took a long bike ride out to the river and back. At least that helped calm the anxiety that was building in the pit of his stomach. If he couldn’t do it with his mind, he could exhaust his body to the point that his thoughts were numb. But once showered and changed into dry clothes, the concerns returned with a vengeance.

Work, he decided, was the best escape from his thoughts. He settled in at the small desk in the apartment and began typing. He wasn’t a great writer, but he could pass. Especially when he was passionate about the subject. And he was definitely passionate about this subject.

After a couple hours of writing, he pulled his file box from the closet shelf and started thumbing through the photographs he had printed. He had thought he would use the same photograph of Anne for his book that was on the cover of the magazine that would be in stands in a couple weeks. But as he looked through the most recent pictures of her dancing with Denny to “The Edge of Glory”, he knew he had found his book cover. She was alone in this shot. Denny had just thrown her into the air, and she looked as if she were floating. And although she was focused on her dance partner, there wasn’t one moment during their duet that he didn’t feel she was dancing with him, making love to him. That he was the one she would run to. He was the one she would be on the edge with. And he was the one she would fall in love with.

Damn. He stood up as his thoughts and feelings merged, and he knew that Shelly was right. She had fallen in love with him. His heart was pounding as he slid his feet into his boots and pulled on his leather jacket. He snatched up his car keys that were sitting on the nightstand and headed out the door. He didn’t care what he was interrupting. He had to see her. And he couldn’t wait until she turned on her damned cell phone and got his messages. Or decided to stop ignoring them.

Nick was alone in the pub. Skye was out at her family’s farm working on her jewelry, trying to finish Christmas gifts.

“You look—” Nick cocked his head to the side as he set down a glass he had finished drying. “Not sure. Happy? Confused? Frustrated? Elated?”

“All of the above. Have you seen Anne?”

“Not for a couple days. Why?”

“She’s vanished. Or she’s avoiding me. Or she’s busy with her family.”

“Well, the twins are home, so I’m sure they’ve been spending time together. I know a group of them—Skye included—went over to the tea house in Winslow and then went to finish their Christmas shopping. Anne most likely was one of them. That was yesterday.

That still didn’t account for two days without returning a phone call. “Do you think she’s out at the ranch?”

Nick shrugged. “Most likely. Want me to call Skye to see if she’s talked to her?”

Chris considered, and finally agreed. He didn’t care how it looked. He needed to find her. Now. 

Nick’s call was brief. Skye was obviously focused on her work. The bartender pocketed his phone and looked up at him. “She did go to tea with them and shopping. But there were a lot of them so she didn’t really have a chance to talk to her alone. She doesn’t know what’s up with her except she did say she was quieter than usual. She figures she’s out at the ranch spending time with the family, decorating, helping out. There’s a lot to do at the ranch this time of year.”

“Okay, thanks,” Chris said as he turned and headed for the door.

“You going to find her?”

“I’m going to find her.”

“Did something happen?”

Chris nodded. “Yeah, I think it did.”

“Care to share with your personal advisor and confidante?”

Chris’s smile was sheepish. “Somewhere along the way I think she fell in love with me.”

He trotted back down the driveway, hopped into his car, backed it up, and headed toward the ranch. He slowed down as he turned the corner and passed the dance studio. It was dark inside, closed up, but something had caught his eye. A tiny flicker of light. He stopped and backed up, parking his Highlander at the curb. He jumped out and walked slowly toward the door, his eyes still on the flickering light. The CD player?

The door was unlocked. She was there. “The Edge of Glory” was playing softly in the studio. He pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside, careful not to make any noise. He did not want to startle her. He didn’t want her to turn and run before he had a chance to talk to her.

He stood in the doorway of the studio watching her. She was dancing her part as if her partner were there. Not so easy, he realized when she leaped into the air and held the movement when she landed as if she were in his arms. And again when she leaped and twirled in the air as if he had thrown her. But she could do it. She did it. And he could see Denny dancing with her as if he were in the room.

When the music ended, he held his breath, hoping she wouldn’t turn and see him watching her. The music must have been on repeat mode because she took her place just as it began again. Only this time, she wasn’t alone on the dance floor. Chris wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he had tossed aside his jacket and pulled off his boots and was moving toward her.

He stood behind her, wrapping her in his arms as he had seen Denny do at that point in the song. She shuddered and her breath caught, and then she turned in his arms. “Chris.”

“Hi.”

He kept swaying with her until she broke free and continued doing the dance as choreographed. When it came time for her to leap into her partner’s arms, he opened his and nodded. He had watched enough times that he had some idea of how it was done. She took the risk and flew into his arms. He amazed himself as he caught her and held her in the air before allowing her to slide down his body.

She looked into his eyes, seemingly amazed that he was the one she was dancing with. And then she broke free, continuing the dance until it was time for him to lift her again. She danced toward him and he knew what was coming. He placed his hands on her waist and raised her into the air. He wasn’t about to attempt to throw her the way he had seen Denny do, but at least he could do this. She seemed satisfied with the gesture, smiling as he lowered her back to the floor. Another couple turns and leaps and the music ended.

“Not bad,” she said, only slightly breathless.

“A few lessons, and I’ll be able to perform with you.”

She laughed and he smiled. But then his expression turned serious when he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into his arms just as the music began again. “I’ve missed you,” he said, as his lips pressed against her forehead.

“Yeah?”

“Where have you been?”

“Around. Busy.”

“Why haven’t you returned my calls?”

“Sorry.”

“That’s not an answer. Are you avoiding me?”

“I’ve been busy is all.”

He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her against him. Then his lips found hers and he allowed himself the luxury of losing control for just a moment. His tongue edged her lips apart and plunged inside her mouth. It was at that moment that she relaxed, and he felt the seductive Anne re-emerge in his arms. Their tongues wrestled with each other until they could barely breathe.

“God, you taste good,” he whispered.

“You too.”

“You’re killing me here.”

“Um, I don’t think I’m the guilty party here. I’ve been ready and willing for days—weeks.”

“That’s what’s killing me.”

“Good to know I’m still desirable.”

“Hell, yeah.” He pulled her back into his arms, his mouth covering hers as his hand roamed up and down her back, finally finding its way to one of her breasts. She moaned as he squeezed it gently, then gripped it more firmly, all the while pressing his length against her stomach. “God, this is torture,” he said, suddenly coming to his senses and releasing her. This could only end in disaster . . . and immense satisfaction.

“Your fault, not mine.”

“I know.” His hands crept up her arms and found her face, cupping it gently. He held her still as he gazed into her eyes, longing to tell her how much he loved her, longing to take her back to his apartment and make love to her. And longing to hear her tell him that she too was in love with him.

Anne shivered as he stared intensely into her eyes. She could feel the heat in his body and the warmth in his gaze. She could almost hear his beautiful husky voice saying the words, “I love you.”

But he didn’t. Instead he confronted her with, “Why are you avoiding me?”

She couldn’t answer. She couldn’t tell him that he was too dangerous to be around. She was frightened. She wanted him too much. Despite his attempt to hold her still, she looked away. Then she pushed herself away from him.

“Anne.”

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Do this.”

“Do what?”

She didn’t answer. She just shook her head, ran across the room, grabbed her purse and keys, and ran out of her studio.

Chris stood there stunned, staring after her. Was this some kind of game? Was she playing him, making him want her more? Taking him to the edge so that he’d step off and give in? But when he remembered the emotion in her blue eyes, the vulnerability, he knew that wasn’t it.

She was scared. Of him, and her feelings for him. He had gotten what he had come here for. He now knew without a doubt that she was in love with him. And instead of feeling safe, she was terrified.