27 “Randy Has Many Very Good Qualities”

Monday Night

Oct. 12, 1981

Dear Momma,

It was good to talk to you again. Very sorry that Cleda felt so badly. Wish she’d go to Parkland and do whatever is necessary to help her. They can’t help her if she stays at home. What is it going to take to get her there?

How are Marc and Michael doing? Do they like school? Marc sounds like he is getting big. Let me know how tall they are if you can.

Jalina is 4’ 5” and weighs 65 lbs. She eats good but weighs the right amount for her height. I’m glad she wants to stay “just right.”

Thursday is school picture day so within 3 wks I should be sending you some pictures. If she has her tongue hanging out like in last year’s pictures I’ll throw them away again! That was a waste of money. You HAVE to pay in advance. That’s the only reason I got them in the first place.

Presently I’m not working but yet I am. I’m babysitting. Right now business is slow. I have a one yr old (Brook is her name), and she is only part-time. Then I have a 4 yr old boy at night 10 p.m.–8 a.m. His mom is an R.N. He comes about 4 nights a week.

Of course, also during the day I have Greg. He turned 4 on Aug. 30th and already ties his shoes, makes his bed and helps do other chores. He is quite mature because Randy would not tolerate a “sissy” boy. He is little for his age. Most people guess him in size to be just 3 or 3½ yrs. old. He is a good boy most of the time. Kids are kids no matter what. The other day he tried to shave and cut himself right below his bottom lip. Then another day he came home (from across the street) with dog mess in his hair!

Nevertheless, he is cute. He always tells me I look pretty when I roll my hair and put on fresh make-up. I try to do that every day before Randy gets home and of course when we’re going out.

Randy is 5’ 7½” and weighs 155 lbs. He is a strong man. He used to be a karate champion. He has trophies and all that stuff but he doesn’t do it much anymore. He tried to teach it again a year or so ago but he’d get so involved that he couldn’t sleep, so he quit teaching it (That was just a part-time job.) Randy could have made good money in that field but it isn’t worth it if it changes your personality plus keeps you awake at night!

Randy has many very good qualities. Sometimes his drawbacks are due to the time (2 years!?) he spent in Viet Nam. He used to have nightmares, some periods of depression, etc. for several years after his tour there. You probably wouldn’t believe some of the things they had to do over there! He isn’t proud of them but it’s either you or the enemy. Also if you don’t do what you’re told, you go to the stockade! He was a Marine. If we ever have another war and Randy ever got drafted I wouldn’t let him go. He’s over draft age but in a National Emergency that can change. I’d move to Canada first! So many guys got messed up in Nam. That was a dumb war. At least WWI and WWII were for our country!

The world itself can make you a hard, cold person, but so can war. He had to learn to be human again if you can understand that. One thing I can say is he NEVER, EVER messed with any type of drugs. We drink some when we go out but I haven’t seen him tipsy yet! Also he never has smoked cigarettes even. I gave it up but sometimes I still miss it.

We go dancing about once every month to every six weeks. I wish we could go more but sometimes I get the urge and by 8 pm it’s gone. I don’t take to getting too old to Disco lightly! A couple of places we go to have couples our age but most are early 20s! This state still has the 21-yrs. age limit where alcohol is served. I find I tire more easily than I did at age 25! NO KIDDING!

We had a beautiful summer. What was the hottest temp. there this year? It must not have been hot enough to make the news up here. Seattle had three days of 100+ degrees and about 4–5 days in the 90’s! I thought I was back in Dallas!

Well, gotta be going to bed. I’ll try to finish this letter tomorrow before the mailman comes. That shouldn’t be too hard “seeing on how” he doesn’t come ’til after 2:30 p.m.! HA!

Tuesday afternoon:

I had to keep two extra kids this morning for a girlfriend of mine and they certainly kept me busy.

Once daddy asked to help me by keeping Jalina for a few more months but Momma I needed help and taking Jalina wasn’t the answer. I was the problem not Jalina. Several times in my life Jalina was the reason for me to keep trying! Sometimes it was easier when she’d visit people but after awhile I’d get lonely without her. She loves her Momma and I needed that.

I’m the most secure and generally the happiest I’ve ever been BUT sometimes I don’t know if that’s what I want. That’s strange but it’s HARD on me trying to be a mother again for a 4 yr. old and playing housewife isn’t always fun. Sometimes I miss my independency! I love staying home very much of course and Jalina loves it to have me here when she comes home from school.

Randy is good to all of us and fair, but I sometimes remember liking to be my own boss. I’ve also never had it so easy if you know what I mean. We aren’t anywhere near being financially stable but I alone am not struggling. We pay our bills, eat well and still go places. No matter what we make is never enough really. We want a basement, another bathroom, etc. but either we’ll get it or we won’t. Randy and I share things including money so it mainly goes for house payments ($871.000 a mo.!) and groceries and utilities AND insurance.

This house is half mine and if I chose to leave then I forfeit all rights (THAT’S HOW THE CONTRACT WAS DRAWN UP SINCE PRIMARILY THRU RANDY’S JOB STABILITY AND HIS INCOME & CREDIT WE GOT THIS HOUSE). If he passes away it becomes mine but his son has rights to half of it at age 18. There’s no will drawn up yet.

I do love Randy very much HOWEVER SOMETIMES I ask myself—IS LOVE REALLY WORTH IT? I don’t know that answer yet.

Bye!

Love,

Janis

Money Enclosed for you to use however you want! Your Happy Late Birthday Gift!