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The following months were sort of blurry for Rohit. He went to help at the monastery every day, slept soundly – from physical exhaustion – every night in the condominium's kitchen, and Khanda's pregnancy slowly became obvious.
Winter marched on even though the snow that covered the mountains to the north never reached Godwalkar.
The Queen Mother died, the royal court settled and the Genn took government in charge, electing a council of elders that met at the palace to run the city. Most nobles retired to their own estates and lost interest in keeping the kingdom united.
The palace itself became a semi-public building with a hospital and a school, so Nightsun, Princess Nadira and little Chandra moved back there, along with Nightsun's sister Goldenstar.
Talwar and Khanda moved to the new school building soon after the winter solstice and started hiring people – a door keeper and a cook, husband and wife who also did the housekeeping – and advertizing the school course as self-defense in the tradition of the Fighting Monks of Zindagi.
Rohit and Aditya were the first ones to apply and receive a room in the upper floor of the former monastery, but soon half a dozen of their peers joined, including a tough girl, Pooja, who would attend classes with the boys, but would be physically trained by Khanda, at least at the beginning.
Rohit had never been to school and found the routine both fascinating and frustrating. He loved the physical exercises in the courtyard and the mock duels with Aditya as sparring partner, but in the classroom his mind wandered off during Acharya Talwar's lectures, lulled by the man's voice.
He did get the rules and the history, but never really tried to learn to read or write. He could play with numbers in his head, but letters confused him. He learned that Acharya Talwar worshiped Zindagi, Goddess of Life, and it was her symbol that was burned on his palm as permanent reminder that he should never take a life if he could avoid it.
That same symbol was on a seal that he took off the bottom of his pole-arm and set onto a ring so he could use it as a signet on official Guild documents. There wasn't an Assassins' Guild yet, but there would be one, eventually.
Sometimes at night Aditya and Rohit reenacted their daily training by wrestling on the floor of their room and then cuddling in the double bed that was way more comfortable than the ground. They had razors to shave with – Acharya Talwar insisted on a clean body and there were baths in the lower floor of the monastery – clothes and shoes, and Talwar was slowly building the armory, where every night they put back sabers and straight swords, daggers and brass wheels. The training with the noose hadn't started yet.
When the next summer hit the city, Rohit found himself healthy, well fed and with more muscles than the previous year. If he went out of the school and strolled through the streets, people didn't glare at him. If he entered a tavern or stopped at a street vendor, he wasn't chased away. He didn't have a lot of money, but enough to go out every now and then.
Rohit and Aditya didn't pay for their education, but the others did – according to their family's wealth. Rohit and Aditya had full board at the school but earned some extra coins doing heavy work for nearby shopkeepers, helping them to load and unload carts or move big pieces of furniture for a small fee.
When their nineteenth summer started, they worked even more throughout the longer days and stopped hanging out together at all times. Usually Aditya went back to the condominium to see Lalima, and Rohit wandered in the city, wondering if he could knock on Lord Arfan's door and ask him if he wanted company.
It wasn't real sex with Aditya and he was tired of touching himself, but he was also still obsessed with Acharya Talwar and wasn't sure where else he could find the kind of pleasure Lord Arfan had given him what felt like a lifetime ago. He hadn't seen the lord in two or three years, and probably the elder man had forgotten him.
Khanda was so big by then that Talwar himself sparred with Pooja, which made Rohit a little jealous. Pooja was a tomboy, but still female, and he thought she should stop training until her acharya delivered.
And then one fine morning Aditya had to rush back to the condominium to call the midwife, Suneeri, while Rohit went to the palace to fetch Goldenstar, just in case. Khanda had already lost a baby and Talwar didn't want to take any chances.
The class was quite disturbed that day by Khanda's screams and none of them ate much in the school canteen, but by the afternoon Suneeri went to Talwar with his bundle of joy, a baby boy he called Abhaya the Fearless.
Khanda was still in her room and Pooja was allowed to rush to her side while Talwar looked awestruck and didn't dare touch the tiny boy who had the same ice-blue eyes as his mother. Rohit felt envious of the baby too, and decided he must find something or someone outside the school, or he'd go crazy.
The long hot summer and sweating under the sun didn't help. Rohit became grumpy and nearly mute, observing everyone and everything but feeling disconnected. The physical training had become automatic to him, but in the classroom he often touched himself or wandered off with his mind.
On a particularly warm day at the end of the summer, after Acharya Talwar's voice had taken him elsewhere for a good part of the afternoon, he was surprised when Acharya Talwar told him – and only him – to follow him to his office.
Rohit exchanged a worried glance with Aditya and obediently followed Acharya Talwar into the small room. Talwar sat at his desk in the cool, semi-dark room, and Rohit stood straight in front of him, wondering what was next.
"Take that stool and sit," Acharya Talwar said, his hands folded on the desk, his pale face only half-lit by the ray of sun coming in from the small window high up to his left. The light seemed perfect for the desk and the sheets of parchment on it.
Rohit sat, but didn't relax. He fidgeted, waiting for Acharya Talwar to speak, noticing how his musky scent permeated the small office, covering the smell of dust and candlewax.
Rohit dared to look up and met Talwar's brown eyes.
"How can I help you, Rohit?" Talwar said. "You seem... distracted, impatient. Do you have personal problems? I know you don't talk to your family and I'm not that much older than you, but if I can help..."
Rohit took a deep breath to calm the butterflies in his belly. He wasn't going to tell Talwar how much he wanted to nestle against him and taste his lips and body.
"You... mentioned you went to a fighting monk school," he said. "Did you... did they teach you how to remain chaste? To control your... urges?"
"Ah, that." Talwar sat back in his chair and seemed to relax. "You can't ask a young man to be chaste. But you can teach him to control his basic instincts. Is that what you want to learn?"
Rohit nodded eagerly, unable to speak. Would Acharya Talwar touch him to show him how to control his body? He pressed his hands on his sudden boner.
Talwar's eyes glanced that way and the man looked even more amused.
"I assume you know how to touch yourself?" Talwar asked. "And you sometimes play with Aditya?"
Rohit gulped but nodded, eyes wide. He wasn't sure if he should run away or stay. He wasn't sure he liked this private lesson or where the conversation was going.
"How about I take you to a professional?" Talwar continued. "Do you think that would help?"
"No!" Rohit blurted out. "I'm not interested in women!"
"Oh." Talwar looked surprised, but recovered quickly. "I see. Well, I'm sure we can find male professionals, if that's what you need."
"No." Rohit's excitement was gone and his shoulders slumped. "I don't need a professional. I need to learn to control myself. Can you teach me that?"
Acharya Talwar stared at him, thoughtful, then slowly nodded.
"I can try. I make no promises, but I'll do my best."