Mel
I WAS getting used to Raine picking me up for school. It was only about a mile and a half from my house to the school, and we’d talked about me walking once in a while when he had an early meeting or something, but Dad said he didn’t like me walking by myself since we didn’t know the neighborhood very well yet. I don’t think he ever got over that time those yeehaws in Texas had followed me home, calling me a bunch of homophobic names. I wish I hadn’t told him, but I liked how protective he was over me. He’d also said he wanted to get me a used car as soon as he got back on his feet from making the move this summer. It saved Dad the trip and let him get to work earlier, so Raine giving me a ride home helped him out too. Since Mom died, I always tried to find things that could help him out. So when Thursday rolled around and Raine suggested we go over to her house, get some homework done, and order a pizza, it sounded perfect. Dad had let it slip that the guys from work wanted to grab a beer and maybe go bowling after work that day. I sent Dad a text to let him know I’d be home late and not to rush home.
Raine’s house was a bit more chaotic than mine, but then I didn’t have two younger brothers. When we walked in, the older of the two, Teddy, came running up to us. I’d met him and Colin a few times when Raine had picked them up from school. His eyes were glued to Amelia.
“Hey, Mel. Hey, Amelia. Amelia, you sure look pretty today. Raine says you’re doing great in the squad this year.”
“Teddy, don’t you have someone else to harass?” Raine grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him around, and shoved him down the hall.
“I’m not harassing anyone,” Teddy complained over his shoulder as he stomped away.
Raine rolled her eyes. “You two are so lucky to be only children.”
Amelia blushed. “Sometimes I think I wouldn’t be so lonely, then, but at least I’ve got the two of you. That helps me a lot.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “You two are the best.” Lately, Amelia had been making a point to tell both of us how important we were to her. Since the night she’d broken down and cut the call short, she’d been a lot more outgoing with little flirty affectionate things, as long as we didn’t touch on her weight issues. The second we tried to talk to her about her eating or that she was getting too skinny, she’d shut us down.
“Come on.” Raine led the way down the hall and up the stairs to her bedroom. “Let’s get settled in, and then I’ll go down and let Mom know we’re ordering pizza. If we’ve got the door closed, Teddy won’t bug us.”
“You don’t need to get anything for me,” Amelia said.
As she opened the door, Raine frowned. “Ames, please eat at least one piece for me.” The plea in her voice told me how worried she was.
Amelia sighed and stared at her feet. “One piece. The smallest one.”
“Sounds good,” I said. I was worried Amelia might run to the bathroom as soon as she ate it, and started thinking of some way Raine and I could distract her. We so rarely saw her eat anything more than her bag of carrots. She had a problem and wasn’t ready to face it. I liked her so much, I hoped we could find a way to help her before it was too late. But I knew from watching past friends go through eating disorders—ones I wasn’t as close to as Amelia and Raine—that it wasn’t going to be easy.
“Okay.” Raine tossed her backpack on the bed. “You two figure out what we’re tackling first, and I’ll go tell Mom what we’re up to.”
She hurried out, leaving Amelia and me standing there.
I put my book bag on the bed next to Raine’s backpack. Glancing around the room, I found Raine’s artwork on display. It was my first time in Raine’s house, let alone her bedroom. Sure, she’d brought a few of her pieces to school to show me, but being in her main gallery was incredible. There were a lot of mash-up pieces. But one thing I noticed quickly was that a lot of the women in her artwork looked like Amelia. They had the same long red hair, even if it was often styled differently than she normally wore hers.
“I think you might be Raine’s muse.” I gestured at a picture of Marvel Girl from the X-Men.
“Just because she’s a redhead?” Amelia looked at the picture, then shook her head.
“No, she’s got your figure. Marvel Girl is normally drawn a bit more big-chested than this, and she’s got your smile.”
Amelia glanced down at her chest. “Yeah, I guess I don’t have the rack most girls have.” There was a sadness in her voice that made me wish I hadn’t said anything.
“But you look great the way you are. You’re beautiful.” I smiled, hoping to make her feel better.
“You really think so?” She looked at me with a needy intensity.
I nodded. “I really do.”
Raine came back in the door. “Okay. Mom’s cool with pizza. She’s getting it ordered for the whole family, with one just for us.” She paused and stared at us. “Okay, what happened?”
“I was letting Amelia know I think she’s pretty.” I gestured to the painting that started it all. “I pointed out that you used her for a lot of your inspiration. I can see her in your Marvel Girl.”
Color brightened Raine’s cheeks. “Yeah, she is.” She stared at Amelia. “Ames, I’ve always thought you were gorgeous. You know that.”
Amelia hugged herself and looked sad. “Who do you think is prettier, me or Mel?”
The question hit me hard. I was suddenly worried about coming between the two of them. Raine had told me they weren’t a couple, but there were still lots of times that they acted like it, but they were both being friendlier to me. I wasn’t sure what was going on.
“It’s not a fair question, Ames,” Raine said as she went over and gave Amelia a big hug. “I think you’re both beautiful in your own unique ways. You’re my best friends. I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you, even on something like which one is prettier.” She let go of Amelia and went over to her desk. “Oh. Let me show you something I’ve been working on. I finished it last night, and I couldn’t wait to show you.”
She pulled out a large piece of paper. There was a big moon dominating the colored-pencil drawing and three girls in classic manga uniforms posed on it. In the center, with long green hair, but African American and a face and body that were obviously Raine, was Sailor Neptune. To her right with flowing red hair, was Amelia as Sailor Jupiter. My breath caught at the figure to the left; she’d captured the person I saw in the mirror every day, but I was in a Sailor Mercury outfit. We looked great.
“Oh my God.” I’d never seen anyone capture my likeness before. My chest tightened at the idea that Raine was into me enough to do something so incredible.
“Raine, it’s beautiful.” Amelia sounded close to tears. “You remembered I like Sailor Moon.”
Raine grinned. “How could I not? It’s a bunch of girls running around in cheerleader outfits. I remember the first time you and I sat up all night watching it a few years ago. I think it was what inspired you to give in to your mother’s pushing at you being a cheerleader.” She looked at me. “And with your fascination with cheerleaders, I didn’t doubt you liked them too.”
I nodded. “But I always wanted Tuxedo Mask to reveal he was actually one of the girls, only more butch than the others.”
“Yeah, there is that.” Raine set the drawing back on her desk. “Now can you understand that I think you’re both pretty?”
Amelia nodded. “I can.” She turned and looked at me. “Mel, what’s it like to kiss another girl?”
It was the afternoon for surprises. I hadn’t been expecting her to ask me something like that. Honestly, even though Raine had denied it, I figured they’d at least played around. “W-well….” I stammered a bit, trying to find the right words. “When it’s right, it makes your heart flutter. It’s one of the coolest things in the world.”
“But it’s cooler than kissing a boy?” Raine added as she leaned against her desk.
“Yeah. I guess. For me it is. I can’t speak for other girls.” I wasn’t sure where all this was going. But I realized I’d just officially come out to my new best friends. At least they weren’t demanding I leave. “I mean I don’t have a ton of experience with either, but I kissed boys first. Well, one boy. I felt like it was expected. He was awkward and clumsy. A little too rough.” I didn’t go into how we’d been in ninth grade and it had been under the bleachers at a football game. Right after that less-than-thrilling experiment, he’d introduced me to his boyfriend. I think that was part of the problem. Neither one of us had been that into it. “Girls are softer, and they smell better.”
Raine laughed. “Oh yeah. The smell. Boys can smell fairly rank at times, can’t they?”
Amelia grinned. “Girls can too. Trust me, after a long performance, some of the girls on the squad smell nasty, at least until they get a shower. Some of them are a lot worse during that time of the month.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Then they need to learn how to keep themselves clean. Jeez.”
“Can you show us?” Raine’s voice was suddenly soft, and she sounded a bit scared.
“How to keep yourself clean?” I giggled slightly. “I think that’s something to talk to your mom about.”
Amelia laughed. “No, you idiot. Kissing.”
For a second I felt set up. “Have you two been talking about this?”
Raine shook her head. “Not really, no. I mean, you’ve said a few things, and we, well… um, we’ve sort of picked up on….”
I decided that I’d put her out of her misery. “You figured out that I’m gay,” I said. She looked relieved.
“Well, yeah. It’s totally okay. We sort of wanted to get it out there. Not that we planned it. I had no idea Amelia was going to ask you that.”
“I’m glad it’s okay with you, but I don’t need your permission. I am what I am.” I guess it sounded blunt, but they were my friends, and I didn’t want them to think I was anything but comfortable with being who I was. I wasn’t mad or anything. Actually, I was relieved to be talking about it, so I laughed. Both Raine and Amelia had looked worried at first, but they laughed too.
Raine breathed out a sigh that I took as relief. She pushed off the desk she’d been leaning against and walked over to the bed. She stood between us, then pulled us down next to her when she sat on the edge of the bed. “To be honest, since you’ve been around it’s made me think. I hadn’t before, but now I think about it a lot. I haven’t dated much.” That information surprised me. She was one of the most beautiful girls at school. How had she not dated? I didn’t get a chance to ask her since she kept talking. “And I thought about the idea of kissing guys—okay, Devon. I thought about kissing Devon from English class.”
Amelia laughed again. “Devon Lee? You still have a thing for Devon? You know he looks kinda goofy trying to get all scruffy and stuff. He doesn’t have enough beard yet to pull off the look.”
“I don’t ‘have a thing for him.’ I just think he’s cute. He doesn’t do anything for me. Not like—” Raine stopped before she finished her sentence, and I wanted to know what she was going to say. But before I could ask, she continued. “Anyway, if you stop and think about kissing a scruffy face versus kissing a soft, smooth face, well, you’d think there would be a difference.” Raine touched my cheek. Her fingers trembled slightly. “I don’t like the idea of scruffy faces.”
I caught her fingers and kissed them softly. “I agree. I don’t like scruffy faces.”
“I don’t either,” Amelia chimed in.
For a second with Raine right there in my face, I’d almost forgotten about Amelia. I felt bad and turned loose of Raine’s fingers. “You two first.” I touched Raine’s cheek and slowly turned her to face Amelia.
“What? You mean kiss?” asked Raine.
“Yeah, sure. You wanted to know what it was like,” I replied. Wow. This was crazy. Was this really going to happen?
“I wasn’t the one who brought it up,” said Raine. She sounded scared.
Was she going to back out? I had to find out, but I wasn’t going to press too hard. They had to make their own decision.
“You seemed to be curious, that’s all,” I said, hoping it sounded offhand.
“I am,” she admitted.
“So, why don’t you try it. It’s us. You know I’m not going to judge you.”
“Amelia?” Raine turned to Amelia, and she looked so cute with insecurity etched in her expression.
“Are you sure?” Amelia whispered, looking at Raine. She sounded nervous.
“I am if you are,” said Raine. Her eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them. I wished it was me kissing her first, but I knew it needed to be her and Amelia.
“So you want me and Amelia to kiss first?” asked Raine, seeming to look for some sort of final permission.
I nodded. “Definitely. You’ve been friends longer. It’s just right that if we’re all going to kiss tonight, that you two start.”
Raine touched Amelia’s face. “I think I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.”
Amelia pursed her lips. “Me too.” Her hands shook as she put them on Raine’s shoulders and drew them close together.
I felt odd watching their first kiss, like it should be private, but I was so into both of them that I couldn’t tear myself away. There was a sweet awkwardness to them. As I remembered my first kiss with a cute girl from summer camp two years earlier, I felt warm and happy being there with them as they tried to figure out how to turn their faces so their noses wouldn’t bump.
Their kiss didn’t linger long. Then their lips parted.
Amelia sighed. “Wow. That was better than a kiss on the cheek.”
Raine nodded, then ran her hand through Amelia’s hair. “Yes, it was.”
“We can’t forget about Mel,” Amelia said as she looked around Raine’s shoulder at me. “I want you to kiss her. Then I will.”
“Are you sure?” Raine turned toward me. There was a smudge of Amelia’s lipstick on the corner of her mouth.
I touched the smudge and gently wiped it off. “Lipstick is one of the few hazards of kissing girls.”
Amelia giggled, and it sounded more than a little nervous. “If that’s all, I think I can live with it.”
“There are a few other things too.” I ran my fingers through Raine’s hair. I’d wanted to bury my fingers in it since the first time I’d seen her.
Raine leaned into me as I guided her closer with a little pressure on the back of her neck. Her breath was short and excited. I wasn’t sure if it was from kissing Amelia, or if it was in anticipation of kissing me. I didn’t really care. I moved in closer and kissed her. I turned my head so our lips met perfectly. Her lips were soft, and her scent was a mix of hers and Amelia’s. It made my heart pound frantically. Our kiss lingered longer than her kiss with Amelia.
“I think I could definitely get to like this.” Raine pulled back first, and I let her go. She sounded out of breath.
“Kissing is good.” I reached around her and took Amelia’s hand. I pulled her close, so she all but sat on Raine’s lap. “Now it’s your turn, sexy cheerleader. You know I’ve always wanted to kiss a cheerleader.”
“You have?” Amelia sounded a bit confused.
“Yeah.” I ran my hand through her hair like I’d done with Raine. Her long red locks were soft and silky. Without another word, I pulled her close enough to kiss.
Her lips trembled as they touched mine. She sighed heavily and leaned into me.
The door opened.
“Hey, guys!” Colin, Raine’s youngest brother, said. “Ah… ah… pizza.”
“Shit.” Raine moved Amelia out of the way, breaking our kiss.
Colin had turned and started down the hall.
“Colin, come back here.” Raine ran after him.
I couldn’t see exactly what happened, but there was a thud like something hitting the wall out in the hall. I heard Raine’s voice, but I couldn’t hear what she said.
“Not a word, Colin,” Raine growled over her shoulder as she came back to the room a minute later. “Do you understand me?”
I couldn’t hear what he said, but then Raine came back into her room and closed the door behind her. She leaned her back against the door and pushed her dreads over her shoulders. “Okay. He’ll stay quiet. You guys don’t know how lucky you are. It’s got to be better to be an only child.”
We were quiet for a moment. All the tension that had been in the room had been broken when Colin busted in. It was slowly building up again as we looked from one to the other. Amelia broke the silence. “That was nice… no better than nice… awesome.”
“Definitely.” I stood next to Amelia, taking her hand and then Raine’s as she came close enough. “No freaking out from any of us?”
Raine shook her head first, and then Amelia did.
I couldn’t stop myself, I kissed them both again. “Good. Raine, how about your family?”
A cloud passed over her face. “I don’t know for sure. We’re Christian. At least my folks are. I’m not sure what I am. I haven’t figured it out, but organized religion doesn’t seem like my thing. I don’t know how my mom and dad would react to this.”
From the friends I’d had in Texas, I knew all about Christians. Some were accepting, others weren’t. Some of the fundamentalists were downright scary. “Your parents seemed cool from what I saw of them,” I suggested.
“Right.” Raine sighed. “If Colin blabs, I guess we’ll find out.”
We hugged tight.
“I guess we will,” I said.
“We’d probably better go get some pizza before Mom comes looking for us.” Raine stepped away first. “Ames, remember you said you’d eat a piece.”
Amelia nodded. “I know, and I will. As long as you both won’t think I’m hideous.”
I gave her a quick kiss. “Hideous is a word that will never describe you, beautiful girl.” We were going to have to tackle her body issues soon, but right then it didn’t matter. We’d all gotten past the first kisses, and things were going good. All we had to do was hold it together and face Raine’s family for pizza.