Chapter Twelve

 

 

Two days later, Kim thanked the bodyguard who’d come to pick her and Roman up at Beck’s house. Jamal Lewis was a massive man who looked like he should be playing linebacker instead of escorting a mom and her kid, but he’d proven himself to be a gentle giant with Roman. He’d joked around and made Roman comfortable as he’d driven through the streets of Dallas. He’d been a soothing presence with his deep baritone voice. He’d talked about his dog and how much fun the kids seemed to have at the office’s daycare.

But she’d missed Beck. It was odd because they hadn’t spent much time together. Between the jet lag and Roman’s nightmares the night before, she hadn’t played Beck’s sub yet. She hadn’t even managed to explore the house and yard. Still, she’d woken up to Beck kissing her forehead and telling her he had to go into work, but he had a bodyguard picking them up. He’d left all the instructions on how to set the alarm. She’d cuddled down with her son and gotten an extra hour and a half of sleep.

Beck was different and the same. He was more thoughtful, and yet that passion they’d had still sparked.

She wasn’t sure what she was doing.

“Solo, welcome to McKay-Taggart.” A tall, gorgeous woman with strawberry blonde hair walked in. Charlotte Taggart held out a hand. “Or do you prefer Kim?”

She kind of liked Solo when she was working. It reminded her to put up her guard. “Solo is fine.” She also liked the fact that only her family and Ariel called her Kim. Beck and Ezra and her uncle used that name. Even Levi called her Solo. “I haven’t come up against another chick named Solo, if you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Charlotte said with a smile. According to what she’d learned only Ian Taggart called her Charlie, and she liked it that way. Kim got the feeling Charlotte understood the need to compartmentalize. Charlotte turned to Jamal. “Any problems?”

Jamal shook his head. “Not at all. I made sure the house was secure before I left. I’ll check in later in case Beck needs to stay late.” He turned to her son. “Roman, it was good to meet you. I think you’ll have a blast in the club. I’ll see you later, little man.”

He gave her son a high five and her a nod and strode away.

“He was definitely military.” Kim had been sizing the man up. “I would bet he was Special Forces. Not ex-intelligence. He’s too open for that.”

“You are correct,” Charlotte replied. “He was a Green Beret. Ian will try to tell you they could have worked together, but only if Jamal had joined up at the age of four. Just go with it. My husband’s having some trouble with moving into his fifties. So I’m going to start your tour as soon as our other friend gets here. There he is.”

Ezra walked into the foyer. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and looked more casual than she’d seen him in years. He immediately dropped to one knee and held out his arms. “Roman, I’ve missed your face.”

Roman ran and threw himself at his uncle. “I missed you, too. I miss Uncle Francis.”

She’d uprooted her baby from everything he’d known.

“Don’t.” Charlotte stood beside her, her voice going low as Roman started to tell his uncle everything that had happened in the days they’d been separated.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t feel guilty about something you couldn’t have controlled,” Charlotte said. “I know that look. I’ve seen it on my own face. Kids are resilient. Love them, give them something to hold onto, and they come out of even the worst situations well. I should know. I survived my father because I had my sister. This is a tiny bump in the road for your son.”

God, she hoped so. “He likes his dad. Beck’s been good to him. Good to us.”

She hadn’t been as good. She’d used Roman as a shield because after that first intimate encounter with Beck, she’d withdrawn. It had been too overwhelming, and they hadn’t even gotten out of their clothes. She’d used jet lag and then Roman needing her to not put herself in that position again.

But tonight she had a decision to make. She’d promised Beck that she would be his sub for a few hours every night, and she couldn’t keep coming up with excuses. The trouble was she knew Beck wouldn’t hold her to the deal. He would protect her and their son and keep his distance if she asked him to.

She didn’t want to ask him to.

“I feel bad that he wasn’t able to finish his school year. He had another couple of weeks,” she replied, still watching her son. “School goes through June in Malta.”

“My girls would go crazy.” Charlotte nodded to a woman who walked through the door after putting her keycard in and then using a thumb scanner. The security seemed very high tech. “They head for a camp for a few weeks in a couple of days, but until then they are terrorizing the office. I mean putting in some work here. They don’t understand why they can’t stay home by themselves. The twins are thirteen and Tasha is fourteen. Honestly, I would let Tash stay. She’s never started a fire or decided to practice her knife throwing skills with my kitchen knives. But Tasha wants to come to work with me. I never got the chance to say thank you for finding her for us. Seriously, she’s a light in our lives.”

“The last seven years, I’ve done a lot of reflection on my prior career. I did a lot of things I wasn’t particularly proud of. I’m glad I did one thing right.”

“See, there’s that guilt. I know it well.” Charlotte straightened up. “Let’s take a tour. I’ll show you around the office and the daycare. We’ve expanded it in the last couple of years and share it with our downstairs neighbors.”

“With MDWM?” Miles-Dean, Weston, and Murdoch had been a start-up when she’d gone into hiding. Now it was a powerhouse of an investigative agency, and she knew the government would love to get its hands on some of Adam Miles and Chelsea Weston’s software.

Charlotte started to walk through the hall on the right side of the foyer, past the receptionist desk where a young woman sat. Her name plate read Yasmin Tahan, and she gave Charlotte a wave even as she spoke into her headset. She winked up at Roman, who was now on his uncle’s back, wrapped around him like they used to walk through the streets of Malta.

She followed Charlotte as she pointed out the amenities of the office. There was a lovely breakroom and several smaller conference rooms. There was a whole second floor that included the offices for the bodyguard unit and the men and women who provided home security plans and maintenance. The kids’ club was huge and sported lots of kids playing in the various spaces. She’d seen Roman’s eyes widen at the sight of all the books and toys.

The Taggarts had done well for themselves. She found herself walking by what Charlotte called the main conference room. It had glass walls, and she could see Beck sitting there with Ian, Alex McKay, and Liam O’Donnell. She didn’t let herself stare at him, but she noticed that Roman waved at his dad.

“This is lovely, Charlotte,” Ezra said. “It’s a nice place to work. And I thank you for my room at the club. It’s got everything I could need. And I deeply appreciate the bible. I had to leave mine behind.”

Charlotte gave him a warm smile. “If you need anything else, Father, please don’t hesitate to ask. I wish I could send you to church. I truly do, but it’s dangerous right now.”

“Don’t tell anyone because I might get fired for saying this, but God doesn’t need us to be in church to hear our prayers,” Ezra replied.

She would have to find some time to ask him about the club later on. Her level of curiosity was high given she was due to go to Sanctum in a few days.

“Well, that’s the basic tour. I’d like to talk to Solo for a couple of minutes before we join Beck in the conference room,” Charlotte said. “Roman, I think they’re about to have a midmorning snack in the kids’ club. And then they’re doing a pretty cool science experiment.”

“Really?” Roman asked.

Charlotte nodded. “Yes. I told the teachers that you love science, and they thought you might help them make volcanoes today.”

“I love volcanoes. Let’s go.” Roman dropped off his uncle’s back.

Ezra took his hand. “I’ll go sign him in and meet you back here.”

She kissed Roman’s forehead. “I’ll be here all day.”

Roman nodded and strode away without looking back.

“He’ll be fine,” Charlotte said, stepping into the hallway. “Come with me for a minute. I want to show you your office.”

That was a surprise. “I have an office?”

“Well, you didn’t think I was going to let you sit at home, did you? You’re Solo. I can use you here. I know you haven’t done Agency work in a long time, but I would bet your instincts are still good.”

“I do have some work to do on Levi.” It would be nice to have an office, to get out of the house every once in a while.

“Yes, I’m sure you’ll do that, but I’d like your thoughts on a couple of open cases we have.”

“I’m not a private eye.”

“No, you’re better,” Charlotte insisted. She stopped in front of an office. “This is you. Beck is across the hall. I don’t have an office with a window right now.”

She was used to working in the shadows. “I don’t need a window. Just a laptop and Internet access.”

Charlotte’s nose wrinkled. “Oh, we do better here. We’ll talk about redecorating to your specifications later. I recently did Beck’s office if you’d like to see it.”

Without waiting for an answer Charlotte opened the door, and she couldn’t contain her curiosity. She walked into the place where Beck had worked for the last seven years. It was funny because she’d never seen him in an office. He’d been in the field most of the time she’d known him. She would have said he would hate being stuck in an office, and any work space he had would be utilitarian because Beck liked the adrenaline of being out in the field. Even after he’d left the Agency, he’d taken the first dangerous job he could find—guarding the Lost Boys.

His home had been fairly utilitarian. Not that it wasn’t nice, but it lacked the comfort of décor and plants and pictures. Not so with his office. His office was beautifully masculine, with a big dark wood desk and elegant bookshelves that contained a combination of fiction and reference books.

“When he takes a break, he tends to read,” Charlotte said. “He always volunteers to work late if we need someone here at the office. I think he spends way more time here than he should, but then he’s been lonely.”

Charlotte could clear up something she’d been thinking about for days. “He really hasn’t dated? He told me he hasn’t…been in a relationship since we were last together.”

Charlotte’s eyes lit up like she loved to gossip, though Kim rather thought she would only do it in the kindest ways. “Beck goes to the club and he’ll scene, but that scene never involves sex. I’ve known some Doms who won’t have sex with subs, but Beck won’t even get one off, if you know what I mean. Sorry. I’m not sure how into the lifestyle you are.”

“I’m not completely ignorant,” she admitted as she strolled around his office. There was a warmth to it she hadn’t expected. As though Beck was at home here and his actual home was merely a place to sleep and eat. “And I’m sure you’ll find out that he’s bringing me on Friday. We have a bargain, he and I.”

Those eyes lit up even brighter. “You have a sex bargain? Because those are the best bargains. It’s harder when you have kids, but trust me, you can make it work.”

She let her eyes roam across the books on his shelves. He still liked reading historical books and thrillers, but it looked like he’d added in a bunch of self-help books, and that didn’t seem like the Beck she knew. A lot of them seemed to deal with anger. “He thinks I’ll forget all the years before if I spend three months with him. But I have to do it quietly because I don’t want to confuse Roman.”

“Like I said, kids are resilient when they’re loved,” Charlotte said.

“Mom?” A teenaged girl stood in the doorway, her hair up in a high ponytail. She held a bejeweled cell phone in one hand.

Charlotte smiled at her daughter. “Hey, sweetie. Come in. I want you to meet someone. This is Kim Solomon. Do you remember I told you how she helped find you when you were a kid?”

Tasha’s smile dimmed a bit, and it almost seemed like she forced herself to come into the room. She held a hand out, but it was a practiced thing, something she knew she had to do. “Hello, Ms. Solomon. It’s lovely to meet you.”

Any accent she’d had as a little girl was gone. There was something about the way Tasha was looking at her that made Kim’s instincts flare. This girl didn’t like her.

Still, she shook Tasha’s hand. “I was very happy to help find you.”

Tasha dropped her hand and turned back to Charlotte. “I wanted to let you know I called the bakery and they’ve set everything up for Dad’s cake. Also, I asked them not to deliver it. I said you would pick it up. You know if we have it in the house for too long we’ll find Travis’s fingerprints on it.”

“Smart girl,” Charlotte said, her arm going around Tasha’s shoulders. “My youngest has his dad’s sweet tooth but none of Ian’s self-control. You’ll have to come to the party, Solo. It’s Ian’s birthday, and we have a big house party planned at the lake house we share with Sean and Grace. Adam’s brother and sister-in-law run this amazing bakery in uptown and they’re making all the sweets. Sean’s catering the whole thing.”

“And we’ll get a bouncy house for the kids,” Tasha said, looking happy for the first time since she’d walked in. “And Dad will decide to jump in it and then he’ll complain bitterly about his back and how old he is and he’ll throw us all in the pool.”

“He probably will,” Charlotte agreed. “Are Kenz and Kala helping in the daycare?”

Tasha started telling her mom about how the morning had gone, but Kim didn’t really hear them anymore because her gaze had stopped on Beck’s desk. It was neat, with pens and pencils in a mug and his paperwork stacked up.

But it was the single framed picture that caught her eye. Their wedding picture. She hadn’t worn a big fluffy dress. She was in a simple emerald green sheath and a strand of Tiffany pearls, her hair around her shoulders because Beck had loved it that way. He was in a dark suit that set off his eyes. It had been taken by the Vegas chapel they’d gotten married in as part of the “package.”

She picked it up and the world seemed a little misty.

“It was the only thing he brought with him when he came to Dallas.” She looked up and she and Charlotte were alone again. “Besides clothes, of course.”

“I can’t believe he has this. This was in my condo in DC. I never thought I would see it again.” She’d kept it all those years. Even after the divorce and selling the place that had been their home, she’d kept this picture on her mantle. “I don’t even know what happened to my place in DC. I owned it but I didn’t pay my property taxes.”

“I think you’ll find Beck did,” Charlotte said. “He worked with a lawyer to make sure you still had a home if you wanted it. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.”

He hadn’t told her a lot of things.

He’d brought their wedding picture here. It had been sitting on this desk for years.

She took a deep breath and put the picture back down. She wasn’t staying here any longer than the three months she promised Beck. It would give him time to get to know his son and for them to work out how they would parent together.

She might even fuck him out of her system. But she wasn’t falling for this. Not again. “We should get to the meeting. I want to run by the daycare and make sure Roman’s settling in.”

She also needed a moment. She wouldn’t do anything more than look through the big windows and maybe wave his way, but the walk through the building might calm her down.

Charlotte looked her over as though assessing her. “You’re going to be a tough one, aren’t you?”

“I plan on being impossible.” She had to protect herself. Beck was an indulgence her heart couldn’t afford. At some point he would get mad and they would start their cycle all over again. It wouldn’t be only her who got hurt. This time Roman would be involved.

“That’s okay. Ian did, too.” Charlotte stepped out into the hallway. “He lasted three days. I’ll go let Eve know we’re ready, and I’ll meet you in the big conference room.”

She followed Charlotte and prayed she was stronger than Ian.

 

* * * *

 

“But I just got used to not using that name. I don’t understand why people don’t stay dead. It’s way easier than this constant ‘he’s dead and some overly emotional asshole is using his name. Then overly emotional asshole gets some much needed therapy and reclaims his own name only to find out the dude he was honoring has been happily quarantining with overly emotional asshole’s ex and the son he didn’t know he had.’ It could have been he’s just dead. See how that’s easier?”

Beck wasn’t in the mood for Tag’s shenanigans. Not in any way. He was horny as hell, and it had been two full days since he’d gotten his hands on his wife. And seven years since she’d put her hands on him. That was probably the part that was really getting to him. “Well, Ezra’s not dead and I need to figure out what Levi was doing with his unit.”

“His Marine unit. They’re all dead, right?” Alex McKay asked.

“Or are they?” Tag offered, a brow climbing over his eyes.

Alex gave him a one shouldered shrug. “Hey, if they’re in hiding after faking their own deaths, I’m all for finding them. It would be easier if we could ask them what they were doing.”

He’d known this wouldn’t be an easy conference, but they were testing his limits. “I’m pretty sure they’re all freaking dead, Tag. So unless you have a medium hanging around the office, you’re going to have to do some actual investigative work.”

The third person in the conference room leaned over toward Taggart, his voice going low. “He’s in a bad mood. Do you think it’s jet lag, now? Because I’m thinking his purity is finally taking a toll on him. You said his brother was a priest, but Beck’s the one who’s been living like a monk.”

The Americans weren’t the only ones well acquainted with the art of sarcasm. Liam O’Donnell’s Irish accent had softened a bit over the years, but he could lay it on thick when he wanted to.

When he’d gotten Kim to agree to his devil’s bargain, he’d expected the sex to come hot and heavy. Hell, he’d thought he’d be able to revisit the mile-high club with her. What he hadn’t counted on was how many damn people had been on the plane and how tired she’d been. He’d spent the majority of the ridiculously long flight watching her and Roman sleep. Then he’d had jet lag and he’d slept.

He didn’t want to live like a monk anymore. He wanted to sin and hard.

The object of his affection took that moment to walk in front of the conference room. Through the glass, he could see that she wore a simple pair of slacks and a chic silk blouse, and those sky-high heels she seemed to have been born to wear. Her long blonde hair was down, and she tucked a wave behind her ear, revealing a half smile she was giving the other woman she walked with. Charlotte was showing her around the office.

Then he saw his brother walking behind the two women. He hadn’t seen Ezra since they’d landed in Dallas and Tag had whisked him away to a secret site where Levi hopefully wouldn’t figure out he was alive.

He watched as Ezra walked by with Kim and Roman and Charlotte for their tour of the office. Roman was on Ezra’s back, treating his uncle like the free ride he was.

Then Roman looked Beck’s way and a big grin came over his face and he waved like this was the greatest adventure in the world.

He waved to his son as Ezra started toward the back of the office, following after Kim.

“And then vampires attacked and took back the world from the evil werebunnies,” Tag was saying.

“What?” Beck forced himself to focus.

Tag’s eyes rolled. “I was repeating the end of the bedtime story I heard Kala telling her youngest brother. She’s not a good babysitter. But she is cheap.”

“Only until you get the therapy bill for Seth and Travis.” Li sat back with a frown.

Tag waved that off. “The boys don’t need therapy. They’re going to shoot things and then they’ll feel better. That’s manly therapy.”

Tag was such a fucking liar since Beck happened to know a whole lot of men who’d gotten the help they needed because Tag eased them into therapy. He’d literally funded Kai Ferguson’s practice for years. “Sure. I’ll get them both BB guns for their next birthday.”

Tag actually paled. “I was joking. Dear god. Don’t arm my children. They’re too good at it themselves. I keep the gun locker double locked because once Kala started…” Tag winced. “Once she started with the hormones and stuff, my house got way more dangerous.”

Li chuckled. “Ah, sweet, sweet karma. Tag’s girls got their periods and Kenzie uses it like a baseball bat. If she wants to get out of anything, she announces she’s got her period and Tag goes and hides. It’s funny. Daisy is never doing that, by the way.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Sure. You stay in that sweet delusion, my friend. But he’s right about Kenz. Does she have to announce that? It’s disturbing.”

“It’s nothing compared to what Kala can do,” Tag said with a shudder. “What were we talking about?”

He was really happy Roman had a penis.

“I believe you were pointing out that Beck’s distracted,” Alex explained. “Not that you shouldn’t be. When Tag’s wife came back from the dead he was all sorts of distracted.”

Tag snorted. “Was not. I was focused and clear because I never really thought she was dead. Deep down I knew she was alive.”

The door had come open and Charlotte and Eve McKay were standing in the doorway. Charlotte frowned at her husband. “Oh, really? You want to explain all those subs then?”

“I completely believed she was dead and lost to me forever, and I indulged myself in meaningless sex to cover up the fact that my heart was broken utterly,” Tag said with absolutely no sarcasm.

Eve simply shook her head and took the seat next to Alex.

Charlotte’s eyes rolled but she leaned over and kissed her husband. Her voice went low, but not so low he couldn’t hear her. “Obnoxious man. And according to Solo, Beck’s a saint compared to you.”

“Well, we all know that,” Tag said with a grin.

So Kim had been talking. It was one of those things he used to get mad about. Anything about their private life should have been private. Except Kim needed a friend to talk to. She so often in her life had no one. She’d been isolated and it had cost her. It had been one of the things that had gone wrong the first time around. He hadn’t realized he needed someone to talk to so he’d put all of his emotional needs on her. Since he didn’t need anyone else, she shouldn’t have needed anyone else. The trouble had been he was shitty at handling her emotional needs.

He looked to Charlotte as she took a seat across from Tag. “Thank you for showing her around. I appreciate it. And I also appreciate everything you’ve done to make her feel welcome.”

“I like her,” Charlotte said with a smile. “And I always love shopping. I brought some of Travis’s clothes. I think they’ll fit Roman. The girls and I did a Target run and bought him all of the basics. Also, if you noticed, there’s now food in your kitchen. I know many men are confused about where food comes from, so I made it easy for you.”

He chuckled because she was right. He ate sad takeout far too often. “I promise I’ll take them both shopping. From what Kim’s told me she’s become quite good at cooking. I’m looking forward to some home-cooked meals.” He saw Charlotte’s eyes narrow and immediately moved to block the inevitable lecture on household duties and emotional work. “And the dishes and cleanup that I will do after our lovely meal.”

“Well played, Kent,” Eve said. “You want to keep those meals coming, you have a bottle of wine chilling for your lady after dinner and you let her relax while you deal with the dishes and the kiddos.”

Li huffed. “Kiddos? He’s got it easy. His is six. He missed all those terrible toddler years. Not that mine were bad. Daisy takes after her mother, and she’s practically a saint.”

“Sure she is,” Tag said while shaking his head. “All our kids are.”

“Mine aren’t,” Alex admitted with a sigh. “How did I go from we probably can’t have kids to having three? And don’t let Li overemphasize the toddler years. Yes, they suck, but I would take all the stinky diapers in the world to not have to answer questions about what is lube and why is there so much of it in your bathroom, Dad?”

Eve groaned. “I have to admit, I ran. I left him standing there to answer that one.”

“You don’t hide it well enough,” Tag replied.

“I hide it fine. Who do you think put Coop up to asking that question? I’ll give you three chances, and the first two don’t count,” Alex shot back.

“See, my Daisy doesn’t know anything about that. An angel of a girl that one is.” Li looked perfectly satisfied with his self-delusion.

“Not if she’s around Tag’s monster she’s not. You need to talk to Kala about…everything,” Alex said. “Just everything.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Tag replied in a way that said he wouldn’t do that any time soon.

“Is Kim coming back?” He was waiting for the moment when she walked in the room.

“She wanted to run by the kids’ club,” Charlotte explained. “We have to call it that now or I can’t get Travis to go. It’s not a nursery anymore. It’s a very cool club that only kids get to go to. It’s important that it be elite.”

“It’s important that his dad is banned,” Tag groused. “I really thought that slide would hold my weight.”

The conference room door opened and Kim walked in. Beck shot to his feet and pulled out a chair for her. “Hey, I got you some coffee.”

He’d even put it in one of those little thermoses so it would stay hot.

She smiled as she sank into the seat he’d saved for her. “Thank you. I could use it.”

“Did you get me coffee?” Ezra asked, taking the seat across from Beck.

Beck simply stared at him.

“All right then.” Ezra settled in. “I’ve been meaning to cut back. Discipline is good for the soul.”

“It’s good for a lot of things.” Tag winked his wife’s way.

Beck wouldn’t know. He hadn’t been able to discipline his sexy sub at all. And now he had some questions because he was fairly certain they’d agreed it was dangerous for Ezra to be out and about. “Why is Ezra here? I thought we were keeping my brother in a bunker somewhere.”

“Nah, they’re keeping me in a sex club,” Ezra replied. “Mr. McKay tried to tell me it was some sort of a gym given the large hamster wheel that lights up, but I didn’t think that bench thing was for weights.”

“You stashed the priest at Sanctum?” Li was suddenly sitting up straight.

“Well, it was good enough for Jesus,” Tag replied.

Beck couldn’t help but laugh, which earned him a stare from Kim. He saw church in his future.

“I’m serious,” Tag continued. “Contrary to what most people think, Jesus liked to hang with a rough crowd. Also, there’s nothing wrong with sex. What consenting adults do is a beautiful thing. I personally am very grateful for sex.”

Beck would be grateful for sex. So freaking grateful. When he looked at it, this situation was really his brother’s fault. Had his brother not decided to get involved in some very unsavory activities years before, he wouldn’t have faked his death, and then there would have been no divorce and he would have been fucking his wife for years.

Yeah, not even he could fool himself about that. They’d been on thin ice before the divorce, and it had been all about his own anger and jealousy.

“Father, you don’t have to stay at Sanctum,” Li said. “You can come stay with me and my family. My daughter is a saint of a girl, but my boy could use a little religion, if you know what I mean.”

A smile tugged at his brother’s lips. “I’m fine where I am. I find it amusing, and I agree with Mr. Taggart. Sex is a gift.”

“One you do not partake of,” Beck pointed out.

“Well of course he doesn’t.” Li looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “He’s a priest.”

“It’s all right. I’m also his brother,” Ezra said. “Beck is having to adjust to a lot of hard truths he didn’t understand. I think he’s doing a good job of it so far.”

“Like I need your praise. And of course I don’t think of you as a priest. I remember when you used to take hour-long showers after you discovered girls,” he grumbled. “I had to choose to be late to school or go without a shower.”

“The father is fine where he is. Sanctum is the best place for him. He’s got everything he needs, and we can move him around without eyes on him. We can smuggle him in and out easily from there.” Tag sat back, obviously getting down to business. “Theo’s working with Jax and Hutch on trying to track Green. Green’s in DC, but according to what we’ve learned he’s supposed to head out to the Hamptons this weekend where his fiancée’s family is holding a campaign event for her father.”

“Who is the vice president of the United States, looking to be president,” Charlotte explained. “Levi has thrived under the current president, and we expect he’ll continue if his father-in-law wins. He’s moved into the upper echelons of the CIA. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up heading the Agency.”

Eve had a notepad out, a pen in her well-manicured hand. “Solo, do you have thoughts about Levi’s past? I’ve got a full dossier on him, but you’ve known him for a long time.”

“Yes. Most of my adult life. We met when we were both in training. Power has always been very important to Levi.” Kim had her hands around the mug like she needed the warmth. “He grew up in a wealthy family, but his parents weren’t all that interested in him. I think they were a bit like mine. Unfortunately, his father’s wealth was wiped out during a financial crisis. Levi was in college at the time, studying political science. He wanted to go into politics, but without cash it wasn’t going to happen. Levi didn’t want to be a mayor or a state representative. He wanted to go to the top and fast. He still had a lot of connections, including some at the Agency.”

“He was never really an operative.” It was one of the many things that rankled Beck. “They never put him in the field, but he quickly was given the lead to use operatives and teams. In this case, it was my brother’s Force Recon team.”

“I know we did a deep dive on this back in the day, but I need a refresher,” Li admitted. “It’s been years, and I don’t think we had much to go on back then.”

“Well, in my defense, the whole team was supposed to have died.” Tag started passing around folders with the original report in them. “Solo, did you hide the other team members around the globe somewhere?”

Kim’s grip tightened. “No, they died in a firefight.”

“I wouldn’t call it that. It was more like an ambush.” Ezra’s eyes were on the table in front of him. “Most of us didn’t get a shot off.”

“What was the purpose of the op?” Tag asked. “And why was Solo in charge?”

“Beck, I think we should talk about this in private first,” Ezra said quietly.

“There’s no need to.” He’d avoided his brother’s mea culpa for days. He intended to do this on his time. “Everyone’s read the reports.”

“Okay.” Ezra sat up and folded his hands together on the table in front of him. “In order to understand that particular mission, you need to understand how I got there.”

“No, we don’t.” Frustration welled. He didn’t want to hear his brother’s sad story. “You liked drugs and you got recruited by a guy who liked to make money off drugs. We got it.”

Kim sighed. “And that reaction is exactly why he couldn’t come to you. You were always so judgmental. It’s why I couldn’t tell you. Ezra, there’s no point in going over this. I’ll explain the op.”

Shit. The last thing he needed was for Kim to decide he hadn’t changed. “I’m sorry. I’m angry with him and I’m not being reasonable. Ezra, if you want to talk about this privately, we can go to my office.”

“You were right. He has a leash now.” Li had leaned over and whispered to Tag.

“No, it’s fine. It’s best I get it all out there,” Ezra said. “I had a minor injury after a mission. I was my team’s medic. The truth was I wasn’t all that brilliant in battle with a gun, but I was excellent at saving soldiers. I often think if I hadn’t found my way into medic training, I would have left the Navy pretty early on.”

“I thought he was a Marine.” Liam opened the folder in front of him.

Tag tried to pass him a pair of reading glasses. “The Marines get their medics from the Navy. Avery says you have to wear these or you get a headache.”

“Fuck you, Tag.” But Li took the glasses. “I’m only wearing them because my darling thinks I look good in them.”

“Avery’s the one who needs glasses.” That quip earned Tag a wifely smack against his big bicep. “So while Ezra would have started out in the Navy, and technically wasn’t ever a Marine, he served with a Marine unit.”

“He was an honorary Marine. He passed his test and got his pin.” Somehow he felt the need to defend Ezra. Not that he didn’t like the Navy. He didn’t care either way, but it had meant something that his brother got that pin.

“He’s talking about my Fleet Marine Force pin,” Ezra explained. “It’s a test you take to prove you know what you need to know about the Marine Corps. I was my unit’s corpsman, what you call a medic. What that means is I was a Marine right until someone got hurt and then I was a doc. And I loved that. I thought about going to medical school after I got out, but that was pretty unrealistic for me.”

“Why?” He’d never once heard that Ezra wanted to do anything but be in the military. He’d gone in because their parents hadn’t had the money to send him to college, but he’d seemed happy there. How much had he missed? How much had Ezra hidden down deep?

“It costs a lot to get through medical school even with the military aid, and honestly, I don’t know that I’m smart enough. I certainly didn’t believe it back then.”

“You were always smart.”

“Not compared to my brother,” Ezra said. “Anyway, to make a long story short, I got hooked on pain meds after my injury. I think it was a combination of things that included a deep depression I went into after my father died.”

Beck had to shake his head. “You never seemed depressed.”

“The drugs will do that to you,” Ezra allowed. “Uhm, I’m pretty sure during that last year you never saw me when I wasn’t high. I was excellent at hiding it, though I know some of the guys in the unit I was in at the time suspected I had a problem. I got called in by my CO one day and I thought I was going to get in serious trouble. Instead that man on the tape was there and he offered me a place in what he called a special unit.”

“Just so we’re clear,” Eve began, “you’re talking about Levi Green. He was the man who recruited you onto the unit you were in when the incident took place.”

“Yes. I saw him the once and then one other time during the six months I was with that unit. I didn’t talk to him much. He talked to my CO much more. I also wasn’t given his name. That alone let me know we were working for the Agency,” Ezra explained. “But I trusted them. My two favorite people in the world were agents.”

Beck didn’t want to think about what his brother’s words were doing to him. He wasn’t going to forgive Ezra. He didn’t have to. He didn’t have to forgive the people who had done him wrong. He could understand it in Kim’s case, but he would still be married if Ezra hadn’t played his games.

Wouldn’t he? Then there was the issue of Levi Green picking Ezra Fain for his “special” unit. “He picked you specifically?”

Ezra nodded. “Yes. He said he’d been looking for the right corpsman to fill the last spot. I took it because I thought I might be able to hide my problems. I got on that team and realized I didn’t have to hide at all.”

“Because they were all corrupt in one way or another.” Tag was looking down at the file in front of him. “Levi put together a group he could manipulate if he had to. Every man on the team had issues. Did Levi supply you with drugs?”

His brother’s jaw tightened. “Someone did. I think we can probably bet it was him.”

“I’ve got Theo working on finding out if Levi had any other special teams,” Tag explained.

“I think he did.” Kim glanced Tag’s way, a serious expression on her face. “I think he had one in each branch of the military. He bragged about it to me once and told me his units would take him far. Most of us work with whoever is in the area, but Levi would move his own teams around the globe if he had to.”

She’d never told him that. Suspicion was an old friend, and he felt it brush up his spine. Why wouldn’t she have told him?

She turned his way as though she could read his mind. “I wasn’t aware of this until after our divorce.” She went back to speaking to Tag. “And obviously, we were working for the same agency during the time with the Lost Boys.”

“You were a good agent.” Tag looked almost sympathetic. “I truly understand the walls you had to put up. You were walking a very fine line, and I appreciate everything you did for us during that time. Charlie told you about the office, right?”

“Yes.” Her face went a careful blank. “It looks nice.”

“It’s yours for as long as you want it,” Tag offered. “I know you don’t need the paycheck, but you do need the work. This isn’t some sympathy offer. I’m not trying to placate your ex-husband. I think you’ve got excellent instincts, and I can’t buy your experience. I want you to take the next couple of months and think about staying here with us.”

“I appreciate it.” The smile was back on her face. “I especially appreciate having a safe place for Roman for the rest of the summer.”

“We’re going to make sure you’re all safe,” Tag promised. “Now this seems to be getting emotional and that is icky. Do y’all need to sort this out and then Beck can write up a report?”

“I think that would be best,” Eve said quietly. “I wasn’t aware they hadn’t talked. This is not the place for family history to be revealed. Why don’t we leave you the conference room?”

“No,” Kim said. “It’s all right. It’s better to get it out here and now so I can answer your questions. The truth of the matter is Ezra didn’t understand the whys behind the missions he was sent on. We’ve all read the report Levi wrote?”

He should have taken Ezra up on his chance to make this private because it was obvious that his offer of coffee hadn’t made a dent in Kim’s walls. He wasn’t sure why, but they were all up again this morning. She was sitting feet away but further than ever.

“The one that he never actually turned in? Yes.” Charlotte sat back. “In it he accuses Ezra Fain of being the ringleader in delivering several packages of contraband materials to rebel groups in Southeast Asia. These materials include guns and other weapons of war. And they could go in under the radar because recon is what MARSOC does.”

“Yes, I got the feeling it was Levi’s version of Iran-Contra,” Alex said. “So this was his way of covering his tracks. How did Solo get involved?”

“He wasn’t just covering his tracks.” The enormity of what Levi had done hit Beck forcibly. “He set Kim up to take the fall. Who handed the op over to you?”

“The director came into my office the day before it was going down and said he needed me to oversee a recon op because the original handler was dealing with something else. I asked who it was. I was told that was classified and all I had to do was give them a go and make sure I watched for anything that might halt the op. I didn’t even know it was my brother-in-law’s unit until Beck asked me to call it off.”

“I talked to him the night before.” Ezra stared at the conference table. “I called him because our mom was in bad shape and I wanted him to look in on her.”

Beck shook his head. “That wasn’t what it sounded like to me.” He remembered how scared he’d been. His brother had been on another continent, walking into a dangerous mission, and he’d sounded suicidal. “You were upset that night.”

“I was high that night,” Ezra said quietly. “I was upset and high, and I don’t even remember what I said to you, but I remember that you told me I better get my shit together or you would have me pulled from my unit.”

“Because I didn’t think you should be going on dangerous ops when you were that emotional. I wasn’t trying to fuck up your career.” How could he think that? Except apparently he sounded like a judgmental asshole a lot of the time.

“See, this is the family dynamic stuff that probably should be dealt with in therapy,” Alex said.

Ezra shook his head. “I want to get this over with so I can head back to Sanctum. I’m still tired.”

Weary. His brother looked weary. “That night I went to my wife and told her how upset I was and that I was going to talk to whoever was handling the op. Ezra was talking about a classified op to a person who didn’t have clearance on it. Namely me. That meant I could likely get him pulled.”

“And wreck his military career,” Tag added. “Though I’ll be honest, I can’t think of anything worse than going into a dangerous op with an unstable team member. I don’t think it was unfair of Beck to try to pull you.”

“I wish he had. An addict doesn’t care about right or wrong. That particular demon is selfish. He doesn’t care who gets hurt. All that matters is his own comfort.” Ezra’s eyes found Beck’s. “I’m so sorry for putting you in that position. And for everything that came after.”

Yes, he definitely should have done this in private because he was going to look like such an asshole. He felt frozen. He didn’t want to let go of this anger he had. He shouldn’t have to. Years. Ezra cost him years with her. Still, Kim was sitting next to him. “I appreciate that. So as to that day, what were you there to do? I know what you were supposed to be doing. According to the records, you were supposed to do recon for a rescue mission. What was your true mission?”

He'd spent years thinking his brother had died trying to save a group of young women from their jihadist kidnappers. He’d made his brother a saint in his head, and he was having trouble remembering Ezra had been human and flawed.

Ezra sat up straighter, as though the soldier was still in there somewhere. “We were supposed to pass off a package to a rebel leader in the area. I don’t know what was in it. It was odd, though. When we actually got there, the man we met with looked like an American. I didn’t hear him talk because I was standing in the back. I wasn’t feeling great.”

Because he’d been coming down off a high. Because his brother had been using drugs.

How would he have reacted back then?

“Solo, what had you been told about the op?” Alex asked.

“Not much. I’d been told it was highly classified and I wasn’t allowed to discuss it. I did not know who the original handler was. It was odd but not unheard of. It was stranger that Beck knew about the op. I should have gone straight to my boss and made a report, but I didn’t want to get my brother-in-law in trouble. That was my fault. If I had, we likely wouldn’t be in this position.”

“No recriminations are necessary,” Tag announced. “I think we can all agree that putting Solo on that headset was part of Levi’s plan at the time. He had to have known what was going to happen.”

“Like I said before, it was an ambush. He had to have planned it,” Ezra agreed. “I know at one point he argued with our CO. I think Green was worried we were about to turn on him. That’s the trouble with mutually assured destruction. It only works as long as one party isn’t willing to actually kill the other and set himself free of that worry.”

“According to Solo’s report, the communication system malfunctioned. How much did you actually see of that op?” Charlotte asked.

He hadn’t gone into the office with her that day. He’d spent the night at a cheap motel because of the fight they’d gotten into when she’d refused to call off the next day’s op. He hadn’t seen her again until he’d come home that night and she’d given him the news that Ezra was dead. He’d walked out and hadn’t seen her again for months. He’d shipped her divorce papers and refused to take her calls.

He hadn’t even considered her feelings. She’d cared about Ezra, too. She’d loved his whole family and he’d barred her from his mother’s funeral.

He’d been so fucking selfish, and he didn’t know if he could ever make it up to her.

“Did you know that day that Ezra was alive?” Liam asked.

“It doesn’t matter when she knew,” Beck said quickly.

A gentle smile turned the corners of Eve’s mouth up. “It does for our investigation.”

“I didn’t know until he called me two days later,” Kim admitted. “By then there had been a fire, supposedly set by the jihadist group that ambushed the unit. The whole area was considered too dangerous to go into for a week.”

“I got hit, but I managed to hide.” Ezra continued his story. “Like I said, I’d been a bit away from the group. There was a lot of confusion at the time. We really were in a bad area. One controlled by rebels. We were in unfamiliar terrain and when the shooting started, everything was confusing. I was hit and dragged myself behind a rock. I passed out at one point and it was all over when I woke up. Someone must have come out later and set the fires to cover what happened. I was found by some local who took me in, patched me up and hid me for days until Kim sent someone to get me out.”

His brother had come so close to death. “And who was that?”

“Brother Francis Bruno,” Ezra said, his eyes shining in the lights from overhead. “He was with a group of surgeons risking their lives in the area to help people. So many people risked their lives and their careers to help me. The brother got me through rehab. He helped me learn Italian. Between him and Kim, they got me the documents I needed to stay in Italy and go to seminary. Turned out, I was really good at that. I’m a better priest than I ever was a soldier. And that is all I know about what happened that day. I beg forgiveness every day for my cowardice, and I’m ready to stand up now.”

But if he did, he would lose everything. “You would likely go to prison.”

His brother nodded. “And there is good work to be done there, too.”

Emotion threatened to choke him because it was overwhelming. His brother was sitting right in front of him. Was he putting on some kind of act?

He suddenly couldn’t stay there a second longer. He pushed back his chair and stood. “I need to make a phone call.”

He strode out of the room without another word because he wasn’t sure what he would say.

Self-loathing was an old friend, and it bubbled up inside him. He’d been the cause of a whole lot of this. While he’d been telling himself he was righteous, he’d left his wife to deal with problems that should have been his, problems that he couldn’t deal with because he hadn’t been kind.

He slammed the door shut to his office and sank down onto his chair, his eyes catching on the picture on his desk.

“Liar.” Kim had quietly opened the door.

“I needed a moment. That was a lot to take in. I’m sorry I didn’t do it privately.” He’d been warned and he’d arrogantly walked right into it and forced them all down the path with him. “I’ll apologize to my brother later. I promise.”

She sighed and closed the door behind her. “Hush. We don’t do well when we talk.” She closed the space between them and eased herself onto his lap. “I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. But just hush and hold me. You had a rough morning.”

She offered him comfort, and it made his eyes water. He wrapped his arms around her and let his head find her shoulder.

“Was he serious?” Beck asked.

“Ezra Fain is the kindest man I’ve ever met. If he says he’ll go to prison and find meaning there, I believe him. And I believe he loves you.”

He sat there, accepting her kindness, and something eased inside him, something that had been tight and uncomfortable for a very long time.

“I love you, Kim.”

She was silent but she didn’t leave.

He would say it until she believed him again.