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SHE WENT TO WORK ON Monday to a desk piled with paperwork she’d missed after having the end of the previous week off, and an email inbox she thought she’d never get to the bottom of. Though she’d told Tony she had her laptop at home, she hadn’t actually got around to opening it and catching up on any work.
In the end, she’d decided to leave the fruit basket at home. She hadn’t wanted to bring it in, knowing it would only cause everyone in the office to ask questions about where it had come from. She still felt awkward about Tony showing up at her place last night, especially as Michael had been there. Their takeaway had arrived not long after Tony had left, and they’d eaten, and then Michael had made his excuses and left. Though she’d enjoyed spending the weekend with him, she’d found herself relieved that he was going, so she could have some time alone to process what had happened.
She was thankful she hadn’t seen Tony that morning either. He must be shut inside his office or out meeting a client. Either way, it meant she’d avoided that awkward moment when they came face to face, both of them knowing the real reason he’d come to her flat last night. She didn’t know what she’d ever done to make him think she might be interested. He was at least ten years older than she was—probably closer to fifteen—and perhaps she was nicer to him than most of the other women in the office because she was grateful he’d given her the job opportunity, but she didn’t think she’d done anything else to encourage him. She wanted to convince herself that he had come over purely because he was concerned, but it didn’t sit true in her heart. She hoped that would be the end of it. Seeing Michael there would surely have been enough of a hint to let him know she wasn’t interested.
Across the other side of the office, she caught Ellen’s eye. Ellen’s head immediately went down, hiding behind a curtain of her blonde hair, but not quickly enough for Liv not to notice how pale she looked, with dark smudges hollowing her eyes. Had her friend only just come in? Stupidly, the thought she’d given Ellen her bug went through her mind, but then she had to remind herself that she’d not actually been sick, had she? Perhaps she had, and that was why she’d felt so awful. She’d put it down to a hangover, but she might have picked up something, but it hadn’t come into full force until later that night, after she’d already had a couple of drinks.
But Ellen’s eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. She looked more like she’d been crying than anything else.
Liv slid out from behind her desk and went over to her friend. Ellen had taken a seat at her own computer but had the fingers of one hand pressed against her temple as though she was trying to hide her face.
“Hey, are you okay?” Liv asked in concern. “You don’t look so great.”
Ellen sniffed. “Thanks.”
“You know what I mean. What’s wrong?”
She plucked a tissue out from a box on her desk and rubbed it angrily across her nose. “Ryan and I had a massive fight. He says he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me anymore.”
“What!” She dropped to a crouch beside her friend and rubbed her back. “I’m sure he doesn’t mean it. People often say things like that in a middle of an argument. He probably just said it to hurt you.”
“Well, he did hurt me, and it wasn’t even said in an argument, though that came later. He was acting strange on Friday night, kind of distant and sniping at everything I said and did, and then when I woke up on Saturday morning, he was just sitting on the sofa, with his head down, and his elbows on his knees, and then blurted that he didn’t know if he wanted us to be together. He said he cared about me, but he wasn’t in love with me anymore.” Fresh tears fell down her face, her voice growing thick with emotion.
“Oh, Ellen. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me?”
She looked up. “I did. Lots of times. You never answered.”
Guilt twanged her nerve endings. She’d been with Michael most of the weekend and hadn’t even thought to check her phone. But then she realised she’d set the alarm on her mobile phone last night in order to get up for work that morning, and she was sure she’d have noticed if there had been a whole heap of notifications of missed calls from Ellen.
“That’s weird. Hang on.”
She went back to her desk to retrieve her phone from her bag. There were definitely no notifications, but when she checked the call log, she could see all the missed calls from her friend.
“I’m so sorry, hon. There must be something wrong with my phone. It didn’t show me that you’d called.”
“You didn’t hear it ringing?”
“No, but I tend to keep it on silent anyway at the weekends. It’s bad enough having it ringing all week with work stuff.”
Ellen sniffed and nodded.
Liv rubbed her back again. “Try not to worry about Ryan. He loves you. I’m sure it’s just a blip. Maybe he’s frightened about how serious the two of you have become. Give him some space, and I’m sure he’ll realise he’s madly in love with you and can’t live without you.”
She blinked back tears. “I hope you’re right. I don’t know if I can live without him.”
“Hey, of course you can. Don’t say that! He’s just a man. There are plenty of others out there.”
“But I want that one.”
She started to cry again and Liv gave her a hug. She didn’t like to abandon her friend when she was so upset, but she was aware of the mounting work still building on her desk.
“I’d better get back to work. You going to be okay?”
“Yeah, thanks, Livvy.”
“Any time.”
Liv slid back to her desk and got to work trawling through the mountain of paperwork and emails. The time slipped by slowly, and she glanced up every now and then to check that Ellen was okay. Others in the office had noticed Ellen was upset, too, and made her cups of tea and dropped the occasional chocolate bar from the vending machine onto her desk.
A text message came through, and a call from a client, which she allowed to go through to answer phone. She checked the screen and saw the missed call notification come up. How strange nothing had shown up from Ellen that weekend. She felt bad that she’d been loved up and enjoying herself while her friend had been having her heart broken.
The morning finally reached lunchtime, and she and Ellen grabbed a sandwich together from a local deli, then sat outside, both nursing coffees and bottles of water.
“You didn’t tell me how your weekend went?” Ellen asked between nibbles of her sandwich. “Sorry, I was so caught up in my dramas. Were you feeling any better?”
Liv suppressed a smile, feeling bad for her happiness. “Yes, it was fine.”
“Just fine? You didn’t do anything exciting? What about the new guy?”
“Well, I might have bumped into him.”
“You did? That’s great! How were things?”
The smile broke out across her face, and her cheeks heated at the memories of the weekend. “He came back to mine.”
Ellen nudged an elbow into her side. “Oh, you dirty minx. You did it, didn’t you?”
“Maybe. Once, or twice, or possibly three times.”
Ellen gave a wan smile. “Lucky you. So when do I get to meet him properly?”
“Oh, I’m not sure we’re quite at the meeting friends part yet. It’s only been a week. It’s not like we’re serious.”
Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up. A text message from Michael. She opened the text and read it.
Missing you. X.
“That’s from him, isn’t it?” Ellen snatched at the phone.
Liv held the phone out of her reach then turned the screen to show her.
“Missing you?” Ellen lifted her eyebrows. “And you said you weren’t serious? That looks like it’s getting serious to me. So, when are you going to see him again?”
“This week. He said he’d call me. He has a lot on at work, and I’m busy, too, what with missing the end of last week. I shouldn’t even be sitting here talking to you. I’d planned to have lunch at my desk.”
“You’ve got to take a break. It’s literally the law.”
“I know. I just feel guilty.”
Ellen shrugged. “Don’t be. You couldn’t help being sick.”
Guilt swirled around her gut. She almost told Ellen the truth of what had happened, how she’d gone out with Michael and had got so drunk she’d blacked out, and then hadn’t been able to face work the next day. The words balanced on the tip of her tongue, on the verge of flying off. She also wanted to tell Ellen about Tony and the fruit basket, but she didn’t want to make things even weirder in the office. If Ellen knew, she’d be forever teasing Liv about it, and anytime Tony called her in to speak with her or came to her desk, Ellen would be pulling faces or miming things at her, trying to make her laugh.
It was easier to keep her mouth shut.
***
SHE FINISHED HER WORKDAY and left Ellen with promises of keeping her phone close by so she could call if she needed. Ellen hoped Ryan would be home after work, and that they’d be able to talk things through and figure out what was going on.
It was a beautiful spring evening, and Liv couldn’t bring herself to cram onto the Tube with thousands of other tourists. She also wasn’t in a rush to get home, knowing that when she did, her flatmate Tammy would also be there. Tammy was never in a good mood on a Monday. Liv had heard her come in late last night, which meant she’d spent most of Sunday partying, too, so she’d be in an even worse mood than normal today. The idea of going home only to tiptoe around Tammy on a comedown didn’t appeal.
Instead, she decided to walk and enjoy the sunshine. People sat outside at bars, drinking and laughing, while tourists stood taking selfies, and businesspeople marched along, swearing at the tourists getting in their way.
Liv wasn’t in any rush.
She kept checking her phone, making sure she hadn’t missed any calls from Ellen. She hoped her friend was all right, and had made things up with Ryan. Ellen and Ryan had been together for as long as Liv had known them, and while Liv thought Ryan was a fairly ordinary, basic guy, Ellen loved him. She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she was also checking in case Michael called, too. He’d already warned her that he was busy this week, but that didn’t stop her heart from hoping he’d find time to meet. She hadn’t connected with a man like him in some time, and though the prospect both terrified and elated her, she also started to think maybe it was time. She’d need to allow a man into her life at some point, and hope he’d accept her, warts and all. It was either that or she’d end up as a dried up old spinster with far too many cats, and she didn’t even particularly like cats.
To her surprise, she found herself near Hyde Park Corner. She hadn’t intended to come this way, but she’d been lost in thought, and her feet must have had other plans. The stands and stalls that were here over the weekend were still here, and Liv found herself slowing. Was she looking for the blonde again, the one she’d seen Michael arguing with? She hadn’t even realised it had been playing on her mind until she’d shown up here. But there was no sign of the other woman. She hesitated near the stall where she’d bumped into Michael on Saturday. Should she go and ask the people who worked there if a blonde woman helped them out at the weekends. She could only assume that was the situation, as the blonde wasn’t working there now. Even if she asked, what would she say? She’d look crazy if they did produce the woman and she asked Liv what she wanted. What could she say? Did she remember short-changing a man on Saturday? Liv would look as though she was trying to pick a fight, and the chances of her remembering one man out of the thousands who must pass through here every day was remote.
You want to know if there was more to it than he told you, a little voice spoke inside her head. You want to know if he was lying to you.
Liv shook the voice out of her head. She was being paranoid and ridiculous. And even if there was more to it, she didn’t have any hold over Michael. Maybe the blonde was an ex-girlfriend, but he just hadn’t wanted to tell her. It wasn’t as though she’d told him everything about her past yet—hell, she hadn’t told him anything, and there was a lot she might never tell him, so she wasn’t one to judge.
With her mind made up, Liv turned her back on the stalls and vowed to put the blonde out of her head.