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ELLEN STAYED WITH HER for the rest of the day. They ordered in a takeaway and watched endless films on Netflix. Though normally one of the things they’d have done automatically when spending time together was to open a bottle of wine, neither of them mentioned alcohol.
Liv started to feel better as the day went on, but that didn’t include the squirming uncertainty that something might have happened during those missing hours. She’d checked her phone to see if she’d drunk called anyone, but there was nothing showing on her call log. But those missing hours haunted her, and she couldn’t help thinking back to the previous time when she’d not remembered getting home from her date with Michael, and even the night where Tammy had told her she’d gone out during the night and had left the door open. She’d dismissed it as Tammy being paranoid at the time, but now she started to wonder if it had been her after all.
Ellen tried to convince Liv to call either Michael or Tammy and find out exactly what was happening between them, but the truth was that them having a fling wasn’t even what preyed on her mind right now. And she didn’t want to be the one chasing them. Michael had called her clingy the last time he’d seen her, and she didn’t want to prove him right.
Ellen left to catch the last Tube home, and Liv was faced with a night and the remainder of the weekend alone. She was normally comfortable with her own company, but now she didn’t feel right in her own skin. It was as though a silent alarm was sounding inside her head, and she was the only one aware of it.
***
SHE WOKE SUNDAY MORNING after a restless night, her stomach a tight knot of anxiety. She hadn’t been able to eat anything all day in anticipation of Tammy coming home. She would have to say something. She couldn’t stand the thought of her flatmate sitting across from her, smug with the knowledge she’d stolen Michael right out from under her nose. Liv knew she and Tammy weren’t exactly friends, but she still thought there were moral rules to that kind of thing. Surely your flatmate’s boyfriend was off limits. Was that where she’d been all weekend—with Michael? Had there been previous times when Liv had assumed Tammy was out partying when actually she’d been with him?
The thought caused the knot in her stomach to constrict. It was a physical pain, causing her to double over and gasp for breath. Had she thought she was in love with Michael? Love? She wasn’t sure she even knew how it felt to be in love, but she’d definitely liked him a lot, and it was the betrayal that was worse than anything.
The hours passed by, and still there was no sign of Tamsin.
Liv couldn’t keep going like this. She was driving herself insane.
She picked up her phone for the hundredth time that day, but instead of checking the screen and throwing it back onto the table, she scrolled down to find Michael’s name. Her stomach churned with tension. She was almost certain she’d find them together.
Liv pressed the phone to her ear. It only rang twice before he answered.
“Livvy, I’m so pleased you phoned. I’ve been thinking about you all week.”
The jovial tone of his voice threw her.
“What? You have? Why?”
“Because of the way we left things the other day. I meant to call, but then I kept talking myself out of it, telling myself you probably needed some space. I mean, it was all pretty awkward when I was at yours the other day.”
She shook her head, baffled, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “It’s been a week since I heard from you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been swamped with work and house stuff.”
“But you’ve been here since,” she snapped.
He hesitated at her change of tone. “Sorry?”
“I saw you here on Friday afternoon. With Tammy.”
“Oh, you did? Why didn’t you speak to me then?”
“Because I put two and two together. Why else would you be sneaking out of my flat on Friday afternoon?”
“What? Oh, no. That’s not it at all. I left my jacket at yours the other night, and I happened to be passing.”
“I heard voices—you and Tammy, together.”
“Yeah, she was there when I passed by. I told her she should be a little nicer to you, considering ... everything.”
“Considering I’m on medication, you mean?” Her heart was pounding, the blood rushing through her ears. “How about you being a little nicer to me?”
“What are you talking about? I’ve only ever been nice to you.”
“What, by sleeping with my flatmate, you mean?”
There was silence on the other end. “Liv, I don’t know how you’ve jumped to that conclusion, but that isn’t what happened.”
“So, where is she now? She’s been gone all weekend, and the last person I know who was in her company was you.”
“Seriously, Liv. I have no idea. Out clubbing like she does most weekends, I expect.”
“And she’s still out on a Sunday?”
“Sleeping off a hangover, then? How the hell am I supposed to know? I saw her briefly on Friday, but otherwise I barely know the woman.”
“No, you’re lying. The two of you are involved, I know you are.” A rising panic built inside her, her mind clutching for the truth. He had a way of doing this, of convincing her to think something different. He was playing with her head.
“Liv, you’re worrying me. Do you want me to come over?”
“No!” she blurted. “I’ll call you if I need you.”
She hung up the phone. Michael coming over was the last thing she wanted. If she saw him, he would put thoughts into her head, bend the truth.
She wasn’t sure she trusted who she was around him.