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THE HOURS WENT BY, and eventually the shifts swapped over, the day shift going home and leaving a more skeleton crew of the night shift. Lights were dimmed to allow people to sleep, and she knew her time to escape was fast approaching. She only hoped she wasn’t too late.
Thankfully, she hadn’t been prescribed any kind of sedative, and, other than the throbbing in her left wrist where she’d cut herself the worst, she felt physically all right. They’d given her a hospital gown for when they’d been working on her cuts, but the jeans and t-shirt she’d been wearing when she’d been brought in were packed into a bag beneath the hospital bed. Ellen had promised she’d bring clean clothes and toiletries in for her the following day, but Liv didn’t plan on being in hospital long enough for that to happen. Besides, if Ellen went to Michael first, there was a good chance she might not make it to Liv’s flat to get her belongings. If she pissed Michael off, there was no telling what he might do.
Liv threw back the white hospital sheet and slipped out of bed. In her bare feet, she padded over to the railing which held the privacy curtain that ran along the rail attached to the ceiling. She knew it was a risk pulling it across, and that it might catch the nurses’ attention and make them think she was using the privacy to harm herself, but there didn’t look to be anyone around right now, and plenty of the other patients had done the same things to allow them some privacy while they slept.
Liv had no intention of sleeping, however.
Crouching, she pulled the bag containing her clothes out from under her bed. She worked quickly, her pulse racing, as she yanked off the hospital gown and swapped them for her t-shirt and jeans. Her stomach sank as she realised the clothes were covered in her blood. The red stains had dried dark—blotches of blacks and browns—but, together with her bandaged wrists, she looked as though she was dressed up for Halloween. She was bound to get unwanted attention like this.
Unsure what else to do, she picked the discarded gown back up, and pulled it over her clothes. The hem hung low, hiding most of her jeans, and the long sleeves hid her bandaged wrists. But the hospital gown meant she belonged at the hospital, and she was going to get noticed if she wandered out looking like this. She didn’t dare put her trainers back on yet in case someone asked her to get out of bed, or pulled back the sheets. The clothes she’d be able to hide or make an excuse for, but she wouldn’t be able to explain away wearing shoes.
She pulled back the privacy curtain again and quickly climbed back into bed and pulled the sheets over her legs to hide the bottom of her jeans. Someone would come around to check on her soon, and she wanted to appear as though she was sleeping, and therefore was nothing to be concerned about. If her drawing back the curtain had caught someone’s attention, then seeing her peacefully lying in bed should abate any concerns.
Liv warred with her desire to get the hell out of there, and her need to make sure no one noticed her leaving. It felt as though an hour or more had passed, but finally she heard the solid footsteps of sensible footwear as they walked past her bed. Liv froze, tense beneath the sheets, keeping her eyes shut and trying to make her breathing even. She hoped the nurse wouldn’t be able to hear the thunder of her heartbeat.
The footsteps stopped, and she heard the flip of paper as they checked her chart hooked on the end of the bed. The person cleared their throat and then kept moving on to check on the next unfortunate soul who’d ended up spending their night here.
She waited long enough to be sure the nurse had left the ward and then risked opening an eye. Everything was still, even if it wasn’t silent. People coughed, someone cried quietly, another person muttered in their sleep, while someone else moaned in pain. She didn’t think she’d be getting much sleep here even if she wanted to.
With the plan of telling someone she was looking for the bathroom if she was stopped, Liv slipped back out of bed. She still had the hospital gown covering her regular clothes, but she’d need to get rid of it soon.
She bent and pulled on her trainers, keeping her head up to spot if anyone was coming, and then she left the bed and hurried to the door out in the corridor. The nurses’ station was at the far end, but if she went in the opposite direction and looped around, she should come out behind them.
A leather jacket had been left slung over the back of a chair just inside one of the other rooms. Without pausing, she scooped it up and kept going. The sign for the toilets was ahead, and she pushed her way through the door. Without even going into the stall, she pulled the hospital gown over her head and then put on the jacket. It was a man’s jacket and was too big for her, but it meant it hung down over her bandaged wrists, and when she zipped it up, it hid most of her bloodied clothing. Then she pulled her hair out of the ponytail it had been in and let it float in waves around her face.
Liv stopped to look at herself in the mirror, staring into her own pale eyes.
“You can do this,” she told her reflection. “This is for Ellen.”
She took a deep breath to steady her nerves then left the bathroom.
This would be the hardest part, walking past the nurses’ station and out into the reception area and waiting room for Accident and Emergency. Liv held herself straighter, walking with a confidence she didn’t feel. The nurses’ station was to her right, and the doors leading into A&E were directly ahead. Liv focused on the door and prayed no one could hear how her heartbeat thundered like horses’ hooves.
She reached the doors, and they opened automatically. Forcing herself to remain at a walk instead of breaking into a run, which was what she really wanted to do, she left the ward and stepped out into reception. Beyond the desk, a number of people were still waiting to be seen.
“Hello? Can I help you?” a voice called to her from the reception desk, and set her pulse racing.
Liv lifted her hand in a wave, not bothering to turn and look so they didn’t get a look at her face. Her red hair was distinctive, but she hoped having it down made it less recognisable. “Sorry. Took a wrong turn.”
Accident and Emergency was busy no matter the time of day, and she was thankful for all the people. She blended in with the drunks, and injuries, but the whole time she was tensed, waiting for the shout that would signal she’d been missed.
The main doors leading to freedom were right ahead of her. Liv could hardly believe she’d managed to get away with it as they slid open in response to her presence and she stepped out into fresh air. An ambulance waited in the bay in front. She put her head down and kept going, shivering from the chill laced on the night air. She didn’t have any money to get a taxi, or even have her Oyster card to get the Tube, or her phone to order an Uber. She only had her feet to rely on.
At least she knew her way around London. It would take her a good forty minutes to walk home, possibly longer, but she didn’t have any choice. She hoped she was up to it physically. She’d lost blood when she’d cut herself, but otherwise she felt okay.
Liv put her head down and kept going. Would someone have thought to lock the front door of her flat when they left? She hoped in the chaos of the ambulance journey they wouldn’t have thought to. She remembered how Ellen said she was going to go back and get some of her things, so she hoped that meant the door was still open, as she didn’t have a key, and only Tammy had had the other key. If Ellen had got there before her, she would almost definitely have picked up the keys and locked the front door as well, but if she’d figured she’d go there in the morning, there was the chance the door would still be open. She hoped so. She didn’t want to have to break into her own flat. It was bound to get her attention she could do without.
Her body ached by the time she reached Shepherd’s Bush. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep, but adrenaline pushed her on. She wouldn’t be able to stay here, even if she wanted to. As soon as the hospital noticed her missing and did a search of the premises to find her gone, they would send the police to her known address. She doubted it would be urgent—someone like her wouldn’t rank high on their list of priorities—but they’d come eventually.
Liv climbed the stairs of her building—even exhausted and weak from blood loss, she couldn’t bring herself to use the lift—and was relieved and cautious to find her door unlocked, though at least either Ellen or the paramedics had thought to pull it shut behind them when they’d left.
“Hello?”
She didn’t know who might be here, but this was London, after all. People sneaked into places to steal or squat. After the last few days, all her senses were on high alert, and she had no choice but to be cautious.
The place looked exactly as she’d left it. Ellen hadn’t been here yet, and that worried her. Would she have left it until the morning? Maybe, if she had plans to go and find Michael first to confront him.
She braved poking her head into the bathroom. Blood was smeared across the floor and sink, red against the white tiles. Avoiding the worst of the mess, she leaned over to open the medicine cabinet above the sink. The small tub of her medication sat on a shelf. Her mind blurred. When was the last time she’d taken her pills? She’d always been so meticulous, but with everything that had happened, she’d lost track of the time and days, and she couldn’t be sure when she’d last taken a dose. She took the pot down and cracked off the lid. She tipped a couple of the pills into her palm. She was only supposed to take one at a time, but perhaps she should take more to make up for the ones she missed.
But what if the pills have been causing the blackouts, a little voice whispered in her head. They might be making you sicker. Maybe you shouldn’t take any at all.
Liv hesitated, staring down at the pills in the centre of her palm. She dug her teeth into her lower lip, hard enough to hurt, and tasted blood. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there for, but eventually she exhaled a sigh and tipped the pills back into the pot. A clear head was vital, and she didn’t trust them right now.
Leaving the bathroom, she went back into her bedroom to find her phone. Where had she left it? She checked the bed, and bedside table, and floor. It wasn’t here. What about the living room? When had she last had it?
If she couldn’t find it to call Ellen, she’d need to go over to Ellen’s flat and see if she could find her there. She hoped her friend would be tucked up in bed, or curled up on the sofa watching a film. As long as she hadn’t gone to find Michael, she would be safe.
Unless Michael tries to find her ...
With relief, she spotted her mobile phone on the coffee table. “Oh, thank God.” She snatched it up and checked the screen. There weren’t any missed calls, which meant no one had alerted Ellen that she was missing from the hospital yet.
She scrolled through the phone, found Ellen’s number, and hit call. Liv placed it to her ear and waited anxiously as it rang.
“Come on, pick up.” She paced across the flat, chewing on the corner of her thumbnail until the area was raw and bleeding. But the call went through to answer phone. “It’s me,” Liv said. “Call me back. I need to know you’re okay.”
She hung up and called again, but once more the answer phone kicked in.
“Shit.”
She was going to have to go over to Ellen’s place.
Liv spotted the keys for the estate agency’s car. She’d attached them to the Richmond keys for safekeeping and had forgotten to take them off and sign them back in, she realised with a twinge of guilt. She hoped she wouldn’t get in trouble for it at work, but that was probably the least of her worries.
Still, the car meant it would be quicker to reach Ellen’s. There was little traffic on the road at this time of the night. All she needed was to know her friend was safe, and she’d be able to handle whatever came after that. She pocketed the keys and phone and turned to the door.
Liv froze, her heart lurching into her throat.
The front door was opening.
Someone was here.