CHAPTER 8

Revising Your Story

So you've completed your story and are anxious to send it off to a publisher. Stop right there. You have reached a difficult goal, but you're not done yet. Your manuscript will need several rounds of revision before it is fit for submission. Editors do not welcome first drafts; luckily for you, in addition to being a critical part of the writing process, revision can be fun.

Distancing Yourself

Completing a book is a great feeling. Undoubtedly you worked very hard to take a fragment of an idea and turn it into a completed manuscript, full of life and color. But even though you may be itching to submit your manuscript to a publisher, you need to first look it over with a critical eye. You want your manuscript to be as close to perfect as it can be before you let an editor see it.

To be able to critique yourself, you will have to distance yourself from the manuscript. Pretend that you are reading someone else's work. Try your best to clear your mind of your manuscript and look at it with a fresh eye. This will be rather difficult, but if you concentrate on separating yourself it will get easier as you progress.

Revision is a multistage process. Before you begin, it may help to read through your manuscript, and then take a step back from it. Let it sit with you for a while. Take the time you need — a few weeks, a month even. When you pick the manuscript back up, you will be able to read it more objectively.

The First Read-Through

You will read through your manuscript several times before it is ready for submission. During each stage you must concentrate on a different area of revision. If re-reading a certain portion of your book is unappealing, you probably need to revise.

Keep an eye out for typos. If you submit a manuscript with typos, the editor probably won't waste his time reading it all the way through. Editors are looking only for those writers who are serious about their work.

During the first stage, focus only on the content of the book. Do any questions pop into your head while reading? Are there any holes that need to be filled? Are you consistent with your characters? Has your main character grown and developed throughout the book? Does each scene tie in to the plot? Are you able to visualize the setting and each scene? Is your writing original and fresh or have some clichés slipped in?

Consider creating a list of questions like these before reading through your manuscript. If you know what you are looking for before you begin reading, you have a better shot at catching content errors and noticing areas that need to be revised.

The Second Read-Through

Once you're satisfied with the overall content, you need to read the manuscript one sentence at a time. Though you may wonder how you normally read if it isn't one sentence at a time, this is different. You will read one sentence, stop, and consider only that sentence.

Are there any words in that sentence that you could omit without losing its meaning? Because children's books have precious little space to work with, it is especially important to omit needless words. Can you improve on the sentence structure? Can you make the sentence more concise and clear? Does the sentence say exactly what you want it to say? Are you using an active voice?

When you have answered all these questions (as well others you come up with) for the individual sentence, consider that sentence's relationship to those surrounding it. Is it in the best place? Does it maintain the rhythm and flow of the text or is it jarring and different from the rest? Do you want it to stand out?

Don't rely on your computer's spell check feature to catch all spelling mistakes. Some words may be spelled correctly but used incorrectly. For instance, the spell checker won't pick up on the incorrect use of to, two, and too since all are spelled correctly.

While it may seem daunting (and time-consuming!) to put so much consideration into one sentence at a time, know that this will not only benefit the finished product but also help you write better in the future.

The Third Read-Through

Once you have completed the first and second read-throughs and made the appropriate changes, read through your manuscript one more time, focusing only on grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Keep a dictionary and a style manual close by.

Are paragraphs divided where they should be? Have you placed speakers' words in quotation marks? Do you have too many exclamation points? Are commas in the right place? The checklist for grammar, punctuation, and spelling is endless, but you know best in which areas you are a bit weak and what to look out for. For instance, if you have a tendency to confuse its with it's (which is a common mistake), take care to double check these through-out the manuscript. You may want to keep a list of commonly misspelled words close by as well as a personal checklist of difficulties you may have.

Testing One, Two, Three

While critiquing your own work is certainly necessary, sometimes it helps to get an outside opinion. Would you rather your first outside opinion be that of an editor who has the ability to reject your manuscript for publication, or that of someone who will help you catch its flaws before it is up for consideration? While you certainly have authority over your manuscript, you might find it helpful to test out your manuscript on one or all of the following groups of people.

Call on Your Friends

What are friends for if not to lend a helping hand? Your close friends and family will most likely share in your excitement as you complete a manuscript, and those who have time may be willing to read it over. This can be one of the most beneficial reads you get, since it will likely be the first time the book is being read by someone other than you. Just keep in mind that friends have an emotional tie to you that may get in the way of their objectivity.

You may find it more comfortable to allow friends and family, as opposed to a stranger or someone you don't know well, read your work. Your friends aren't likely to say bad things about the manuscript and will be much more gentle than an editor in telling you it needs more work. Make it clear from the start that you want criticism. Ask them to praise what they admire first, then give you honest suggestions for improvement.

Turn to Your Writers' Group

If you belong to a writers' group, take advantage of it! The members are there to help one another in their writing endeavors. This is the perfect forum for feedback on your completed (or so you thought) manuscript. The members will have varying levels of experience and expertise, and you should get a variety of suggestions and advice.

Open yourself up to criticism and welcome it. Accepting criticism may be quite difficult at this stage, considering you have put so much time and effort into producing a manuscript that you thought was flawless. Just remember that criticism will help you see things you may have missed because you are too close to the work.

Listen to their comments carefully and take notes. It is likely that they will pick up on problems you have skimmed over or turned a blind eye to. Hopefully, the group will praise you for good work and then give you constructive criticism. Praise alone won't help you get published, but neither will a blow to your self-esteem.

The True Test: Children

If at all possible, test your manuscript on your intended audience: children. What's so great about this test group is that not only are you going to receive feedback from those you have worked so hard to reach out to, but you are most likely going to receive the honest and blunt criticism that your friends and fellow adults may be reluctant to give.

Reading your book to the children in your family will certainly help, but keep in mind that like your family and friends, these children have a connection with you and their feedback will probably be biased. They may seem to enjoy the book when really they are mainly enjoying spending time with you. If at all possible, read your manuscript to a group of children who don't know you. Ask a local school, library, or daycare center for permission to read your book during story time.

Your very best option would be to have another adult read your story to a group of children while you sit by and observe. This will allow you to hear your story as it would likely be read and to pay attention to the body language of the children without the distraction of reading yourself.

It's a good idea to have a list of questions on hand to ask the group of children once the story is finished. Getting the answers to simple questions such as whether or not they liked the story or what their favorite part was can tell you a lot about how your story affected them. How did they react when the story was being told — did they squirm? Did they yawn or even fall asleep? Did they lean forward and pay attention to certain parts? Did they look around during certain parts? Did they sit through the entire story with a look of amazement on their faces? Did they ask to have it read again?

Hiring an Editor

There comes a time in every writer's life when he is just not sure about the manuscript. It may have gone through several critiques and rewrites, but some unseen force is holding the writer back from submitting it to an agent or publisher. This may be the perfect time to call on the help of a professional.

There are many freelance children's book editors out there who will charge a fee to give your manuscript the benefit of a professional and experienced eye. The advantage of this is that you will likely hire someone who doesn't have a personal connection with you and can give your work an unbiased critique; plus these editors work with children's authors on a regular basis and know what makes a children's book publishable and successful.

However, if you choose to take this route, you should be careful to find an editor who is reputable and specializes in children's books. Unfortunately, there are a lot of scam artists who will charge you to evaluate your manuscript without telling you what you need to know. They may send a very general and vague form letter that does not specifically address issues in your manuscript. If they even read your manuscript, chances are you aren't going to get the feedback you require.

The Search Begins

Start by asking around. Try to find someone who has had firsthand experience with a freelance editor. This is another opportunity to use social networking to your advantage. Post to your Facebook and Twitter accounts that you are seeking a freelance editor for some help with your children's book manuscript. There are thousands of these people available online, some more worthwhile than others, but it is best to begin with personal recommendations.

Beware of advertisements that promise to get you published. Unless you are dealing with one of the many reputable self-publishing firms from which you buy specific services that are clearly spelled out, chances are you will pay exorbitant amounts of money and get nothing in return.

Ask the members of your writers' group. If nothing turns up, try a Google search. You should not give any editor an up-front fee before checking her references. Does she claim to be a university professor? Check with the school. Does she claim to have worked with best-selling authors? Ask for personal references from them. If you prefer to work with someone local, try contacting the English or writing departments at your local colleges and universities. Ask if anyone on the faculty is interested in some freelance editing work.

Do Your Homework

Once you get a name, you should do some research of your own. Before you contact the editor, do a little background check. What books has she worked on? Are these books self-published or are they published through a publishing house?

If your contact meets your satisfaction through this first phase, schedule a time to meet or chat with the editor. Put together a list of questions and don't let her sidestep them. If you are expected to pay for a consultation, the editor will certainly understand your need for knowledge about her working credentials. If the editor refuses to provide them or can't answer your questions, this should raise a red flag.

If you attend writers' groups, conferences, or seminars, you may have the opportunity to hear a professional editor speak. If you liked what was said, try to speak with this editor following the meeting. He may have an interest in critiquing your manuscript or know of a freelance editor with a good reputation.

Try to find out the editor's past and current work experience, method of consultation, summary of charges, and current workload (a busy editor might not be able to get to your manuscript for several months). It is also a good idea to get a list of references and check them out.

Learning When to Let Go

Some writers get so caught up in the revision process that the end is never in sight. Sometimes the story goes through so many revisions that it does not even resemble the original idea. Maybe the new stuff is better — in which case, job well done. But maybe the new stuff is just different. You want to make your story the best it can be, but you also have to know when to say when.

The Perfectionist

If you are a perfectionist, letting go will be hard for you. After several revisions, you may have a great idea that you believe will finally complete your story. You make the change. You read back through the manuscript and bask in its perfection, then discover that the change you made requires other changes to the manuscript for reasons of consistency. Sighing, you make the other changes only to find that the story has taken a different path and doesn't read nearly as well as it did in the first place.

Never fear, the cycle can be broken. First, give yourself a deadline. Write it down in your planner, stick a note to your computer, write it in big red letters on the wall — do whatever it takes to make the deadline real. If you convince yourself that you absolutely must meet that deadline, your mind will start prioritizing for you. You will find that suddenly your use of grammar becomes more important than changing the hair color of a secondary character.

Next, meet your deadline. If you have to strap yourself to a chair in front of your computer for sixteen hours a day, do it. You must not, under any circumstances, go beyond your deadline. The perfectionist in you will ensure that your spelling, grammar, punctuation, and other essential elements are met to the best of your abilities before you reach that deadline. You will gradually learn to let go of those things that are not essential to your story and resist the temptation to rewrite a hundred times.

Stuck on a Phrase

You may discover during the revision process that your favorite phrase — the very phrase the entire book was written around — needs to be cut. This phrase was part of the book from the very beginning. It was the first thing you added to the idea file. You love the phrase — it's a work of genius; it rolls off your tongue to charm all those who hear it; it sums up everything you want to say in just a few simple words.

The phrase haunted you day and night, trying to worm its way into a story. Finally, you were able to use it to create a story. However, as you read back through your work, you find that the story has taken on a life of its own, and the phrase no longer fits. So what do you do? Well, the story is more important than the phrase, so cut it and move on.

If you have to cut a favorite phrase from a story, don't throw it away! Place the phrase back in your idea files and try to find a way to use it elsewhere. This way, the heartache will be less severe and you will be able to create more stories from the phrase.

You could delete most of the story itself and try to rework it to fit in with the beloved phrase. Or you could do what you know is best, though it pains you, and cut the phrase from the story. Let it go and know that you have made a proper sacrifice to the craft of writing.

Revision Checklist

While each children's book is different, there are some general things you want to keep in mind while making your revisions. Use the following list of questions to help you along with the process, but don't rely solely on this list. Also make those revisions that are specific to your story.

Is the plot appropriate for the age level you are targeting?
Has your main character grown and developed throughout the story?
Is the manuscript's length appropriate for the age level you are targeting?
Have you spell checked your work?
Are your characters consistent throughout?
Is your story constantly moving?
Have you used dialogue to move the story along or help describe characters?
Have you omitted needless words?
Have you verified all facts?
Does the opening hook the reader?
Are your grammar and punctuation correct?
Does the main character solve the problem?
Have you kept your descriptions in check and left some things up to the imagination of the reader?
Have you used the active voice instead of the passive voice?
Are you consistent with point of view?
Are you consistent with tenses?
Have you removed all dated material from the manuscript?
Does the dialogue sound natural?
Does every character have a distinct identity?
Does the manuscript read smoothly?

It's Your Story

Yes, you need to revise. Yes, you should seek the help of others. Yes, you should consider all that they say. No, you don't have to change anything. What you need to keep in mind throughout the entire revision process is that this story is yours and yours alone.

Trust Your Instincts

You are the author and you are in control. People may certainly add their two cents' worth and it may be worth two dollars, but unless you feel that their comments change your story for the better and you are comfortable making that change, take it only as opinion.

You must believe in yourself and your writing abilities if you want to make it through the revision process unscathed. Don't lose sight of your goals, your motivation for writing, and your love of the story. View everything as part of the learning process and remember that editing improves your work.

If you feel that your story is the very best it can be, though others are telling you to change this or that, go with your instincts. Find a publishing company, prepare your manuscript for submission, and send it in.

Editorial Revisions

Almost every book that reaches the shelves will have undergone editorial revisions. While you have certainly put in tons of work and time writing and rewriting, an editor will most likely want to revise even more. Keep in mind that while you are writing for your own purposes and are attempting to create great literature, an editor is trying to convince the publisher that your book will bring in money for the company.

Let's say you have sent in a manuscript. You get a call from the editor and she tells you she likes the book. Your heart skips a beat. But then she says that she can't buy the book until it has been revised. Are you willing to do the revisions? Thinking that you may have left in a typo or spelled a word incorrectly, you agree. You receive the manuscript back and find an eight-page editorial memo outlining the extensive revisions that need to be made before the company will purchase your book. So what do you do?

You have two options. One, you can do the extensive revisions and give your manuscript a solid chance of being published. Two, you can take your manuscript elsewhere and begin the submission process all over again. The choice is up to you; after all, the story is yours.

However, before you make your decision, you should consider a few things. The children's publishing industry is very competitive. If you pull your manuscript from this editor, she will undoubtedly have another one waiting to take its place. If you stay with this editor, there is no guarantee you will be published, but the editor obviously saw something she liked, so you have a good shot at it. Also, keep in mind that wherever you take your manuscript, any interested editor will likely insist on changes before it is published.