Chapter One

THE SHORE PULLED away. Froth churned from its feet to hers. The engines hummed through her bones.

From the aft deck, Claudia looked back toward the city they made home. She searched the skyline for places they had been happy—the top of the Space Needle, a waterfront park, the Ferris wheel—until her westward passage split the horizon into expanses of gray demarcated into sea and sky by hue alone.

Puget Sound opened in fathoms below the ferry.

Claudia left town without saying her goodbyes. Seattle was a small world. Movers must have swarmed her house to clear out Andrew’s belongings in the space of one morning. The neighbors would have seen.

What had they seen? She couldn’t bring herself to ask whether her sister had been on site to supervise, and Claudia hid her phone in case someone felt like sending unsolicited glimpses of Maria deciding what to take, practicing wifeliness. Slipping Andrew a kiss for courage as the first box was packed. Claudia pictured Maria’s thick curls, her narrow shoulders, her rounded hips. Birthing hips.

The broadcaster’s voice echoed through the loudspeakers, cautioning passengers about unknown items and suspicious activity.

It was cowardly of Andrew not to deliver the news in person. Worse still, Maria. Did they think she would handle it poorly? That she was dangerous?

Listening to the roar of the props, Claudia saw what her fate might have been—her body lying in the bathtub, blue and bloated. Afloat. Her stomach twisted. It was more than she could take—or forgive. They knew what they were doing, she thought. Yet they think I deserve it.

Gulls swept the boat’s wake. She was surprised by how close they came, how she could see feathers tracing their sinuous curves. How they were suddenly beautiful—not the splattering scavengers they had been, but flight itself.

Right now, everyone I know is stuck at a desk, and then there’s me, Claudia thought, on my way back into the field. As a child in Mexico, she wanted to go somewhere—any-where—away. She had always studied people. She never envisioned herself as an anthropologist, preferring something more dashing, like explorer. But here she was, en route to the Makah reservation at Neah Bay, an old whaling village on the northwest tip of the lower 48. Indian Country.

Last year, she noticed Andrew timing her periods, his prick vanishing ten days after she first bled. Which was almost funny because lately, she found herself wanting to be careless, to chance it.

Folding up her body on her side of the bed, ovulating alone whenever she could manage it, she had made it through her thirties unscathed. That was when they were still trying.

And now, she thought, I’m old. I’d have a baby with Down’s, if I could have one at all.

I just wanted something from myself. Still do. Something bigger for myself. Bigger than myself, bigger than all of this. I don’t know how to get it without wanting it. Why couldn’t he understand?

Besides, what kind of man fucks his wife’s sister? Claudia tilted her head to consider the inverse. What kind of wife would allow her husband to become so close to her sister that he could fall for her, fall inside of her, fill her up?

Only a conniving bitch would wrap her legs around her brother-in-law. Maria’s legs were curvy. Great gams, Andrew once said. In horror of excess flesh, Claudia carved herself to gristle. Maria’s thighs bloomed. Claudia imagined they would shake in sweaty reverberation during sex, a shuddering and prayerful response to the call of loin striking flank, so unlike the flat slap of muscle her own lovemaking had become.

Last month, when her fingers crept between buttons to his curly nest, his hand rose to still her wayward progress. She left her arm on top of him, trying to act natural, like this was cuddling. They pretended to sleep.

It took ten minutes to amass the strength to roll onto her back and concede. It was terrible to be uneasy in her own bed. She hadn’t felt that way since college. But this time, it was her husband, and having had his love and lost it made her physically ill, a malaise so invasive it was as though she were at altitude, her body shutting down extremities, fingertips first.

She signed the papers to be done with it. He wanted out.

A giant gull hovered much higher than the others, dark against the sky, a trick of light diffusing its outstretched wings into comets. Claudia followed as its silhouette moved forward, too quick for a bird, her steps taking her into the warm fluorescence of the cafeteria, where people sat chatting over beer and chicken strips. She hurried westward, peering through fogged windows, passing rows of vinyl booths and plastic chairs before she rushed onto the foredeck and into the full force of the ferry’s crossing.

Claudia clutched her billowing jacket and studied the cirrus clouds, searching their soft underbellies, muscles locked against the cold. She could not find the gull.

Her gaze dropped to an oblong head bobbing in a trough, nodding and dipping, a sleek presence that seemed sentient. The Sound foamed and fell back on itself amidst a charcoal tangle of currents. Squinting, she rose on tiptoe to check the next swell and sighted a line trailing behind it. Bull kelp.

The Olympic Mountains loomed. Her mind was awash in pearl and jade. The ferry neared Bainbridge Island, the first leg of a 160 mile journey that would take her west, along peninsulas carved by retreating glaciers and bridges built by enterprising men, until finally, she reached land’s end and its people——who had claimed their place among gulls and rock for millennia. She was merely passing through this world. Or above one, in any case, riding the back of an inland sea where fish were fighting and fucking and occasionally being carried off by nets, their minds naked with terror.

A merciless place, acidified by the dank exhales of engines. Though sea creatures shepherd their young in good faith, their only end is death, as it is here and everywhere on earth. Those that remain will end in mud, picked over by crabs.

Years ago, she drove around the Olympic Peninsula with Andrew, searching for adventure on summer weekends. Now the mantle of winter softened its range of crags. If she looked hard enough, Claudia could see ripples in the snow-fields, the glaciers getting close and large.

She saw herself with Andrew, climbing a narrow saddle between creaking icefalls. Remembered the weakness and dread she felt while they reached the peak, bound by rope, carabiners clinking as they kicked steps into white crust. Wind screamed over ridges. Her rigging howled and whistled.

Andrew leaned into the gale, angling into its clutches. Her body aped his steadfast decision to keep going, but her spirit scurried down mountain, where trees bowed under snow crisscrossed with the tunnels of animals. They, too, had changed colors to avoid predation.

And now, to whom was she tied?

Claudia gripped the green railing, still wet from the last rain. A crow flew by, holding one small claw with the other. This too shall pass, she told herself, unconvinced.

She looked toward the water, and there it was again—the black head. A seal. It pivoted toward her. She heard its breaths in slight puffs that pushed aside the engine drone until a hush drowned all other sound and stilled her thoughts. A strange watchfulness intensified.

The sea opened and closed around the seal, swallowing its head. The ferry grew louder, the voices of other people tuning in on deck like an oldtime radio.

Shivering, she hugged herself.

The wooded shores of Bainbridge Island took shape along the sharpening coastline. Kelp twisted along dark beaches whose upper reaches sprouted mansions. Their banks of windows glittered, cold and steely as the early photos of homesteaders with severely parted hair and thin mouths.

It had all once been forest, right down to the water, the largest stumps serving as dance floors, fiddlers sawing sweet melodies as wood was shipped to whoever could pay, the roving bands of loggers more devastating than termites, than locusts, than anything that had come before.

Executives and their fleece-trimmed families lived there now, the latest in an oncoming wave of people.

It was close to Christmas. Claudia always had Andrew spend the holidays at Mt. Baker with her family. “You like my sister,” she replied when he broached the idea of other plans. “And you know what Thomas expects.” Andrew cozied up to her father’s aura of wealth. Thomas was mostly stocks and properties now, not all in on timber as he once was. “The good old days,” as he liked to say, “when no one gave a shit about owls.”

It was better to be with Makahs for the holidays. She wanted to sit with other people’s families, let their happiness buoy her, but she didn’t know if she could take it, being near children.

Most Makahs would want to be with their kids, cooking and wrapping presents and bullshitting in front of the TV, not talking to an anthropologist about animal spirits and songs. She could knock on Maggie’s door, though it seemed rude to show up, unannounced, at the home of a woman who lived alone. Or maybe she didn’t want to put in the time, no different than the outsiders who first arrived wanting the goods quick and easy as they could be had.

Even the good ones were suspect. Like James Swan, who lived among the Makah Tribe in the mid 1800s. Who was an amateur ethnologist, customs inspector and Indian agent. Who taught schoolchildren and was respected enough that a Makah family took his name. Who considered his life a failure because he never struck it rich, and what else was being a pioneer about. Who transcribed their stories of cannibalism and grave robbing, of cooking marrow from baby arm bones to make grease and power, of strapping other families’ dead to their backs when they swam creeks to purify themselves, anything to be a better whaler. Who ransacked the graves of Makah chiefs for skulls he sent east to the Smithsonian, a violation of respect and sanctity so great the institute was later compelled to return them.

These flawed forebears cleared the path for those who came much later. By the 1970s, hikers had stumbled across a handful of longhouses buried in the wild beach at Ozette, an old Makah village south of Neah Bay. It was the find of a lifetime, cured in salt water, hidden from prying eyes and hands. A professor and archaeologist named Doc Daugherty worked with Makahs to excavate, catalogue and display thousands upon thousands of artifacts. There were bows and hooks and shanks, bowls and whetstones, looms and paddles and nets, posts and beams and planks, shafts and shell blades for arrows and harpoons, and weapons of iron set adrift from the Orient in a time when junks still plied the seas. Cedar bark baskets survived, wetly, their weave holding the hair of their makers.

It had been hundreds of years since a landslide swallowed the longhouses during an earthquake big enough to send a tsunami to Japan. Nowadays, a whale saddle studded with otter teeth was a big hit during classroom visits to the Makah museum. A nettle fiber net housed there helped swing the Supreme Court in favor of Native fishing rights, proving the existence of that technology before first contact with white people, who came to take everything they could see, everything they could carry, everything for themselves, or for sale.

Daugherty was different. He was decent. The Makah tribe held onto its stuff. Claudia was coasting in a dead predecessor’s wake. She knew that. There were still some great men. She just hadn’t met one.

And then there were Andrew’s meds, the pills she found guilty for their faltering sex life, insisting that drugs were unnecessary.

“Unless I have to deal with you,” he said during what turned out to be their last argument.

She didn’t know when she began speaking to him the way she spoke to herself, with all the judgment and cruelty of someone not expecting to be overheard. She always meant to walk out when a fight got nasty, but she never learned how. What came next felt inescapable, unalterable.

“You don’t know how to live in your own head,” she spat, stung. “I have nothing to do with it.”

He left the pills in an otherwise empty bathroom cabinet, ransacked like the rest of the house. In his stead, the orange plastic vial signaled, “Why bother? Who needs this life, the only one we learned to build in our years together?”

No answer to those questions, only a long hot bath and a bottle of wine and one more bad decision.

She thought an overdose would flash memories and the smell of sulfur, a fireworks finale. Instead, it was like nodding off on a redeye, getting colder and colder in the darkness between distant glimmers until they, too, disappeared.

The broadcaster’s voice was smug. “Please return to your vehicles. We are about to arrive at our destination.” Claudia pressed through the double doors into the feverish heat of the cabin, where people filed in to begin flowing down the stairwells.

Barnacled pillars towered on either side. The ferry coasted into the approaching dock in neutral, poised for the final reverse thrust. Inside the cars, everyone waited to turn on their engines, listening for the first eager sputter, that lone cough becoming two hundred streams of idling vapors before the ropes were tossed.

A fitful rain splattered the asphalt. Cold and wet and wind silenced the workers, who grimaced and pointed and made circling motions with their hands.

Eagles and vultures wheeled through the gloaming over razed forests and colossal silvered stumps that sprouted frail versions of themselves. Semis bearing logs no wider than a forearm rattled past, pulling her SUV from its center of gravity with whooshes that left her stiff and staring.

A truck came upon her, fast. It was dusk. The highway’s shoulder disappeared along hairpin curves that wound from cliff top to strait. She braked on the steep grades and turned up the music to drown his horn, tipping her rear-view to avoid his brights until she could yank herself into a pullout. With a final honk and the finger, he was on his way.

Con calma. Trembling, she cruised the final curves into Neah Bay through nightfall—the forest dark around her, headlands black and jagged against the strait—and soothed herself with her mother’s admonishment against hurrying, given as she arranged from her hospital bed for Claudia to be sent north into the custody of the father she’d never met. Todo se hace con calma.

She used to bring Claudia beachcombing after every storm, hitting up the hotel frontage at dawn, before resort guests left their breakfast buffets to scavenge Baja’s coastline. Among the nets and kelp and trash they’d find shark’s teeth and sand dollars and, once, a big green glass globe that came all the way from Japan. At the end of a long day, holding Claudia’s cold hands when she was tired and little and crying, her mother told her to close her eyes and imagine being a big green float. You’re in the sea. You go up and down, but you’re always near the surface. That’s your job, to stay close to the light.

Rolling down her windows to wake herself with a cold rush of briny air, Claudia slowed as she drove into town, peering into the night, wondering if she would see someone she knew. It had been months since she was out here. Light poles cut jaundiced circles into gray pavement. Nobody. Neah Bay was quiet but for the barks of sea lions and the slap of boats rocking at berth.

Her headlights cast twin moons onto fog that crept from the strait and surrounded her. Phosphorescence flickered from a few windows of the trailers lining Front Street. A car passed her in the mist, its lights blurring into soft suns. She could not see the driver.

She threaded the curves between the church and the clinic. Leaving the low clouds behind, she entered a corridor of lichen-mottled alders, their naked branches joining hands overhead. She watched the shadows along the shoulders of the road.

A white flurry filled her windshield. “Holy shit!” She slammed the brakes.

An owl, whisper close, smelling of rot.

She shifted into park and sat back, tires squealing in her ears. Her heart pummeled her chest. She hyperventilated, lightheaded. The crown of her skull seemed to shift and move. She cringed and covered her head with one hand. Cowering in her seat, she glanced out the window and checked her mirrors. Nothing.

Claudia pressed both palms into her eye sockets, cradling her forehead. “You’re just tired,” she repeated. Her senses attuned to Wa atch River’s splashes and murmurs. She dropped her hands, ready.

A large brown mink stood facing her. Eye level. Its neck was long, ears pointed, tail curled over its back. Claudia raised her hand as though to honk. It rose higher on hind legs, front paws dangling, and sniffed the air in all four directions, lifting its sharp muzzle, nostrils flaring. Her arm faltered and lowered onto her lap. She glared, willing the mink to move. It didn’t move. It didn’t blink. Pressure mounted between her temples. Her left eye twitched, uncontrollable.

With a slow finger, she pressed the buttons to roll up her windows, sealing herself in. The mink pricked its ears at the mechanical whine and got on all fours.

She punched the horn. “Get out of my way!”

The mink reared up and laughed. Horribly, impossibly, and yet there it was, human laughter ringing in her ears.

She startled at the sound of tapping. A man in jeans and an old work jacket stood outside her door, limned in light.

Wiping her mouth, she smiled at him, uncertain. Her engine was still running. She straightened and turned to see the silhouettes of children wrestling in the back seat of his car. His beams kindled the drizzle into a shower of small comets. She cracked the window, massaging her neck.

“You okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

The man studied her face. “You should be careful on these roads. You could hurt somebody.”

“I haven’t been feeling well.”

He nodded. “Where you headin’?”

“Hobuck Cabins.”

“Know how to get there?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll follow you, just in case. It’s on our way.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Get some sleep.”

“I will.”

“You do that.” He got in his car and slammed the door.

Blushing, she shifted into drive. He thinks I’m drunk, she thought. Or on drugs. I wish I were. It would explain a few things. Did I dream that mink? What about the owl? Was I hallucinating? Jesus. She hoped not. She didn’t know what was worse—freaking out about random animals or being found stupefied in the middle of the reservation’s main road.

Still, she knew the animals were not random. Not here, on this land, among these people. Unease spread across her like oil. You’re less than a mile from the cabins, she thought. Drive.

Small wisps of mist curled into shapes at the periphery of her vision. She refused to look at them, dismissing what she saw, what she had just seen. Her hands slipped on the wheel. She tightened her grip and turned left at the bridge, debating whether to introduce herself. Their lights were stark on the grassy riverbanks. Patches of fog scurried across the black river, too swift. She would hear about this episode as soon as she started her interviews in the community, maybe even before then. Everyone was sure to hear about it.

Few dunes had escaped four wheeling, the grasses yielding to scabrous patches of sand. Beyond them, the sea was shrouded. She used her blinker early to let him know he could move on. He stayed behind her, resolute.

Claudia pulled off at the sign for the office and parked at an unmanned booth with a dim vestibule. She left her lights on and the engine running, just in case. He pulled up next to her.

Ay Dios, she thought. I hope this doesn’t get weirder. She called “Goodbye!” and approached the booth. An envelope was pinned to the wall under the awning, her name in neat letters. Her body relaxed. She was expected somewhere. No, “expected” isn’t quite it, she thought, swatting off iterations of the word like “expectation,” “expecting” and “expectancy.” No, not at all. It was better than that, nicer. Someone thought of her. Though she paid for that attention, it warmed her. She waggled the envelope in his direction. Maybe he would go home and forget about it.

He raised a hand from the wheel, fingerpads forming a fleshy shark’s fin, and drove off, his girls swiveling in their seats to stare, their faces reflecting her headlights with the pale disregard of distant planets.