CHAPTER 15

PURGE IN ITALY JANUARY 1939

I have recently sent a letter to Poldi outlining our plans, explaining that I have secured train tickets for his parents and for Mama, Willi, and me to Trieste and also ship’s passage to Shanghai and that we only have to get our exit visas approved. Despite the insufferable conditions here, we are in generally good spirits having finally found somewhere to go. I write to Poldi again, pressing him to do all he can to get out of Italy and make his way to China.

I am relieved to receive a letter from him. I tear it open in eager anticipation and sit back in the silent corner of my room to fully immerse myself into his foreign world. I begin to conjure an image of black-haired Italians and glorious, floral landscapes as I read.

“My dear Nini,

“I can only pray that this letter will find you safe. I know what is happening in Vienna as the Nazi scourge washes over the continent. Will we ever awaken from this endless nightmare? I am desperately worried about you and your family and of course my own parents. I am so glad and thankful that you have managed to arrange passage for all of you to get to Shanghai. Dolu and I will do what we can to join you there as soon as possible. For now, however, we are planning to meet you in Trieste when you arrive and to see you all off from there.

“Things are changing here too. As Mussolini has discovered, he is unable to prevail without German support, and he will have to acquiesce to their demands if he is to keep control. Hitler has made it clear that with conquest comes power, the power to recreate the world with himself as supreme ruler and within that new world there can be no Jew. Our eradication is a necessity. The rhetoric becomes more inflamed with every speech he makes. We have heard radio broadcasts from Berlin, his voice blaring with such vigour and resounding hatred we wonder how he can be stopped. And we have seen the reaction in the streets of Milan. Anti-Semitism is more apparent now and we are more aware than ever of the danger.

“I don’t really want to worry you as I know that you and your family are struggling with your own terror, but you should know what is happening here.”

I read the words voraciously, rushing through the sentences that seem to grow more tense as the letter progresses. It is almost as though he is here speaking to me, the anxiety of his situation growing more and more severe.

“Whatever we Jews have been able to do before to appease our enemies, whether that was conversion to Christianity, intermarriage, or simple concealment of our religious heritage, is no longer enough to protect us. There are new laws that are designed for ‘racial cleansing’ and Mussolini has declared the Italians a part of the Aryan race to which Jews do not belong. The Pope has done nothing to help us, not even a single word of condemnation. It would have helped, especially here, but we have no one to support us. We stand alone against the world, as always, in meek fear and impotent surrender, but I refuse to give up. If there is anywhere left to run, and as long as there is breath, we have to keep going. I hope that you agree. We are rushing about in a mad flurry trying to get exit documents. We are using every lire to get out.”

My eyes scan over the words as I try to grasp the impact of the horrible events taking place in Italy just as they are here in Austria. Then I reread everything again to be certain that he has made the necessary arrangements to get out in time. Minutes are vital these days as governments change with alarming speed all around the world – what will happen if the port of Shanghai is suddenly sealed against us?

“With God’s help we will try to escape and make our way to Shanghai just as you are planning to do. Shanghai, China, Nini, just think of it. It seems to me that we are being exiled from humanity, from all the civilized world. Still, with the insanity that has overtaken the entire globe, I suppose we should be thankful that any place, no matter how wicked or far, is willing to accept us. I have to choke back the tears as I write this letter, knowing what we are experiencing here, knowing that what is going on in Vienna is so much worse. Look up at the sky tonight, Nini, look up at the stars and I will be looking at the same blackness, filled with the same faraway torches of light. I believe that we will be together again, somehow. I hope that you believe it too.”

At the beginning of January, Stella and Walter set off on the train to Italy after an emotional outpouring of hugs, promises, and tears. Erna, Fritz, and Lily are booked to follow soon. When there is a knock on our door just two days before their scheduled departure, we are alarmed to see the three of them on the step outside, looking terrified.

“We will never get out, never!” Erna cries, coming in and hugging Mama.

“What is going on?” I ask, ushering in Fritz who is holding Lily in his arms.

As they remove their winter overcoats, they begin to tell us what has happened. Fritz turns nervously towards the door or window every few minutes, fidgeting and uneasy. Erna is still distraught so Fritz explains.

“I ran into a fellow I knew at work, not a Jew, so he still has a job there. He told me that the Gestapo came by looking for me. I am on their list and they plan to pick me up and send me to a camp.”

“But you already have the tickets and papers, don’t you? What do they want?”

“I don’t know. I’m on their list, that’s all. If they come for me tonight, they will take me away. The tickets are for tomorrow but I won’t be allowed to leave if they get me.”

“But if you stay here, they will find you,” Willi says.

“I know. If not for Erna and the baby, I wouldn’t have come. I wouldn’t have endangered the rest of you this way. This thing was unexpected and has pushed us into a blind corner. So close to leaving and now it’s all up in the air again. We didn’t know where else to turn.” He looks frantic as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Maybe it would be best for them to stay and I will take my chances with the Gestapo.”

At that, Erna’s cries grow even more intense and she rushes to Fritz and wraps her arms around him. “We stay together,” she sobs. “I’m not leaving you.”

Putting on my coat, I tell them, “I am going over to Herr Berger’s office. Wait here for me and stay hidden in the room at the back. I’ll only be gone a little while.”

Reluctantly, I go to ask Herr Berger for his help again. In an unbelievable expression of generosity and concern, he suggests that my sister and her family come to his office and hide there overnight until the next morning when they can board the train and get out of the country.

That evening when all the office staff have left the building, I arrive once more with Erna, Fritz, and Lily. They have no luggage, nothing but the clothes they are wearing. Their household items have already been shipped ahead to the warehouse in Shanghai but they have no belongings with them and cannot return to their apartment to pick up anything else. Feeling like fugitives, we wait for Herr Berger to let us in. He leads us through the dark halls to his office where we listen carefully as he explains what must be done. The three of them are to sleep in his office and the next day at sunrise, before anyone is at work, they are to take a taxi that he has already ordered to take them to the train station. I hold Lily in my arms so tightly that she complains I’m hurting her. I hug Erna and Fritz. We know we might never see each other again, but we still say, “Auf Wiedersehen” and hope that we will reunite across the ocean, in China.