CALCULATIONS

No matter what you start out with you always end up with so much less.
—The Hours

Myself—

the abridged, the novel that never was, subtracted,

abbreviated, a subtitle of self.

So soon to be

the slightest signal of a women, draped in my tattered flag,

holding a box of zeroes

and a mouthful of air.

When the end comes it won’t matter.

In between

I will have thought myself large, whole, my travels far,

experiences grand, many stories to tell and so on . . . .

But what emancipation—

to be diminished, reduced

to the absolute; a room deprived

of its contents, melting ice

at the bottom of someone’s glass,

the tipped bottle and its residual remains.

What delicious deliverance,

what radiant resignation

to be so much

less than I

could have ever hoped for.