NOT DEAD, BUT LOST

That’s the way I see my mother now—

in my dreams—not dead, but lost.

I spot her in a crowd

at some vast open-air market. I follow her

past long rows of vendor stalls,

never quite catching up. Sometimes she appears

behind the wheel of her car

in an endless parking lot—waiting.

Or a puff of grey hair suddenly moves

among the rotating O’s of clothing carousels.

I have left her in Women’s Blouses,

distracted by crock pots and couches.

I can see by the expression on her face

she is more than a little annoyed—

leaving her alone all those years.

I’m sorry I say, I didn’t know . . .

—I thought you were dead.

Well, she says, let’s go, I’ve been waiting

long enough. It’s time to go

home.