HOME REDUX

This morning in the garden

the soil smelled sweet.

Something beyond root

or loam.

Something about skin

and the body.

Say mother

or perfumery.

Say memory. . . .

Last night I dreamt

of the old house again.

The rooms appeared larger,

hallways deep and wrong angled.

No end to the floors,

no out there.

Only more doors, lamps on bedside tables

turned low, dishes draining

on a sideboard.

Why that house

when there were so many others?

That house

where there was never remedy,

only more inquiry; unopened boxes, talk

of paintings and rugs lost in transit—so much left

behind.

Today the grapevines reach

their long arms over the roof

of this house

and I wonder

at memory’s storerooms.

At our capacity

to accrue

the framework of windows, attic and crawlspace.

Because I could not work it out then

I interrogate that house again and again,

run the tips of my fingers

over plaster and paint—like a blind person

feeling my way

along the backs of chairs and across lampshades,

I make my way through

the tyranny of rooms.