AS IF

All maps did not lead here

and the roof of the neighbor’s house were not telling

you something slanted, sideways, a fall to come, the edge, the lip,

a slipping down.

As if this house were not your breath and pulse, its eaves and siding

weighted to your skin and the appliances did not watch

with suspicion, opening and closing with you

every day in the same t-shirt, the same instructions to the cats.

As if you had a play to conclude,

a comeuppance to render, an arrow to take.

As if all your life you thought you were headed somewhere

and the wind outside did not admonish, battering the walls

with its violent hoodoo, pushing you off-sync. Akimbo.

As if the truth were not eating its sandwich beside you every day

and the voice from your head were not preferable to the voice

from your throat.

As if now were not the point and you weren’t missing it all

in your absent-minded plotting. You have to wonder at all the things

you do to say this is mine. See, I mopped the floor, washed the pan,

inspected the oven for flaws, and that man who walks through the door

every day recognizes you from the day before; he says hi honey

as if he knew you.

As it is, you make believe—As if this. As if that.

Time will pass, and you will be left

with words fluttering in the air

as if the night’s corporeal box did not close

and keep you still.