Meg rolled up her sleeves and unbuttoned the top two buttons on her blouse. There was a faint chill still in the air, but the sun was drenching their little corner of the school steps. With closed eyes, you could pretend it was Spring. It smelt like Spring. Rose’s athletic fields were sopping wet and muddy, as all the piles of ice and snow had begun to melt, and there were puddles the size of little lakes throughout the empty parking lot.
School had been over for twenty minutes, and their bus still hadn’t come.
“Maybe I’ll just walk home.”
“That will take you about…” Johanne looked down at her phone. “Seven hours. Why didn’t you just get a ride with Elena?”
“Her sister scares me,” Meg admitted. “Plus, their family is going through a tough time right now. I don’t want to intrude.”
Elena’s father had taken a turn for the worse. She clung to Meg like a barnacle to an anchor. She said it was so helpful having a friend who’d been through something similar. And survived it unscathed. Meg tried to be supportive, but he felt like a louse every time Elena turned to her. She’d started refusing her calls. Lucy, when she was around, pressured Meg just to admit the truth, but Meg was too much of a coward. Luckily, Lucy seemed pretty preoccupied herself lately. She wasn’t available for guilt tripping.
Johanne too was leaning back and basking in the sunshine.
“I can’t believe Elena and Zach are still together.” Johanne scrolled through her phone.
“It’s the love story of the century,” Meg said. “Though both of them took a little convincing.”
Johanne’s head snapped up.
“So, that whole relationship was one of your schemes?”
“It wasn’t a scheme.” Scheme sounded so awful. Calculated and mean. And that hadn’t been her intention. Her primary intention, anyway. “I just thought Elena and Zach would make a cute couple.”
“You pushed them together,” Johanne’s voice was very matter of fact. “And Lucy knew about this? I thought she liked having Zach following her around like a lovesick little puppy dog.”
“She was all for it.” Meg was smug. “When she realized it would help her get Scott Boyd.”
Johanne shook her head, trying to make sense of all these romantic entanglements. Finally, she sighed.
“Don’t you think that was a pretty crappy thing to do, Meg? You can’t play with people like that.”
Meg had thought the plan was perfect and imagined herself a brilliant strategist, but under Johanne’s gaze, she felt shame. The corner of Jo’s mouth twitched, but the rest of her was perfectly still. Meg stared back. She may not be a great intellectual. She’d never be hunched over some ancient reference book, plotting a dissertation, but she had a different kind of knowledge. She knew people and could predict how they’d act, or guess what they were thinking, most of the time. Staring at Johanne, she could read every thought inside her neatly combed head. She thought Meg was a horrible person.
“No harm done,” she said, trying to save face. “Zach and Elena are happy. In love.”
Johanne just shook her head.
“Elena isn’t dumb you know.”
“She’s certainly smarter than I am.”
They sat in silence for a while. Meg looked out over the beautiful grounds. Everything was so wet it seemed to glisten, and the air was full of the smell of things growing out from under the old, rotting leaves. Meg’s conscience was pricking at her. She tried to ignore it.
“Do you think Lucy’s parents know how much school she’s missed?” Meg tried to change the subject. “She’s so going to get grounded.”
“There are worse punishments that grounding,” Johanne said. “Military school. Caning.”
“Lucy might enjoy caning,” Meg laughed and pulled out a black composition book from her bag. “Can we study for Bio while we wait?”
Johanne didn’t reach for her bag. Instead, she placed her phone on the steps and folded her hands.
“Did you get your report card? Let me see it.”
Meg dug in her bag for the wretched envelope. She handed the card to Johanne and watched her face fall just like her mother’s had. Johanne didn’t say anything. She just folded the paper up and handed it back to Meg.
“I haven’t failed yet.” It was the same thing she’d said to her mother.
“Yes, but you will. And what sucks is-I think you want to.”
“I don’t want to fail…”
“But you want to be on academic probation. Meg, they’re going to fail you. And then what? Back to Jefferson?”
“I won’t go back to Jefferson,” Meg said, her voice raising slightly. “I won’t. I’ll drop out.”
“Well, there’s your life then.” Johanne said. She stood up just as the school bus rattled into the parking lot. She grabbed her backpack and tossed the strap across her shoulder.
“I’ll get my GED.” Meg rose from the stairs. “I’ll get a job.”
“As what? A nurse’s aide, like your mom? You’ll need some training for that. I don’t get it, Meg. You’re not stupid. Why are you sabotaging yourself?”
Meg shook her head. They were all delusional. All of them. She was a mediocre student at best. She had no hidden talents, no big dreams. Sure, she was a decent liar, but you couldn’t lie your way into college. She’d been an idiot to think she could lie her way into high school. She’d only wanted to be safe. She didn’t want any of these extra responsibilities.
“It can’t be because of Lucy,” Johanne went on. “Lucy would be pissed that you’re throwing your life away. But if you think the two of you are going to be friends still after you drop out, then maybe you are an idiot.”
“Lucy will be my friend no matter what,” Meg said, following her out into the parking lot.
Johanne was shaking her head as she stepped on the bus.
“Try telling her the truth then. See what happens.”