When Kaitlyn walked into her mom’s kitchen that night after work, she found her busy at the table cutting shapes out of red and green construction paper and singing along to Michael Bublé Christmas songs. A fat yellow cat rolled around in the thin curls of paper on the floor.
Kaitlyn kissed her mom on the cheek and sat down at the old red table with aluminum trim. The cat stopped rolling around and stretched its body out, batting its paw on her thigh.
“Hi, Melvin,” she said, brushing the paper strips off his fur.
“How are you, sweetie?” her mom asked. She wore dangly Christmas tree earrings that swung back and forth in time to the music. And a Christmas sweater, circa 1990, also sporting a Christmas tree, with enough colored sequins to delight a four-year-old. Appropriate for Charlotte Barnes, who seemed to possess all the enthusiasm and excitement of a child, which was probably why she spent her spare time helping her neighbor with craft projects for her preschool class.
“Want some tea?” her mom asked. “It’s Christmas Calm—decaf, of course.”
That sounded kind of…good. Especially the calm part. And since Kaitlyn couldn’t stomach much, maybe the tea would stay down.
“You want some too?” Kaitlyn got up to fill the kettle. A quick glance around revealed more mail, extra boxes of tea, a box of Girl Scout cookies, and a poinsettia plant…and that was on the countertop alone.
“Kaitlyn, take a look at how cute this is.” Her mother held up green and red paper circles. “They’re wreaths. We’re going to dye rice green, and the kids are going to mold it over the wreath circle to make their own ornament. Then we’re going to have them put these little faux velvet berries on them. Aren’t they the cutest things? And their picture goes in the center.”
“Cute,” Kaitlyn said. Her mom had clearly missed her calling to be a preschool teacher. Which was why she not only helped out with the crafts, but also spent her occasional Friday afternoons off from her insurance company auditor job helping out in the classroom.
“I was going to experiment on the rice recipe next. Want to help?”
“No thanks, Mom. I’m kind of tired.” Usually she enjoyed watching her mom get carried away with all kinds of artsy stuff—and she enjoyed spending time with her. But right now Kaitlyn just didn’t have the energy.
Her mom looked up from cutting. “You do look tired. Everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine.” She would tell her mother soon, but not until she told Rafe. She wasn’t sure that was how she wanted to play it, but truthfully, she was too tired to think about it.
She made tea and glanced over at her mom, guilt dealing her a double blow—one for succumbing to Rafe’s charms and allowing this to happen and another for how her news was going to cause her mother all kinds of concern and worry.
Concern and worry led her to wonder about her niece. “Did Hazel seem okay when she got home?” Kaitlyn asked. “She had a difficult night at work.”
Her mother looked around, a little startled, as if she’d forgotten where she was. “Goodness, I’ve been so involved with this project that I’m not sure if she’s back yet.”
“Mom, I know you haven’t had a teenager around in a long time, but Hazel needs to be kept track of—diligently.” She could fall into doing drugs or hanging out with bad kids or get picked up by seedy guys coming out of the Tap late at night or…
“Oh, you’re such a worrywart. She always checks in with me before she goes to bed. I’m sure she’s fine.”
“Mom, she’s a shoplifter. She’s troubled! We have to know where she is, like, 24-7!”
“Hazel needs to feel like we trust her. It’s not good for us to be breathing down her neck like that.”
“I wish she would trust me enough to talk to me,” Kaitlyn said. “She seems so…lost.” Again it occurred to her—for all that she couldn’t seem to understand what was going on with her niece, she and Hazel weren’t all that different. Kaitlyn was a little lost too.
“She told me tonight she’s flunking her math class, and if she fails, she won’t graduate. Do you know what she’s planning to do when she graduates?” If she graduates crossed Kaitlyn’s mind, but she didn’t say that out loud.
“Well, I have no idea,” her mom said in a slightly exasperated tone.
“Graduation is six months away.”
Her mom sighed. “I expect she’ll do what everyone does—figure it out.”
“She’s smart. She can go to college. We need to guide her into making the right choices.” Kaitlyn got herself through college—while working full-time at her grandfather’s coffee shop. She’d been the first one in her family to attend college. She needed Hazel to know that she could do the same.
For the hundredth time, Kaitlyn wondered if she should’ve simply had Hazel move in with her instead of with her mom. Her tiny apartment over the coffee shop was just that…tiny. But maybe she should’ve done it anyway.
Just then the front door opened and Hazel walked in.
“Hi, Gram. Hi, Aunt Kate.” Hazel waved to her grandmother but assessed Kaitlyn with a cool, detached gaze.
“Hi, sweetie,” Kaitlyn’s mom said. “I heard you had a bit of a rough first day.”
“It was peachy,” Hazel replied, deadpan. Kaitlyn’s mom was too absorbed in her crafting to notice her scissor-sharp tone.
“You did great today, sweetie,” Kaitlyn said. “There’s a lot to learn and I’m sure—”
Hazel yawned loudly. “I’m really tired. I was just going to grab a glass of milk before I hit the sack.”
Hazel’s fragile-featured face looked as hard as the rock at Stonehenge. Lord only knew the hostile thoughts she was thinking.
“Did you eat?” Kaitlyn’s mom asked. “There’s some Chinese left in the fridge.”
“I had dinner at Aunt Kate’s.”
“Did you eat?” her mother asked Kaitlyn.
She took a sip of the tea, which she actually found soothing and palatable. The urge to retch had not resurfaced. “I’ll have something later. This tea is really good.”
Ignoring her mother’s scrutinizing look, she turned to Hazel. “Hazel, are you doing anything this weekend?”
“Well, let me see,” she said, leaning up against the counter and folding her arms. “I’ll have to check my busy social calendar.”
“I hope that means you’re free,” Kaitlyn continued, undeterred. “Because my friends have invited me to their lake house for the weekend to celebrate my birthday, and I wondered if you’d like to come.”
“To hang around with your friends?” she asked, pulling a hang-around-with-old-people face.
“Well, it’s actually a family. My two best friends and their parents. Their older sister and her children will probably be there too.”
“Hmmm. Little kids. Sounds fun.”
“Great,” Kaitlyn said, ignoring the sarcasm. “I’ll pick you up Friday at four thirty. Be packed.”
Hazel stopped leaning on the countertop. “Thanks, but I’m just dying to get started on A Tale of Two Cities. I’ve got a ton of studying to do this weekend.”
“Is Rafe coming?” Kaitlyn’s mom interjected.
“No,” Kaitlyn said a little too quickly. “He’s working.” It was a good thing, to not have him there, because he’d only be a distraction. Even if it was her birthday. And his not being there was making her a little…sad. But then, he didn’t want kids and she was having his, and that made her feel even worse.
“Have you met Rafe yet, Hazel?” Kaitlyn’s mom asked. “Oh, he’s the most handsome guy. And he’s sweet on your aunt.”
“I met him,” Hazel said. “They look at each other all googly-eyed. And they laugh at dumb Twilight jokes together.”
“He’s not ‘sweet on me,’” Kaitlyn interjected. “Rafe and I are friends.” How on earth was she going to make them believe this friends thing once they found out about the baby?
“You started out as friends,” her mom said. “Anyone can see that you two have feelings for each other.”
“Yes, Mom. Friend feelings.” Oh, what was she doing? Digging herself into a hole, that’s what.
“How come you haven’t brought him by lately? And you’ve been stumbling around all mopey. I hope you haven’t put him off.”
Put him off? Geez. Why did everyone adore Rafe so much? She knew exactly why. He was handsome and charming and funny. But he did not want kids, and he was about to get one. She wondered what her mom would think of him if she told her that. But she wouldn’t, of course.
She knew down to her core that Rafe was a kind person. Surely he would be good to their child. At least she’d thought that before.
Kaitlyn suddenly became aware of her mom and Hazel staring at her as she’d zoned out of the conversation. So she said, “Mom. Rafe and I aren’t dating.”
“Oh, don’t you give me that.” Her mom waved her hand dismissively. “You used to spend almost every free evening together. You had season tickets to the Broadway musicals series at Playhouse Square. And when you two went to that wedding as a couple last September, it took you two weekends to find the perfect dress. That’s dating behavior, if you ask me. And the way that man looks at you when you’re not looking! It’s swoony.”
Hazel’s brows arched up into question marks. “You and Rafe hang out a lot, but you don’t date?”
“That’s what Kaitlyn says, but I don’t buy the friend thing for a moment,” Kaitlyn’s mom said. “I like him so much better than Steve. He’s just what you need to lighten you up—always finding something funny to joke around about. So polite and helpful too. He plays rummy with Dorothy and remember when he helped me carry all my craft boxes up to the attic? And he’s from a good family. Honestly, Kaitlyn, I do hope you’ll give him a chance. Rafe is one of the good ones.”
Yes, Rafe had certainly charmed their elderly neighbor Dorothy, as he had 99.9 percent of all women. Ugh. But being a genuinely nice guy did not necessarily make for good husband and father material. And the fact was, Rafe didn’t want to be a husband or father.
“Aren’t you having dinner with him tomorrow?” Hazel asked. “I heard you two talking about it. He’s cooking.”
Someone. Was. About to have their neck wrung.
Her mom clapped her hands together. “See? I knew it. Wonderful!”
“Anyway.” Kaitlyn quickly shifted topic and addressed her niece. “This weekend is just a birthday dinner with my friends, and then they do fun stuff like moonlight hikes and sledding and bonfires, and games inside by the fire. And I think they’re getting their Christmas tree too. We’ll take the last ferry back Saturday afternoon, so you can still get your homework done.”
Hazel opened her mouth—probably to say no. But then Kaitlyn’s mom said something surprising. “I have my colonoscopy scheduled for Saturday morning.” She added green food coloring to a bowl of rice, focusing intently. “So, Hazel, if you stay behind, you can keep me company while I prep.”
Kaitlyn set down her tea. Wait…did her mom just intervene? More important, was she sick?
“Why do you have a colonoscopy scheduled?” Kaitlyn asked. “Is anything wrong?”
“It’s just routine,” her mom said, looking up and giving Kaitlyn a wink while Hazel dug around in the fridge. “But I have to drink gallons of this stuff that tastes like gasoline. It’s supposed to clean my whole system out. Like a massive cleanse. And they say once it gets going…look out!”
Hazel emerged from the fridge door holding the milk carton and looking dubious.
“We can watch movies,” Kaitlyn’s mom continued, “if you don’t mind pausing every so often while I run to the bathroom.”
Hazel might’ve blanched. “Um, Aunt Kate, if I can get some reading done at the lake, maybe I can go—I mean, if it’s okay with you, Gram.”
“Oh. Well, sure, of course.” Her mom even managed to sound a little disappointed. “I guess I probably wouldn’t be much fun anyway.”
“Great,” Kaitlyn said. “So four thirty then.” At first she thought it was a great idea to bring Hazel to meet the Langdons. But she was telling Rafe about the baby tomorrow. What if Rafe wanted to tell his family this weekend, while she and Hazel were at the lake house? How would all that be for Hazel to witness?
She’d have to tell him they’d do it after her birthday, at a time when Hazel wasn’t there. So at least this weekend would be free of conflict—one last weekend with the Langdons where she could pretend her whole life hadn’t completely changed.
With a quick nod, Hazel said good night, gathered up her book bag, snagged an apple from a bowl, and headed upstairs.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to make her work in the coffee shop?” her mom asked as soon as Hazel was out of range. “Especially since she’s had problems?” She made air quotes around problems.
“Yes, Mom, I do. I think she’s bored and miserable and she isn’t socializing.”
“Well, now that you’ve got her working every day, how is she going to find friends? Or keep her grades up?”
“I’m not sure yet.” Oh, geez. Was this what parenting was like?
Her mom sighed. “She has been pretty wretched here. Counting down the days until she can leave. She’s mentioned going to New York to work in the fashion industry. She loves watching Project Runway.”
“Oh, is that right?” Kaitlyn said, surprised. But the more she thought about it, the more that made sense. “She certainly has a flair for fashion.”
Her mom shrugged. “She’s talked about taking sewing lessons. I mean, Nikki taught her to sew, but she wants to learn advanced skills. I told her I thought it was an interesting idea.”
“I’m going to go in and speak to the guidance counselor. Maybe she’ll have some ideas on how we can use Hazel’s interests to get her back on track. Hazel’s got a lot of decisions to make about her future. I don’t want her to miss an opportunity to apply for scholarships or aid.”
“That’s a good idea.” Her mom, sounding distracted, was staring at her. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I don’t know. You just look…tired. Thin. Something…something seems different.”
Oh no. Kaitlyn’s mom had always had a mother’s sixth sense about what was wrong with her, mentally and physically.
“I’m fine, Mom. Really. Do you actually have a colonoscopy on Saturday?”
Her mom looked up, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Of course not. But I do have one scheduled. It saves lives.” She pushed the box of tea toward Kaitlyn. “Take the tea with you. Your complexion looks a little greeny.”
Kaitlyn picked up a cosmetic mirror that was tucked into the fruit bowl at the center of the table and looked at herself. “Greeny?” Was that even a word?
Kaitlyn felt her mom’s quietly assessing gaze for a few more beats. Then her mom said, “The tea’s got mint in it. That was the only thing that settled my stomach when I was pregnant with you.”