Kaitlyn was doing all she could to stay calm when Rafe drove her home from the hospital just before dawn, but her mind was doing cartwheels. The Langdons had dropped Hazel off, leaving Kaitlyn to catch a ride home with Rafe. “Well, that went well,” he said, exhaling a deep breath as his fingers held a death grip on the wheel.
“For Nonna, it did go well, and that’s all that matters,” Kaitlyn replied. “We can deal with the rest.” A quick glance showed him looking exhausted after the long night. “Look, Rafe, I want you to know I’ll do everything I can to straighten this mess out with your family as soon as possible.”
“I tried to pull my dad aside before we left,” he said, “but it was impossible with all the commotion.”
“I can tell your sisters, and when Nonna’s out of the hospital and everything calms down, we’ll have to tell her too.” She pointed out the window. “Oh, look. The lights are so pretty.”
Strings of lights were strung high across the street and around lampposts. Tiny white ones were wound tightly around the branches of trees to create a magical winter wonderland. It was a world away from the tension she was feeling and what she was certain Rafe was feeling too.
“It is pretty,” he said. They drove in silence for a minute. Her head was spinning, and it was good to take a breath…and a time-out.
Rafe glanced in her direction. “Hey, you know we’ll figure this out, right?”
“Right,” she said, trying to sound like she believed it. “I didn’t expect things to get so…complicated.”
“We went from baby news to engagement news faster than it takes me to slide down the pole for a three-alarm fire,” he said. “You’re right—that’s pretty complicated.”
“I mean, they think we’re…together. Going to get married. They were all so…happy.”
Kaitlyn rubbed her forehead. Instead of the familiar surroundings of their town, she saw the faces of Rafe’s family, smiling and teary-eyed.
“Rafe, don’t miss the last turn,” she said, pointing out the window and tapping him on the arm.
“Oh, sorry,” he said, rubbing his cheek. It made a scratchy sound from the stubble that had grown overnight. He looked exhausted but very masculine, a thought she immediately tried to erase. He dropped his hand just then and it accidentally landed right on hers between the two seats. She intended to jerk away, but his hand felt so…good. Warm and soft, the feel of the callouses on his palm comforting. A sign of strength. If only she could believe he had the kind of strength she needed. That she could count on.
As usual, at his touch, her pulse ran as rampant as a corral full of stampeding bulls, and a thunderbolt of attraction skittered up her arm and invaded her entire body with heat. Sort of like their kiss in front of Nonna. That kiss had been…amazing.
This was why she didn’t touch Rafe.
Or why when she did, disaster struck.
His hand lingered over hers for seconds too long. He gave her hand a squeeze, which she didn’t return. But she didn’t pull away either.
As he pulled into one of the diagonal spaces in front of the Bean, he looked over at her. “We’re in this together, okay? Together.”
She sucked in a deep breath—that was a surprise. It had come out of nowhere, yet he’d sounded adamant and sincere, his voice cracking a little at the end. She managed to toss him a quick nod before she tugged her hand away, busying herself with gathering up her purse and gloves.
“Thanks for the ride,” she said, collecting her things and wrapping up her scarf.
“Wait a minute.” He turned off the car and pulled out his key. “I’m walking you up.”
She stifled a yawn. “Rafe, you are not walking me upstairs. Go home.” She flicked her hands in his direction. “Shoo.”
“I’m walking you up,” he said more firmly. He tried to cut the edge of his words with a smile, but she could tell he meant what he said. He’d always hated her living alone. Downtown was a friendly place, but no one really lived down here.
“If you insist, but it’s very safe. No one even bothers to lock their doors.”
He had one thing to say about that. “You’d better lock yours.”
* * *
He opened her car door for her and walked her up a narrow staircase accessible from the inside of the building. They reached the top of the stairs and Kaitlyn turned to him. “No one’s around. You can stop pretending to be my fiancé.”
They were at the landing now. The dim, orangey hall light was buzzing loudly over her door.
Rafe frowned and reached out to touch her arm. “Katie, I know I didn’t handle the baby news well. But I’m trying here…trying to show you how much I do care about you and this baby.”
She glanced from her arm to his face and she looked…surprised. But also skeptical. Untrusting. He didn’t blame her. He’d given her no reason to think otherwise.
“Okay,” she said. “Well. Thanks for walking me up, but—”
Rafe gently took the key out of her hand, opened the door, and flipped on a light. Of course everything was fine. But he wanted—no, needed—to show her he was all in for her. He wanted to be the man she could count on, not one who made her go pale with dread.
He walked over to the windows and looked at the little town beneath them, literally glowing with lights—with Christmas joy. He tried to focus on the joy, the thrill—that Kaitlyn and his family felt at welcoming this baby. Babies were awesome! He squeezed his eyes shut and tried—willed himself—to channel that joy.
One day, everything could be fine, and the next day, everything could be…gone.
He ran his hand absently down the sides of the windows, feeling the cold air seep in from seemingly everywhere. “These windows are drafty.” He began tinkering with the sash, looking under the drapes, running his hand along the caulking. “Really drafty.”
At the same time, she said, “It’s really late,” and yawned. “Or rather early.”
He hadn’t realized how intensely he was inspecting everything until she made him stop by tugging him by the arm. “Tomorrow is another day for home inspection, Mr. Firefighter. Go home and get some rest.”
“What’s your plan with the baby’s room?” he asked, glancing into her bedroom as she guided him toward the door.
“Oh. I thought I’d give the baby my room and move my bed out here.” Her apartment had some nice architectural elements, like an exposed brick wall and really beautiful crown moldings. But it had just one bedroom, right off the main room.
He sighed. “You probably wouldn’t consider moving?”
She smiled. “From this beauty? It’s close to work and free—what more could I ask for?”
“Um, a place where the heating pipes don’t wake you up at night, where the plaster’s not crumbling, and where you aren’t the only human being around?” Rafe moved toward the bedroom. “Mind if I have a look?”
“Now?” She thought he was out of his mind. And after the long night, he must be. But he didn’t want to leave things like this. He couldn’t fix himself, but he could certainly fix her apartment.
“I’ll just take a quick look.” He examined the room that would one day become the baby’s, flipping on the wall switch, which lit up a small bedside lamp. The tidy double bed and a stack of books on the bedside table didn’t surprise him—Kaitlyn always made her bed, and she was always reading. In his mind he saw her reading in bed after a long day. He’d come sit on the edge and gently tug the book out of her hands—and show her what else they could use this space for.
Whoa…where did that thought come from?
He cleared his throat, took a step back, forced himself to look at the ceiling. “No overhead lighting in here.”
“No but that’s okay. I can make do,” she said, suppressing another yawn.
“I’d like to come back tomorrow and see if I can run some electrical wires into the attic crawl space. What do you think of some track lighting in here?”
She took his arm and guided him through the living room to the front door. “I don’t need track lighting.”
“You should have some,” he said. “And I’ll caulk your windows too.”
“Hmm,” she said, tapping a finger against her cheek. “My kitchen faucet is a little drippy. And the dryer’s making a funny noise.”
“I’ll look at those too.”
“Thank you, but I’m kidding. Everything’s fine. See you later, okay?”
He looked her in the eye. “I meant what I said. About being here. Being involved. I—I want to be involved. We’ll get through all of this—together. We’ll straighten out this thing with my family. I promise you, it’s all going to be all right.”
She nodded, but her lips were pressed together in a thin line. He knew her well enough to know that she didn’t believe him, that she was humoring him. She opened the door for him.
“Good night, Rafe.”