Randy!” Rafe yelled his buddy’s name into his radio but got no answer. Through a weird twist of fate, Rafe found himself suited up in his turnout gear in the middle of a burning warehouse instead of in a Santa suit at the shelter kids’ Christmas party. The mutual aid call for the four-alarm fire had gone out to all the surrounding counties just as Rafe had been driving to the party. He’d had just enough time to pull into the station and ride the engine with the Angel Falls crew.
As he made his way through a wall of thick black smoke, the irony wasn’t lost on him that he probably got exactly the evening he deserved. He knew he’d screwed up with Kaitlyn. But his only goal now was to do his job, get out of here alive, and make things right. And to do that, he had to block everything else out of his mind.
Visibility was worse than a whiteout snowstorm. Except this was blackout, and he could barely see farther than the tip of his nose. The fire had already eaten through most of the wall in front of them and was now savaging the left half of the building. Their job had been to take a hose line in together through a doorway to attack the south end of the building. But where was Randy?
Rafe followed the hose line, taking care to stay as far away as he could from the tall shelving units loaded with boxes and parts for farm machinery. “Come on, buddy,” he said into his radio. “You still owe me a beer from crawling under that porch a few weeks ago.”
Rafe couldn’t help but think about how much his life had changed since then—for the better, in a hundred different ways he couldn’t begin to describe, all because of Kaitlyn. He couldn’t think of that now—of her. Or how he’d screwed it all up.
A loud, piercing noise sounded over the roar of the fire and made Rafe curse. It was the alarm device on an air pack, Randy’s air pack, and it was a sound of dread, because it meant he was definitely down. With a mixture of fear and apprehension, Rafe followed the sound to where his buddy lay slumped on the floor. Machinery parts that had crashed down from nearby shelving units were scattered all around him. His helmet was knocked off, indicating that something had likely hit him on the head.
Rafe’s heart sank as he saw that Randy’s mask had gotten knocked off too. How long had he been without his mask? “No,” he said, refusing to believe the worst. He bent low over his friend’s face, listening for breath, looking for chest movement. “Hey, you ugly mutt,” he said, sighing in relief when he saw him breathe, “you’d better not die on me, you hear?” He carefully replaced his friend’s mask, found his helmet a few feet away, and put that back on too.
A loud clatter made Rafe look up just in time to see the huge shelves shifting, chunks of burning debris and drywall falling, scalding hot sparks bursting like fireworks. With horror, Rafe watched a ceiling beam split and tumble down toward them, taking with it more pieces of red-hot drywall. Summoning all his strength, he shoved Randy and himself out of the way, just as the beam crashed down.
With a sudden blow, Rafe was thrown flat on the ground, pain shooting through his leg. Twisting his body, he realized his right foot was pinned under the massive beam, which had fallen across the doorway, blocking their way out. He yanked and pulled and pushed, using his other leg as leverage, but his foot wouldn’t budge.
Randy, thank God, was lying a good distance from the fallen beam. But now luck was not on Rafe’s side. Pinned and separated from help, he saw fire advancing from the south wall. Things were not looking good.
Rafe tugged hard, struggling to release his foot. This could not be the end. He wasn’t going to die here never having told Kaitlyn how he felt. He couldn’t leave her wondering if he ever loved her.
For all that time, he’d held back. Never admitted his feelings to himself or to her. Even when she was leaving his house this morning, he could have told her what was in his heart. Even when she was angry and pushing him away, he could have said he loved her, but he’d been too afraid.
And now he would never have the chance.
The irony, he realized now, was that all this time he’d kept her at arm’s length, afraid to fall, afraid to love. But the truth was, he already did.
It was too late to try to protect himself because he loved her with all his heart. And he loved their baby.
He wanted that life—that life with her in it every single day. With their baby. And the puppy. With more babies and more dogs. He wanted it all. He did not want to die without ever telling her how much he loved her and their child.
The ceiling above them cracked and groaned, more evidence of the warehouse giving its final death knell. He was running out of time.
He pulled again at his boot. Yanked harder, with all his muscle, all his might, thinking of Kaitlyn, of everything he still needed to say. And then he prayed.
It just wasn’t enough.
With one hand, he pulled his ax out of its scabbard. He hacked over and over, trying to free up enough of the beam so he could pull his foot out. Then he tugged on his foot again, but no give.
He loosened his laces and worked his foot back and forth, over and over. Finally, it gave and came free, sending him tumbling backward from the force.
Rafe scrambled to his feet knowing he had no margin for error. The warehouse had windows, but where were they? He grabbed Randy’s air pack straps and dragged him away from the fallen beam, in the opposite direction of the door, praying he was right. A straight shot. He knew where he had to go. What he had to do to get out.
Please, God, help me find the window.
He hit a wall and groped frantically. He felt wall, more wall, and then finally…finally the texture of smooth, thin glass.
Chunks of ceiling were starting to rain down around them like fireballs. Rafe used his ax to shatter the glass and hack at the sharp shards. Lifting Randy into a fireman’s carry around his shoulders, clutching Randy’s arm to his chest, he half climbed, half tumbled out of the window, onto grass and snow, Randy tumbling with him. Rafe righted himself and, limping, dragged his buddy away from the collapsing building, the fire and smoke, the danger.
Suddenly there were hands, so many hands, grabbing Randy, grabbing him. Then he was carried out and away and lifted onto a stretcher. The paramedics were helping him out of his coat, his pants, his one good boot, placing a mask on him, and doing something to his foot, which was suddenly beginning to hurt like hell.
All he knew was he was alive. Maggie McDougal, Jon’s wife from the Tap, was on duty and tending to him, and he grabbed her by the arm. Yanking off his mask, he asked her if Randy was all right. She glanced over her shoulder at the other team of paramedics working on Randy. “He hit his head pretty badly, but he’s alive and breathing,” she said as she replaced Rafe’s mask. “That’s all I know right now.”
He grasped Maggie’s arm again. “I need Kaitlyn.”
“She’s here, big guy,” she said, sounding a little teary, patting Rafe’s arm. “She’s right here.”
Maggie affixed an IV bag to the pole near his head and stepped aside. Suddenly Kaitlyn was beside him, a panicked look in her eyes that he hoped he’d never see again. And he swore that he’d do everything in his power to make that happen. She barreled into his arms and clung to him. He pulled off his O2 again and wrapped his arms around her.
“Katie,” he said, holding her tightly, burying his face in her hair. “Katie.”
“Rafe,” she said, spilling tears onto his T-shirt. When he pulled back, he saw she had tear streaks all down her face, and her nose was running. And she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“I love you,” he said, grasping for her, threading his hands in her hair. “I love you,” he repeated, pulling back a little, making sure she saw in his eyes that this was for real. “I love our baby. I want our life together.” His voice cracked. “And I’m so, so sorry for what I put you through.” He could not hold her tightly enough. He smoothed her hair, kissed her forehead, wiped her tears with his thumbs.
“Rafe—I’m sorry I pushed you away. I knew you wanted to say something—I didn’t give you a chance.”
“Being in that fire made me realize something—that it’s too late for me to worry about holding back.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “Because I already love you with all my heart. I have for a long time. You’re my everything. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I’m here for the long haul.”
* * *
Kaitlyn felt like she was dreaming those words. Dreaming this entire night, with all its terror and now, all the relief. She clutched at him, ran her hands up and down his chest to prove to herself he was really okay. “I love you too, Rafe. I’ve always loved you.”
She lowered her lips to his. Rafe curled his hand around her neck and brought her close, kissing her full and hard on the mouth, a kiss full of joy and happiness and the promise of many more to come.
“Okay, lovebirds,” Maggie said, slipping his mask back on for the third time. “Time for more vitamin O2, big guy.”
“Is he—is he going to be all right?” Kaitlyn asked. She looked up to suddenly find all the Langdons gathered around. Rachel and Dr. Langdon were up front, Dr. Langdon checking Rafe’s heart monitor and oxygen saturation and asking Maggie details about his condition. Rachel stood wringing her hands, flanked by Colton and Cade. Sara and Gabby were both bawling. Evie and Joe each held one of Nonna’s hands.
“How is he?” Nonna asked.
“His foot’s pretty messed up,” Gabby said, cracking a smile. “But it looks like the rest of him isn’t anymore.”
“Thanks, Gabs,” Rafe said, pulling off his mask to talk. “Hey, everybody. I’m fine,” he said, giving a wave. He was fine. The finest he’d been in a very long time. He laced his fingers around Kaitlyn’s. “Don’t leave, okay?” he murmured, just as Maggie wheeled him to the ambulance.
“Never,” she said.
“How’s Randy now?” he asked Maggie.
“Conscious and ornery,” Maggie said, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “Just like you.”
“Thank God,” Rafe said, finally leaning back onto the gurney and closing his eyes.
* * *
Kaitlyn closed the blinds at the Bean at eight on Christmas Eve. “I think we’re done,” she said to Rafe, who was loading the dishwasher and sanitizing the cream pitchers, even though he was limping a little on his bandaged foot.
She peeked through the slats in the blinds. Giant, fat flakes of snow were falling and starting to stick. They couldn’t have asked for a more perfect Christmas, even though the snow was just the icing on the cake. “It’s beginning to snow. And oh—the FedEx guy’s pulling up.”
The bell over the door rang, and Larry, her usual FedEx delivery guy, walked in, dusting snow off his jacket.
“Hey, Larry,” she said, heading behind the counter. “I still have some coffee left. Want a cup to go?”
“I’d love some,” Larry said, stamping the snow off his feet. “I still have a half-dozen deliveries left.” He slid an envelope across the counter to Kaitlyn. She placed a handful of cookies in a bag and passed them over the counter with a to-go cup. “Trade you,” she said, smiling.
“Thanks,” he said, taking the coffee and cookies. “Merry Christmas to you both.”
“Merry Christmas, Larry,” Rafe said.
Rafe opened the door for Larry and then locked it behind him. Then he flipped off the overhead lights, turning the Bean into a twinkly Christmas wonderland, illuminated by the strings of colored lights that ran over the counters and crisscrossing the old ceiling tiles.
Kaitlyn stood in front of the counter, her arms folded. “It’s pretty Christmasy in here,” she said.
“We should do something,” he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“Well, the floors do need to be swept,” she said, biting down on her lip to keep from laughing.
“Um, not what I had in mind,” he said, stepping closer.
“How about the counters. We could definitely scrub the counters,” she said, tapping a finger to her lips in mock consideration.
“I had something a little more romantic in mind.”
He kissed her, a slow, wonderful kiss, his lips just grazing hers before he pulled away.
She opened one eye. “Why did you stop?”
“It’s more Christmasy at home. What do you say we get out of here, go turn on the tree, and make out on the couch?” He came closer and rested his hands on her hips. Nuzzled her neck until she arched just from the sheer pleasure of it. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, the envelope dropped to the floor.
Rafe bent to pick it up, his eyes suddenly widening as he straightened up to his full height. “Katie, you’re not going to believe this.” He passed the cardboard envelope over to her. “Open it.”
She glanced from Rafe to the envelope and back again before she finally tore it open, using the perforations. The return address read “Famous Cookie Company.” She stared at the envelope. Then at him. “It’s the contest.”
She nearly dropped the envelope. “My hands are shaking,” she said, shoving it into his hands. “You open it.”
Rafe reached in with his hand, only to pull out another sealed envelope.
“Open it, Rafe,” she whispered. She sat there on the counter, shielding her eyes with her hands, holding her breath, waiting for what felt like an eternity for Rafe to read the letter to her.
When she finally got up the courage to look, he was staring at her, breaking into a huge grin. “Well, I’ll be.”
Kaitlyn tried to see the paper over his shoulder but couldn’t. “What? What is it?” Did they send rejection letters by FedEx? She had no idea.
A giant grin lit Rafe’s handsome face, nearly making her forget all about the contest. “You won,” he said quietly.
“I won?” That wasn’t really computing until Rafe picked her up from the counter and twirled her around the café.
“Yep,” he said, nodding. His dark eyes shone with excitement. She put a hand over her heart because it felt full to bursting.
“You won it all,” Rafe said, opening his arms wide and laughing incredulously. “The money, the pastry classes. The whole contest. The grand fricking prize. Congratulations.”
She jumped into his arms and kissed him good and hard.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Rafe said, kissing her back. “You didn’t give up—on experimenting or on finding the recipe. Brava for you.”
“I hit the jackpot,” she said. “But not because of a cookie recipe.” Then she kissed him on the lips.
* * *
It didn’t take Kaitlyn long to collect her things from her apartment and move them back to Rafe’s. Later that night, after they had taken full advantage of making out near the Christmas tree, she entered their bedroom to find Rafe sitting up in bed wearing a plain white T-shirt and scrub pants, his bandaged foot propped up on pillows. He was reading one of those thrillers he was so fond of, which would be the last thing she’d ever read before trying to fall sleep.
The sight of him in his reading glasses unexpectedly bowled her over, making warmth diffuse through her chest and spread everywhere, because surely there was nothing sexier than a big, burly firefighter with reading glasses—and he was all hers.
She lay down next to him and rested her head in the crook of his arm. She couldn’t help but notice how perfectly she fit there. A little sigh of contentment escaped her as she settled in next to him. “I can’t wait to see my sister tomorrow,” she said. “I’m so glad she was able to fly in.”
“Hazel seemed excited to see her mom too. It’s been a long six months.”
Kaitlyn nodded. “I think she’s going to be okay.”
Rafe half frowned. “What makes you say that?”
“Because she told me she’s getting so many orders for her organic baby booties she’s going to have to hire out the crocheting. She’s even commissioned Nonna to make some.”
“Is that right?” he said, absently stroking his arm. “Well, I’m not surprised. Love can turn anybody around.”
“I’m just glad she’s happy.” She looked over at him. “You’re really cute when you read, but are you going to be doing that much longer?”
A wry grin lit his face. “Can’t stay away from me, can you?”
She gave a pretend huff and crossed her arms. “Well, if you’re going to be cocky about it, just keep reading.”
“Oh, hey,” he said, casually glancing up. “I have something for you.”
She immediately sat up. “Is it a surprise?” she asked, rubbing her hands together expectantly.
He shut his book and smiled down at her. “Nah, I wouldn’t say so.”
“Well, what is it?” she asked.
He reached behind his pillow and handed her a small box. The box. The kind of box that made her heart thud crazily in her ears and her hands tremble. She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Rafe, I—”
“Open it,” he whispered.
She didn’t hesitate. She cracked it open to find a beautiful diamond ring, simple and perfect. “I love it.”
“It was my mom’s,” he said. “You can change the setting any way you want to make it yours, of course.”
“It’s perfect,” she said, tearing up, seeing in his eyes how much this meant to him. “And—I love the simplicity of it. Just the way it is. I feel honored to wear your mom’s ring.”
Rafe nodded at that, and he too seemed to be fighting back emotion. She kissed him and stroked his face gently with the back of her hand. “I love it. And I love you.”
“I think I forgot to ask the question,” he said, kissing her back. Looking into her eyes, he asked, “Will you marry me, Kaitlyn?”
“Yes,” she said, punctuating her answer with a kiss. “Yes, yes, and yes.” And many more kisses followed.
Afterward, he took up his book again, absently stroking her arm while she lay next to him, enjoying being nestled in the crook of his arm and occasionally rotating her fingers so her ring caught the light and sparkled a million different ways.
“Next Christmas is going to be a lot different,” she mused. “The baby will be here, the puppy will be big…and maybe we’ll invite Hazel and Nikki to stay with us. Would that be okay with you?”
“What’s a couple more with all the rest of the chaos?”
Rafe pulled off his glasses and focused his gaze on her. She felt flooded with love, and in that moment, she knew two things.
One, that she truly loved this man, with her whole heart and soul. That what she’d felt in the beginning in her blind crush was nothing compared to what she felt now that she truly knew him. The second was that Rafe was hers, completely and fully hers. The funny, joking Rafe was back, just the way he was when they were friends…except now they were more. So much more.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m really looking forward to all of that,” he said.
“All of what?” she asked.
“To all of it, Katie. All of…life. To doing it all with you.” He turned—a little awkwardly because of his foot—to wrap both his arms around her. Then he kissed her forehead.
“How’s your foot feeling?” she asked.
“It’s hurting a little.”
“Oh no,” she said. “Poor thing.”
He grimaced. “Yeah, it’s pretty painful.” He paused and gave her a deeply meaningful look. “I think I might need a kiss.”
She climbed on top of him and pulled the edges of his T-shirt up, sliding her hands up the warm, sculpted muscles of his chest. “I can think of something else that might help you forget the pain,” she said.
“I can’t wait,” he said, settling his hands on her hips.
But instead of kissing him, she wiggled out of his grasp, climbed off the bed, and ran out of the room, returning with a present.
“Merry Christmas,” she said. “It’s just something little.”
He opened it to find the photo of them kissing at the falls, backlit by white twinkling lights, the angel statue behind them, making a heart with its wings.
He propped the photo up on the nightstand. “That was the night of our first date.”
She rested a hand on her belly. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, it was the first night we chose to go on a date, we didn’t just let things happen. That’s what I’ll always think of when I see this.”
“I also enjoyed our first pre-date,” she said, making air quotes for pre-date.
“We’ve known each other for twenty years. What’s a pre-date?”
She shot him a poignant look.
“Oh, wait.” She saw the second he got what she meant. “You mean…the wedding?”
She nodded. “We can re-create that. Like, we can turn out the lights and pretend it’s a blackout.”
“You’re on,” he said. “Except we might have to be a little creative with my foot all wrapped up.”
“I can do creative,” she said.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” he said, reaching under the bed. “I have something else for you too.”
She flashed her ring finger. “Isn’t this enough for one day?”
“Hey, it’s Christmas. This is a Christmas present.” He twisted his back a little to lift a big rectangular box from under the bed.
She frowned. “But my present wasn’t—”
He placed a finger on her lips and looked lovingly into her eyes, which made her think that he was the only thing she wanted, would ever want. Him. Just him.
“You gave me everything for Christmas, Katie,” he said. “I know you hate accepting gifts. But it’s something I really want you to have. And to use every day, not just for special occasions. All right?”
It seemed important to him, so she sighed and said, “I love it already, because you seemed to put so much thought into it.” Then she tore into it.
It was the gorgeous camel-colored coat. Wrapped in an elegant nest of tissue paper that even smelled wonderful, like lavender. She climbed off the bed and unfolded it, running her hands up and down its gorgeous, soft length, then sat next to him on the bed. “I love it,” she said, rubbing her chin against the soft furry collar. “I’m thrilled you want me to have it.”
“Try it on,” he said.
She ran into the bathroom and came back with it on. And she just might’ve left her pj’s on the bathroom floor, but she didn’t tell him that.
“What do you think?” she asked, climbing over him and leaning down low so that she was very near—close enough to see the tiny crinkles around his eyes, the fullness of his lips, the strength of his stubbled jaw, and the extreme tenderness in his eyes.
“I love it,” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, running his fingertips down her cheek, and wrapping his hand around her neck to draw her even closer.
“I need some help with the buttons,” she said, and of course, being a gentleman, he complied, unfastening them and peeling back one side of the coat.
“Wow. Oh, wow,” he said, settling his hands on her hips. “Merry Christmas to me.”
Kaitlyn laughed as he drew her in for a kiss. She sat up and ran her hand along the fine, soft material of the coat. “I really love it,” she said, as his hands strayed over her warm skin, leaving a trail of tingles everywhere, splaying across her abdomen where their baby grew.
“But Rafe,” she said, her voice cracking a little as he moved again to kiss her, “all I really ever wanted for Christmas was you.”
He gave a soft chuckle. “Merry Christmas, Katie. I love you.”
The expensive coat hit the floor with a soft thud.
And then they made it the best Christmas of all.