I traveled long distances in that dream. London was as I remembered, dreary and grey. Teeter and Marna were decorating their walls with marker and crayon. This act, above all others, turned Mum’s remaining strength to wrath.
“Stop it,” I said, and they both spun. I expected them to rush into my arms. After all, it was nearly a year since I’d been home.
They did not move.
“You’re back,” said Teeter. “Did you enjoy your trip?”
“I-I don’t know that I would use the word ‘enjoy’.”
Marna stood. “You were gone a long time.”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Are you?” asked Teeter. “You left us alone.”
At this point, I felt the terror of loose footing. That maybe this wasn’t the real world. Maybe I also had slipped through.
I peeked up at my flat’s ceiling, but could see no light.
“You were hardly alone,” I said. “I waited until the day Dad was returning. Children left with a parent are not alone.”
Marna and Teeter both frowned and looked at each other. Teeter marched toward me. “What Dad?”
And a ball, not a golf ball but a wrecking ball, shifted in my belly. I ran out of their bedroom and through the flat. “I’m back. Where is everyone?”
I found Mum in the kitchen, slumped over in a chair. Her head rested on the table. Her arms hung down at her sides.
“Blasted again.”
I found the exit to the dream and slowly floated away from the scene, feeling very alone and wondering if my mum had been blasted after all.
My eyes opened.
My body was stiff. I rubbed the back of my neck and peered toward the east, where the sun hinted its arrival. Dawn had come to Wisconsin, and FFA was right: with colourful trees and rolling hills, it was beautiful.
“We should get go —”
He already had.
I jumped out of the car and ran through the rest area. I circled the building and dashed back, searching the back of the car. His bag was gone. The feeling of the dream returned, and I panicked. I would like to say my mind’s concern was fixed on Elias, but if FFA were here, I would admit to a different truth.
I was nervous for myself. Floating around this world was a boy who might know my most terrible secret. What could he see? Did he hear the scream? Did he see my Dad’s shouts? Perhaps non-god was getting even.
A gnawing loneliness worked through me, and I needed to find Elias. Guinevere had certainly discovered our departure. This responsibility was not lost on me.
I turned the key and squealed backward. East. He would head east, perhaps waiting for dawn to guide his way.
I accelerated onto the motorway. With every mile covered, there was less chance of finding him, and five miles down the road there was still no sign.
And then there was.
Elias walked on the side of the road, his pace brisk and his thumb extended. I slowed to a stop and lowered the passenger window.
“Just where did you think you were off to? I thought we had a deal. I thought we were in this together!” I pushed out of the car and rounded the bonnet, carrying equally the urges to smack and hug him. I stopped well into his personal space. “Have you nothing to say for yourself?” I jabbed him in the chest with my pointer. “How could you just leave me alone?”
“Leave you? I thought you left me.”
I stepped back. “I was right there in the car. What notion filled your brain . . . Ah. I see, left you for FFA,” I said, and the thought made me smile. “Oh, Elias, I’ve never seen him. We aren’t together, so no worries.”
“You’ve never seen who?”
“FFA. The one who you . . . you thought I was with.” I paused. “He is what this drama was all about, isn’t he?”
“Listen. I don’t know who you’re talking about. I went for a walk and you disappeared. How can I trust you if you aren’t reliable? This quest is no small matter.”
The Other One.
“I didn’t disappear. You started walking. It was you.” I slumped back against the car. How short my moments with the coherent Elias were becoming. Six hours. That’s as long as I had him, and I slept away the time.
“But you’re right. It is no small matter.” I opened the passenger door. “Please, get in the car. We have some distance to travel, correct?”
He ducked his head inside and pulled it back out. “What do you know about the destination?”
Lighthouse. Salt air.
Lightkeeper.
“Nothing, but I am sure you will tell me, test me at the appropriate time.”
Elias rolled his bag over the seat and climbed in. I slowly walked around the back. According to my mobile, we were thirty-four hours from the coast. We could be there and back in three days. A frightening three for Guinevere, but perhaps forgivable under the circumstances.
With the sun in my face, and the feeling of loneliness fading to memory, I pulled back onto the road.
“As you surely know, Salem is a very strangely shaped country. One moment you’re in it, the next you are not,” Elias said.
“Yes. I’ve noticed that. One moment in, next moment out.”
“Your importance as my guide cannot be overstated. As we search for . . . as we journey, we must remain in Salem. The country is surrounded by enemies, as dangerous as the one we’ve been sent to find . . .” He paused. “Only in Salem will we be safe.”
So we’re looking for an enemy.
Elias dug in his back pocket and removed a folded wad. “It’s time you saw the map. This will keep us on track.” He unfolded it and spread it over his lap. I glanced over and cleared my throat.
“That . . . is an autumn constellation map.”
“That is correct.”
“Which, if we were looking for Andromeda, may serve a useful purpose, but we’re not looking for small points of light, are we?”
At this, Elias hinted a grin. A rarity. “Not points of light.”
“A Lightkeeper.” I shook my finger toward the sky.
Elias quickly folded the star finder. “What do you know about that? Where did you hear that name?”
How firmly I had judged those at the inn. How cruel, I thought, to gamble for Elias’s delusions. But as I listened to him, I could not escape it. This is who he was right now: the Other Elias. This was him. The real world had gone, and Salem was all that remained.
“My position as . . . as your queen’s —”
“Daughter, certainly. She would have mentioned the Lightkeeper to her own daughter. Do you have any ideas where we need to go?”
“The East Coast, perhaps? With lighthouses and salty air? She said nothing concrete.”
“My sense exactly. So we will use this map and your manual and piece together the precise location. See . . .” He swept his hands over the map. “As long as these stars show in the sky, we can be certain we are in Salem. I suggest especially watching for Orion. Based on its position, we can remain in Salem while we journey east.”
“Is that so?”
Elias nodded. “So during the day, we cannot travel or we may end up entering another country entirely. We will stop each morning in Salem and wait for night to fall. If it’s clear, and we see Orion in the correct position, we’ll know we’re still on track.”
I frowned. “Or we could just drive to the coast.”
Elias’s voice turned hard. “You are my guide, and my queen’s daughter, so I trust you with my life. But I was placed in charge of this quest. You need to trust me with yours. Trust me with how we should proceed: Only at night. Only beneath Orion. Always east. Oh, and one last item. As we pass through Salem, it would be best if we were not known. Our high profiles make us desirable targets. I think we should change our names.”
A burn ignited deep within me. My name. Was it beautiful? Was it homely? It didn’t matter. It was mine. Untouched by anyone since my birth.
“I would very much like to keep my name.”
“Then at least use another. For our protection.” He thought. “Clarita. How does that sound?”
“Awful,” I said.
“Good, and what would you like to call me?”
This is a very bad time to ask me this question.
Words forced out from between gritted teeth. “Jason Bourne.”
“Jason. That will work fine. Now, daylight is almost here. We’ll need to stop shortly. Clarita, will you kindly guide this vehicle to the center of Salem? And we will wait for evening to head further east.”
“Sure, Jason.” I removed my mobile, my voice a mutter. “The center of Salem. There is no Salem. You need proof? Here, watch me enter the term Salem, Wisconsin. Watch absolutely nothing . . . pop . . . up.”
I stared at the screen.
“What does your machine read?” So confident, I wanted to smack him.
“There is one. Salem, Wisconsin, located in Kenosha County, between Milwaukee and Chicago . . .”
“Of course there is. How long until our arrival?” asked the new Jason.
“A couple hours.”
“That’s more daylight driving than I’d like, but it’ll need to do. Wake me when we arrive.”
Minutes later, Jason slept deep and content.
I drove agitated and confused. In the recent past, I had forfeited my name, feigned citizenship in Salem, and now was driving toward the center of my new homeland.
“London is home. London is home.” My breathed mantra confused me still more. Not since Dad was whisked away had home carried a positive charge. I gladly allowed England’s memories to fade. But now they were an anchor.
Home was falling through the cracks.
I blinked hard and focused on the road, allowing my thoughts to travel on paths that led back to Marbury Street.
Clarita. How does that sound?
Clarita. Clara.
Home.