I sleep

with one foot on the floor

I think I will never

shake this rocking out of me

I am cargo

and I am seasick

and at night I see an eye

at the hole in the wall

and it is the eye of the man

the man who is my handler

I am learning

to navigate by a strip of light on the deck

and things aren’t

happening fast enough

and my chest heaves

and my sweat is yellow

and there is no way

to make the toothpain go away

besides

oh how many times

must I plait my hair

and I suffer night terrors

and I lack the privacy to be disgusting

and my stomach is angry