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We’d taken a table at the side of the pub, with Max between me and Bailey, Tilley, between Max’s paws, and Buttercup between me and Jack.
We all ordered, then Bailey asked, “So how exactly are you going to work full time and take care of a dog?”
“You said he needs a job.”
“Aye.”
“Okay, I’ll hire him at the restaurant.”
“Right, sure. Doing what exactly?”
“I’m working on it.”
Bailey grinned, seemed about to say something then sorta slumped down in her seat. “Um, Sophie, did you call your brother?”
Oh, no. Oh crap. I’d left my phone in my purse, my purse in my car, and hadn’t even thought about calling into work. I’ve never missed work a day in my life, and now my family was probably frantic.
I chanced a glance at the door, and sure enough, there stood Luca, looking both worried and thunderous at the same time.
Abashed, I stood, called his name, and gave him a tiny wave.
The worried look vanished as my thundering big brother stomped over. “Sophia! You don’t answer your phone no more? Are you pazzo! Do you have any idea how worried you’ve had us? Santa merda! First I get a call from Mama, then Papa, then Nanna, then Nonno, who by the way, has convinced Paolo you’ve been abducted by the mob. Which means he’s either in hiding or gorging himself on cannoli. Then I had to find you. You have not been so easy to find! Shame, Sophia, shame for not calling.”
Bailey started to speak, but Jack put up his hand to stop her. He was just about to stand up, either to defend me and take on my brother, or...or who knew what Jack might do. Play sheriff maybe and arrest us both. Anyway, no one had a chance to say or do a thing because Max stood up, walked over to stand in front of Luca and growled. A low, deep growl that meant business.
I’d never been defended by a dog before and I patted Max’s head, letting him know I was all right. “It’s Okay, Max. Sit. Stay.” Then I glared at Luca and smacked my forehead. “Mamma mia! You want this dog to eat you? I might just let him!” Then I went off on Luca in the longest Italian tirade of all Italian tirades in the history of Italia. It was something that would make our mother proud. My face grew hot, my hands went berserk, and my temper grew fierce. So what if I hadn’t called. It was barely noon! I was an adult! Plus, I loved Max and I wasn’t about to let my oldest brother bully me into giving him up.
When I finally, finally calmed down, I explained to Luca how Max came to be the newest addition to our family. Sort of. The new, BS amended version.
“Family?” Luca pulled his hair straight up with both hands. “He wants to eat me! That would be the worst kind of cannibalism.”
Max looked at me and stood. Slowly, alternating with his nose and hindquarters, he backed Luca into the only other chair at the table. Which was no small feat, either. Luca was tall, and broad, and mostly intimidating.
Hmmm, I thought. Max was a shepherd. Herding must come naturally. Seating people was a kind of herding. I said, “Max,” to get his attention. When he looked at me, I held up my napkin and said, “Give Luca a napkin, Max. Napkin.”
Max walked to the next table, grabbed a cloth napkin, and set it in Luca’s lap.
Luca just stared, looking utterly stupefied.
Jack snorted.
Bailey grinned. “Well, there ya go, then. He’s a perfect maitre d’. His initial greeting may need some work.”
I said, “Yes! Perfect, that’s IT!”
Luca looked at me, then Bailey, then Jack. “What? What’s it?”
“I’m giving Max a job at our restaurant.”
“Oh no, you’re not!”
“Oh yes, I am! He’s my dog. I manage our restaurant and I can hire anyone I want.”
“Ma, che sei grullo?” (Are you crazy?) He’s a dog!”
“Yes, he is. And he’s smart. Probably smarter than you, Mr. Bossy Smarty Pants. I’ll train him, you’ll see.”
“The health inspector will shut us down.”
“Ha!” I said. “Between the new dog-friendly restaurants and Nonno’s connections, I don’t think so. Besides, I can always say he’s a service dog. Service dogs are legal.”
“And what kind of service would that be? Biting people in the ass?”
“Of course not. I’ll...I’ll be blind! I’ll just find a white cane and sunglasses. George (our Health Inspector) will never know what hit him.”
“And how exactly did this sudden blindness happen?”
“My glasses fell off when I was watching the eclipse. Seared my retinas.”
Jack made the sign of the cross, shook his head in sadness, and said with sincere gravity, “Poor Sophie and her seared retinas.”
Bailey raised her beer and said, “Aye, it’s perfect!”
Luca sat there outnumbered and sulking. “You’re all crazy.”
Two customers entered and Max trotted up to them, then gently herded them to a booth. “What a sweet dog,” they cooed. Max gave them each a napkin. “Bailey, what a brilliant idea!”
She smiled and waved.
Then a foursome came in and Max did the same with them. Only this time, the hostess handed Max four menus. Max put the menus on the table, looking quite accomplished.
This went on through the entire lunch rush. Max ushered people to and fro, handed out menus and napkins, and accepted praise at every turn. People petted, hugged, cooed, and slipped him treats. He was in his element.
“Busy day,” Jack said, giving Bailey a suspicious look. “Busier than normal, I’d say.”
“Maybe,” Bailey said.
“Bailey, what did you do?” I asked in a whisper.
“Just sent out a few texts. Helping a friend.” She smiled, and I squeezed her hand.
“Thank you.”
“No need. Max is a natural, just look at him. He’s got the whole pub infatuated.”
“You see, Luca? Max will be a hit. Just wait.”
Luca didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t look stubborn anymore either. “We’ll have to see what the family says.”
“Max!” I called, and tossed a piece of my lunch sausage into the air. Max launched from a sitting position like an ICBM. He caught the sausage with such grace and precision that if this were an Olympic sport he'd have just won the gold.
The restaurant clapped. I grinned. Luca caved. Jack sat back with a smile and Bailey laughed out loud.
Jack gave me a happy look. “I’ll load everything you’ll need into your car. Bailey has quite a pile of things for Max in her office.”
“Don’t forget the books,” I said. Knowing I’d need to study up. I glanced at Bailey. “Any last minute advice?”
“Love him, Soph, just love him and you’ll both be fine.”
I smiled, figuring that was probably the best advice I could ask for.
#MaxJustKickedLuca’sAss
#AndThat’sHowMyLifeTookAFurryPlotTwist
#LoveIsAFourLeggedWord
