A dog:
a. eats the same thing (kibble) for dinner every day
b. doesn’t wear any clothes
c. can’t open a door, make a sandwich, or fold a blanket by himself
d. thinks fetch is the most interesting game ever
e. still thinks he knows more than you
I had packed an overnight bag and was walking to Miranda’s house with my pillow under my arm. I was trying to walk quickly so that Winston would get tired and go home, but he had the benefit of four legs so he could walk pretty fast.
“This is a bad idea,” Winston puffed, his tongue hanging out.
“You already said that,” I pointed out. “Like ten times.”
“Why did you tell Katie you were spending the night at your grandma’s?”
I hadn’t meant to tell Katie anything. I figured I wouldn’t have to lie to her about going to Miranda’s if I just didn’t tell her at all. Then Katie called and invited me over to her house to play Monopoly with her parents. I didn’t know what to say. The lie about going to my grandma’s came out of my mouth before I knew what happened.
It used to be that I didn’t have any really good friends, and now I had too many. Being popular was really complicated. Katie was my best friend, but I still wanted to be friends with Miranda.
“I’m supposed to learn as much as I can about humdrums. Miranda is the most popular girl in my class. Going to her slumber party is almost like homework,” I explained to Winston.
Winston raised one of his furry eyebrows. “Uh-huh.”
“Katie would understand if she knew I was a fairy, but I can’t tell her. There really wasn’t anything else I could do.”
“Everyone knows dogs are man’s best friend, which makes me a friend expert. I can tell you this is most definitely NOT something someone does to a best friend.”
“I’ll tell Katie about it someday. Once Miranda and I are friends, I’ll introduce the two of them and we can all hang out together.” I stopped in front of Miranda’s house. Suddenly I felt nervous. The only humdrum I’d ever hung out with was Katie.
“Why do you even want to be friends with Miranda?”
“I don’t know, I just do,” I said.
“‘Never be distracted by a new squeaky is one of my mottos,” Winston said. For a dog, he always was offering advice.
“What does that mean?”
“It means sometimes someone might offer you a shiny new squeaky toy, and it might look better than your old beat up fuzzy hot-dog toy, but that doesn’t mean it is.” Winston cocked his head to the side. “A few bites and the squeaker stops working.”
“Are you comparing my friends to your disgusting chew toy?” My nose wrinkled up. I was always finding Winston’s wet, ragged stuffed hot-dog toy in my bed.
“My stuffed hot dog is not disgusting.” Winston was clearly offended. “All my wisdom is wasted. I thought finally when a person could understand me there would be progress. Now I find out you hear, but you don’t listen.”
“I listen, but I also have to do what I think is best.” I glanced quickly at the house. I hoped that Miranda and her friends weren’t looking out the window watching me talk to my dog. Most people only said sit or stay to their dog. Things were always more complicated with Winston. “I really have to go.”
“Don’t come crying to me when this goes badly.” Winton turned and headed toward home.
I wasn’t going to get mad. I shouldn’t expect a dog to understand how complicated friendships could be. His closest friend was Louise, a cat, and when they fought, they chased each other around the yard until Louise whacked him on the nose with her paw.
Miranda’s mom pointed me down the stairs to the family room. Miranda, Bethany, and Paula were sitting in a circle with a stack of magazines in the middle. When Miranda saw me she squealed and ran over to give me a hug. I unzipped my bag and pulled out the box of cupcakes my mom had promised.
“I was just telling everyone how you’re a wedding expert,” Miranda said. “We’re going to have the best time tonight!”
“Where’s your sleeping bag?” Bethany asked.
I noticed the rest of them all had fancy sleeping bags. Miranda’s was pink with peace signs all over it; Paula’s was covered with rainbows; and Bethany’s had a giant unicorn. Figures she would like unicorns. Unicorns looked pretty, but if you got on their wrong side they would chase you down and poke you with their horn. They tended to be more stuck-up than your average horse.
“I don’t have a sleeping bag. I brought my pillow and a blanket,” I said. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal at home, but now I could tell it was a huge mistake.
Bethany rolled her eyes at Paula. “Whatever. I never met anyone who didn’t have their own sleeping bag.”
There was a moment of silence when no one knew what to say. The sleepover was not getting off to a good start.
“Now that everyone is here, I’ll show you my dress,” Miranda announced.
We squealed and followed her into her room. Her mom yelled that we had to wash our hands before we touched the dress. We sat lined up on Miranda’s bed as she pulled it out of the closet.
After everything Miranda had said about the dress, I expected it to be fancier. It was pink satin, but the style was rather plain. It didn’t have any lace or sparkles on it. There was a bow that tied in the back, but that was it. It seemed to me that the whole point of a wedding was to be as fancy as possible. She really needed to wear sparkly earrings.
“What do you think, Willow?” Miranda asked.
I stepped up as the official wedding expert and circled the dress. I pinched the fabric in my fingers. “The color is nice,” I said. “Nice full skirt, the bow is a good size. This style is traditional.” The beginning of an idea was starting in the back of my mind. I had an idea how I could make the wedding even better.
Bethany snorted. I could tell that she didn’t think I was a wedding expert at all. I would show her.