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Burn from Hamilton was playing a loop in my head. Perhaps I was a glutton for punishment. The logical step to my plummet into self-deprecation was to call my mum. And that’s exactly what I did.
“You know,” she said in greeting,” I really think you should trim your bangs.”
My mum was not a believer in starting a conversation with pleasantries. She just dove right into whatever was on her mind without preamble. That thought must have been brewing for some time. But I wasn’t going there.
“Hello to you also.”
She snorted. “That is a beautiful gown, I’ll give you that.”
“What gown?”
“The gown you wore yesterday.”
“How do you know what I wore yester. . . Never mind.”
My mum was an avid follower of fan pages. If I was seen in public, chances are someone would get a photo. Everyone was paparazzi these days.
“If you would only call me now and then, I wouldn’t have to cyber-stalk you.”
I sighed. “Well, I'm calling you now. How’s Dad?”
“He spends half his time in the garden, half the time bird watching. You know, I don’t remember marrying an old man.”
“I’m pretty sure he wasn’t old when you married him. Besides, fifties are the new forties.”
“He wears cardigan sweaters.”
“Then he’s a hipster.”
That earned me a small laugh. “Speaking of hipster . . . ”
Here we go.
“Have you seen that hot millennial musical everyone is talking about? It won six Tonys. I’m just waiting for it to come to the West End.”
“I know I’ll regret asking, but what are you talking about?”
“Hang on, I’m opening a new tab.”
I could hear her fingernails tap across the screen of her iPad.
“Ah, here it is. Lived Overseen, Playbill dot com says it’s ‘One of the most relevant shows on Broadway, a gut-punching, breathtaking knockout of a musical. Featuring a score by the dynamic duo of modern theatre, Morris Tomlinson and Elton Wardlow, the Kander and Ebb for the twenty-first century.’ Yadda yadda yadda, the credits roll on.”
“Yes, I’m familiar with it. I went to the Tonys with Jax. But why are you talking about it?” I was wondering where she was going with this. When it came to my mother, anything goes.
“So you’ve not seen the production?” she asked.
“No, mum. I haven’t had the time.”
“Hmmm.”
Let me tell you something about my mother. There was never a time she brought something up and didn’t have a reason for it. She would casually leave questions open-ended. I’d take the bait, and she’d reel me in. Hook line and sinker. She would never leave it at ‘hmmm’ without a motive.
Today, however, I was in no humour to entertain mum’s games.
“Well, I’ve got to go, mum,” I said hurriedly. “Give Dad a kiss for me.”
She would not let it go that easily. “I will. And be sure to give that Jaxson fellow a hug and a kiss for me.”
Here it comes.
“Alright,” I replied. “I will.”
“And ask him how he enjoyed the play.”
And there it is.
She was cyber-stalking Jaxson, too. I remained silent. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
At length she broke the silence. “You should have gone with him, Emma. Then you could be telling me all about it right now.”
“You could call him and ask him yourself.” I sneered through gritted teeth.
“Oh no! I would never do that,” she exclaimed. “He’s such a busy man. Of course not too busy to fly to Manhattan to see a Broadway show. Oh! Here’s an Instagram photo of Jaxson with the composers. You definitely should have gone.”
So that was it. Jaxson, who needed to be in Vancouver for filming by Sunday, took a little trip to see Lived Overseen in New York. And of course, my mother knew about it before me because she was following his fan pages. What else did I expect?
“I will ask him to call you when he has free time, mother. Right now I have to get to the Gardiner.”
“The Gardiner? I don’t know why you insist on doing your aunt those little favours. It dims your movie star status.”
“I certainly hope so.” The one thing I didn’t like about my job was fame. Of course, I tolerated it. After all, it was part of the package. But were I very honest, all I cared about was the opportunity to perform. The fame only gave me the freedom to do so without limits.
“And stay off the carbs,” she said, her parting words a warning. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“I’ll do my best,” I lied, then said my goodbyes and hung up feeling more despondent than before.