Hayley heard a moan somewhere. It took a moment to realise it was coming from her own mouth. She tried to blink but was still too close to unconsciousness. She tried to think, instead.
Where was she? And what was that fire in her shoulder?
It was pain unlike nothing she had ever felt before. Was someone really burning her? But who might want to do that? And why?
Hayley tried to move her fingers. One hand seemed fine. The other seemed as though it had been disconnected from her. The attempt at movement sent pain down her arm and back up again and through her shoulder.
And through her shoulder. It was as though everything she had ever felt in her own life, every bit of suffering she had ever known, was concentrated in that one spot. And there, it was being consumed with heat.
What was happening to her? Where was she?
What was that feeling in her shoulder?
Hayley blinked a little, trying once again to force her eyes open.
‘Shh,’ said a male voice beside her.
Ethan?
The events of the past few days came back over her then in a rush. Hayley would have sat bolt upright if the feeling in her shoulder hadn’t started to feel like she was being staked to the bed beneath her.
‘Ethan?’ she said. ‘Is Katy okay?’
She forced her eyes open then and was relieved to see Ethan nod.
‘Yes, she is. And you’re fine too.’
Hayley was fine? What did Ethan mean by that? Of course Hayley was fine. Why on earth wouldn’t she be fine?
She tried to cast her mind back over her most recent memories. There had been a phone call, a helicopter, Katy and Ethan in terrible danger…
A wave of cold dread washed over her as she thought of that and then, her eyes closed once again, the truth came back to her.
She had been shot.
Again.
Her free hand flew up to her shoulder. It was bandaged, padded very thickly.
‘We’re waiting for another helicopter,’ Ethan told her. ‘This time an air ambulance. But the bleeding has stopped. And you’re going to be okay.’
‘Will the ambulance be safe?’ Hayley asked. ‘What about Alvaro Tomasi?’
‘We’ll be safe from now on,’ Ethan told her. ‘The other Tomasis knew he was out of control. They’re glad he’s out of the way.’
‘He’s out of the way?’
‘He’s dead.’
‘How? What happened to him?’
‘I shot him,’ Ethan said, turning away.
***
He had never shot a man before, never been responsible for another man’s death. His army training had included information about how to take arm and fire, but nothing about how you were going to feel afterwards.
He, Ethan MacDonald, had killed a man. Yes, that man had been going to kill him. Had been a danger to Katy for over a year. Had already shot Hayley. But he, Ethan, had taken it one step further than that. There was someone who did not exist in the world tonight who had existed this morning. And it was Ethan’s finger on the trigger that had been responsible.
He shuddered as he thought of it, and tried to force the thought from his mind. And shuddered again. He had taken a life. Had killed someone. Hayley might tell him it was fate. He’d never believed in that word. People were always responsible for their own lives, he thought. And in his life, he had killed someone. He couldn’t think about it now.
Pearl was to be taken away in the same air ambulance as Hayley. Ethan packed up his overnight bag, again, and a similar bag for Katy, and decided to go along for the ride.
Hayley woke up again as the paramedics strapped her into a stretcher and carried her up to the roof. Her eyes sought out his and held them for a long time.
‘I have something I need to tell you,’ she whispered.
He leaned closer. Her breath was warm against his cheek. He found her hand and held it tightly.
‘Yes?’ he whispered.
She smiled.
‘You did what you had to do,’ she told him.
He had killed a man. But what Hayley said was right. Given the circumstances, he had no choice. He had done what he had to do to make sure that his loved ones were safe. And he had done it for Hayley, who Alvaro Tomasi had shot at — twice. He wanted to hear her playing on his mother’s piano, not moaning softly in her sleep, in a hospital bed.
The paramedics had her now, and Pearl, too, who was too weak to walk and who was gazing around them all through eyes at once exhausted and resentful.
‘You’re two days closer to the end of this,’ one of the paramedics said, when Ethan brought him up to date with his sister’s self-imposed detox process.
Pearl didn’t look convinced. But she closed her eyes and didn’t complain as they carried her on board.
***
The bullet that Alvaro Tomasi had fired at her had gone clean through, a doctor told Hayley the next day when she was more awake.
‘You’ve been lucky.’
‘Lucky?’ Hayley seemed to ask the question of her toes at the end of the bed. Then she looked around the room. Although she had gone to sleep in a hospital ward, it was as though she had woken up in a florist’s shop. There were flowers everywhere. Roses and tulips and other bright petals whose names she didn’t even recognise.
Slowly her gaze wandered up to the face of the doctor. She wore a name badge that said her name was Dr Krause.
‘I was shot,’ Hayley reminded her. ‘How can you say that was lucky?’
‘The bullet passed cleanly through. Touched no major organs or bones,’ Dr Krause told her. ‘I’d say that was lucky. And you have more flowers here than I have ever seen in a hospital room. I’d say that was lucky too.’
When she left the room, Ethan walked in. He must have been waiting in the corridor outside.
Hayley smiled at him. How kind and generous he was. But he had been wrong to send her so many flowers.
‘They are from you, aren’t they?’ she asked, realising that she was getting ahead of herself and possibly being presumptuous.
Ethan nodded. ‘You were shot at my villa,’ he said. ‘I will always feel guilty about that.’
‘You don’t need to feel guilty,’ Hayley told him as he came to take a seat beside her bed. ‘I knew what risk I was taking when I ran out onto the roof.’
‘If you hadn’t done that, I would have never seen Katy again,’ Ethan reminded her. ‘Tomasi would have had her, and he would have killed me in front of her.’
Together, they shivered at the possibility.
‘I know I shouldn’t say this,’ Hayley said, ‘but I’m glad he’s dead. You and Katy could never have rested otherwise. And he didn’t give you any choice.’
Ethan smiled. ‘I really don’t think he did,’ he agreed, reaching for the hand on her good arm. ‘But I’m glad you think so too.’
‘Of course I do. You were so brave. What I love about you is that you don’t run. If you face danger, you face it head on.’
Hayley took a deep breath. His hand was warm and comforting but that warmth and comfort didn’t change what she had to say to him. She pulled her own hand out from beneath his. A pang shot through her. It had been the most meaningful relationship of her life and they would never touch again.
‘Ethan,’ she began. ‘Do you realise that when I’m allowed out of here, I’ll be going back home?’
‘What do you mean?’ Ethan asked. The expression on his face was blanched and told her that he already knew what was coming.
‘What we’ve had between us has been absolutely amazing,’ Hayley said. ‘I’ve never known anything like it. But you know how I feel about relationships, Ethan.’
‘I do realise that,’ he said. ‘You know how I feel, too. How I felt.’
‘How you felt?’ A thrill ran through her as she suspected what this might mean, but Hayley was very surprised.
‘Maybe we need to think about this,’ Ethan said. ‘Look, I know how you feel about yourself as a mother —’
‘Do you?’ Hayley demanded. ‘My mother walked out on me. I don’t know anything about mothering. I haven’t ever learned it and I don’t exactly have good genes.’ Her laugh sounded dry and forced, even to her own ears. ‘I just don’t think I can do it.’
‘I think you might be wrong,’ Ethan said. ‘In any case, I’m just asking you to give me, to give us, a try.’
Hayley sucked in her breath, wondering whether she should be angry with him.
‘I’ve seen how you care for Katy,’ Ethan continued. ‘You did everything for her, Hayley. You never let her down, not for a minute. And yesterday, you risked your life for her. No mother could have done more.’
The ground swayed beneath her. Hayley closed her eyes. She was dizzy with that bit of pain that the medication hadn’t quite removed, with the effects of the medication. But all the same, this sensation was of the world moving beneath her, resettling into a slightly different place.
Things weren’t the way she had assumed. She wasn’t the way she had assumed. Because Ethan was right: Hayley had put Katy’s safety ahead of her own. Even though Katy wasn’t her own daughter, Hayley had behaved with all the mothering instinct she had ever read about and ached for.
Perhaps she could be a good mother. Wasn’t it worth seeing if there was a chance they could be together? But…
‘My work is in Australia,’ Hayley said.
‘I’m not asking you to give that up,’ Ethan said. ‘I’m thinking there’s a chance we could have something here.’
Hayley smiled. ‘We certainly have something,’ she agreed, meaningfully.
Ethan looked her over with a glance that appreciated all her curves. ‘There’s a chance we could make this work,’ he said. ‘We could spend part of the year in Italy and you could work here too. Italians love children. You could start photographing children as well as weddings. You’re very talented at that.’
Hayley thought about it for a long moment. She could feel colour creeping into her cheeks. If she decided to live with Ethan, at least she would never need to buy blush.
‘Do you really think we might have a chance?’ she asked Ethan. Her vision was becoming blurry. Dammit. She was crying.
But she never cried.
Everything about her life, about her, was changing.
‘It’s not quite as simple as that,’ Ethan said.
She must have looked alarmed because he smiled and leaned over her with the most delicious kiss she had ever tasted.
‘I want you to go back to your life in Australia. And I want to come with you. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I think we both deserve the chance to give it a shot.’