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Car exhaust and espresso. It smelled so wrong, but for Zane, it was almost perfect. Only one thing was missing. He scanned the cars passing the wooden shack, which was barely big enough for a coffeemaker and a couple of employees. Where’s Riley?
It was April, too early in the year for many people to be occupying the plastic benches surrounding the drive-up coffee shop. He grabbed their drinks from the barista, knowing what kind of coffee she’d want, and picked one of the empty tables to set the cups down on.
He tapped his toes inside his shoes in time with the passing seconds. Why was he so on edge? Aside from the obvious my past haunts my every waking and sleeping moment.
Was he really nervous about seeing Riley again? Okay, so he’d been deployed in the Air Force for the past six years, but they’d kept in touch. Email, hanging out when he was on leave, and chatting online whenever possible.
Oh, and those chats. Heat flooded his veins at the rush of pleasant memories. Chatting was a bit of an understatement. He’d barely been gone for a year when their conversations changed. Got more intimate.
Jesus. The things they’d said to each other, wrapped in excuses like we’re thousands of miles apart and it’s just two friends helping each other out. For the sake of their friendship he hoped those conversations wouldn’t come between them now, but that didn’t stop his fantasies from running rampant with images of stripping her down. Pinning her against the wall. Making her scream with pleasure...
He shook the vivid thoughts aside. The last thing he wanted was for this to cause a gaping rift between them when they were face to face.
His pocket vibrated and he reached for his phone. Was she canceling? He wasn’t sure if that would be a relief or a disappointment. When he saw the messages, he rolled his eyes, his irritation surging. They weren’t from Riley.
Checking in.
How’s civilian life?
I’m in your part of the country. Meet me for coffee?
He glared at the phone. No matter how many times he told Sabrina he wasn’t interested, she kept trying to recruit him.
And now the memories of his deployment were back, along with emotions he’d rather not have. Guilt. Horror. Resignation. The thoughts tightened in his chest and danced in front of his eyes.
“Sexy love letters from your girlfriend?”
Riley’s voice came from behind and jolted him back to the now. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her slender frame pressing into his back when she hugged him. She was almost as tall as he was, but experience told him she had to stand on tip-toe to do that. The familiar scent of cherry lip-gloss mingled with everything else and made it easier to stash his sins behind thoughts of her. Her breasts molded to him and rested against his shoulder blades.
He smiled and concentrated on falling into the sensations of her. “Hey, stranger.”
“Hey, yourself.” Riley settled her forehead against his shoulder. “Am I interrupting?”
It was easy to relax against her, as though with Riley’s touch, the last six years faded. He pocketed his phone. He could tell Sabrina no for the fiftieth time later.
Zane spun to face Riley. “Not interrupting at all,” he said. “I’m here for you.” He couldn’t stop from tracing his gaze over her. Fuck, was he here for her. Her long-sleeved T-shirt hugged round breasts, and her blonde hair framed a pixie-like face and a teasing smile. “How have you been?”
“Not nearly as great as I am right now.” She locked her gaze on his, eyes bright blue and dancing with mischief. “I can’t believe you’re really back. For good. We have so much to catch up on. So much to do.”
His sex-starved imagination seized and taunted him with the concept of what they could be doing. When he pushed aside the mental images of tasting her cherry-flavored lips, they left an empty spot for a new tension to dive in. A pang clattered in his gut, bringing memories of what he’d left behind in the Air Force.
That was one bit of catching up on that could wait until later. Or never. She didn’t need that kind of burden. He swallowed the response, not letting it show on his face. “What have you been up to?”
“This and that.” She turned her attention to the ground, fingers flying to the silver heart resting at the base of her throat. She still had the locked he’d given her in high school. The Friends Forever one.
The realization warmed him. “That’s specific.”
“Is this for me?” She grabbed one of the cups from the table.
“Only if you still like caramel lattes.”
“Only if you need air to breathe.” She kissed him on the cheek, took a long drink, and then dropped onto the bench across from him, fiddling with the paper sleeve on the cup.
Apparently, he wasn’t the only one with secrets. “The last few years have been so good you don’t even want to talk about them?”
She met his gaze. “Wrong.” Her voice was a combination of finality and teasing. “You’re the one who dropped off the radar two years ago. You don’t get to waltz back into town as if you were never gone, and interrogate me about my life without giving me details in return.”
He really wanted to avoid this conversation. But he could redirect if needed. “What do you want to know?”
“Where are you staying?”
He could answer that question. “One of Archer’s spare rooms. He’s letting me have it cheap, until I find work.”
Riley’s expression shifted in an instant, as her furrowed brow melted into wide-eyed realization. “Really? And you’re still wondering what I was up to?”
“Yes.”
She gave a short laugh, but she didn’t sound amused. “I’m kind of surprised he didn’t mention it is all. We... Um... I was staying there for a while too.”
That explained a lot. Riley and Archer, his two best friends, had a perpetual on-again, off-again relationship. “I thought you two were done.” Funny how Archer didn’t mention the on-again part of things when Zane mentioned where he was going this afternoon.
“We are, this time.”
He’d heard that before. He raised an eyebrow.
“This is different from any other time,” she protested. “Now. I answered your question. You answer mine. Give and take, right? Where did you go?”
Technically, nowhere. In truth, everywhere he hadn’t wanted to. “Afghanistan. Iran. North Korea. You already know that.” Her comment back then, when he gave her the basic details of his job, was I always thought Air Force equaled being some hotshot, flying fighter jets. You really get to hone your hacking skills instead? He’d told her it was called intelligence. Someone had to keep those hotshots safe in the air.
He should have stuck to doing exactly that. Guilt tried to worm its way back in, and he scrubbed it out. This gnawing shadow was going to be status quo for a while, wasn’t it?
She clucked. “All of that happened before you dropped off the radar. Where have you been for the last two years?”
“How’s the drawing coming?” He snatched the first topic he could think of. Riley was a brilliant artist. She kept saying she wanted to go pro. Step up and teach at the community college at least. Maybe try to publish one of her graphic novels.
While he was deployed, he’d happily sent her photos for reference shots—of him, of his Air Force buddies, all of it. Anything to help her with her passion.
“It’s good. Now that you’re back, you and your truck can model for me in person.” She twirled her cup on the table. Her expression said she wasn’t buying any of his attempts to change the subject. But she was letting him do it anyway.
“You drew my truck into your story?” It was an older model BMW 1602 he and Granddad converted into a truck when he was a teenager.
A hint of a smile crept back in. “It’s got character. I love your truck. Your granddad let me take pictures whenever he pulled it out of storage for maintenance.”
That made sense. Granddad adored Riley.
Silence fell between them. Their conversations had never been stilted, so why did the silence feel wrong, now? Because he was keeping secrets, and so was she. Why did she have to hook up with Archer? Again.
Not that Zane deserved a say in who Riley dated... And they never made him take sides, but it still made things awkward. “What else have you been up to?” he asked.
She clenched her jaw for the briefest of moments before her playful smirk returned. “There’s not a lot to tell. Kenzie landed herself a sexy rich guy—you got a wedding announcement, right?—so I took over her condo payments. I’m thinking about buying it.”
Which sounded fantastic, except for one teensy, tiny thing. “You hate living alone.”
“I’m a big girl now. I can handle the scary noises. Speaking of...” She fiddled with her keys for a moment, before she finally pulled one from the ring. She leaned over the table and dropped the single key into his shirt pocket. “You’re always welcome to stop by. It might be more comfortable hanging out at my place.”
His cock stirred, and a desire seared over him when she glided her hands over his chest, and the way she bent at the waist gave him a fantastic view down the front of her shirt. Oh, so many shared fantasies.
She dropped back into her seat, toying with her hair, her gaze flitting everywhere. That felt out of place. It was like a dim image of what he remembered, but someone had missed something in the forgery. Her subtle discomfort didn’t sit well with him. “Aren’t you and Archer talking?”
Most couples that broke up tended to not speak, but Riley and Archer were different. They always made up when they weren’t involved.
She turned her attention back to her drink. “We’re working on it. It’s still awkward, but friendship first. Right?”
“Always.” Zane wouldn’t overthink her question. Wouldn’t wonder if she was talking about Archer, or about what she and Zane got up to.
*
THIS WAS WHY RILEY never wanted to date Zane. She couldn’t handle their friendship fracturing the way hers had with Archer. No one knew her better than Zane. She was so glad to have him back, she wasn’t giving him up again.
Except this wasn’t the Zane she hung out with years ago. The difference wasn’t distinct, but he seemed more formal around her. Less at ease. And instinct told her it wasn’t only because of the Archer mistake.
Please don’t let it be the cybersex. The last thing she needed was to drive away her best friend because their online conversation got a little—or a lot—intense. Maybe once they got comfortable with each other again, it wouldn’t be a big deal.
She and Zane had flirted since before they were old enough to realize they were doing it, and once upon a time, she thought he’d be her Prince Charming. She figured out years ago their relationship didn’t work that way. He was the one man she felt comfortable saying that about. She could tease him all she wanted, and he gave as good as he got, but it didn’t mean anything romantic.
“Does this whole friendship first thing mean I’ve lost my chance?” Zane stuck out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout, teasing dancing in his pale eyes.
As if. She laughed and shook her head. “Even if you didn’t mean too much to me to just be some random hookup, I’m trying to change. I’m done falling for every guy who smiles at me.”
“So, what? You’re never dating again? Things might get a little lonely in the bedroom... You sure you can hold out?” Of course he had to go there.
Not that she minded the playful banter. This was so much better than sidestepping conversational landmines. “I’ve got a good vibrator. I’ve also got a lot better grasp on my desires than you and your so-called celibacy. We both know how not true that is.”
His tiny smirk defied his attempt to look innocent. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t been with anyone since— Well, you know.”
And... moment ruined. He meant Sabrina, the Air Force girlfriend. She still didn’t know why he thought sleeping with a superior officer was a good idea. Riley studied him—the sturdy set of his jaw, the scruff of probably two days’ worth of beard. God, he was sexy. “I didn’t mean physically.”
“Ah. Right.” The corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-grin.
Riley was referring to all the times one of them had been lonely or horny, and their conversations became more than casual banter. “I’m guessing it’s easier to hold out when you’ve got someone on call who you can talk dirty to.”
“If you’re saying that to cite my lack of willpower, I wasn’t always the one asking.”
“Whatever. Now that you’re back, the tail is going to be throwing itself at you. You won’t need me anymore.” It was supposed to be a teasing comment. Tossed out without meaning. But the words tasted sour in the back of Riley’s throat.
“I will always and forever need you.”
His reassurance burrowed deeper than she expected, reassuring and soothing nerves she hadn’t realized was exposed. “Me too. I mean—“
“I know what you mean.”
Of course he did. That was part of who they were. And now they could get back to normal. No worries.