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They won, but it didn’t look like it. Moxie half sat half laid on Rada. They were on the couch in the living room with Rose and Lael in one corner. Asa was in another. Silas was in a chair with Leif on his lap. Malik was sitting with Ellie in his lap on the floor in front of the couch. They all looked rung out.
“We won,” Moxie said, trying to cheer everyone up.
“Did we?” Rose looked at her. She knew about Moxie’s son, they all did. That he wasn’t there with them brought them even lower.
“We did. My son is not here.” She might as well acknowledge the elephant in the room. “That doesn’t mean he’s dead.” Okay, if she was honest, she believed that Botis killed him. There was a chance, slim as it may be, that he was telling the truth at the end but come on, he was a demon. He wouldn’t know the truth if it killed him.
“The thought of him being dead is a hard pill to swallow, almost as hard as it was to acknowledge that he was alive, and I didn’t know. Two demons were out to destroy us that will never bother us again. That’s worth celebrating.”
“If your son is dead?” Ellie’s voice was soft.
“He’ll continue to live like he has the last eight years, in my heart.” She wiped at her eyes then snuggled into Rada to cry without the others seeing the tears flow.
“Moxie’s Right,” Rose said, standing. She pulled Lael up behind her. “We celebrate our victories and mourn our losses. Then we shore ourselves up to fight another day. We’ll leave you alone.” They walked out of the room, followed by the others, until Moxie and Rada were alone.
Rada sat her up, drying the silent tears on her cheeks. “Come with me.” He took her hand and led her out of the house.
They walked behind the house and then passed the field where she practiced until they came to a small stream. It was wide enough that you would have to swim to get to the other side, the middle section being too deep to cross walking.
He stretched out both hands. They were empty as she watched four flat stones appeared in each.
“In this hand are mourning stones. In this hand,” he held out the other “are stones of joy. When someone you love is gone, you mourn for them by skipping the rock across the water to find the perfect burial spot. Then you rejoice in their lives. These stones will also be skipped across the water, but they will forever tell the story of one who brought you joy.”
She reached out and took two of the mourning stones.
Rada held the first stone close to his heart. “I mourn for the boy who will never know he was my son.” He skipped the stone across the lake while Moxie did her best not to break.
She cradled the stone against her chest the way she longed to do when he was a baby. “I mourn for the glimpse of vitality I will always remember in my son.” She skipped the stone across the lake, watching as it disappeared into the water.
“I mourn that I will never get to see my son grow up to be like his mother.” He skipped his last mourning stone into the lake.
“I mourn the lost years. I pray that my pain will never be another’s.” She skipped the last stone across the lake. When it sank out of sight, she fell to her knees and sobbed for her child, who was gone. Rada knelt beside her while she cried her pain out.
When the sun began to go down, they stood up both with two stones of joy in their hands.
“I rejoice in the joy on my mate's face as she told me about the few minutes she got to hold our son.” He skipped the stone watching as it sang across the lake.
“I rejoice in the sweet feel of my newborn's soft skin and his sweet scent. I rejoice in the plans I started to make the minute I was able to see him with my own eyes.” That remembered smile crossed her lips as she skipped her stone. It was wonderous that it seemed so much lighter than the others.
“I rejoice in knowing that if he is still out there, I will find him.” Rada skipped his last stone.
Moxie closed her eyes, not wanting to hope for tomorrow but understanding more than ever that all there was was hope for tomorrow.
“I rejoice in the family that one day we will be.” She skipped her last stone, hoping that it would land with Rada’s telling the world to watch out she was coming for what was hers.
“Thank you. Have you done this before?” It wasn’t a magical cure. Her heart still hurt, and her body felt like she’d been run over by a tank but mourning and rejoicing her son's life with him helped. She could consider the good and the bad tomorrow. Then there was the fight to come. They still had the cave demon, and she was still marked by some unknown force.
“We did this when we lost my older brother. It didn’t stop the pain, but it helped. There was no body, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t honor him.”
She took his hand, fingers entangling as they took the long walk back to the house. When they got there, everyone was in the kitchen talking and trying to laugh. Bullet ran up to her demanding to be picked up.
“You guys gonna cook or stare at me? Because you know, I’m starving.”
There was laughter all around. She leaned over and kissed Rada. Tomorrow was soon enough to figure out what today meant. For now, she wanted to enjoy the new family she never thought she’d get.