Ivan draped his coat and suit jacket over the back of the dining-area chair before he folded his tall frame down onto the tufted yellow sofa in Nayo’s living room. There were advantages and disadvantages to living in a studio apartment, and watching Nayo undress was definitely an advantage.
He stared, unable to move or speak as she unzipped her dress and stepped out of it. The flesh between his legs stirred to life. Ivan felt like a voyeur when he couldn’t pull his gaze away from her half-nude body. Erotic fantasies came to life when he stared at her legs encased in sheer navy nylons attached to a lacy garter belt and her tiny feet in the matching stilettos. Her firm breasts swayed gently when she bent down to slip off her heels.
Ivan swallowed a groan as he tried not to squirm on the sofa. Watching Nayo undress was akin to watching burlesque, where the dancer teased and tantalized. He must have groaned again, because she turned to look at him.
“Are you all right?”
“No.”
Nayo set aside her shoes. “What’s the matter?”
He closed his eyes. “I’m in pain, baby.”
Nayo rushed over to the sofa, her heart beating double-time. Ivan had clutched his chest. “Oh, no!” she cried. Was he having a heart attack? “Ivan! Ivan, talk to me.”
Ivan heard the panic in her voice and opened his eyes. “Yes, doll face.”
“Where’s the pain?”
His hand moved lower, resting over his belt buckle. “It’s here.”
Scrambling onto the sofa, she placed her hand over his. “Show me where it is.”
“It’s moving around.”
“Where!” Nayo was practically screaming.
“Take off my belt.” It was becoming more difficult for Ivan to keep up the ruse, because he couldn’t control his growing erection.
Nayo hadn’t realized her hands were shaking uncontrollably until she attempted to undo the button on his waistband. She unzipped the fly and slipped her hand through the opening. She couldn’t remember if the appendix was on the right or the left. Where was Tamara when she needed her?
“Show me where it hurts, darling.”
Ivan took her hand and guided it to his penis. It took her several seconds to realize he’d played a trick on her. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said when she narrowed her eyes at him.
“You’re sorry, Ivan Campbell! I thought you were having a heart attack.”
He pointed to his chest. “I didn’t say the pain was here.”
“Oh, no?”
She drew back her fist to hit him, but Ivan’s reflexes were too fast. Holding her wrist in a firm grip, he eased her onto her back, covering her mouth with his and stopping her protests.
“Don’t fight me, baby,” he said against her parted lips.
“Why not? What you just did is cruel, Ivan.”
He smiled. “You think so,” he whispered.
Nayo stopped struggling, because she knew she was no match for his superior strength. He released her wrist. “Yes.”
Ivan gazed at the face of the woman he loved beyond description. “I am in pain, Nayo, because I love you.” He ignored her gasp. “You came into my life at the time of the year when, if I had the power, I’d blot it off the calendar. Whenever the days grow shorter, the color of the leaves change and fall to the ground, I feel as if I’m dying.”
Going to her knees, Nayo wrapped her arms around Ivan’s head and pressed his face to her naked breasts. “You’re alive, darling.”
“I am when I’m with you.”
She rested her chin on the top of his head. “You’re alive when we’re not together, too. Even when we’re apart I still can feel you, smell you and fantasize about making love with you.”
“You don’t understand. You can’t understand.”
Nayo pulled back, cradling Ivan’s face between her hands. With wide eyes, she saw the pain in his. “Come to bed.”
“I need to tell you something.”
“Tell me in bed.”
She moved off the sofa and he got up with her. Hand in hand, they walked to the bed. Nayo took over. She undressed Ivan, covering his magnificent naked body with a sheet and lightweight blanket. She finished undressing herself, turned off the lamp and got in to straddle his body.
“Talk to me, darling.”
She listened, her heart keeping tempo with his as Ivan talked about being an identical twin. “Although Jared and I looked exactly alike, we were nothing alike. He was outgoing and made friends easily, while I was content to hang out with Kyle and DG. Jared met a girl who lived in East Harlem and he used to sneak out to meet her.”
“How old was he?”
“Thirteen. My father warned him about leaving the neighborhood, but Jared’s hormones were raging. I didn’t find out until much later that the girl wasn’t thirteen, as he told me, but seventeen.”
Nayo closed her eyes, knowing what Ivan was going to say. “Were they sleeping together?”
“Yeah. One night he came home with a busted lip, and when I asked him what happened, he claimed he tripped and fell. But I knew differently, Nayo. When you’re a twin you feel things a person who’s single birth can’t feel. Whenever Jared disappeared I knew he was sneaking off to see that girl. I tried to tell him she’s was just using him, but he didn’t believe it. He said I would change my opinion once I met her.
“It was a rainy Saturday in October when Jared told me that he’d made arrangements for me to meet his girlfriend. We walked to a housing project on the east side, sat down on a bench and waited. Jared stood up when a girl came out of one of the buildings, and we followed her to the corner. I supposed she and Jared had some sort of ritual, that he wouldn’t say anything to her until they were a certain distance away from the housing project. She crossed the street, but instead of following, Jared waited for another light to change.
“While we were standing there a car pulled up and someone sitting in the passenger-side seat pointed a gun at us. He got off two rounds, hitting Jared in the chest, before they sped off. I sat on the sidewalk in the rain watching my brother die in my arms. When the police and ambulance arrived his face was covered with leaves from an overhead tree.
“I spent years blaming myself for my brother’s death, because instead of going with him to meet some girl who was on some power trip because she could lead a thirteen-year-old boy around by his gonads, I should’ve told my parents what he was doing and where he was going.”
“You tried to warn him, Ivan, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“I didn’t do enough, Nayo.”
“I know it doesn’t minimize the loss and pain, but that day your parents could’ve lost two sons, instead of one. Didn’t you say you and Jared were identical?”
“Yeah, but we never dressed alike. When they pulled up they knew which twin to shoot.”
“Do you think the girl set up your brother to be shot?”
“I don’t know. I’ll never know because I didn’t get a good look at her face. And when the police went around the projects asking questions, everyone became deaf, blind and mute. They knew nothing. They saw nothing. They heard nothing. It took my mother a long time to accept losing a child. My looking exactly like Jared didn’t make it any easier.”
“Is losing your brother the reason why you fear commitment? You’re afraid of loving and losing?”
“Yes.”
“Are you afraid of losing me, Ivan?”
“I don’t know.”
“You said you love me. Well, I love you, too, Ivan, and I’m not afraid of losing you.”
He smiled. “You’re a lot more confident than I am, because you know I’m not going anywhere.”
“Neither am I.”
“Prove it to me, baby.”
Nayo shifted into a more comfortable position, her legs sandwiched between his hair-roughened ones. “What do you want me to do?”
“Marry me, Nayo Goddard.”
The seconds ticked off as Nayo recalled her conversation with Tamara earlier that evening. She thought about Duncan losing his fiancée and Ivan cradling his dead brother in his arms.
“I marry you, Ivan Campbell, and what?”
“What do you mean, what?”
“What do I do?”
“You move in with me. And if you want I’ll turn the top floor into a gallery for you. I suppose that means I’ll have to put in an elevator, but it will be worth it when people from the art world come to see my wife’s brilliant photographs. Working from home will give you all the time you need to balance your career and motherhood.”
Her head came up. “You want children?”
Ivan smiled. “As many as you’re willing to give me. Will you marry me, Nayo?”
“I think so.”
“Is that a yes or a no?”
“It’s a yes.”
Everything was happening so quickly that Nayo couldn’t sort it out. Ivan didn’t give her a chance to catch her breath when he reversed their positions and eased his sex into her body. Feeling his hardness inside her without the layer of latex stole the breath from her lungs. Within minutes the first spasm of pleasure ripped through her.
She was on fire!
Her breath was coming in deep sobs, escalating with each strong thrust of Ivan’s hips. Tamara had mentioned men blurting out things in the throes of passion, but it was she who urged Ivan on.
“Harder, baby. Deeper! That’s it,” she chanted over and over until it became a litany.
Ivan knew this coming together was different, not only because it was the first time since he’d become sexually active that he hadn’t used protection, but because he knew the woman writhing under him would be the last woman in his life.
Nayo’s attempt to prolong climaxing proved futile. She loved him, loved him more than any man she’d ever known. She’d fought Ivan and fought her feelings, but realized that in the greater scheme of things, life was short, tomorrow wasn’t promised, and she was going to seize the happiness offered her. The spasms became stronger and stronger until the dam broke, and she sobbed Ivan’s name as she was hurtled beyond reality.
Ivan felt the heat of Nayo’s breath, the sound of her calling his name in his ear as he released his passion inside her warm, moist body, chanting, “I love you, I love you,” the admission torn from his throat and heart. At last he collapsed, sated, on her moist body.
“Ivan.”
“Yes, doll face.”
“I don’t think we should wait too long to set a wedding date.”
“Why?”
Nayo smiled when she fantasized her body swollen with Ivan’s child. “You picked the wrong time of the month to make love to me without protection.”
Ivan nuzzled her neck. “No, I didn’t. It just means we have to set an early wedding date.”
“How early?”
“How’s Beaver Run during Christmas?”
“Cold and very festive.”
Ivan cradled Nayo to his body as he reversed their positions. “Call and tell your mother to expect her future son-in-law this coming weekend. I know we’re not giving her much time, but I’m willing to pay Tessa whatever she wants to make you a Signature bride.”
Nayo curved her body into Ivan’s. She’d known there was something special about Ivan when he walked into Magnus Galleries to view her exhibition. What she hadn’t known at the time was that he would become her lover, husband and hopefully the father of her children.