by Tess Whitehurst
My mom always used to say that “words have usage, not meaning.” In other words, language is not static, but alive and fluid. Words and their connotations are always in flux. So while, technically, “mojo” is, according to Judika Illes in The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, “A talisman that enables someone, male or female, to achieve their goals and desires, whatever they may be,” it has come to be used in our mainstream culture to mean (according to the New Oxford American Dictionary) general “magical power,” or (according to Austin Powers and his ilk) sexual prowess and charisma. In many ways, it’s similar to the way the word “charm” can be used to connote either an actual physical object or general attractiveness and the ability to influence people.
I like this newfangled usage of the word mojo because it describes something real. We all know if our mojo is flowing, we feel like we can achieve our goals and desires. Often this feeling of general confidence and empowerment is paired with a feeling of sexual magnetism and potency—and that’s mojo! For most or all of us, it fluctuates: sometimes we’ve got it and sometimes we don’t. When we’ve got it, it’s great. Life is fun and the things we desire flow to us almost effortlessly. And when we haven’t got it, or we’ve got a little less of it, a good portion of our everyday thoughts and efforts revolve around finding it and getting it back.
So, for all our sakes, I thought it’d be useful to outline some tried-and-true methods for locating and regaining our mojo, just in case it happens to stray.
Recover Stolen Mojo
Our magical power—our magnetism, or that which allows us to intentionally draw people, items, and conditions into our life experience—is very closely aligned with our sexuality. As Pagans, this often isn’t as much of a challenge as it is for people on some mainstream spiritual paths, but the fact remains that our culture is weird about sex. For example, our culture teaches us to compartmentalize. We get messages like this is sexual, that is not. In this instance, you should be aware of your sexual feelings, and in this one you absolutely should not—and if you don’t think so, there is something wrong with you! And often, our culture also weirdly teaches us that only very narrowly prescribed sexual desires are normal and that all other sexual desires are, you name it: deviant, dirty, shameful, dangerous, evil, or any number of demeaning and disparaging things.
Believe it or not, according to authors and sex educators Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt, Nazi psychologist Wilhelm Reich “theorized that the suppression of sexuality was essential to an authoritarian government. Without the imposition of antisexual morality … people would be free from shame and would trust their own sense of right and wrong. They would be unlikely to march to war … or to operate death camps.” Aha! By convincing people that their natural instincts were evil, Wilhelm Reich was knowingly and almost literally stealing their mojo—and channeling it toward unthinkable atrocities. He knew that our sexuality is so closely aligned with our personal power that to alienate a whole society from their sexuality was to successfully enslave them into carrying out the Nazi’s malevolent agenda.
With all that in mind, it’s important to recognize that our culture has been so steeped in sexual humiliation for so long that we must be vigilant in rooting out hidden caches of power that may be hidden in our consciousness under layers of shame—and the subsequent push to establish new paradigms of sexual liberation and personal freedom. Even if we’ve worked on this issue before, it can be a good idea to revisit it again and again.
One way to do this is a belief clearing. In a journal or notebook, write down every limiting or negative belief you have about your own sexuality. Even if it’s a thought you didn’t previously think you had—something that you attributed perhaps to a parent or authority figure—if you currently notice it in your consciousness as coloring your thoughts, feelings, and decisions, write it down. For example, “Sex is dirty, one-night stands are bad, it’s creepy that _____ turns me on.” A good indicator that an aspect of your sexuality feels shameful to you is if you treat it as a closely guarded secret that no one—not even your closest friends and lovers—can find out.
Of course the truth is, as long as you’re as safe as possible, everyone involved is an adult, you’re honest with everyone, and you’re not hurting anyone (against their will!), there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your sexual desires and actions. So turn all these limiting beliefs around. Make a new list, and instead of “sex is dirty,” write, “sex is a sacred expression of my divinity,” or, “sex is a playful way to connect and express love.” Instead of “one-night stands are bad,” write, “as long as I’m as safe as possible, I honor myself, and I’m honest with everyone, a one-night stand could potentially be a beautiful experience,” and so on.
Stay “Turned On”
Now that you’ve begun to recover any stolen mojo, you’ll want to make a point of staying “turned on.” As mentioned earlier, sexual energy is not confined to romance and the bedroom, it sprawls luxuriously throughout every aspect of your life. In other words, contrary to what many of us are fed from the time we are children, the fullness of our life experience always includes our sexual awareness. Whether we’re enjoying sunlight, music, new ideas and information, poetry, the scent of baking cookies, a sunset, or hot buttered toast, our enjoyment will be more intense if we experience it the same way we do sex and attraction: with our whole body and all our senses.
Not to mention, of course, that the more sensual (i.e., connected to our senses) we are, the more magical we are. In many ways, our sixth sense might be thought of as a conscious, alert combination of all five senses, and sensuality grounds us in the cornerstone of our power: the Earth. Naturally, all of this increases our mojo, as does the fact that the more “turned on” (or inspired, awake, excited about life, present, in the moment) we are, the more attractive we are to others, and the more we naturally magnetize the life conditions we desire … And what does this sound like? That’s right: mojo.
Here are just a few ideas for staying “turned on,” not just in the traditional sexual sense, but also in a holistic way:
• Whenever you remember throughout the day, become conscious of your physicality. Relax any part of your body that is tense. Let your shoulders drop, and feel your belly unclench.
• If you feel bored or uninspired, do something slightly out of character to spice things up: bake a new dish for dinner, wear something unusual, dance to a new type of music, etc.
• Read erotica or watch pornography to awaken your sexual and sensual self.
• Have an honest conversation with a partner about what really turns you on.
• Eat chocolate—slowly! Don’t crunch it. Let it melt in your mouth.
• Light candles and take a warm bath.
• Make a “mojo playlist”—choose songs that get you in touch with yours sensual, adventurous, confident self.
• Take little day trips that satisfy your creative self. Go to a botanical garden, a museum, or a farmers’ market and bliss out on all the visual and other sensory treats.
Enjoy Your Movement
This is so simple, yet so effective. Author and feminine-power expert Rachael Jayne Groover writes, “Next time you want to turn your magnetic presence on, ask yourself, ‘How can I enjoy my movement right now?’” You have to walk anyway, so why not enjoy it? My favorite moments on the dance floor have been about surrendering to the music and allowing my body move the way it wants to. Similarly, walking to walk (or standing to stand, etc.) is about surrendering to the sensual experience of the moment and of your surroundings. It’s a way of opening yourself up to the magical power that flows within you and letting it flow in an enjoyable and physically pleasurable way. Talk about getting your mojo back! Conscious, enjoyable movement can help you do it instantly—and you can even do it at the grocery store. Remember to enjoy the caress of your hair on your back, your hips as they sway, your feet as they kiss the earth, the fabric on your skin, and the breeze on your neck.
Breathe Consciously
Talk about simple! This one is so simple it’s almost boring. But don’t be fooled, and don’t gloss over it! Believe me, the benefits are immense, and intensified mojo is not the least of them. Here it is: breathe consciously. Notice your breath as it goes in and out. If you forget—and you will—and then you remember again, simply resume the practice. You don’t have to force your breath to deepen, just notice it. Notice as it goes in, and notice as it goes out, and it will begin to deepen on its own. In time, you will find yourself breathing into your whole body—from the top of your head to the tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes. Where there is tension, you will breathe into it and it will begin to dissipate. Over time, your body will become deeply relaxed and receptive, your mind will be alert, your senses will be awake, and your mojo will be flowing.
Whenever I feel stagnant and uninspired, I am almost invariably neglecting to breathe this way. Once I begin again, and keep at it long enough that it turns into the norm rather than the exception, something as seemingly inane as washing the dishes can become euphoric. I revel in the scent of the dish soap, the sunlight on the water, and the warm wetness running over my hands. This goes one better than magnetizing beautiful conditions—it allows you to instantly revel in the abundance and luxury that’s already present in every moment of your life. And like attracts like, so the more you appreciate, the more you receive. You get into a positive life momentum, and manifesting your “goals and desires, whatever they may be,” becomes a way of life and a matter of course.
Take Care of Yourself
Are you treating your body like the temple that it is? Your body is your own personal doorway between the worlds: the place where form meets spirit. Simply taking the time to bathe, moisturize, and adorn your body lovingly helps nurture your sensuality, magnetism, and personal power (aka mojo). So be sure that your skin and hair are happy, and that you love the way you smell. Scents that particularly nurture mojo will be ones that awaken your own feelings of sensual pleasure and sexual attraction. These may be different for everyone, but some popular mojo-enhancing essential oils include:
Jasmine, patchouli, ylang-ylang, cedar, vanilla, cinnamon/cassia (be very careful and use sparingly, as this oil is irritating), rose, rose geranium, verbena, and neroli.
Fashion Magic
Finally, be sure that your clothing and accessory choices are nourishing your confidence, playfulness, attractiveness, and personal power. Fortify your mojo-recovering efforts by taking the time to choose fabrics, colors, and patterns that feel good on your body and help you feel radiant when you look in the mirror and go out into the world.
For Further Study:
Deida, David. Intimate Communion. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, 1995.
Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy. The Ethical Slut, 2nd Ed. Berkeley: Celestial Arts, 2009.
Groover, Rachael Jayne. Powerful and Feminine. Fort Collins: Deep Pacific Press, 2011.
Illes, Judika. The Element Encylopedia of Witchcraft. London: Harper Element, 2005.