11

Geraldine was worried. It was rare for her personal life to distract her from her work, but she could not ignore the fact that something had gone wrong between her and Ian. Having been friends for many years and, as it turned out, both been secretly in love with each other for a long time, she had been confident they would prove compatible when they finally embarked on a relationship. For the past month they had lived together in harmonious companionship which she had believed was a deep and genuine love. She had almost been ready to invite him to move in with her, and disclose their relationship to all their colleagues. Now it seemed that their honeymoon period had been no more than a short-lived fantasy. Ian had abruptly stopped visiting her at home, and was virtually ignoring her at work. If she had not known him well, she might have suspected he was annoyed with her for hesitating to agree to his moving in with her. But their friendship was too well established for such games. If he was angry with her, he would have discussed his feelings, not avoided her in order to get back at her. She knew he would not abandon her lightly. Something was amiss.

On Saturday afternoon he had rushed away from the police station, muttering to Geraldine that he had to attend to some business and might be gone all night. She did not hear from him again that day. They had arranged to go out for Sunday lunch, so the following day she arrived at the pub, hoping to find him in better spirits. He wasn’t there. She waited for nearly an hour but he neither joined her nor answered her calls. She had been stood up by the man who had recently started spending the night at her apartment, but she knew Ian too well to believe he would ever willingly let her down. Undecided whether to be angry or apprehensive, she studied the menu, and ate on her own. She should have been used to her own company but, after just a few weeks living with Ian, the thought of returning to her independent lifestyle made her nervous. She hadn’t expected to lose Ian. Not yet, and not so suddenly. Not ever, if she was honest. She had not understood how lonely she was, until she had stopped being lonely. Now the prospect of living without Ian troubled her, like a physical ache.

Ian didn’t contact her on Sunday afternoon, nor did he come to her flat that evening. She waited up until late, and was growing really worried by the time he finally returned her call.

‘Ian, it’s nearly midnight. Where are you? What’s happened?’

‘I can’t explain right now. I only called because I don’t want you to worry. Everything’s fine.’

‘How can you say everything’s fine when you’ve gone off without a word, leaving me to –’

‘I’ll explain as soon as I can.’

‘Ian, what’s going on?’

‘It’s complicated.’

‘Ian, talk to me. I need to know you’re all right.’

‘It’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry.’

Before she could reply, he rang off. Clearly everything was far from fine, but she still had no idea what had happened. Helpless and miserable, she resisted the temptation to phone him back to demand an explanation. Instead, she went to bed and spent a restless night worrying about what might have happened to prompt this unexpected breakdown in their relationship, so serious that he wouldn’t even talk to her, when she had been confident that everything was going well between them. She could hardly believe she had been so wrong about him. She could not help recalling how she had felt there was something odd about Jason concealing his movements from Jessica. Geraldine had interpreted that as a sign of an unhealthy relationship. The suspicion that Ian was behaving in exactly the same way filled her with apprehension.

On Monday morning she arrived at work early hoping to speak to Ian on his own, but he wasn’t in his office. Eileen called a briefing and there was no opportunity to speak to him before the team gathered. When she saw him in the incident room, she was dismayed by how tired he looked. His face seemed more lined than she remembered it, and his eyes were slightly bloodshot. Once or twice she caught him looking at her without seeming to register who she was. His shirt collar was askew, and he was unshaven. Normally he was very careful with his appearance, and she suspected he had been drinking. With a horrible pang, it occurred to her that she might somehow be the cause of his wretchedness. Finally she managed to catch his eye, and a faint smile of recognition flickered across his face, as though he had only just noticed her and was relieved to see her.

Ariadne had been in charge of a team of constables looking for Jason. Her report was frustrating. Having booked the time off work, Jason had simply disappeared. It could be no coincidence that he had gone missing at the same time as the baby had vanished. The mood at the police station was generally slightly less sombre than it had been, as it seemed the baby must be with her father. But there remained the issue of the bloodstains in the cot, and not everyone was confident the baby was still alive.

Geraldine had no chance to speak to Ian before the briefing began but, as they were leaving the room, she caught up with him and asked to speak to him.

‘Yes, I need to speak to you,’ he replied, without meeting her eye.

‘Ian, what is it? What’s wrong?’ she demanded in a low voice, aware that they might be overheard in the corridor.

‘Not here,’ he muttered. ‘We can’t talk here.’

‘Let’s go to your office then.’

He shook his head. ‘No, we can’t talk now. It’s too complicated. It’ll take too long.’

‘Ian, what is it? What have I done to upset you?’

‘You?’ He turned to face her at last, looking surprised. ‘You haven’t done anything. Nothing at all. Please, don’t think this is anything to do with you.’

‘Of course it’s to do with me if you’re refusing to see me,’ she hissed furiously. ‘Tell me what’s wrong.’

‘Can’t you guess?’

‘I have absolutely no idea what’s going on,’ she replied. ‘And I’m not playing stupid guessing games. It’s time for you to be honest with me. This isn’t doing either of us any good. Please, just tell me what the problem is. I’m a grown woman. I can take it.’

Ian sighed. ‘OK,’ he said, ‘I’ll come to the flat this evening and we can talk there.’

He turned and strode away. With difficulty Geraldine quelled an impulse to run after him like a love-struck teenager. She was desperate to grab hold of him and force him to explain himself; only his devastated expression held her back. If he was making her unhappy, there was no doubt he was feeling at least as miserable as she was. In addition to pity, pride kept her from following him. She guessed that the problem had something to do with his divorce but, whatever had gone wrong in his life, she had a right to know. The more she thought about the situation, the more furious she became with him for refusing her the chance to show him that he could rely on her support whatever happened. He was being unfair to her in every way possible, but there was nothing she could do about it. She could not force him to share the truth with her, and she was definitely not about to make a scene at work. She would have to let him speak to her in his own time. Meanwhile, she went back to her desk, fearing the worst.

With a sigh, she tried to settle down to her morning’s work, but the memory of Ian’s pale, tired face haunted her. Wherever she looked, his weary eyes seemed to stare at her, alternately taunting her and pleading with her. At last she could bear it no longer and went to his office to confront him. He wasn’t there. She tried his phone but he declined to answer her call. She had no choice but to wait as patiently as she could until he came to see her that evening. She refused to consider the possibility that he might not turn up after he had said he would. But she was beginning to wonder if she had been a fool to believe that she had ever really known him at all.