In the spring of 2002, Rick participated with a group of men in the Walk to Emmaus, a weekend retreat adapted, in the seventies, by the Methodist Church from an older Catholic program. This three-day spiritual renewal program was designed to develop servant-leaders who would then strengthen their local church.
As part of the experience, participants are supposed to bring along letters from others extolling their virtues. Rick asked Sue to write a letter praising his role as a father. She refused. Rick was stunned and wounded.
Some said that Rick was very sincere in these acts of spiritual immersion and transformation. Others believed he was just polishing his image to enhance the possibility that he would get custody of his sons if Sue carried through on her threats of divorce.
Sue and Julie Speer had met at a school that both their children attended, and had known each other for about two years. The two women had a chance encounter at the Houston Hobby Airport in June 2002. Julie thought Sue looked very stressed.
Sue talked to Julie about wanting to redo her master bedroom and then complained about the bathroom. “Rick got upset about the colors. He wanted to use gray. But I am the only one that uses the master bedroom.”
That was the first indication Julie had that things were not going well in the McFarland household.
In June, Sue and Rick traveled to Cozumel with Bill and Molly Matthews. Over the long weekend, the couple snorkeled, relaxed and dined together nightly. Instead of being a renewing getaway, the trip was a precursor to the disintegration of Rick and Sue’s relationship. Sue turned to her journal once again.
Rick and the boys went up to St. Louis to have an extended visit with his family on July 13. I talked to Rick on July 24 and he told me that Timmy had behaved so badly in Bible school that his brother David had called him and asked that Timmy be put back on meds. When he left home, Timmy was on meds. Now Rick was telling me that he stopped the pills as soon as he got to his mother’s house.
“Why?” I asked him.
“Because Mom insisted.”
“I’m ready to file for divorce,” I told him and hung up the phone.
I went upstairs to work on cleaning out Rick’s office while he was gone. It was impossible to walk in the room because of all the boxes and trash strewn across the floor. He had resumed his compulsive shopping habits and there were unopened items everywhere. And he didn’t just buy new stuff—he’d also bought polo type shirts at the Boysville thrift shop. They all looked too worn-out to wear but he did not seem able to stop himself from buying more.
Rick started driving back with the boys on August 1. He stopped at his alma mater, Southwest Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri, and took a nap in the Student Union. He allowed the boys to run wild and unsupervised on campus while he slept.
On August 2, Rick called to tell me that he and the boys had just returned from an all-night stay at the hospital in Pauls Valley, Oklahoma. “I drove until late and then we checked into a hotel,” he said. “I decided to take a shower but didn’t notice that the non-skid decals had come off the tub. I slipped and hit my hip.”
An ambulance took Rick and the boys to the hospital where x-rays revealed that nothing was broken. Rick was prescribed pain medication and muscle relaxers for his discomfort.
“I’m going to take a nap since I didn’t get any sleep last night,” he told me. “Then I’ll drive back to San Antonio.”
Because the medications he was taking were a safety concern, I objected. “I’ll catch a plane and drive you all home.”
“I am capable of driving,” he insisted.
The argument raged back and forth but finally Rick relented and agreed to wait until I got there to drive them home. I flew up to Dallas where I planned to rent a car and drive up to Pauls Valley. Then, I thought, I would drive the boys in the rental car and Rick could follow me back to the airport to return the rental.
But when I landed in Dallas, I had a voice mail message on my cell phone from Rick. “I’m feeling good. I’m driving to Dallas to pick you up.”
On the drive home, all he could focus on was his desire to sue the hotel for negligence. Apparently, he had spent that morning calling several of his Christian Bible Study attorney buddies trying to establish grounds for a law suit.
“It was your fault you fell in the tub because you were groggy. Common sense is all the defense the hotel owner needs. Besides, Rick, even if you won, what would you end up with? A hotel in the middle of nowhere that carried a large note?” I argued. I believe I talked him out of the law suit. But who knows?
The last time Sue’s close Amarillo friend Dee Ann saw Sue and Rick was in August 2002. Dee Ann did not think Rick was coping well—his conversations no longer made any sense and, for some odd reason, he’d shaved his head. When Dee Ann made a comment about Rick’s bald pate, she expected Sue’s usual response of joking that she had four boys instead of three, when Dee Ann pointed out something unusual about Rick. Instead Sue’s tone turned derisive. “It’s his new look,” she said.
Picking up on Sue’s attitude, Dee Ann mentioned that she had not heard Sue talk about the possibility of divorce since her mother was ill. She asked Sue what was happening.
“There is too much going on for me to try to file for a divorce right now,” Sue told her.
Despite what Sue told her friend, circumstances arranged themselves in a manner that would make divorce more possible than ever before. Her inheritance from her mother gave her the money she needed to pay for one. And she no longer needed to face her mother’s disapproval if she did go through with it. All she needed now was the gumption to take action.
Dee Ann and George were concerned about their friend because her self-confidence seemed to be at an all-time low. Sue had always been in control of herself and her family. Now she appeared to be at a crisis point and not as sure of herself as she was before.
In September, Sue drove up to St. Louis with a friend from work in a small rental truck. At her mother’s house she met Pete, who drove up in his pickup from Kansas City. To Pete, loading up his truck and Sue’s rental van was a chore, but he noticed that, for Sue, it was a grand adventure filled with excitement.
After the work was done, Pete didn’t dawdle—he wanted to get back home before dark. As he drove off, he thought about how much he admired his younger sister. He knew how difficult it was to raise three children and maintain a professional career at the same time. But Sue did it and always with such a positive attitude. No matter what she did, Sue had fun doing it—and made sure that everyone around her was having a good time, too.
Later that month, Sue hosted a Southern Living party at her house for Julie Speer. A few days later, Rick and Sue went over to Julie’s house to select the place settings they wanted to buy. Sue pointed to a green bowl she liked.
A strange look crossed Rick’s face. “You never liked green before,” he said. “What else has changed since we got married?”