“EXPLAIN AGAIN HOW YOU and Mark spent the morning before the hike,” Deveraux asks.
I’m sick of talking about it, but if I don’t talk now, I may never get a chance to again.
“Mark showed up at my place, and we went to Rita’s for breakfast. It was like he knew something was up, and he was super nice to me all day, even though things hadn’t been the same since we had that argument about Tabby. The one Kyla overheard. He ordered a shit ton of food and we didn’t talk about Tabby at all, and it felt like the old days, before girls and before things got messed up between us.”
I leave out what he said when we paid the bill and left. He said something that changed everything.
“I’m sorry. About that night. I was wrong. I must have been jealous or something, but I feel horrible about it, dude.”
He felt horrible for accusing me of something I had been guilty of the whole time. He felt horrible, when I had literally been fantasizing about a world without him in it. I almost started to cry.
“I told him about Tabby,” I say. “That she came over sometimes. That we were friends.”
“And how did he react to that?” Deveraux asks.
“He was cool with it,” I say. “He said Tabby was a good friend to have.”
I leave out the surprised look that took over his face. I leave out what he really said. “I know she was worried about you since you don’t really have anyone. I trust you, dude.” I leave it out because it was so fucking patronizing.
Here’s the rest that I can’t tell Deveraux. I hung out by the woods, watched them start their hike. I guess I had nothing better to do. Tabby was laughing, and holding Mark’s hand, like they were a real couple, like she wasn’t constantly bitching about him and plotting to end things for months.
I realized that if she could do that to him, she could do that to me. That maybe she’d been doing it to a long chain of guys. That my allegiance was to the wrong person, but it wasn’t too late.
So I went back to Kyla. And yeah, she’s saying I wasn’t there when she woke up, but I needed some air, and I took a walk. I couldn’t sleep, because I knew I fucked up. Yeah, Mark was a golden boy, and yeah, I wanted him tarnished, and yeah, he stole every girl I was ever interested in, but I never wanted him dead. I should have warned him, because if I knew Tabby, I would have known she was capable of going that far. What were her exact words? He can’t know this is coming.
The weird thing is, Tabby never gave me her phone number, and never asked for mine. We always just got together somehow, her showing up at the grocery store, her showing up at my apartment. I think she knew the whole time that this was going to happen. She got close, but made sure we never crossed a line. That girl covered her tracks. And the stuff that the cops did find—I can guarantee she wanted it that way. I mean, she made me search for that stuff about the trails. Because she wanted us to go hiking sometime. That’s what she wanted me to think.
Deveraux takes another one of those dramatic pauses I really hate her for, and I’m bracing myself for the next onslaught when she nods. “No further questions.”
I can’t decide if they’re the best or worst three words I’ve heard.
Before I stand up, I make the mistake of glancing at Tabby. Her eyes are right on me.
And she’s smiling.
THE COLDCLIFF TRIBUNE
Cousins to take the stand in slain boyfriend case
By Julie Kerr
After revelations that rocked the murder trial of Tabitha Cousins, 17, Cousins herself will finally take the stand tomorrow to tell her version of the story. New evidence linking Keegan Leach, 20, to the murder of Mark Forrester, has upended a trial that was expected to focus solely on Cousins. It’s now looking like Cousins herself may have been a victim of Leach’s obsessive tendencies, and Forrester may have paid the ultimate price.