IT WAS A GAME TO HER. I can see that now, even though I couldn’t see it then. Mark came home for the summer and she went to meet him right away, and I hated her and wanted her to hurt. That night when we all went for dinner, I could tell Tabby knew what I was doing under the table to Elle and I could tell it made her upset.
“You haven’t been in Stop & Shop,” I told her when we all left the restaurant.
“I guess I have all the groceries I need,” she said, all clipped. I almost wanted to tell Mark about us hanging out, but I was afraid if I did, she wouldn’t come over anymore. As pathetic as it sounds, she was the only real friend I had. Mark was away at school most of the year and he had his college friends and teammates. I had nobody. Nobody except his girlfriend.
Then Tabby came back to me. She came to my apartment filthy, all sweaty and with dirt on her legs.
“You should come hiking with me,” she said. “It’s exactly what you need.”
We looked it up on my laptop that night. The Split, the Mayflower Trail. She said we’d go sometime soon.
“Maybe tomorrow,” I said.
“Not tomorrow,” she said. “Mark’s training all day.”
It was the worst feeling. She didn’t mean we as in me and her. She meant we as in the three of us, this fucked-up triangle I never wanted to be part of.
“Another time, then,” I said. “Mark has to be there, too.”
“Hey,” she said. “Look up how far from the Split to the creek. And if someone would die if they fell.” She rubbed my shoulders. “I’m just curious.”
That’s the day I knew she was planning something. I just didn’t know what.