Chapter Twenty

The next morning, Grace drove to Liberty Ridge and dropped off Granny at her apartment before heading home. She couldn’t wait to get back and show Ezra’s journal pages to Heath. When she pulled into the driveway, she noticed Tyler’s car parked in front of the house and saw he stood on the porch, wearing an easy-going smile. How long can I hide out in my car? Anticipation of the difficult conversation ahead churned nausea in her gut.

Before she could pull herself together, Tyler opened the door. He pulled her to him, and his lips found hers. The hard urgency behind his kiss was unmistakable.

“I’ve missed you.” His finger traced across her jaw line. “I’m counting down the days until our wedding. I want to wake up every morning and see your lovely face.”

She stepped out of his embrace. “I’m glad you’re here. We need to talk.”

Tyler collected her suitcase from the car’s trunk, and she followed him onto the porch.

“Your mom said you were in Oklahoma. Why didn’t you tell me?” With a frown, he set down her suitcase next to the door.

“I didn’t want to bother you. I know you’re busy catching up on things at the office. Granny and I had a good trip.” Would he care about her recent discovery? Since the conversation wouldn’t involve business or oil, probably not.

“You can tell me all about it over dinner. Let’s drive home to Dallas and go to that bistro you like. You can stay for a few days.” Tyler wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I’ve just spent the last five hours driving. I don’t feel like spending anymore time in the car, sorry.”

Tyler’s smile faltered. “What’s really going on, Grace?”

“I’d like to take a walk.” Her body buzzed with nerves. “Something has been weighing on my mind.” As they strolled through the meadow behind the house, Tyler held her hand more firmly than necessary. When they approached the gazebo, she was surprised to see the structure was nearly complete. Heath had done a beautiful job.

Tyler turned and cupped her face in his hands. “I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching over the past week. I want to tell you I’m sorry for how I acted the last time we were together. I was wrong to dismiss your feelings.”

The buzz of cicadas matched the rapid beat of her heart. She struggled over what to say. How could she tell him that while he was off, building his career, she’d gone and fallen in love with another man? How could she express that gently?

He hooked his thumbs in the front pockets of his dress pants. “I am willing to consider living in Liberty Ridge, but first give us a few more years in Dallas to establish my career.” His hand brushed her cheek then he tipped her face to meet his gaze.

Skepticism tightened the knot of tension in her gut. “You would do that for me? Live in a small town and buy a house in the country?”

He held her close. “I’m willing to consider it. I finally realized that I don’t care where we live, as long as I have you to come home to at night. I love you so much, Grace. You know that, right?”

“I never doubted that.” Guilt stabbed her in the chest. She had betrayed his love and trust. “I don’t want you to live someplace that will make you miserable.”

“Honey, I feel like I’m losing you, and it’s all due to my stubbornness. Let’s get through this wedding before making any big decisions. I think all the stress is making us both a little crazy.”

On their first date, Grace had been so nervous she’d thrown up right before Tyler arrived at her door. He’d looked so handsome in his suit and tie, his blond hair styled to perfection. She’d experienced one of the best nights of her life. And now, she considered walking away from the one person she’d wanted for so many years.

Her heart had broken in two—half staying loyal to Tyler and the other pulled toward Heath. But two nights ago, Heath was clear he did not want her.

What was a girl to do? Be true to yourself.

The uncertainty tore her apart. Grace stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on Tyler’s lips. He clung to her like a drowning man, making her feel a rush of panic instead of the calm reassurance she’d hoped for.

“Not too much longer,” Tyler said. “We’ll be right here, reciting our vows. Then, we can start our life together.

Frustrated at her own lack of backbone, Grace only nodded. All the words she planned to say now jumbled in her brain. Dashing someone’s dreams was difficult, especially when he stood right before you, declaring undying love. She slipped her hand in his and forced a smile. What a coward.

Later, after Tyler had left to drive home, Grace called a crisis intervention. Molly and Jenny agreed to meet her at the Desert Rose. She trusted both to offer straightforward, honest advice—something she desperately needed.

By the time Grace got to the bar, the other two women were already seated, each with a drink in hand. She slid into the booth next to Jenny and ordered a strawberry margarita. The cold, fruity drink was halfway to her lips when she saw Heath enter the bar. She lifted her hand to wave to him, but her smile faded when he walked in the other direction, toward Colleen Gardner.

As Heath sat across from Colleen, he greeted her and smiled.

Holy cow, are they on a date? With his gaze fixed on Colleen, he hadn’t even noticed Grace. I think I’m going to be sick.

Molly’s gaze followed Grace’s, and her eyes bugged out. “Is that Colleen Gardner with Heath?”

The scowl on Grace’s face deepened.

Jenny leaned into her shoulder. “You still crushing on him?”

“What?” Grace’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Oh, please.” Jenny’s hand gestured through the air while she talked. “After the last time we were at the house, you know, for the picnic, I sensed something in the air between you and Heath. Alex told me I was imagining things.”

Grace’s face grew warm. “You two have to swear to secrecy…because as far as anyone else knows, I’m marrying Tyler in less than three weeks.”

Jenny and Molly nodded then scooted closer.

“I knew it,” Jenny whispered. She rubbed her hands together.

“Marrying Tyler would be a mistake.” By giving her doubts a voice, Grace felt a suffocating weight lift off her chest. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs. “For both of us.”

“You should marry Tyler.” Molly frowned and pointed her finger at Heath. “I understand the appeal of a bad boy, but Heath’s type is nothing but trouble.”

“Heath is not the same guy you arrested at the bar, Molly. He’s changed,” Grace pleaded. What could she say to help them understand what made Heath special? “Working at the ranch and spending time with my family has helped. He fought for years to protect our country. Yes, he has problems, but nothing that love and support can’t see him through.”

“Grace, people who suffer from those issues need more than love.” Jenny patted Grace’s hand. “He needs professional help.”

Grace turned her head toward Heath and Colleen.

Heath broke into a huge grin at something Colleen had said. She then reached over the table and placed her hand over Heath’s.

The sight of them enjoying each other’s company made her sick to her stomach.

“You are engaged.” Molly pointed to Grace’s engagement ring. “Have you told Tyler you’re second-guessing your decision?”

“I couldn’t.” Grace hunched her shoulders and slid down farther in the booth seat. “I’m still unsure. I want to live in the country and let our kids grow up with fresh air and freedom. Tyler wants to live in Dallas to be close to his office. The thought of returning to the city gives me hives.”

“And what does Heath want?” Jenny asked. “Do you know where he’s planning on living in a year? In a month?”

Grace couldn’t remember if Heath had ever talked about his plans once he left True Horizon. “He’s never said,” she admitted. “He lives his life one day at a time. I don’t know if he’ll ever settle down.” Admitting the truth hurt. She honestly didn’t know if Heath would be around in another month. Any day, he could hop on his bike and leave, and she’d never hear from him again. “Whatever my decision, my choice has to be best for me. I can’t build my life around what makes everyone else happy.”

“Time for you to stop pleasing everyone else.” Molly set down her drink. “But regardless of what happens with Heath, if you’re having doubts about Tyler, you need to tell him.”

“It’s only fair.” Jenny lifted her margarita and took a sip.

At that moment, Heath glanced her way and their gazes locked. After a few seconds, he looked away.

Grace fought the urge to march over there and claim him with a kiss, right in front of Colleen. She was so hopeless. With his long hair and scruffy beard, he was the type of man she normally would reject out of hand. The suit-and-tie type had always attracted her. Her feelings for Heath had little to do with his outward appearance, but instead, the gentle soul he hid underneath. She took another sip of strawberry margarita. The icy sweetness took the edge off the sour taste in her mouth.

Jenny put her arm around Grace and gave her a gentle squeeze. “We love you, Grace. I know you’re really torn. Heath seems like a nice guy, and your dad likes him. Not to mention my girls adore him.”

Thank goodness for girlfriends. Grace rested her head on her sister-in-law’s shoulder.

“I thought you rushed things with Tyler,” Jenny continued. “I’m not surprised you’re having doubts.” Jenny’s gaze flickered over at Heath. “When you lie in bed at night and slide into your dreams, which man do you imagine holding you close? That’s the man you can’t live without.”

****

Heath heaved a hay bale off the trailer and onto the barn floor. The repetitive action was a safe outlet for his growing frustration. In that moment, too many uncomfortable emotions slammed him like a tsunami wave, all at once and completely overwhelming. In the years after John’s death, he’d only made room for anger and revenge. Sympathy, forgiveness, kindness, and love had all been exiled.

With Colleen’s help, he had started opening up emotionally, which left him off balance. He was treading on unstable ground. She’d asked to meet at the bar last night, in order to help him learn how to deal with real world stressors. After some practice, he understood his emotional triggers, how to recognize his body’s reaction, and safe coping measures. Although her methods sounded simple at first, the process was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.

While at the bar, he’d experienced several triggers which normally would have induced a bad reaction. But Colleen had talked him through. What Heath hadn’t shared with Colleen was how the sight of Grace, sitting across the room, had made his heart race. When he’d seen her, the rest of the world disappeared, leaving behind a raw desire to possess her body and soul.

Grace was the reason he wanted to become a better person. She was the reason he was putting himself through the emotional wringer. For the first time in a long time, he had a clear mission—leave the past behind and embrace the future.

Unfortunately, time was his enemy. Every day that passed, he knew he had one less to earn Grace’s love. A fact beyond his control that frustrated him to no end.

He threw another hay bale toward the ground. Growing hot, he took off his shirt and tossed it off to the side. He continued unloading the trailer until the last bale was on the ground. Then, he drove to the side of the barn, unhooked the trailer, and walked back toward the barn door. Halfway to the barn, he noticed Grace and Bruce on the front porch of the house. Grace stood behind Bruce, who sat on a folding chair. A flash of light reflected off something in her hand. After a moment passed, he realized she was cutting her dad’s hair.

Grace looked up and glanced at Heath, standing across the yard. She smiled.

Even at that distance, he still felt the impact. Every smile was a gift, just like the one kiss they’d shared. He remembered the softness of her lips and the way her body fit perfectly against his. Afterwards, he’d been wrong to push her away. Would he have the courage now to speak the truth?

“Heath!” Grace called out. “Come here. I have something to show you.”

He walked across the lawn and joined them on the porch.

Bruce stood and brushed off his pants. “How do I look?” He pointed to his freshly trimmed hair.

“Real good, sir. I hope I still have a nice head of hair when I get to be your age.” He smoothed down his own hair, which rested on the nape of his neck, tied with a leather strap. His scalp dripped with sweat.

“Who needs a barber when Grace is so talented with a pair of scissors?” Bruce leaned his large frame against the porch rail.

Heath noticed Grace was looking everywhere but at him.

When she finally did look his way, her gaze drifted to his bare chest, and her face instantly reddened.

He laughed to himself, thinking how farm work had left him more muscular that he’d been in years. Nice to know he still had a talent for making a woman blush.

“You’re next.” She pointed to the metal chair, which had been occupied earlier by Bruce.

Grace’s wicked smile jerked him out of his self-admiration.

Snipping the scissors through the air, she stepped toward him. “Time you let that go.”