Chapter Twenty-Three

He wouldn’t blame Grace if she walked out the door and never spoke to him again. The incident had been three years ago, and he still couldn’t forgive himself. Seeing the horrified look on her face, as he told her about the bomb drops he’d helped coordinate nearly sent him fleeing in shame. Fat tears roll down Grace’s face as he explained how he’d found the destroyed hut, dead bodies strewn across the ground.

“They all died?” Grace choked. She swiped away tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“Yes. We didn’t know they were there. The Taliban put those people there as hostages to use for their own escape, but I was the one who pushed for the bombs.” The last confession of a condemned man. “I see those people around me, in the faces of young children. I relive that day over and over in my dreams. My nightmares are violent. Anyone sleeping next to me would be in danger.” A warning. Loving him was unsafe.

She scooted back in her chair. “Is your therapy helping with the nightmares and flashbacks?”

“The process is slow. And I’ll never be totally free of the effects of war. Colleen is teaching me coping techniques. Plus, I have started an anti-anxiety medication. I spent a long time getting into this deep hole, and I’ll need some time to dig myself out.” He raised his gaze to the sight of Grace’s tear-reddened face. Her pain nearly tore him in two. He’d left a blood stain on pure white snow.

“Your story is a lot to take in.” Grace crossed her arms over her chest. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“I understand.” His heart squeezed with panic. Did she see him as an evil monster?

Grace stood.

Heath thought she was heading to the door.” His stomach lurched, but he wouldn’t stop her. Instead, she walked around the table and curled up on his lap like a small child, resting her head on his chest. For several minutes, all he heard was the beating of their synced hearts.

She sighed. “My feelings haven’t changed. What happened was…horrible. But I know you were put into a difficult situation and under extreme stress. You are a good man.” Her finger tapped over his heart.

She’s not giving up on me. A wave of calm washed over him.

If only he could carry her away, to a world without need for soldiers or war. Only love. “You’re better than I deserve. The smartest thing I’ve ever done was jump into the river after you.” His arms tightened around her. “You are the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and I never in a million years thought I had any right to love you.”

“Good thing I’m a klutz.” She kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’ll need time to digest everything you shared with me.”

He pressed his cheek to the top of her head. Her hair was still damp and smelled like flowers and rain. “I can live with that.”

“I should get going.”

Her mouth said one thing, but her eyes told him another story. Heath took her face gently in his hands and drew her into a long kiss. Feeling her caress inflamed his desire. He wanted more. Instead he pulled back, taking long, steadying breaths. “I’ve just told you some pretty awful things. Make sure a relationship with me is what you really want.”

Grace passed the back of her hand across the scruff on his face. “Only good dreams tonight,” she whispered.

As she ran across the dark yard, to her parents’ house, a bright star shot across the sky. What chance did his heart ever stand when even the stars couldn’t help but fall for her?

****

The next morning, Grace found her mother in the kitchen, armed with a litany of questions. Cupboards slammed and dishes rattled in punctuation of Joslyn’s tirade.

Yes, she had been in Heath’s bunkhouse last night. No, she wasn’t marrying Tyler. And yes, Heath was the man her heart had chosen.

“I don’t believe it.” Joslyn spun to face Grace and threw her arms in the air. “You’ve pined for Tyler Ross since the day you got your first pimple.”

She half expected the glassware to shatter from her mother’s shrill voice. “Please calm down. You’ll wake up Dad.” Grace paced in front of the kitchen counter. “Over the years, I made Tyler the perfect man, and I’ve realized he and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of important things. Marrying him wouldn’t be fair to him or to me.”

Joslyn arched her eyebrows, creasing her normally smooth-as-ivory forehead. “You want to talk about fair? You’re tossing aside Tyler, a man who adores you, for someone who’s only home is our bunkhouse.”

“Leave Heath out of this.” Grace’s temper flared. “The reason I broke off the engagement has nothing to do with Heath.”

“Really?” Her mother crossed her arms, and her foot tapped-tapped-tapped on the porcelain tile floor. “I think Heath has everything to do with the cancellation of your wedding. You changed the day you fell off the bridge.”

Grace sighed in resignation. This repeated conversation had been as productive as a dog chasing its own tail. “I realize you only want what’s best for me, but please trust me, I wouldn’t be happy with the life Tyler wants. I don’t want to live in Dallas and become a neglected oil executive’s wife.”

“Oh, stop being so overdramatic.” Joslyn’s face softened, and she opened her arms. “Honey, I love you. I’m worried you’re making a hasty decision based on feelings for a man who could potentially ruin your life.”

Stepping into her mother’s embrace, she groaned. “Why won’t you give Heath a chance?” How could her mother not see what a kind and nurturing man Heath was? He spent hours in the fields, caring for their herd of cattle. Or how perfect he and Grace were together?

“Your dad and I gave him a place to live and a job, even after he was thrown in jail. Yes, we know all about the bar fight. We live in a small town, and people talk. Don’t ask me to entrust that kind of man with my daughter.”

Grace turned toward the window which overlooked the meadow behind the house. “Just because Tyler has money, comes from the right family, and dresses well doesn’t mean he’s perfect. He left on a month-long business trip right before our wedding. His career has always taken precedence over me.”

“Tyler will be here tomorrow,” her mother said. “Promise you’ll talk with him and give him a chance to work things out.”

“I already agreed to talk with Tyler tomorrow, but right now, I need some space. I’ll be at Molly’s place.” She walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs.

“Grace,” her mother called. “Please think of your father. Seeing you throw away a secure marriage to run off with the hired hand will break his heart.”

Those were the last words she heard before she fled into her room. Twenty minutes later, she was driving to Molly’s.

When she arrived, her friend waited at the door.

Grace entered Molly’s townhouse and set her bag on the floor. “My mother will be the death of me.” Her best friend had been there for many of Grace’s disagreements with her mother. She knew better than anyone about Grace’s frustrations and heartaches. “Can I move in with you until I find a place in town to rent?”

“You’re always welcome here, but I don’t think moving here will solve the problem. Tell me what’s going on.” Molly led her to a cream-colored sofa. Both women sat, legs tucked underneath and faced each other. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”

As she told Molly everything that had happened in the past week, Molly’s face stayed neutral.

To her friend’s credit, she didn’t criticize her decision to jump into a relationship with Heath. Once the heavy stuff was out of the way, they spent the rest of the day binge-watching an entire season of Zombie Survivor and eating junk food. For a little while, Grace forgot about her troubled love life.

As the sun set, Molly cracked open a bucket of frozen margarita. By two a.m., Grace was very tipsy and reluctantly called it a night. Crawling into the bed in the guest room, she became infected with a case of the giggles. Maybe her silliness was a release of stress or too much alcohol. She lay under the purple blanket and laughed until tears streamed from her eyes.

Molly opened the door and poked in her head. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know.” Grace hiccupped. Clearly, she was overtired. “I was remembering when you threw Heath in jail. He looked a mess, and his beard and face were covered in blood. Now, I’m in love with him. My mother’s right.” She sat up, and the room tipped to one side. “I’ve lost my mind.” A burst of laughter followed her statement.

Molly sat on the edge of the bed. “That night, I saw a spark between the two of you. Heath was working off a buzz, and you were playing Florence Nightingale. The way he responded to you was special. Tyler screwed up big time by leaving you for so long.”

Instantly sobering, Grace’s goofy smile turned serious. “I know you don’t approve of Heath, but thank you for your support. You’re a good friend, Molly Hernandez.”

Molly rose to her feet. “Someday, when I find the man of my dreams, you can return the favor.” She stood barefoot, wearing pink bunny fleece pants and a Liberty Ridge PD T-shirt.

Last year, Molly had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. Grace was by her side through treatment. Now, Molly contemplated life outside their small town as a Federal Drug Enforcement Agent.

Grace had never loved her friend more than she did at that moment. “I promise.” She scooted back underneath the blanket. “Good night.”

“Night.” Molly closed the door.

Grace turned off the bedside light. In the darkness, she replayed Heath’s story from the night before. Her body sickened with raw grief for the innocent women and children who died. The man who’d witnessed such horrible things was the same one whose kiss melted her core. Two sides of the same coin.

Could she sleep next to him and feel safe? Or would violent nightmares and flashbacks cause her unintentional harm? His past would always be a part of who he was. For better or worse, his experiences had formed him into the man he was today. She had to be confident that when the going got rough, and it would, she’d love him enough to stand firmly by his side.

****

The next morning, when Grace finally dragged herself out of bed, she grabbed her cell phone and noticed a text from Tyler.

—On my way. Meet me at the gazebo at 10—

Dread hit her. She was not looking forward to this conversation. She still cared for Tyler but her connection with Heath was soul deep. Maybe Tyler had also realized they’d grown apart. As Grace drove on the long, gravel driveway to her parents’ house, she realized the ranch was part of her soul. Most people might not understand why a piece of land meant more to her than anything money could buy.

She parked next to Tyler’s sleek car and, out of habit, checked her hair and makeup in the visor mirror. With buzzing nerves, she slowly walked toward Tyler, who waited in the gazebo.

Before Grace was halfway there, her mother opened the screen door. “Grace, I need to see you inside.”

Grace waved at Tyler before following her mom into the kitchen. “I don’t need any more lectures.”

“Sit, please.” Joslyn pointed to a kitchen chair.

Her mother’s normally smooth complexion now appeared flushed and uneven. Shadows darkened the puffy skin under her eyes. Grace’s stomach hummed like a hive of bees. “Mom, what’s going on?”

Joslyn lowered her gaze to her folded hands. “Dad’s sick. He didn’t want you to know until after the wedding.”

“I know he wasn’t feeling well the other day, but he said it was nothing to worry about.. He’s just been busy working the ranch.” Her body seized with worry.

“Several weeks ago, he was diagnosed with MS, Multiple Sclerosis. Honey, his symptoms are progressing quickly.” Joslyn straightened in her chair. “Soon, he won’t have the strength to run the ranch. We plan on selling. I want to travel while he still has the strength.”

Shock numbed her to the core. Her mother’s words made no sense. Dad was the strongest man she knew. And selling the ranch—how could they give up a place so precious? Grace shot to her feet. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

The shimmer of tears shone in Joslyn’s eyes. “Dad didn’t want to spoil your special day. He wanted his baby girl happy, not worried about her father.”

Grace choked back a sob. “Are you sure the doctors didn’t make a mistake?”

“Honey, we’ve seen a number of specialists.” Joslyn held Grace’s hand. “You need to understand the full ramifications of calling off your wedding. Dad and I would both feel better knowing you were settled and being taken care of.”

The world under Grace’s feet tipped on its axis. “Who all knows?”

“Besides, you and me, no one. We haven’t even told Alex, yet.” Joslyn exhaled a deep sigh. “Please reconsider. Walking you down the aisle while he still can would mean so much to your daddy.”

The plea shot straight to her heart. She knew he would support her, no matter what. Dad always understood what made her tick. They were so much alike. “Where is he? I need to talk with him.”

“He’s out in the south pasture, checking on the heifers.” Wiping tears from her eyes, Joslyn sniffed. “He didn’t want me to tell you. I only did because I’m afraid you’re making a mistake by calling off your wedding.”

Frozen with overwhelming grief, Grace couldn’t move. The room spun. Despite her emotional state, she needed to make her position clear. “I’m not making a mistake. I don’t love Tyler enough to devote the rest of my life to him.” She took a deep breath. “I understand your concern, but please trust that I made the best decision for both Tyler and myself.”

Joslyn wrapped Grace in a gentle embrace. She brushed her fingers through Grace’s long hair. “My wish since the day you were born is that you’d grow into a woman who knew her own mind. Seems like I got my wish.”

“I also know my own heart. I want a marriage as wonderful as yours.” Grace sighed and rested her head on her mom’s shoulder.

“What your dad and I have is special, and you deserve that, too.” Joslyn released her hold and stepped back. “I love you, my sweet daughter, and I respect your decision. Now, go outside and talk to Tyler. Then come find me when you’re finished. I’d like to hear more about where your head and heart are leading you.”