Mack called out sick the next day at school. She had spent the whole morning texting Beth how she was sorry and didn’t mean what she’d said, but at most she got the little bubble that alerted her Beth was typing, then nothing.
After a couple hours of unanswered texts, Mack tried to message Veronica, except she didn’t have her number so she just bombarded her on all forms of social media that she could without seeming like a creeper.
And Lila. Mack was sure Lila didn’t want to talk to her at all, which was just fine with her. If Lila thought Mack was being ridiculous even after this whole mess was her idea…then fine. She could go be the cheerleaders’ hand servant if it made her happy. Mack didn’t care either way.
Around dinner time, Mack finally made it downstairs. She dragged her feet into the kitchen and slumped down at the table as her mom slid a plate in front of her.
“Mackerel,” her dad said as he sat down across from her. “What’s wrong?”
“She had a fight with Lila,” her mom said.
Mack just groaned as her dad hummed. “Lover’s quarrel.”
“It’s not!” Mack lifted her head from the table with a frown. “Why do you two think Lila and I are together?”
Her dad shrugged and looked at her mom who just busied herself with her own plate. “I guess I just assumed.”
“Well, please stop. My love life is complicated enough as it is,” Mack said, stabbing at a green bean with her fork.
Her parents looked at each other like they could read each other’s minds before looking back at Mack. Her mom sighed and shook her head. “I just think you need to fix things with Lila. You’ve known each other for so long—”
“I know, Mom,” Mack sighed. “We’ll see. She kinda hates my guts right now.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you,” her dad said.
“Well, she went and joined the cheerleading cleanup team just to get back at me. So, I’d say she’s pretty pissed.” Mack shoved a green bean into her mouth. “She’s not answering any of my texts so I’m going to try and corner her at school tomorrow.”
Her parents nodded slowly, looking from Mack to each other once more. Mack felt a twinge of annoyance and rolled her eyes, shoveling more green beans into her mouth.
“And we’re not together,” Mack said again, hoping she made a point this time. Her dad just held his hands up in surrender and her mom shrugged. Maybe someday she would convince them. Like when she got a real girlfriend. If that day ever came.
* * *
The next day at school was probably one of the worst days of her life. It seemed all perfectly dramatic, but it was true. In the morning she had tried to talk to Lila, but as soon as she saw Mack walking toward her, she took off.
For some reason, people were bullying her more now than they had been when everyone first found out she was gay. She was shoved from behind and had a bruise on her arm where she had been pushed into a locker. Her ears burned in embarrassment as she tried to get her bearings and continue on her way down the hall as if nothing had happened. It felt like she was on the verge of tears all day.
Beth wasn’t even at school so Mack’s mind went insane thinking of all the reasons she could be out. The thing she kept coming back to was that Beth was so mad at her she couldn’t even come to school. She knew it was self-centered, but that’s where her mind went.
But Lila ignoring her killed her the most. Lila had been there for her, her rock since the first day of school. Now it felt like she was floundering without her.
Lunch was probably the worst, though, to be fair, Mack brought it on herself. She went through the lunch line with her head down. Mack tried not to think about it too hard. She was going to sit in her usual spot and hope Lila would at least acknowledge her, but when she turned away from the counter she saw Veronica standing there at the condiments counter just a foot away.
Mack fidgeted with her tray and took a couple of steps closer, easing her tray next to Veronica’s.
“Hey,” she said softly, stomach twisting. “I’m…sorry.”
Veronica kept staring at the ketchup squeeze out as she pushed the pump so Mack continued.
“I um…Suzan told me you…” Mack felt her face heat. “…that you maybe had a thing for me and you broke up with Chad and I was stupid to believe her.”
“Yeah, you were,” Veronica said simply. She hit the ketchup pump a little too vigorously. “So please. Stop talking to me.”
Veronica turned on her heels and stalked back to her table. Mack blinked at her back, a heavy pressure behind her eyes as she cleared her throat.
After that, she didn’t even bother trying to sit in the cafeteria. She just took her tray and sat on the bleachers. The only other kid there was Stuart from band who was too weird to even sit with the other band kids. He spent the whole lunch staring at Mack from the other side of the bleachers with his bologna sandwich.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” he asked, voice nasally.
Mack blinked at him. “Which one?” she asked bitterly.
“The scary one,” he said, “Lila.”
“Why does everyone think she’s my girlfriend?” Mack asked herself. She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
Stuart took a big bite of his sandwich, chewing with his mouth open. “Seems like it. You two seemed pretty chummy. You were always touching her.”
Mack forced a laugh despite the heat rising in her face. “No, I wasn’t. Not more than a normal friend.”
“I don’t touch my friends like that.”
“Shut up, Stuart,” Mack mumbled as she stood up from the bleachers, her tray held tightly in her hands. “You don’t know anything about female friendship.” Mack left it at that as she stomped down the bleachers, throwing her entire tray in the trash can.
Okay.
So maybe Lila was Mack’s best friend who knew every little thing about her, the person who loved her and she loved back. The person she would do anything for. The one that made it feel like she was missing a limb whenever she wasn’t around. It didn’t mean she was in love with her…right?
Mack stopped in front of her locker and looked at the picture of her and Lila taped on the inside, the one where their faces were pressed together, cheek to cheek, and their smiles took over their entire faces.
“Well…shit,” Mack said to herself as she shut her locker.
Mack came up with the best worst idea ever. Literally ever. It would determine everything. It would tell her whether or not she was in love with Lila as more than a friend.
It could also cement Lila’s hate for her, but well, Mack had nothing else to lose at this point. She had spent the last three hours of school analyzing every single interaction she’d had with Lila in the last year or so. And she was starting to question her feelings for her best friend along with everyone else.
She had determined that if this was a stupid teen movie, she would be in love with Lila. So there was only one way to figure out if she had feelings for her or not.
That’s how Mack ended up standing in front of Lila’s house. She had her hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket, rocking back and forth on her heels. Was this a bad idea? Probably. But still not as bad as trying to steal all the cheerleaders from their boyfriends.
“All right,” Mack said, trying to psyche herself out by shaking out her limbs. “I want to figure this out once and for all. Maybe I’m in love with my best friend. We’ll see.”
Her fist hovered over the door for a moment before she took a deep breath and knocked three times quickly. There was the sound of someone coming down the stairs before the door opened. Mack’s heart already felt lighter when she saw Lila standing there in basketball shorts and a hoodie. But as soon as Lila saw her, she shut the door with a roll of her eyes.
Mack frowned and knocked again. “Lila! Open up!”
“I’m not home!” Lila called from the other side of the door.
Mack rolled her eyes and leaned her forehead against the door with a dull thump. “Lila, please? I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I was such an asshole and I’m sorry I drove you to join the shitty part of the cheerleading team. I know you don’t even get a cute uniform.”
There was silence for a moment and Lila opened up the door just a crack and Mack stumbled forward before straightening up. Just big enough for her to barely see through.
“You were a huge asshole,” Lila said.
“I know,” Mack breathed, relieved that Lila was even talking to her. “I know I was and I’m so so sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you. You’re…You’re my ride or die bitch.”
“Your emotional bra?” Lila asked softly.
Mack chuckled and smiled warmly. “Yeah. My emotional bra.”
Lila opened the door a little wider, shoving her body in the space between the door and the frame as she looked at Mack. She fiddled with the loose strings in her pockets to avoid reaching for Lila, even though her body was itching to.
Mack licked her lips and shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” Lila mumbled. “I was a bit dramatic about the whole thing. I was just—” Lila pulled on the strings on the front of her sweatshirt and sighed. “I was jealous. You were getting all this attention from other girls and you didn’t have time for me anymore and…it hurt. I know I need to let you spread your gay wings and fly but I don’t know. And then I thought by joining the team you’d pay more attention to me again.”
Mack felt her heart beat a little faster. Was this it? Was this “the moment” that every stupid high school movie had?
“Well, you would look really cute in that uniform,” Mack confessed with an awkward smile.
Lila tilted her head, light eyes on Mack for the first time since she got there. “You think so?”
Mack rubbed the back of her neck and shifted nervously. “Yeah.”
“Mack…have you ever…?”
Suddenly her mouth felt dry. “Have I ever…what?”
Lila didn’t say anything else. She just put her hands on either side of Mack’s face, took a step forward and kissed her square on the mouth. Mack’s mind reeled in surprise for a moment at the feeling of Lila’s lips against hers, stomach squeezing a little.
Lila pulled back and blinked at Mack. “Did you feel anything?”
Mack’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. “I mean…Your lips are a little chapped—”
“No, focus,” Lila said, squishing Mack’s face a little. “Did you feel anything?”
Mack licked her lips. Kissing Lila was…nice. But it was just like kissing the other cheerleaders. Nice and definitely fun. Mack obviously didn’t have a whole lot of experience in this department, but all of the books and fanfiction she had read always talked about the first kiss like it was the most dramatic thing in the world. Like when their lips met, there should be full thunderstorms up and down her spine or flowers should spontaneously bloom around them. Something. Maybe she was doing it wrong. Or maybe she had been oversold on this whole kissing thing. She didn’t have the fluttery heartbeat or the stomach ache inducing joy that happened when she kissed…
Oh.
Mack looked at Lila carefully. If she really thought about the facts, she should be into Lila. They’d been best friends forever, clearly compatible. Mack thought she was super hot, even if it was in an objective kind of way. But kissing Lila wasn’t like—
Well it wasn’t like kissing Beth.
Mack just blinked at Lila and her shoulders fell.
“Me either,” Lila sighed, sounding relieved as she dropped her hands from Mack’s face. “I thought maybe we were super stereotypical. The whole being in love with your best friend thing.”
Mack smiled, “Yeah, me too.”
Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about Beth and how her lips were so soft and tasted like Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers. Mack frowned and stuffed her hands in her pockets again. “Can I come in? Are we good?”
Lila smiled and pulled Mack into the house by her arm. “Duh. And now I can quit the stupid cheer squad.”
Mack shivered. “I don’t know why you did that to yourself.”
“I was panicking. It seemed like the right thing to do,” Lila confessed as she closed the door. Mack looked around the entryway nervously, unable to stop thinking about Beth. And kissing her. And touching her.
God, she was gay.
“What’s wrong with you?” Lila asked as she started up the stairs to her bedroom, Mack following behind.
“Um…” Mack fidgeted. “Is it too soon to talk about the cheerleaders again?”
Lila turned quickly and stared Mack down. “Depends.”
“Depends on what?” Mack asked.
Lila didn’t say anything until they got to her room. Both of them threw themselves on the bed, the mattress bouncing under them. Mack pulled a pillow to her chest while Lila propped her head up on her elbow to better look at her.
“All right, just tell me and I’ll cut you off if you get annoying,” Lila said with a skeptical eyebrow raise.
Mack groaned and bit her lip. “Well, I think I have a real-life crush.”
“On one of the cheerleaders?” Lila asked. “We already knew that. Stupid Veronica—”
“No…not Veronica,” Mack said.
Lila gasped and hit Mack’s arm in disbelief. “No way. Who?”
“Beth,” Mack confessed, her voice small. Lila’s eyes got big and Mack put her pillow over her face. “I can’t help it! She’s just so cute and sweet and a really good kisser! And we have way more in common than I ever thought we would. Seriously. We play all the same video games and she’s also obsessed with those videos of hamsters eating tiny plates of food.”
Lila wrestled Mack’s pillow from her face to get a better look at her face. “Does she like you too?”
“Probably not anymore,” Mack sighed. “I fucked up with her too.”
“What’d you do, dumbass?” Lila asked.
Mack grimaced. “I basically told her it didn’t matter.”
Lila gasped. “Shit.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Mack groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I was just upset and it came out all wrong and I made her cry.”
Lila smacked Mack with the pillow and she screamed. “Ow!”
“You fucking idiot!” Lila said. “Beth is like the hottest cheerleader and you fucked it up!”
“I didn’t mean to!” Mack insisted, trying to block herself from the barrage of pillow hits from Lila.
“Okay, well now we have to fix it,” Lila said holding the assaulting pillow to her stomach. “You have to make it up to her.”
“How?” Mack asked, rolling onto her side. “I really messed up. I don’t think she’ll want to talk to me anymore.”
Lila shook her head. “You really know nothing about girls. There’s always a way to get them back if you’re not a total dick the second time around too. What does she like?”
“Um. Taco Bell, Beanie Babies—”
“Beanie Babies?” Lila said with a raised eyebrow.
Mack sat up defensively. “Yes, it’s cute. Don’t make fun of her.”
Lila held up her hands defensively. “All right. Well, I actually think my mom has all my old Beanie Babies in the garage still.”
An idea popped into Mack’s head and she sat up straight. “Does your mom still do those fake flower arrangements?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. I have a plan,” Mack said with a wide smile. “Will you help me?”
Lila tilted her head like she was thinking. “Do you promise not to ignore me again once Beth is back to making out with you?”
“I promise,” Mack said holding out her pinky. “With my whole heart.”
Lila looked down at the pinky for a moment before linking hers with Mack’s and smiling. “Then let’s get you the cheerleader.”
Mack fidgeted nervously, pulling on the sleeves of her suit jacket and running a hand through her hair. She choked a little when Lila pulled on her tie to get her attention. She was sitting on the hood of Mack’s car, Mack in front of her as she tried to tie her tie for her. Lila’s phone was open on her lap watching a how-to video.
“Stop moving,” Lila mumbled, squinting as she tightened the knot. Mack made an effort not to move as she focused on her breathing. Lila’s tongue was sticking out of her mouth in concentration, brow furrowed as she took one final look at Mack. “All right. My work here is done.”
Mack adjusted the tie a little and looked down at herself. She and Lila had gone to the mall the night before and bought a suit for Mack. It was simple, black with a white button-down shirt underneath. And yeah, maybe she did get it from the little boys’ section but she still looked good. She wanted everything to be perfect for Beth.
“Are you sure about this?” Lila finally asked.
“Nope,” Mack said easily.
“And you still want to do it?”
“Yep.”
Lila sighed and put a heavy hand on Mack’s shoulder. “As your best friend and former love interest—”
“I don’t—”
“Ssh,” Lila said with a shake of her head. “As your best friend and former love interest, it’s my duty to remind you what happened last time you asked a cheerleader to prom.”
Mack cringed and ruffled her own hair a little. Lila scoffed and batted her hands away as she tried to fix Mack’s hair again.
“I’m…repressing that,” Mack sighed. “Even if it’s the only thing I’ll ever be known for in school.”
Lila, seemingly satisfied with Mack’s hair again, and straightened out her lapels. “Beth is still a cheerleader. What if the same thing happens?”
Mack shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. She’s worth the risk. She’s worth…everything. I need her to know that. I will risk getting chicken nuggets and pudding thrown at me every day if it means I get to just apologize to her and tell her how I feel.”
“I thought it was mac and cheese,” Lila said with a tilt of her head. Mack shot her a look and Lila just smiled widely. “Look at you.”
Mack reached for her face. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
“No, dummy,” Lila said, pulling Mack’s hand away from her face and holding it on her lap. “Look at you! All queer and adorable and going after the girl you like. It’s sweet.”
Mack shrugged and gave Lila a lopsided smile. “I just really, really like her.”
“You’re so cute!” Lila exclaimed as she squeezed Mack’s cheek.
She hit Lila’s hand away. “Stop,” Mack mumbled through her smile. She wiggled her eyebrows at Lila as she put her hands in her pockets. “Sure you don’t have a crush on me?”
Lila rolled her eyes. “You wish. Now stop pining for me and let’s get you your girl.”
Mack smiled and nodded. “Okay. You good to get her to the park?”
“I’ll kidnap her if I have to,” Lila said jumping off the hood and spinning Mack’s car keys on her finger. She slid her sunglasses over her eyes and gave Mack the thumbs up. “Don’t worry about me. Just have your shit set up for when I get her here.”
“Got it,” Mack said, watching as Lila got in the car and started it. “Don’t actually kidnap her.”
Lila purposefully turned up the radio. “What?”
“Don’t actually—” Mack sighed as Lila shook her head and started to pull away, still pretending like she couldn’t hear her. “I know ‘Jawbreaker’ is your favorite movie but we don’t need a reenactment!”
“Great movie!” Lila agreed as she pulled away, leaving Mack in the middle of the park to wait.
“Will you go to prom with me? Will you go to prom with me? Will you go to prom with me?” Mack practiced under her breath as she paced in front of her carefully laid out proposal.
Mack looked down at her handiwork. Dozens of packs of Lip Smackers, all spelling out Prom? on the grass. She had just laid down the final blister pack when she heard a car approaching. She looked behind her and saw Lila pulling up, Beth sitting in the passenger seat with a blindfold over her eyes.
Her stomach flipped just to see her sitting there. Lila gave her a thumbs up and Mack picked up her handmade bouquet off the ground, if you could call it a bouquet. It was just a bunch of Beanie Babies arranged to look like a bouquet that Mack and Lila had made the night before. She held it behind her back so that Beth couldn’t see.
Lila helped Beth out of the car and Mack’s heart fluttered. She was in her usual cheer uniform, hands clasped nervously behind her back as Lila carefully walked her toward Mack. Beth was standing in front of Mack when Lila nodded at her and removed the blindfold. Beth blinked and blew her bangs from her eyes as the blindfold fell.
Mack felt her breath catch in her throat when Beth’s light eyes finally landed on her and all the words she’d been practicing flew from her mind.
“Hey,” she whispered.
Beth smiled nervously, crossing her arms. “Hey,” she said before looking down at her feet. “What do you want?”
Mack took a deep breath and ducked her head a little to look in Beth’s eyes. “I’m…I want to apologize, first of all.” Beth looked up at her and Mack felt a little bit of hope flutter in her chest. “I’m really sorry I was such a jerk. I shouldn’t have said those things that I said to you. You didn’t mean ‘nothing.’ Kissing you meant everything.”
Beth blinked at her. A small smile briefly flitted over her lips before it disappeared. She folded and unfolded her hands in front of her. “Is this because Veronica rejected you?”
“No,” Mack said quickly, “not at all. I don’t like her that way. I realized that, yeah, I liked kissing all the cheerleaders and it was fun, but the only person I wanted to kiss was you. But when I realized it, it was too late.”
Mack’s throat was tight with emotion, mouth dry as she tried to get a read on Beth. She saw her eyes shining with tears and got worried that she had fucked up again. Quickly, she pulled the bouquet from behind her back and held it out.
“I made you this.”
Beth stared at the bouquet and looked back up at Mack, taking a step closer to her.
“You made this? For me?”
“Yeah. Lila helped.”
Beth reached out and took the bouquet, cradling it carefully between her hands. She smiled brightly and Mack felt her heart leap in joy. She couldn’t help but smile back as Beth held the bouquet to her chest.
“But…a lot of these are rare,” Beth said. “How did you find them?”
Mack shrugged, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “It um, actually wasn’t that hard.” Mack shook her head. “So…do you forgive me?”
Beth tilted her head like she was thinking and Mack’s heart stopped for a moment. But the small, beautiful smile that bloomed on Beth’s face started it again.
“I forgive you,” Beth said. “I get it. You were like a kid at Disneyland for the first time. Suddenly all these girls wanted you and you couldn’t resist.”
“But I only want you,” Mack reiterated, reaching for Beth, hands on her arms. “So that’s why…I wanted to ask you to prom.”
Mack stepped aside so that Beth could see ‘Prom?’ spelled out in the Lip Smackers. Her eyes got wide and she smiled brighter than Mack thought possible.
“Yes,” Beth said, clutching the bouquet tighter. She hopped in excitement and giggled. “Yes!”
Mack stumbled when Beth threw her arms around her neck. Her hands automatically found Beth’s waist and held her close. She breathed her in for a moment, her head feeling light with Beth’s face pressed to her neck. Mack was sure her heart was doing somersaults in her chest.
Relief flooded her and she squeezed Beth a little tighter just as she pulled back. Their faces were close and Mack felt her breath catch in her throat.
“I missed you,” Mack blurted. She could feel the tips of her ears heat in a blush.
Beth’s fingers played with the hairs at the base of Mack’s neck and she shivered, involuntarily, bringing Beth closer.
“I missed you too,” Beth said, eyes flickering down to Mack’s lips. Without thinking, Mack leaned down and kissed her. Fireworks exploded in Mack’s mind and she sighed in relief. Kissing Beth was nothing like kissing anyone else. There was a Beanie Baby bouquet squished between them and Lila was two yards away but it felt good.
It felt right.
It was like a slow heat, building between them. Chills erupted over her whole body and she never wanted to stop kissing Beth. Ever. But a loud wolf whistle from Lila, who was leaning against the car, broke them from their moment.
Mack pulled away slowly but kept her face close to Beth’s, their foreheads resting together. Both of them had uncontrollable smiles on their faces as they just looked at each other. Mack sighed and kissed Beth briefly again. Maybe things were finally looking up.